My dear Śrīla Prabhupāda,
Please accept my humble obeisances at your lotus feet. All glories to Your Divine Grace!
In December of 1969 you returned to Boston for the first time after I had met you and joined the temple in April. I stayed behind to help in the kitchen, while most of the other devotees went to receive you at the airport.
In the kitchen we listened to a tape of a lecture you had given the previous April in New York:
“We are worshiping govindam ādi-puruṣaṁ, the supreme original Personality of Godhead, who is known as Hari. . . . Antar bahir yadi haris tapasā tataḥ kim. If you always see Hari within yourself and if you see Hari always outside, inside and outside . . . Tad v antike . . . Hari is present everywhere, so one who sees Hari, antike, near, or distant place, within, outside, he does not see anything except Hari. How it becomes possible? Premāṣjana-cchurita-bhakti-vilocanena. When one is merged into the love of God, he does not see anything in the world except Hari. That is his vision. So . . . inside and outside, if you always see Hari, Kṛṣṇa, tapasā tataḥ kim, then what is the use of your other austerities and penances? You are on the topmost level. That is wanted. Nāntar bahir yadi haris tapasā tataḥ kim. And if you do not see within and outside Hari always, then what is the value of your austerities? Therefore . . . we chant this mantra, govindam ādi-puruṣaṁ tam ahaṁ bhajāmi. We have no other business. Simply we have to satisfy Govinda, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Kṛṣṇa. Then everything is complete. He is complete and His worship is complete, His devotee is complete.”
My heart softened as I contemplated your heart—always melted and filled with love for Kṛṣṇa. I just knew you were always seeing Kṛṣṇa. And I was eager to see you.
Finally you arrived. You climbed the stairs to the temple room—the floor there was freshly tiled and the walls freshly painted by the hands of the devotees—and took in the sight of the Deities of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa on Their new altar.
You were pleased. You said when we polish the Deities’ paraphernalia we polish our hearts. You said the sanctified atmosphere had infused your heart. And you praised Satsvarūpa for the improvements in the center.
You took your place on the vyāsāsana:
“I am so pleased that you are doing things just to my satisfaction. Stick to this principle and Kṛṣṇa will bless you, surely. Our line of action is not difficult: chanting sixteen rounds regularly, following the four regulative principles, taking prasādam, reading books. We have got so many books. Speak, discuss about the subject matter amongst yourselves. This is the process.”
Then you spoke from Śrīmad–Bhāgavatam.
Later some devotees accompanied you to the private house that had been arranged for you some distance from the temple. Only devotees with specific approved business were allowed to meet you there.
Yet we were glad you were free to rest and recuperate—and write.
One day you invited the staff of BTG to come and discuss. We, of course, were eager to hear about their meeting with you, anything and everything about you, and when they returned they seemed eager enough to share your instructions, you, with us.
They said you had told them that when Mother Yaśodā stockpiled butter, Kṛṣṇa came and stole it. Somehow or other we must distribute the BTGs. Otherwise, if we keep them in stock, Kṛṣṇa will come and steal them.
Then you discussed the order in which the articles should appear. You said first any article by Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, then by your Guru Mahārāja, then by you, and then by your disciples. And then you quipped: “Actually, your articles are also written by me. They are just submitted under different names.”
Now, on the auspicious occasion of your appearance day, I pray for your mercy, that whatever books and articles I write may actually be written by you, and that you may appear within them.
Then, if you do the writing—and we do the following—everything will be all right, complete. Hare Kṛṣṇa.
Girirāja Swami
