My dear Śrīla Prabhupāda,
Please accept my prostrated obeisances at your lotus feet. All glories to Your Divine Grace!
During the past year I discovered I had a heart condition called angina. At first I was shocked. How could someone my age have angina? Old people get angina.
I did not know much about the condition. I had one old friend in India who had angina and died of a heart attack within two years. I also felt I could die at any moment. I considered, What should I do with the rest of my life?
Obviously I had to do what is most important to you and me. I thought of your instruction to me to write. Yes, I must write. And I must take shelter of the holy name of Kṛṣṇa and develop love for Him. I must prepare myself for the time of death.
Then I came across a letter you wrote to me in which you seemed to confirm the same conclusions: take care of your health, chant the holy name—and write.
“If you are feeling tired, you may take rest. Your body is very valuable. It is dedicated to Krishna, so you must take care of the body very carefully. The best medicine is to rest and chant Hare Krishna mantra, along with the doctor’s prescription. Hare Krishna mantra is bhavausadhi, the panacea for all material disease.”
In the same letter, you continued:
“Keep on with the practice of writing articles; in the midst of your heavy duties go on writing something glorifying the Lord and put our philosophy into words. Writing articles means to express oneself how he is understanding the whole philosophy. So this writing is necessary for everyone.” [Śrīla Prabhupāda letter, 12 August 1971]
Still, I felt bad I would not be able to travel and preach and serve as before. Then a Godbrother phoned and quoted you: “The duty of a sannyāsī is to write transcendental literature for the benefit of others.” At least I could offer you some service.
And you have been so kind. A nice couple south of Los Angeles have given me complete use of their town house, which also accommodates their beautiful Deities of Śrī Śrī Kṛṣṇa-Balarāma, Śrī Giri-Govardhana, and Your Divine Grace, while they stay nearby. They cook exactly according to my requirements, accompany me on my walk, and facilitate my service in every way.
You have given me the support and love of sincere and competent devotees. Even my former family, who were never very favorable to Kṛṣṇa consciousness, have come forward with all kinds of help. And my dear Godbrothers have given me their sublime association and sagacious advice even from afar. In fact, you have manifested yourself in all of them, as your Guru Mahārāja explains:
“My Gurudeva is residing in many different personalities. If he does not reside in many different personalities, then who will protect me? Those whom my Gurudeva considered close to him are my saviors. But I hope I never have to see the face of such evil-doing rascals as those who have criticized the lotus feet of my Gurudeva, or those who have somehow supported such criticism.” [Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhākura]
My health program includes strict diet, regular exercise, and the loving shelter of Giri-Govardhana and the holy name. The same program is also most conducive to spiritual life and to what may be my best contribution to you and your mission—writing about you and developing my relationship with Kṛṣṇa and Your Divine Grace.
Forever
“I will never die,” you said. “I will live forever in my books, and you will utilize.”
Over the past year you have given me many important instructions through your books and recorded talks. Today I wish to share some of the significant passages that appeared to guide me, in the hope that they may serve to encourage and enlighten others as they did me.
In Bombay you told me, “If you sincerely try your best to please Kṛṣṇa, Kṛṣṇa will be satisfied—even if others are not.”
Still, we do want to please others. Yet they may not be happy. Still, you give us hope:
Just like there was a clique. There was a brāhmaṇa. His name was Bhagavān. So he had some enemies. So the enemies, ten enemies, they sat down in ten places, and wherever he was passing, “Oh, you have become ghost! You have become ghost!” “Oh, how I have become? I am living. How I have become ghost?” Next post he goes, he also says, “Oh, you have become ghost! You have become ghost!” In this way, when he passes ten posts, he thinks, “I might be, I have become ghost. Otherwise everyone says I have become ghost.” So daśa cakre bhagavān bhūta.
So if everyone says I am lowborn, I am lowborn, so I also think I am lowborn. But I am not lowborn. Ahaṁ brahmāsmi. I am brahmāsmi. I am spirit soul. I am born of Kṛṣṇa. Kṛṣṇa is my father. Take like that. Think like that. That is twice-born. That is twice-born. So Kṛṣṇa says, māṁ hi pārtha vyapāśritya: “Anyone who takes shelter of Me, never mind what he is . . . Never mind he is. He may be lowborn, he may be a śūdra, he may be woman, he may be whatever he may be.” Te ’pi yānti parāṁ gatim: “He can also go to My kingdom.” [Śrīla Prabhupāda lecture, 29 July 1966]
When people speak of varṇāśrama–dharma, you tell us the conclusion is to serve you:
The Aryans [follow] these Vedic principles, varṇāśrama-dharma. Varnāśramācāravatā puruṣeṇa paraḥ pumān, viṣṇur ārādhyate. What is the purpose of varṇāśrama? Now, viṣṇu ārādhana. Why Viṣṇu ārādhana? . . . That is also answered by Lord Śiva. When he was asked by Pārvatī, “What is the best form of worship?” he recommended, ārādhanānāṁ sarveṣām: “There are many different types of worship.” Sarveṣām. Viṣṇur ārādhanaṁ param. . . . Here Lord Śiva says, viṣṇur ārādhanaṁ param. Then again he stresses, tasmāt parataraṁ devī tadīyānāṁ, tadīyānām ārādhanam: “Viṣṇu ārādhanam is the best, but better than this best there is another ārādhanam.” What is that? Tadīyānām ārādhanānām: “To worship the Vaiṣṇava.” Viṣṇu ārādhana is the topmost, but Vaiṣṇava ārādhana is still more. Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura therefore says, chāḍiyā vaiṣṇava-sevā, nistāra pāyeche kebā. The Vaiṣṇava ārādhana is so important.
Therefore Kṛṣṇa says [Bhagavad-gītā 4.34],
tad viddhi praṇipātena paripraśnena sevayā
upadekṣyanti tad jñānaṁ jñāninās tattva-darśinaḥ
[Śrīla Prabhupāda lecture, 18 September1975]
When darkness seems to engulf us, you explain why, and indicate that light may come:
Lord Kṛṣṇa said to King Yudhiṣṭhira, “My devotee is not deterred by any adverse conditions of life; he always remains firm and steady. Therefore I give Myself to him, and I favor him so that he can achieve the highest success of life.” The mercy bestowed upon the tried devotee by the Supreme Personality is described as brahma, which indicates that the greatness of that mercy can be compared only to the all-pervasive greatness. Brahma means unlimitedly great and unlimitedly expanding. That mercy is also described as paramam, for it has no comparison within this material world, and it is also called sūkṣmam, very fine. Not only is the Lord’s mercy upon the tried devotee great and unlimitedly expansive, but it is of the finest quality of transcendental love between the devotee and the Lord. Such mercy is further described as cin-mātram, completely spiritual. The use of the word mātram indicates absolute spirituality, with no tinge of material qualities. That mercy is also called sat (eternal) and anantakam (unlimited). Since the devotee of the Lord is awarded such unlimited spiritual benefit, why should he worship the demigods? A devotee of Kṛṣṇa does not worship Lord Śiva or Brahmā or any other, subordinate demigod. He completely devotes himself to the transcendental loving service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. . . .
When after the dense, dark night there is finally sunrise in the morning, it is very pleasant; when there is scorching heat, cold water is very pleasant; and when there is freezing winter, hot water is very pleasant. Similarly, when a devotee, after experiencing the distress of the material world, relishes the spiritual happiness awarded by the Lord, his position is still more pleasant and enjoyable. [Kṛṣṇa, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Chapter 88]
And when separation breaks our hearts, you assure us that if we follow your instructions we will serve you and Kṛṣṇa eternally:
There is a rasa, mellow—every ānanda. Just like if you take a nice fruit, mango, the taste is pleasing. That is called rasa, that taste. . . . So this picture [of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa with the gopīs] is ānanda-cinmaya-rasa. Here we have got that taste of rasa in a perverted manner. But cinmaya-rasa means it continues. This Rādhā-Kṛṣṇa with the gopīs, they are enjoying, dancing, chanting. That is eternally; that is never stopped. It is not that they become old and there is no more enjoyment or they are separated or somebody, Kṛṣṇa goes somewhere and the Rādhārāṇī goes to somewhere. No. Everything is eternal. . . .
So when you enter into the Kṛṣṇa science you get so much volumes of transcendental knowledge, and we are trying to present before you this knowledge in so many ways, by cleansing your heart from this material contamination. . . . When one is not contaminated, he’s relishing this Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra by associating with Kṛṣṇa. Just like Rūpa Gosvāmī, he’s also chanting. Caitanya Mahāprabhu is also chanting, but His chanting and my chanting, there is little difference. That chanting is on the transcendental platform, actually relishing with Kṛṣṇa. My chanting . . . In the beginning there are three stages: offensive stages, liberated stage, and relishing stage. . . . So we have to defend ourselves from the offenses. . . . Then our chanting will be purified. And when the chanting is purified, immediately you are liberated. And after liberation? Brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā: your life of devotional service actually begins. Then you relish reciprocation of love with Kṛṣṇa. . . .
So keep on chanting, you keep yourself purified, māyā cannot touch you. . . . So this mantra, apavitraḥ pavitro vā sarvāvasthām, any condition of life, you can simply remember Puṇḍarīkākṣam, Kṛṣṇa. As soon as you chant “Kṛṣṇa,” you remember everything.So this remembering is the whole thing. If you have got always within your heart Kṛṣṇa, by sound or by mental thoughts, by work, some way or other, by reading books, any way, if simply you keep your consciousness in Kṛṣṇa, then your life is successful. That’s all. [Śrīla Prabhupāda lecture, 16 July 1969]
Thus we take shelter of the holy name in any condition.
You have left so many instructions for us all. But how do we know which apply to us? On the auspicious occasion of your appearance day, we pray you will appear in our hearts and give us the intelligence to know which instructions are meant for us, and how to apply them in pure devotional service.
“To those who are constantly devoted to serving Me with love, I give the understanding by which they can come to Me.”
So, you teach us to love, you and Kṛṣṇa:
“We have a propensity to love, but we do not know how to make our love perfect. That perfection is possible when we love Kṛṣṇa. Now, in my old age, I am wandering all over the world teaching that everyone can become happy by practicing Kṛṣṇa consciousness. It is not that I love only my countrymen, only Hindus or Bengalis. I love everyone, even the animals.” [The Quest for Enlightenment, 7.2]
We learned to open our heart to you and Kṛṣṇa:
“Guhyam means “very confidential things,” and ākhyāti means “disclosing.” You must disclose your innermost thoughts to your beloved, and he’ll disclose his innermost thoughts to you. . . . These are the six ways of increasing love. If you act in these ways with Kṛṣṇa, you will develop love for Him.” [The Quest for Enlightenment, 7.1]
Thus you teach us bhāgavata–dharma, or prema-dharma, following Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu:
“The mission of our Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is to teach people how to love Kṛṣṇa. Only then will they be fully satisfied. As it is said in the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam [1.2.6]:
sa vai puṁsāṁ paro dharmo yato bhaktir adhokṣaje
ahaituky apratihatā yayātmā suprasīdati
The supreme occupation for all humanity is that which awakens loving devotional service to Kṛṣṇa. When such devotional service is uninterrupted and free of selfish motives, it completely satisfies the self.” Teaching this truth is the mission of the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. If people will accept it, all their problems will be solved, and they will be happy.” [The Quest for Enlightenment, 7.2]
Śrīla Prabhupāda, we are yours.
Forever yours,
Your eternal, dependent servant,
Girirāj Swami
