Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day Festival—Part 01

Giriraj Swami: I am sorry I made you wait. Today and for the days to come, we shall discuss Srila Prabhupada from different angles of vision, as we have served him and experienced him and realized something about him.

Today we are going to speak about Srila Prabhupada in Bombay. But Srila Prabhupada himself, is an ocean of compassion, an ocean of devotion, an ocean of good qualities in service to Lord Krishna. So we cannot describe the length and breadth and depth of the ocean, but we can only try to take one drop from the ocean and examine it.

In Srila Prabhupada’s life, he did everything to serve the mission of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and the previous acharyas. And although he began, or attempted to begin, the mission in India, he found some difficulty for the people were entranced by the political leaders and political ideology. And therefore he thought that, If the people in India are not so interested, maybe I should go to the West. And Srila Prabhupada comments that the preacher can judge the particular circumstances in the particular place, and if he finds that the place or the conditions are not favorable he may go somewhere else.

Anyway, his spiritual master had ordered him to go to the western world and preach in the English language. So he thought of America, and he went to America. And after preaching in America from 1965 or 1966 until 1970 or 1971, Srila Prabhupada decided to return to India with some foreign disciples. He felt that the Indians want to imitate the westerners, so if the westerners take to Krishna consciousness, and then the Indians see that they have taken to Krishna consciousness and want to imitate them, they can also come back to Krishna consciousness.

So Srila Prabhupada left America and went via Japan to Calcutta and then to Bombay. And in the meantime, the party of devotees that Srila Prabhupada had selected to join him in India, went from New York via Brussels, Cairo, and Bombay. And then Srila Prabhupada came to Bombay to meet them. And Srila Prabhupada, with his foreign disciples, created tremendous impact. Actually, when people would see Srila Prabhupada’s disciples dressed with dhoti, kurta, kunti mala, tilaka, japa mala, they couldn’t believe their eyes. And the sight and the phenomenon touched some very deep cord in their hearts, and many of them, they would cry when they would see the devotees. They would feel elated that the Vedic culture had been accepted by foreigners.

Then, Srila Prabhupada did the first big pandal in India, in Bombay. And the people of Bombay responded tremendously. And after the success of the festival, Srila Prabhupada wrote a letter to the life members saying that, “This is just the beginning, but actually we have many big plans, and we want you to cooperate. We want to establish an educational institution for preaching Krishna consciousness and training preachers of Krishna consciousness.” And from the very beginning, Srila Prabhupada had an exact idea of the big preaching that he wanted to do in Bombay.

Then by Krishna’s arrangement, one of the devotees met Mr. Nair, who was the editor of the Free Press Journal, which was one of the main daily newspapers of Bombay. And he was very prominent. He had been the sheriff of Bombay, and he was very wealthy. So he said that he had one large plot of land in Juhu, which would be very suitable for some great cause as Srila Prabhupada’s. And he offered the land at a very cheap price to Srila Prabhupada, and Srila Prabhupada took it. “Took it” means he entered an agreement to purchase the land from Mr. Nair, and he paid a down payment of fifty thousand rupees. Then he paid another fifty thousand rupees to take possession of the land. And according to the agreement, upon paying another hundred thousand rupees the land was supposed to be transferred in the name of ISKCON. But there was a big conspiracy, and our lawyer was actually Mr. Nair’s friend. And he paid Mr. Nair the one hundred thousand rupees that was supposed to be paid upon transfer of the land, but he paid it without the land being transferred. And that was the beginning of Mr. Nair’s effort to cheat Srila Prabhupada. He wanted to keep the money and drive Srila Prabhupada from the land. But Srila Prabhupada had some foresight, some divine vision, and he anticipated that there might be some difficulty.

So he brought the deities to the land in Juhu, although there was no proper arrangement for them at all. There was only one pandal. Pandal means a big tent and a stage. And on this stage was a little deity house. Because Srila Prabhupada felt that once the deities came, then nobody could remove them. And he prayed to the deities that, “You just come and sit here, and I will arrange everything for you.” And this was always the mood of Srila Prabhupada, to do everything for Krishna.

One time earlier in Calcutta, there were some complaints amongst the devotees about the management. So Srila Prabhupada listened to the devotees very attentively and very sympathetically. And he called all the devotees, and he let each one express his grievance. Then Srila Prabhupada instructed the managers, corrected the managers, and said that they should see that the devotees are satisfied. But then Srila Prabhupada actually changed his mood completely, and he said that we can find so many faults and we can have so many discussions, but if we do, then our real business of Krishna consciousness will be forgotten. He said because we are conditioned we are prone to discuss so many things except Krishna, but actually, we should discuss Krishna. And then Srila Prabhupada told how much he had suffered. He said, “Actually, I do not want to say how much I have suffered, but I went all alone on the boat. I suffered two heart attacks on the way, and in America also I suffered in so many ways. And after beginning the movement also, and I do not wish to discuss how I have suffered, but I never complained because my principle was always everything for Krishna and nothing for myself. And then we always keep the principle that everything for Krishna and nothing for myself, then we will not have any difficulty to remain in Krishna consciousness.”

So Srila Prabhupada invited the deities to come although the facilities for the Deities at Juhu were less than the deities had in Bombay. But he invited the deities, because he knew the purpose of the deities. The purpose of the deities is to preach Krishna consciousness.

Krishna says:

paritrāṇāya sādhūnāṁ

vināśāya ca duṣkṛtām

dharma-saṁsthāpanārthāya

sambhavāmi yuge yuge 

That He appears to establish the principles of dharma, and particularly bhāgavata-dharma, or Krishna consciousness. So knowing the purpose of the deities, Srila Prabhupada invited the deities to Juhu, although they had less facility in Juhu than in Bombay. But he promised them that, “You just stay here, and I will make all arrangements. I will build a nice temple for You.”

So there was so many intricacies. We cannot discuss all of the intricacies, but you can read about them in Śrīla Prabhupāda-līlāmṛta. But finally, Srila Prabhupada succeeded in getting the land transferred in the name of ISKCON with great difficulty. Then he had to build the temple. And to build the temple he needed funds. So I had one friend in Bombay who was very wealthy, but whose main office or interest was in Lagos, in Nigeria. So he invited me to go there to raise funds. So I asked Srila Prabhupada, and he said I should go. Then the GBC for Africa said that we would go together and he would keep half, and I would get half. So I mentioned to Srila Prabhupada, and Srila Prabhupada said, “Why does he have to accompany you? You can do it yourself. Why should he take any percentage?”

Then Srila Prabhupada was talking that he was also going to the West, and he was going to meet all of the big leaders in ISKCON. And he said he was going to flatter them and say that, “Oh, you are doing such nice service. Please give me some money for Bombay. Oh, you are doing such nice service, please give me some money for Bombay.” So actually, I felt quite bad that Srila Prabhupada had to deal with us like that, but he was very personal and very intelligent and very tactful, and he was ready to do anything for the service of Krishna.

So Srila Prabhupada was also very expert at engaging people, and in India many people have material abilities that the devotees in the temple may not have, and Srila Prabhupada was very expert at engaging them. So one of the friends or life members who Srila Prabhupada engaged was Mr. Sethi. And Mr. Sethi was a building contractor, he used to build buildings. And then there was a big struggle to get the permission to build the temple. But somehow or other, Mr. Sethi was able to get permission to build one floor on top of some apartment buildings that were existing at the back of the land. Because otherwise the devotees were just living in one, you could say, straw hut but not as nice and romantic as straw hut sounds; much worse than that. And Srila Prabhupada commented that one of the duties of the spiritual master is to provide residence for the disciples. So with the money from West Africa and some other funds, we were able to build the additional floors on the old buildings. And when they were almost finished, Mr. Sethi wanted to bring Srila Prabhupada to see them. So Srila Prabhupada went upstairs and he saw the buildings, and he commented to Mr. Sethi that, “Just as you are building these rooms for Krishna’s devotees here, Krishna is building your rooms for you in Vaikuntha.

Then after getting the land and permission, Srila Prabhupada wanted to raise some funds in India. And he was talking to some devotees and one life member named Dr. Patel. And Srila Prabhupada was asking Dr. Patel whether he thought that we could raise the funds in Bombay. Dr. Patel said, “No. People will not give.” Then Srila Prabhupada said that Bombay is such a rich city. “Do you think the project would cost one crore rupees?” (Which means ten million rupees, hundred lakhs, or about one million dollars then.)

Dr. Patel said, “No. I know the people of Bombay. They won’t give. You should bring the money from abroad.” Then Srila Prabhupada said, “I can bring the money abroad, but then what will be your credit? You should collect here. Bombay is a rich city, and in one day if the people wanted they could give one crore of rupees without any difficulties.”

Then, Dr. Patel said, “They won’t give. I don’t mean to discourage you, but they won’t give.” Then Srila Prabhupada said, “You don’t mean to discourage me, but you are discouraging me. “You are discouraging me.”

Then Dr. Patel said, “Which way will the deities face?” Then Srila Prabhupada gave the idea, “As the deities are now.” Then Dr. Patel said, “No, that is not the right direction according to scripture.” According to scripture, they should face East, but according to the situation of the land it was not practical.

Then Srila Prabhupada said that, “Our God is everywhere. ito narasimhah parato narasimho, yato yato yami tato narasimhah, bahir narasimho hrdaye narasimho, narasimham adim sharanam prapadye. Our God is everywhere, and we are going to face the deities as convenient for the preaching.”

So Srila Prabhupada, as the empowered acharya, as the empowered representative of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and the disciplic succession could see perfectly what Krishna wanted and what was more important and what was less important. And he knew what Krishna wanted and he wasn’t so concerned about details. He could distinguish between what was an important principle, and what was a less important detail.

So Srila Prabhupada did inspire the various leaders to send money. Gurukrpa and his party in Japan sent so much money, and the book distributors in America and throughout the whole world they also contributed through the BBT so much money. And Srila Prabhupada saw Bombay as a strategic place for spreading Krishna consciousness in relation to the whole world. He once wrote that Bombay is the gateway to India, and in every respect, the most important city in India. He said that many foreigners come to India to find spiritual life, and generally they come to Bombay first, so we can meet them in Bombay, then they can get the real idea of Indian culture or spiritual life. And he also wanted that the leading people of the world should come there; the leading people of India, also. And therefore, he created many facilities to attract people, to accommodate people, and to cultivate them. And the project was unique in ISKCON at the time. There was Govinda’s Restaurant, there was the ISKCON Guest House, there was the auditorium, and of course the temple, and within the cultural complex there was a library and other various facilities.

And Srila Prabhupada wanted people to come, especially the Indian people to come get the full experience of Krishna consciousness. He told Bhakti Svarupa Damodara Maharaja that he should invite the scientists there. Take them to Govinda’s and fill them with good prasādam. Then take them to the auditorium and give them some good cultural show. And he said, “After that, they will be so satisfied that they will agree with whatever you propose.”

So there is a lot of potential in Bombay. Some of the potential has been realized, but much more still has to be realized. Srila Prabhupada saw that, through Bombay, leading people could be cultivated from throughout the world. In 1978, BI (Bhaktivedanta Institute) organized one conference, “Synthesis of Science and Religion.” And in 1985 that was in connection with Lord Chaitanya’s 500th Anniversary Celebration, and many Nobel laureates came and had exposure to Krishna consciousness, and they were duly impressed. And from the support of the people in Bombay, or those who visit the center in Bombay, Srila Prabhupada wanted to develop the Mayapur city, also.

So Srila Prabhupada struggled a lot. Sometimes those of us who did not have the opportunity to be close to Srila Prabhupada personally may not actually be able to appreciate the thoughts and the emotions and the behavior of a pure devotee. Therefore Chaitanya Mahaprabhu has said, quoting from Mahābhārata that, “The principles of religion are stored within the heart of the devotee,” because there are so many different scriptures and each scripture seems to say something different, or even within the same scriptures there seems to be different instructions. And then again there are so many sages, and each sage has a different idea from the other. So how to know what is the real path of religion? So Chaitanya Mahaprabhu said that the real principles of religion are enshrined within the heart of the devotee, and therefore we should follow the pure devotee, mahajano yena gatah sa panthah.

So by appearing in the world, living amongst us, and working with us, Srila Prabhupada established the real principles of Krishna consciousness. And one thing he showed was how one must struggle to execute the order of the spiritual master and serve the mission of the Supreme Lord. Of course Srila Prabhupada endured many physical hardships. Even in Juhu, there was no proper place for him to stay. At first he had to stay in one room of one apartment of some tenant. But maybe the greatest austerity was the anxiety that Srila Prabhupada felt for the deities, for the movement, for the devotees. Although Srila Prabhupada was always coming to Bombay and going, but he was always thinking about Bombay.

And one time when he was in East Africa, Brahmananda Prabhu saw that Srila Prabhupada was not eating, and he asked Srila Prabhupada, “Why are you not eating?”

Now, Srila Prabhupada had received some reports from one of the neighbors that there was some conspiracy between the site engineer and the storekeeper. And they were throwing construction materials over the wall, and then by some arrangement, collecting the construction materials and selling them. And we in Bombay, didn’t even know. But Srila Prabhupada, eight thousand miles away, knew. So Brahmananda Prabhu asked Srila Prabhupada, “Why are you not eating?” So Srila Prabhupada had gotten the report, and he replied, “How can I eat when my money is being stolen?” Then he thought that he must return to Bombay. And he came to Bombay.

Then in Bombay, he found that the devotee architect was reluctant to dismiss the storekeeper and especially the site engineer. Now Srila Prabhupada had very strong principles. If he found that someone was stealing or cheating, he didn’t want to deal with him. Sometimes we think that if we are very clever or very intelligent we can deal with a cheater, but Srila Prabhupada had no such ideas. Generally, if he found someone was a cheater he didn’t want to have anything to do with him. So he wanted to get rid of them. But the devotee who was in charge of the construction, he didn’t want to let them go. Then Srila Prabhupada called the devotee and he said that, “I came to Krishna consciousness for a life of bliss, but instead, I am just getting a life of anxiety. So please help me.”

Then Srila Prabhupada thought maybe the architect wanted some money; maybe he was getting some money from the arrangement. And he said, “I don’t mind if he is a householder and if he wants money, I don’t mind. I can pay him.” But of course, no one would really like to say to Srila Prabhupada that they wanted money.

Anyway somehow or other, Prabhupada’s will prevailed, it always prevailed. But it was not easy for Srila Prabhupada to deal with the devotees, because they often had their own opinions; they were very strong willed individuals. So then he had to satisfy everyone and at the same time, accomplish what he wanted to accomplish.

So gradually, everything happened as Srila Prabhupada wanted it by the mercy of Krishna. And the building was almost finished by, say August or September of 1977. And Srila Prabhupada came to Bombay, and he said he wanted to see the opening of the temple. But the fact is that the temple wasn’t as ready as Srila Prabhupada had hoped. And there was so much construction going on the site, and especially the marble was there. And all over the site the marble workers were chipping at the marble, and there was always the sound of hammering. So the devotees said to Srila Prabhupada that the sound of the hammering must be disturbing you. And Srila Prabhupada said, “No. It is like music to me.” But actually, Srila Prabhupada couldn’t rest properly in Bombay, and he was not well at all.

Then he called the devotees that, what to do? First question was hospital. Should he go to hospital? But actually, he never wanted to go to hospital. But Srila Prabhupada discussed everything with the devotees, both so that they could participate in the process and not feel that Srila Prabhupada was forcing them to accept something, and at the same time Srila Prabhupada was training them by engaging them in discussions and showing them how to analyze different questions and problems, and how to resolve them.

So first was no hospital. He mentioned one godbrother who had gone to the best hospital and gotten the best treatment, having so many tubes and needles and bottles and everything. But Srila Prabhupada said he didn’t want to die like that. So first thing was no hospital. Then the next thing was whether to stay in Bombay or go to Vrindavan. Then here there were two arguments. One argument was that Krishna would decide. Srila Prabhupada always said he was waiting for Krishna to decide what would happen to him. So then one devotee suggested, “Well, if you have to wait for Krishna’s decision, then why not go to Vrindavan? Vrindavan will be the best place to wait.”

Then another devotee said that when people know you as the World Acharya, and even if we open the temple now, if you are as you are without any strength and very emaciated, then it won’t be appropriate. So even if you have to come back to open the temple it is better that you go and recover and then come back strong as people always saw you, and then open the temple. So finally it was concluded that Srila Prabhupada would go to Vrindavan.

Then one disciple said to Srila Prabhupada, “If devotees know that you are going to be leaving, then so many devotees will want to come and be with you; hundreds of devotees who want to come. Then Srila Prabhupada said, “They can come. We can accommodate them.”

Then another devotee suggested, “But then again, Srila Prabhupada, there may be devotees who feel that they can serve you better or please you more if they stay where they are and distribute books.” Then Srila Prabhupada replied, “Then they can stay where they are and distribute books.” So Srila Prabhupada gave the devotees some freedom to choose, and then he left for Vrindavan. And somehow, I don’t know if people had the premonition that Srila Prabhupada wouldn’t return, or whether they were just shocked and sad about Srila Prabhupada’s condition then, but when Srila Prabhupada went into the car and was being taken to the train station to go to Vrindavan, it was really like Akrura taking Krishna to Mathura. Everyone, even his neighbors and parents of devotees, and just whoever was there, they were just all crying. And then Srila Prabhupada came and he spent his last weeks here.

So we will be having more discussions in the temple. His Holiness Satsvarupa dasa Gosvami Maharaja will be conducting the discussion as he did in the class and asking significant questions to senior devotees. But we still do have a few minutes, so if anyone wants to ask a question or make a comment, there is some time.

Devotee: [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: I went to Lagos, and by Prabhupada’s mercy we collected a lot of Lakshmi. And that was the main money that was used to build the additional floors on the top of the old building.

Devotee: [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: Not in his physical presence. He left on November 14, 1977, and the temple opened on January 14, 1978, two months later. But he was very much present and Time Magazine – well, many big newspapers and magazines covered the event; New York Times. But Time Magazine gave a full-page with color photos, and they had a picture—you might have seen the diorama of Srila Prabhupada standing under the tree in Tompkins Square Park, in New York City when he first went to America. And then, when the temple opened there was the beautiful marble vyāsāsana. So Time Magazine ran photos of both, saying how Srila Prabhupada had gone to New York without anything and began the movement by preaching under the tree and then how in the end he was installed on the vyāsāsana. Though, they gave the caption, “From Rags to Riches,” but in their own way, they appreciate it.

Devotee: . . . statement about Prabhupada making a statement that he would spend so much money on the Bombay temple. But Prabhupada came to England. It was the opening of Bhaktivedanta Manor, on Janmashtami in 1973. And Bali-mardana Prabhu had just arrived. He came from New York. So Prabhupada was only talking about Bombay. He wasn’t talking about the Manor or anything that was going on in England. Just like you had mentioned, he would go out, and he would glorify everybody. But instead of glorifying Bali-mardana preaching in New York—and he was organizing saṅkīrtana and so much money, just like this, and he asked him, “So how much have you got? How much have you collected for New York?” He said, “A hundred and forty thousand dollars, Prabhupada.” “So you should give all that to Bombay.” And that is what he did.

In fact, he personally brought us to Bombay with the money to help with the construction. But I remember sitting with Prabhupada in his darshan room, and he made a comment that, “I was prepared to spend any amount of money for the Bombay project; any amount.” But generally speaking, Prabhupada’s very conservative when it comes to spending money, but in this particular project he emphasized, “Any amount. I will take from anywhere and [Unintelligible 00:45:28].

Giriraj Swami: That is another example of how tactful Srila Prabhupada was in dealing with the feelings of the devotees. The devotees, at the time, had the plan that from England Srila Prabhupada should go to America, but actually, Srila Prabhupada wanted to come back to India. But he couldn’t really express himself. But then Bhakti Svarupa Damodara Maharaja came to engage me in the service of Radha-Rasabihari. Means he wanted to go back.

Devotee: [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: People in Bombay did donate and especially when the project was coming up they gained confidence, and then they started to donate more. So eventually, I think they gave a fair amount, maybe twenty lakhs, but definitely the majority came from the BBT and the money the devotees had collected in New York and Japan and other places.

Devotee: [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: Bombay was his headquarters for Krishna’s business. It was the head office of the Society in India. It was the place that he registered the BBT. It was a strategic place, because Prabhupada was spending six months in India and six months in the West. And in India he spent more time in Bombay. He was a preacher. He was from a big city; not in the material sense, but even Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura appreciated that most of the devotees came from villages, but Srila Prabhupada came from big city, so he expected that he could do more. And Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura also wanted to establish centers of Krishna consciousness in big cities.

Devotee: Also on that particular point, Prabhupada likened Bombay to Los Angeles. He said that Bombay is the sister city of Los Angeles because the geographical locations, also the just the appearance even. But Prabhupada had also made Los Angeles international headquarters in the West, while Bombay was also the headquarters in India.

Devotee: [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: There were some. One Farsi man gave fifty thousand rupees.

Devotee: [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: One man gave fifty thousand rupees, and we got some Farsi buyers also to do service.

So now we should end and go to the temple for more talks about Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada ki jaya! Nitai-Gaura prema-

[Break]

Devotee: Giriraj Maharaja, I will direct this to you. Srila Prabhupada sometimes described his disciples as all pure devotees, mahatmas, and this seems to be extremely generous estimation of the devotees who had been practicing only a few years and only recently given up sinful life. So how do you account for Srila Prabhupada’s references to his disciples like that?

Giriraj Swami: Srila Prabhupada would quote the verse from Bhagavad-gītā (7.19):

bahūnāṁ janmanām ante

jñānavān māṁ prapadyate

vāsudevaḥ sarvam iti

sa mahātmā su-durlabhaḥ

That after many births and deaths of searching for knowledge, one who is actually wise surrenders to Krishna, and such a great soul is very rare. So Srila Prabhupada would sometimes say that not only are the devotees mahatmas, but they are sudurlabha mahatmas, very rare mahatmas. Similarly he said that anyone who is sincere servant of the spiritual master or surrender to the spiritual master is pure a devotee.

Devotee: But you are teaching, for example, Nectar of Devotion very scientifically and precisely in terms like mahatma or sudurlabha, or once Prabhupada was saying how the devotees he expected them to have bhāva in their worship of the deity. So I think you have partly answered, but I am just pressing you a little, that if these terms are used so scientifically, how do we understand that Prabhupada applying them to us?

Giriraj Swami: Maybe Srila Prabhupada was generous. He definitely saw the best in everyone, and by seeing the best in everyone he brought the best out of them.

Once we did hari-nāma saṅkīrtana in Madras, and the newspaper covered the event and said that the devotees were chanting and dancing in ecstasy. And some person from the Gaudiya Matha wrote to the newspaper and complained that ecstasy is bhāva, and bhāva is a very high state that comes much later in devotional service, so they could not be chanting and dancing in ecstasy. And when Srila Prabhupada read the letter to the newspaper he was very upset, and he wrote a reply. And he always used to say that dancing is one of the first symptoms of ecstasy. So in one sense, if I can give a little scientific explanation, in one sense, from sraddha to prema they are all just further developments or maturation of the same thing. Srila Prabhupada gave the example that a ripe mango is also a mango and an unripe mango is also mango. So his disciples are all pure devotees, because they have surrendered to him, to Krishna through Prabhupada, but they are not ripe. But if they continue the process they will become ripe. But bhakti is bhakti.

Devotee: So Prabhupada encouraging us in that way was a mixture of his generosity, but was based on siddhanta also. But not just a dry technological way, but with love and heart for us.

[Break]

Devotee: Giriraj Maharaja, I want to ask you about Prabhupada in Bombay. Even when someone hears about Prabhupada in Bombay for the first time, he is struck by how much surrender is required by all the devotees who are assisting Prabhupada and Prabhupada’s own examples. So you were a relatively young devotee at that time. Could you recall for us any instance when Prabhupada pushed you further than you wanted to go or thought you could go in service and surrender, and how you were able to do that?

Giriraj Swami: Most of the time, Srila Prabhupada was pushing me further, and he was able to do it by his mercy. The difficulty began when I first came to Bombay from Calcutta after Prabhupada had come to Juhu. Madhudvisa Swami had been the temple president, but he needed some change. Brahmananda had taken charge, but he had to go back to Africa. So then Srila Prabhupada said, “So who will be the president?” and nobody thought of me. And then Srila Prabhupada surprised everyone, and he mentioned my name. And I felt very shocked and concerned when he proposed me, so he said, “So do you accept?” So I knew that we were supposed to follow the instructions of the spiritual master, so I said, “Yes.”

Then later, Srila Prabhupada was talking, and he was leaning back and speaking in a jolly way and relaxed way and he said, “So now the full responsibility is on you.” And when he said that, I felt so bad, because anyway, I felt that I was accepting responsibility more than I could handle. And then, when he said now the full responsibility is on you, and then he laughed. Then I knew that Prabhupada was perfect, but I thought, “Why is he saying such things? Doesn’t he know how I feel, and why is he laughing?” But I suppose Prabhupada knew past, present, and future and everything he did was for our benefit as well as the benefit of the mission. And I knew that he wouldn’t ask me to do anything that ultimately wasn’t the best for all concerned, so I accepted it.

Devotee: I think if we study your life there, we can all learn how to surrender to Prabhupada.

[Break]

Devotee: Giriraj Maharaja, we often see pictures of you walking with Srila Prabhupada on Juhu Beach along with other devotees. Could you tell us what it was like being with him on those walks?

Giriraj Swami: One of the main features of the morning walks on Juhu Beach was Srila Prabhupada’s talks with Dr. Patel. Dr. Patel was educated in England as doctor, and he had some pride. And he was Gujarati, considered himself Vaishnava, knew Sanskrit, and he always used to argue with Srila Prabhupada on the morning walks. And sometimes the devotees would get upset the way he would argue with Srila Prabhupada, but Srila Prabhupada would always engage him.

Then once, Srila Prabhupada criticized one of Dr. Patel’s favorite Indian spiritual leaders, and Dr. Patel became very angry; very angry. Then afterwards, maybe Tamal Krishna Goswami, anyway, one of the devotees asked Srila Prabhupada that, “Why do you spend so much time with him? Why do you give so much importance to him when he always argues with you?” And Srila Prabhupada replied that we have to engage everyone.

Then one time, I felt Srila Prabhupada was addressing me. I was really suffering due to maya, and Srila Prabhupada quoted one verse:

bhavantam evānucaran nirantaraḥ
praśānta-niḥśeṣa-mano-rathāntaraḥ
kadāham aikāntika-nitya-kiṅkaraḥ
praharṣayiṣyāmi sanātha-jīvitam        [Cc Madhya-līlā 1.206]

He commented on the word sanātha. Natha means the master. And sanātha means with master, and anātha means without master. And in Indian language, anātha means orphan. So he was saying that the goal is to become sanātha, with master, and then he pointed to some of the dogs on the beach that some were anātha, they had no masters and they were very skinny and scrawny, dirty. They never knew where they would sleep. They never knew where they would get food. They were always in anxiety and wretched. And then, Srila Prabhupada pointed to one rich man; healthy man walking on the beach with one dog who was similarly very strong and healthy. And the dog was wagging his tail and walking very confidently. So Srila Prabhupada said that, “And see the dog that is sanātha. He has his master. He knows he has nothing to fear. He will get food. He will get shelter, and he is completely confident. And the dogs which are anātha, they are always in fear. Children can throw stones at them and sticks. They will have no shelter.”

Now as Srila Prabhupada was speaking, sometimes he was looking at me, and I was feeling just like anātha, that anyone could—like throwing sticks and stones—I had no protection, and I felt very miserable. And as Srila Prabhupada was speaking, and at times looking directly at me, I felt that he understood exactly my mind, and he was speaking exactly what I needed to hear to correct myself. And I felt that even though Srila Prabhupada didn’t address much to us, but whatever he said was full of significance, and so I felt protected that if I went off and even I couldn’t express myself to Srila Prabhupada, Srila Prabhupada would be able to understand my mind and say whatever I needed to hear. So it was wonderful.

Devotee: I am sure there are many, many more things you could tell us about those walks. You could tell us in your book.

[Break]

Devotee: I would like to call on His Holiness Giriraj Swami Maharaja.

[Prayers]

Giriraj Swami: Yesterday, His Holiness Satsvarupa dasa Swami Maharaja raised the question of separation, personal association and separation. And I thought of two experiences which I had. One just after I met Srila Prabhupada, and one just after Srila Prabhupada departed.

I first came to Srila Prabhupada in 1969, when he gave one lecture at Brandeis University, in Boston. Then every day, I would go to hear Srila Prabhupada speak. And by observing Srila Prabhupada, by trying the process of Krishna consciousness, by watching the devotees, I became convinced that Srila Prabhupada was perfect in every respect, and that the process that he gave was perfect, and the mission he established was perfect. I was completely satisfied.

Then after two weeks, Srila Prabhupada was to leave Boston to go to Ohio, and all of the devotees accompanied our Srila Prabhupada to the airport, and many of them were crying. So I thought that everything is perfect in Krishna consciousness, but here is the defect. The defect is that Srila Prabhupada cannot stay with us. He has to go. Whenever I had some question, I would ask the other devotees if I didn’t have the chance to ask Srila Prabhupada directly. So I asked one of the devotees at the airport about separation, that everyone was crying and Srila Prabhupada was leaving.

The devotee replied that Srila Prabhupada had said that on the absolute platform, there is no difference between meeting and separation; both are transcendental ecstasy. I heard the answer, but I was not fully convinced. Every day we used to do hari-nāma saṅkīrtana in different parts of Boston city, and after two or three days, we were chanting Hare Krishna in front of one subway station. And suddenly while chanting, some experience of Srila Prabhupada’s presence came over me, and I felt, definitely, that yes, Srila Prabhupada is present and everything he said is true. And everything about Krishna consciousness is perfect. Then we tried to serve for so many years.

[Break]

Devotees: Jaya! [Applause]

Devotee: On behalf of all the Vaishnava devotees assembled here, we would like to welcome His Holiness Param Puja Padam Bhakti Vaibhava Puri Gosvami Maharaja.

Devotees: Jaya! Haribol! [Applause]

Giriraj Swami: Then in Kartika of 1977, after our Srila Prabhupada departed, we were feeling so much separation and wondering how we will continue without him. Then in accordance with Srila Prabhupada’s last request, we took him in his deity form to Govardhana and did parikramā of Govardhana Hill. Finally, we came to Radha-kunda and the palanquin that was carrying the deity of Srila Prabhupada was brought on the path between Radha-kunda and Syama kuṇḍa. And the devotees were doing kirtan. And suddenly, I had the perception that Srila Prabhupada was still present, that the deity of Srila Prabhupada was actually Srila Prabhupada, himself, and that he was still with us, we were with him at Govardhana, and that he was as present as ever.

Now again, so many years have passed, and I see that I am not able to feel Srila Prabhupada’s presence the same way as I did when I had the experience a few days after he left Bombay or a few days after he left this world. If I could feel Srila Prabhupada’s presence, I would be very fortunate. And if I could feel separation from Srila Prabhupada, also I would be very lucky. But most of the time, I don’t feel either. And what to do? How to get Srila Prabhupada’s guidance?

So by Srila Prabhupada’s arrangement I was separated from India for some years, and then by his mercy, also I came back. And I realized that the best way that I can feel Srila Prabhupada’s presence and get Srila Prabhupada’s guidance is through the association of experienced devotees who know Srila Prabhupada’s will and who know Srila Prabhupada’s heart and who know Srila Prabhupada’s mission. And by associating with them and discussing with them, I slowly begin to understand what Prabhupada actually wanted of me. And if I can’t get the answer from any other way, or before trying any other way, I consult the devotees. And they are actually the ones who have sustained me in the physical absence of Srila Prabhupada.

So I know that Srila Prabhupada’s mercy is such that he has arranged the association of advanced devotees to help me. And I pray to Srila Prabhupada and to the devotees that they will continue to bless me with their association and their instructions. I am very slow to learn, and even after apparently learning I very quickly forget. So I pray to Srila Prabhupada and to the Vaishnavas not to give up on me even though I am slow and negligent, but to continue to give their mercy to me so that one day I can become free from anarthas and aparādha and all sorts of horrible things that are coming in the way of my relationship and my service to Srila Prabhupada.

I think of one verse by Krishnadasa Kavirāja Gosvami in Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta. He presents himself, actually, I think for us that, “I am blind and my path is very difficult. I am slipping and falling at every step, and so I pray to the saints, to the devotees, for their mercy that they give me the stick of their mercy so that I can continue on my path.”

Srila Prabhupada ki jaya.