Srila Prabhupada Nectar

Giriraj Swami:

READING from Prabhupāda Nectar

Daivisakti-devi dasi

Srila Prabhupada was often invited to attend programs in people’s homes. Sometimes, these people were very pious and became devotees by such contact with Srila Prabhupada. In some cases, they mainly wanted material blessings—health, and prosperity—in return for hosting a sadhu and his followers. On one occasion, Srila Prabhupada, along with twenty of his devotees, was sitting in a man’s living room, while the man introduced each member of his family.

“This is my wife,” said the man, and the wife came forward, bowing slightly and folding her palms. “This is my older son, and this is my daughter, and this is my younger son”—each came forward, said his name, while Prabhupada nodded genially. “This is the husband of my daughter,” the man continued, “and these are their children.” Each batch quickly appeared and exited. Finally, all the members had been introduced and had departed, momentarily leaving Srila Prabhupada alone in the room with his devotees. In a confidential aside, Srila Prabhupada spoke quietly to his disciples, “This is my sex life.”

Ramesvara Swami

Srila Prabhupada said that whenever a manuscript of his was printed and published as a book, he felt as if he had just conquered an empire, and so for his disciples, it was also an opportunity for intimate association, to be able to prepare his books for printing and to bring him an advance copy fresh from the printer.

When Volume Seven, Part Two of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam was printed, Srila Prabhupada was staying in the New York City ISKCON center. Ramesvara Swami and Radha-vallabha had gone to the airport and received the first two copies by special freight. It was about 2 a.m. when they returned to the temple. Eager to present the book to Srila Prabhupada, they took the elevator up to his room, on the eleventh floor. The light was on in his sitting room. Quietly opening his door, they found that he was not there. They went again into the hall and saw the light on in the bathroom. With child-like glee, barely controlling their laughter, they each hid a book behind their backs and waited, smiling, to present it to Prabhupada.

When Prabhupada came out, he saw them and said, “Oh, you are here?” He noticed they were holding something behind their back and trying to control their smiling. “You have something for me?” he said, perfectly reciprocating their mood. He then walked ahead into the sitting room, looked playfully over his shoulder, and invited them, “Come on!” When they handed Srila Prabhupada the books, he exclaimed, “Aaah!” and immediately took one and touched it to his head. He looked at the cover and then turned the book and looked at the back cover. He opened up the front page and read aloud the selected epithet verse. He went through the front matter page by page and then carefully looked at the pictures. Then Srila Prabhupada started reading the book aloud, from “Prahlada Pacifies the Lord with Prayers.” The joyful presentation party merged into the ecstasy of a Bhāgavatam reading by Srila Prabhupada. He read on for about forty minutes, seemingly oblivious to everything else.

Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

There were many inconveniences Prabhupada had to face due to old age and disease, but he was never affected in his pure Krishna consciousness. Even externally, he often refused to bow to the dictate of his maladies, variously diagnosed as diabetes, poor digestion, and many others. He or his followers would call for doctors periodically, but Srila Prabhupada rarely took their prescriptions or followed their diet regimes. He was not what you would call a good patient. When in New York an Indian allopathic doctor visited and gave Prabhupada medicine and antibiotics, Prabhupada was polite and agreeable, but his servant Hari Sauri, was doubtful. “Will you take your medicine?” he asked. Prabhupada patted the little pills on his desk and said, noncommittally, “We shall see.” He never took them.

Some of the devotees thought that Srila Prabhupada was seeing doctors just to engage them in devotional service. He rebelled against strictures in his diet even when he was quite ill. A Kaviraja in India ordered that Prabhupada shouldn’t eat rice, potatoes, sugar, and certain fruits. When he called his cook, Daivisakti, in Vrindavan and asked her to make panjab boli, a hot potato sabji, she dutifully reminded him, “But Prabhupada, you can’t eat potatoes.” He endured it for a few days and then overthrew the order.

He called for his old lunch of rice, dal, chapatis, and sabji. At that time another of his well-meaning servants, Upendra, intervened and tried to restrain him. “But Prabhupada, the doctors told you not to take all these things. You are going to get sick.” Prabhupada replied, “We are not doctor dasa, we are Krishna dasa.” So, from then on, he resumed his normal diet.

In Mayapur, his cook Palika dasi, attempted an even stricter discipline based on the instructions from a famous Kaviraja from Calcutta. In this case, Prabhupada was to follow an intricate schedule by which he would take pills and eat and drink only at certain hours. This was in 1977, when Prabhupada was so sick that he was rarely coming down to the temple to give classes or to go on morning walks.

One afternoon, a devotee named Anakadundubhi, unaware of the tight schedule of Prabhupada’s drinking and eating, brought Prabhupada a fresh coconut dob to drink, as usual. Although Prabhupada knew very well that he was not supposed to take anything at this time, he quietly accepted the dob and poured it into his cup. But just as he started to drink it, Palika came by and admonished him, “Srila Prabhupada, you’re not supposed to take anything.” Srila Prabhupada became defiant, “Who said?” he challenged, and immediately drank down the whole cup of juice, although it was usually his custom to sip it slowly. “All my life,” he said, “I have done whatever I wanted.”

Prabhupada said on raising children:

I understand you are now expecting a nice child for raising in Krishna consciousness. In this connection, you should avoid any spicy foods, so long the child is within the womb. So far, natural childbirth is concerned, natural delivery is possible if we keep ourselves naturally. Under the circumstances, the best thing is to consult a doctor as they usually do. And after all, Krishna is the ultimate Master, so if you keep the natural habits and depend on Krishna, then everything will be done nicely without any difficulty.

“Why should the parents not feel attachment for their children, that is natural. But our affection is not simply sentimental, we offer our children the highest opportunity to be trained up in Krishna consciousness very early so as to assure their success in this very life to go back to Godhead for sure. That is real affection, to make sure my child gets back to Godhead, and that is my real responsibility as a parent. And I have seen that gurukula offers this opportunity more than any other place anywhere. So, I think that you are an intelligent girl, and you can explain it to others in this way.”

Vicitravirya Dasa

When Shyamasundara dasa was in charge of ISKCON England, he bought very expensive crystal chandeliers. They cost three thousand pounds, and the devotees had to take them back because they couldn’t afford them.

On this occasion, Prabhupada was talking about the crystal chandeliers. He said, “This reminds me of a story of a nawab. Nawab means—rich one.” He has so much money, he doesn’t know what to do with it at all. One nawab had one servant cleaning a big, big crystal chandelier. So, as the servant was cleaning the chandelier, a crystal fell, and as it crashed down onto the marble floor, it made an unusual tinkling sound, which the nawab heard from his room.

The nawab came running out and asked, “What was that sound?” The servant was petrified and asked forgiveness. “I’m sorry,” he said. “When I was cleaning the chandelier, one of the precious crystals fell and shattered on the floor. I am very sorry.” The nawab said, “Oh, this is a very nice sound. Throw one more down.” So, the servant smashed another one onto the floor. “Very nice sound,” said the nawab. “Throw another one down.” And so, in this way, every single crystal of the chandelier was thrown and smashed on the ground. Because the nawab had so much money at his disposal, he could do anything he liked. “Similarly,” said Prabhupada, “Shyamasundara thinks he’s got so much money he can just throw it.”

COMMENT

Mahabuddhi dasa tells us the first time he met Srila Prabhupada. Few months ago, Mahabuddhi dasa came to Bombay. When? Janmashtami time.

READING (continued)

Mahabuddhi dasa tells of the first time he met Srila Prabhupada.

His name at that time was Randy, and he had long blonde hair. He was a football player at San Diego State University, a leader in student government, and a son of wealthy parents. He had been taking part in congregational kirtan in the Los Angeles temple when Srila Prabhupada’s secretary invited him to come upstairs to Srila Prabhupada’s room. Randy liked the idea, but when he entered Prabhupada’s quarters, he found himself the only guest in the small room. Srila Prabhupada was seated at his desk, surrounded by sannyasis and GBC disciples, none of whom knew Randy. While Randy was about to gather his wits about the situation, Prabhupada began to preach, looking straight at him, saying, “Why be a kripana?” What is a kripana? thought Randy, and Srila Prabhupada replied, “Kripana means—miser.”

Randy thought of his own family’s wealth, and how he and his parents had their own plans for using it. Prabhupada continued speaking of the kripana mentality, and by now, Randy had the direct impression that Prabhupada was speaking to his mind and defeating each of his defiant thoughts. It was like a conversation between Randy’s rebellious thoughts and Prabhupada’s smashing, spoken replies. “Because you have been given some ability, wealth, and opulence by Krishna,” said Prabhupada, looking to Randy, who sat against the wall, “therefore you should use it in Krishna’s service. If you use it only for your personal sense gratification, that’s simply miserly. If you do not take to Krishna consciousness, you will ruin your human form of life.”

Srila Prabhupada continued explaining the process of devotional service, and Randy managed to rescue some of his pride and defensiveness. He began to feel insulted that Prabhupada had called him a miser. Randy admitted to himself that Prabhupada seemed to have read his mind, but if Prabhupada was actually perfect, then he should know the future. In this way, Randy began to feel the return of his usual pride.

But as in response to his thoughts, Prabhupada suddenly called for the copy of the Twelfth Canto of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam and began reading aloud the predictions for degraded humanity in the coming age, the age of Kali. “Men will consider that to have long hair means they are beautiful,” said Srila Prabhupada. When Randy heard that, he began shaking. He felt stunned. He thought to himself, “He has completely defeated me.”

Little drops of nectar

Srutakirti Dasa

When Srila Prabhupada flew on planes, his servants carried his silver plates and served him full meals. His disciples usually cooked much more for his travels than he would eat. One time, Srila Prabhupada asked to eat just before the plane was to take off. The stewardesses were making preparations for departure, but Prabhupada’s servants brought him his prasādam, which had been recently cooked at the temple. Prabhupada sat alone, undisturbed, as the other passengers looked at him as they buckled their seat belts, and put their trays and seats in the upright position.

Somehow, the stewardesses did not insist on Prabhupada’s confirming, and so he continued calmly eating as the jet sped down the runway. His servant anxiously held onto the drinking cups while Prabhupada ate his meal with no notice or care for his surroundings. Only when the plane was high in the air did Prabhupada finish. Turning to his servant, he said, “All right, you can take these away now.”

Bahudak Dasa

At one of the ISKCON international festivals in Vrindavan, Srila Prabhupada rejected the singing of one of his disciples. The devotee had previously been a singer in a band, and his kirtans were much appreciated by some devotees, especially those from his home temple. But when, with his showy professionalism, he began leading the guru-puja in Prabhupada’s presence, making the tune sound like a rock’n’roll ballad, Prabhupada didn’t like it. He shook his head and indicated that someone else lead. The “great” kirtan singer was devastated by the rejection, another form of Prabhupada’s mercy.

Palika devi dasi

For a time in Mayapur, two Bengali ladies were cooking a large feast of about twenty-five preparations and sending it over to Srila Prabhupada at his mealtime. But he was eating very little of it. “I am eating with my eyes,” he laughed. He then described how in the old days in Bengal, aristocratic people would invite one another for meals. One would prepare a huge, sumptuous feast, and another would come and appreciate how it was cooked and arranged so nicely. The guest would merely look at the feast and say, “Oh, very nicely done.” Then all the servants would actually eat it.

Radhanath Swami

Srila Prabhupada regularly gave out cookies from the vyāsāsana, but on a visit to New Vrindavan, he once gave out an entire meal of prasādam, right off the Deities’ plate. Radhanath dasa had a strong desire to approach Srila Prabhupada with the Deities plate immediately after offering it to Radha-Vrindavanacandra, so he rather boldly approached Srila Prabhupada on the vyāsāsana. At first, he had been stopped by Srila Prabhupada’s secretary, Pushta Krishna, who asked, “Where are the cookies?” Radhanath said they had none, only this full Deity plate. “Forget it,” said Pushta Krishna. “You can’t give out that kind of stuff.” But Radhanath managed to approach Prabhupada from a different direction.

When Srila Prabhupada saw the plate, he smiled, took it up, and began sampling each preparation with a spoon. He took a spoonful of sweet rice, tasted it, and then began handing out spoonfuls. Over a hundred devotees were present and they rushed forward, unlike the usual, formal line for receiving a cookie. Prabhupada went from preparation to preparation, eating a few spoonfuls of sabji and then distributing it to the urgent, outstretched hands of the surrounding devotees. After finishing each preparation, he also gave away the silver bowl.

Finally, all that was left were two large gulābjāmuns. Children began to cry out, “Prabhupada, give it to me!” Then the adults, “Prabhupada, give it to me!” Srila Prabhupada took his time, and at last, he shook his head no. He took the gulābjāmun up himself and bit into it. At the first bite, the gulābjāmun juice squirted out, wetting several nearby devotees, who began dancing and shouting. After two bites, Srila Prabhupada gave out the remnants of the gulābjāmun. His first bite of the second gulābjāmun also produced a stream of juice, and by now, the whole temple room was turned into a state of happy pandemonium. The whole episode lasted about fifteen minutes and Srila Prabhupada was obviously in great enjoyment, laughing and watching everyone trying to get the mahā-prasādam from his hand.

Yadubara dasa

When Srila Prabhupada first went back to India with his American disciples, he sometimes took them on tours of holy places in Vrindavan and Mayapur. One day, Prabhupada was to go with a few devotees in an old American Dodge automobile to visit Devnagar, the birthplace of Bhaktivinoda Thakura. Prabhupada rode in the front seat with the driver, Shyamasundara dasa, and about four other devotees squeezed in the back seat. They soon discovered, unfortunately, that the old Dodge didn’t have a horn. Driving in India without a horn is almost impossible, and the journey was an anticipated two hours. Srila Prabhupada was therefore concerned how they would be able to make it.

But soon after they had started, Prabhupada devised a “horn” of his own making. He found a metal plate in the car. Then he had the car stop and the boys got him a stick off the ground. Then as they rode along, Prabhupada would hold the plate outside of the car window and bang on it with the stick whenever there was need of a horn for passing cars and for shooing people and animals from the road. The devotees were amazed and overjoyed at the simple display of Prabhupada’s horn, which he continued to operate from the front seat during the whole journey. “This will be copied by the Indians,” said Srila Prabhupada. “They will think that it is a new American invention. They will also get plates and sticks and use them instead of the horn.”

Tejas dasa

When his godbrothers saw that Tejas dasa and his wife were sometimes quarreling, they suggested that he should ask Prabhupada to allow him to take sannyasa. They said it would better enable him to preach. Tejas admittedly thought that his marriage was difficult, and so he resolved to ask Srila Prabhupada at the next opportunity. In those days in India, it was not at all difficult for the devotees to approach Srila Prabhupada in the privacy of his room and ask him such personal questions.

Finding Prabhupada alone one evening, Tejas approached him. “So, what do you want?” asked Prabhupada in his typically direct manner. “I want to take sannyasa, Prabhupada.” Just at that moment, before Prabhupada gave an answer, his servant brought him his evening prasādam, some vegetables and fruits. “Take some prasādam,” said Prabhupada, and he put a piece into Tejas’ hand. Then Prabhupada gave him more and more, until it was falling out of his disciple’s hand. Tejas put out his other hand and Prabhupada filled that one up also.

While Tejas became preoccupied in balancing all the prasādam in his two hands, Prabhupada asked, “Why do you want to take sannyasa?” “For preaching, Prabhupada.” “But that you’re already doing,” he said. “Prabhupada,” Tejas said, “having family life is full of hindrances.” “But your wife is very nice,” Prabhupada objected. “She is cooperative. She is expert at Deity worship, she plays mridanga nicely, and harmonium. She is a nice girl. Why do you want to take sannyasa?” Tejas replied, “Prabhupada, because married life is very dangerous.” Prabhupada replied, “Married life dangerous? I don’t see any danger. You tell me what is the danger.” Tejas could see the drift of Prabhupada’s instruction. He thought, If the spiritual master says there is no danger. . . Tejas no longer felt up to arguing, and Prabhupada changed the subject to the practical preaching matters in India.

Pancadravida Swami

Madhudvisha dasa had been the president in Bombay ISKCON, but to Prabhupada, he expressed his dissatisfaction, particularly in working with the Indians. He wanted another preaching field. He said that he considered the Indians to be very sneaky and tricky, and he didn’t like dealing with them. Prabhupada said, “I am an Indian. Do you think I am very tricky?” “No, not you, Srila Prabhupada,” said Madhudvisha. “Actually, I am tricky,” said Srila Prabhupada, “because I have tricked all of you into surrendering to Krishna, and now you are caught and you cannot get away.”

Pancadravida Swami endured a serious bout of boils in India. The doctor said that he had come close to dying and he had had to perform a surgery on his back. But Pancadravida described his diseased condition to Srila Prabhupada, Prabhupada looked at him and said, “These diseases are simply imaginary.” “No, Srila Prabhupada, I really have them,” said Pancadravida. He thought that Prabhupada was saying that the boils were all in his mind. He therefore showed Prabhupada a big scar that he had on his back from the surgery. Prabhupada touched the scar with his fingers and said nothing further. Soon thereafter, in Bhāgavatam class, Srila Prabhupada was describing how the suffering of all living entities are imaginary, created by identification with the material body. Hearing this, Pancadravida realized the import of Srila Prabhupada’s previous words. Yes, in the absolute sense, even the attack of boils was imaginary.

Pancadravida Swami

Srila Prabhupada sometimes traveled throughout India by train, accompanied by his disciples. On one occasion, the train stopped in a field full of purple flowers. One of the devotees climbed down, ran into the field, picked some flowers, and ran back to Prabhupada’s car just as the train started to leave. Then the devotees brought Prabhupada a bouquet of purple flowers as an offering of devotion. Srila Prabhupada calmly accepted them but said, “Lord Shiva wears these flowers.” The devotees were afraid that they had made some guru-aparādha, but Prabhupada smiled and stuck one flower behind each of his ears. He widened his eyes and made a large grin, “See?” playing as if he were Lord Shiva with the purple flowers in his hair.

COMMENT

Last item, Prabhupada tells a story.

READING (continued)

Satsvarupa dasa Goswami

When Prabhupada’s edition of Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā, Volume One, was first published, devotees were surprised and pleased to read about the humorous joking between Lord Nityananda and Advaita Acharya during the taking of prasādam at Advaita Acharya’s house. One morning, during a car ride with Srila Prabhupada, one of the devotees expressed his appreciation for the new volume. “There is such nice humor in the Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Srila Prabhupada.” “Yes,” said Srila Prabhupada, “spiritual life is humor also.” Then he began to tell a story.

“Krishna said to one old lady, ‘You are so ugly, you should marry a monkey.’ ‘No,’ said the old lady, ‘I have given up all material desires. I will marry You, Krishna!’ ‘Yes! Yes! Yes!’ All the gopīs and boys clapped and laughed.” While Srila Prabhupada said this, his eyes lit up and he became very animated, laughing at the humorous pastimes of Krishna. “So, Krishna was defeated,” said Prabhupada, “by that laughing of the gopīs.”

COMMENT

So, as I was reading, two or three incidents came to mind. We read how when Srila Prabhupada received the new volume of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Canto Seven, Volume Two, he became so enlivened that he read it for about forty minutes. So once, we were in Amritsar with Srila Prabhupada. We had been in Bombay, and one Bombay life member, named Hare Krishna dasa Agarwal, invited Srila Prabhupada to go with some disciples to Amritsar, to attend the Vedanta Sammelan. So, Srila Prabhupada and the party of devotees went. And Srila Prabhupada received so many invitations, every day, he received so many invitations to go to people’s houses, preach, take prasāda, go to temples, have darshan, preach, and everything.

So, the schedule became very difficult for the devotees to maintain after some days, and they felt that they did not have enough time to wash their clothes, to chant their rounds, and to take care of their personal needs, materially and spiritually. So, on behalf of the other devotees, I went to Srila Prabhupada and told him about the devotees’ difficulties. So, Srila Prabhupada said, “All right. From now on, we will only accept two programs per day.” But as time went on, more and more invitations were coming, and Srila Prabhupada was going to be leaving Amritsar soon. So, one day, he broke the rule and he accepted seven invitations, and he was just going from one place to another.

And sometimes the host would arrange a car to bring Srila Prabhupada, while the devotees would have to go on rickshaws, usually cycle rickshaws. So, we would often reach the place after Srila Prabhupada had arrived. So, by about the fifth program, we had fallen quite a bit behind Srila Prabhupada. So, we got to one temple in the water, not the golden temple, the Hindu temple, it has Radha-Krishna Deities also. Yes, it has many Deities.

So, we got there almost when Srila Prabhupada was about to leave, he was just finishing darshan before the Deities, there were so many Deities, and then he left. So, he got into the car and went to the next place, and then we got in the rickshaws and we followed behind. So, finally, the last program was in a small hall, and we could understand that the people there were very pious, very devoted. Because Srila Prabhupada began to speak to them in a very personal way, in a very intimate way, about Krishna in Vrindavan, which he did not usually discuss. And he was quoting verses from Brahma-saṁhitā about the spiritual world, about the Goloka-Vrindavan.

And even though Srila Prabhupada was speaking in Hindi, and we were new in India and didn’t know Hindi, but somehow, Srila Prabhupada’s mood or devotion made us understand what he was saying even though we didn’t know the language. It was a very sweet meeting. And then, after the seventh and last program, Srila Prabhupada returned to the ashram where we were staying. And by the time we got back, we thought Srila Prabhupada would be taking rest, but we saw the light was still on. So, we snuck up to the windows to Srila Prabhupada’s room and peeked in the windows to see what Srila Prabhupada was doing. It was after eleven o’clock at night, after so many programs.

And there we saw Srila Prabhupada sitting behind his table, listening to the tape recordings of the last lecture he gave. And we knew that when Srila Prabhupada spoke, actually, he wasn’t speaking but Krishna was speaking. So, we saw that Srila Prabhupada was sitting back and listening to Krishna speaking about Krishna.

“Respected Maharaja, last time, you promised that you will describe how you came to ISKCON. That special nectar is still due.”

Did I promise that? I did? I don’t remember. Well, I will tell very briefly because the whole story takes a long time. But I was a student at Brandeis University in Boston, and on the university campus, there was some posters ‘Swami Bhaktivedanta speaks Bhagavad-gītā As It Is, such and such auditorium, such and such time.’ So, at the time, I was very anxious to find a guru because I was looking for perfection, and I understood I needed a guru. And whenever I heard that any swami or yogi had come, I would go, even if he was hundreds of miles away. So, somehow, all the other swamis and yogis had long hair and beards, and the poster had a picture of Srila Prabhupada with shaven head. So, I wasn’t quite sure what it all meant.

Anyway, that night, I was supposed to go to the movies, and somehow, the thought kept coming in my mind that I should go to the campus and hear the lecture. So, my friends really got upset, “You’re always going to swamis and yogis. Why can’t you be normal like everyone else? What’s wrong with you?” And I really wanted to please my friend but something in my heart just kept forcing me, it was beyond my control, I had to go. So, finally, I just couldn’t resist anymore, I had to go. So, I said, “Okay, this will be the last one I ever go to.”

So, I went to the campus and entered the auditorium, and Srila Prabhupada was sitting in the center of the stage. And Satsvarupa Maharaja was sitting in the corner with a microphone, leading the kirtan, and devotees were dancing in a circle around Srila Prabhupada. So, I became very. . . chanting and dancing. So, I also felt like joining, but considering how upset my friends already were, I thought, If I jumped up on the stage, they would really get upset. So, I controlled myself and I stayed in my seat.

Then, at the end of the program, one of the devotees announced that, “If anyone is driving to Cambridge or Boston, they should give the devotees a lift” because the devotees had no means of transportation. So, I was going to Harvard Square to see the movie. And I had a red Rambler station wagon. So, I said, “I can take some devotees.” So, after the program, all the devotees piled into the car, I don’t even know how many there were. But I remember Satsvarupa Maharaja was in the back compartment. He was not a sannyasi then, and he was having an argument with my friend named Gary. And we were, although we were just in spiritual life, but we were influenced by impersonalism because outside of Krishna consciousness, almost everyone is impersonal.

So, my friend was saying that, “Ultimately, everything is void.” And Satsvarupa Maharaja was saying that, “There is no void anywhere in the creation of God.” So, they were arguing back and forth. So, I was sitting in the front seat driving, and I thought I was very intelligent, so I thought I could solve the whole debate. So, I said, “It is not void, and it is not not void. But to give it a name, we call it void.” [laughter] But they weren’t satisfied and they kept arguing.

So, there was one lady devotee towards the front, named Jahnava. So, I had come to the stage of being interested in Zen Buddhism. So, I asked Jahnava about Zen Buddhism, and she was quite amazing. She gave an example or an analogy to explain Zen Buddhism, which explained it better than any Zen master.

She said that, “Life is just like a movie on a screen and it consists of so many images. But actually, the images have no substance. And if you draw your consciousness back from the images on a screen, you will see there is a light. And if you follow the light back further, it comes from a point. But behind the point, there is a machine. And behind the machine is a person who operates the machine.” So, I was very impressed because her answer included a perfect description of Zen theory, but it was beyond the Zen theory and revealed something more.

Then, I had also been reading ‘Autobiography of a Yogi.’ So, I asked her about Yogananda. So, Jahnava replied, “Oh, Yogananda, he is just a shopkeeper. Whatever you want, he keeps in stock. If you want yoga, he will give you yoga. If you want this, he will give you that. If you want that, he will give you this.” And then she said, “In his ashram, if you go to his ashram, he has a statue of Mahatma Gandhi, and the statue has inscribed something like, ‘worker for world peace.’ But he didn’t work for world peace, he just worked to drive the British out of India.” So, her answers were so bold and so direct. And I knew that the answers couldn’t be coming from her, they must be coming from somewhere else and that’s why she could speak with such conviction.

So, like this, we were talking until we got to Harvard Square. And at Harvard Square, I stopped the car to let the devotees out. But after the devotees had got out of the car, I realized I did not know where they were, or how to contact them. So, I parked the car on the side of the road and ran out after the devotees. So, the last one who was slower than the others was named Patita Pavana dasa. So, I approached Patita Pavana dasa, and he looked very deep, very grave. So, he started to preach. Actually, all the devotees were preaching, I didn’t mention but anytime I had any interaction with any devotee, they would start to preach.

So, immediately, Patita Pavana began to preach, and he was looking at all the people on the street and moving his hand and said, “They are all like sleep walkers. They’re all asleep. They don’t know who they are or what they are doing, they’re just following the person in front of them.” So, he said a few things, and my consciousness was completely absorbed in his words, and also looking at his face, and I was oblivious to everything else. And suddenly, my consciousness came back to the world, and I heard so many cars lined up behind my parked car, pressing their horn, and I realized, “Oh my God! I have created a huge traffic jam, and I did not even get the address yet.” So, I asked him to quickly write down the address, and I said I would come the next night.

So, the next night, I went, and it was a small store front, much smaller than this hall, maybe half the size. And Srila Prabhupada was sitting on the vyāsāsana speaking. But his Indian accent was very thick at the time, and I couldn’t follow very easily what he was saying. And of course, the subject was also completely different, I wasn’t familiar with the subject either. But at one point, he quoted one verse, manuṣyāṇāṁ sahasreṣu kaścid yatati siddhaye, that out of many thousands and thousands of persons, one will seek perfection. So, when Srila Prabhupada uttered those words, I heard them and I thought, Yes, he is talking about me. Yes, it’s true, I’m one of those.

So, anyway, at the end of the lecture, he asked for questions, and somebody else asked the first question, “Everything comes from Krishna, so maya also comes from Krishna. So, how can maya cover Krishna?” So, Srila Prabhupada replied, “Yes, everything comes from Krishna. Just like in the universe, everything comes from the sun. So, the cloud also comes from the sun, but the cloud also covers the sun. The cloud does not actually cover the sun, but it covers our vision of the sun. So, maya is like a cloud, which is produced from the sun of Krishna, but maya never covers Krishna, but maya can cover us so we cannot see Krishna.”

Then, I asked my question, which was the question for me to ask, “There are so many swamis and yogis and each one recommends a different process of self-realization, and each one says that his process is better. So, how do I know which is actually the best?” Srila Prabhupada replied, “What is your goal? Do you want to become God, or do you want to serve God? If you want to become God, then you are not God now, and how can not God become God?” He said, “God is God. He’s always God, He doesn’t have to become God by practicing yoga or meditation.” He said, “Krishna is always God. He’s God when He’s playing on the lap of Mother Yasoda, He is God when He’s speaking Bhagavad-gītā to Arjuna. He’s always God, He never has to become God by yoga or meditation.”

So, he said, “You can become godly, but you cannot become God. And if you take this seed of devotion and sow it and water it by chanting Hare Krishna, God will give the sunlight and fresh air and all the other elements necessary to make the plant grow. But if you want to become God, why should God help the competition? God is in you, He is in your heart, He is ready to help you. But if you want to become God, you’re only cheating yourself. You can become godly, but you cannot become God.”

At the end, Srila Prabhupada asked, “So, what do you think? You want to become God, or you want to serve God?” So, at the time, I perceived that Srila Prabhupada knew everything about me, he was looking right into me. He was seeing through the town where I stayed, into the apartment, into my room, and on the wall where I had written in very ornate letters in my own hand, a sign YOU ARE GOD. So, I felt Srila Prabhupada was looking right at the sign and he knew everything.

So, he said, “What do you think? You want to become God, or you want to serve God?” So, I was embarrassed, so I wanted to say that I want to serve God, I began to say I want to serve God, but I knew that Srila Prabhupada knew that I couldn’t cheat him. So, I said, “I want to serve God. But actually, I realized I wanted to become God.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “Yes.” Then I knew he was my spiritual master and I surrendered, I offered obeisances. And I kept my head down for a long time. At first, in the mood of surrender, but then because I felt very ashamed and embarrassed, I thought that everyone knew now, I was exposed. Everyone knew that I wanted to become God, I felt very ashamed and embarrassed, and I was afraid to end my obeisances because I thought if I sat up and looked around, everyone would be glaring at me, “Oh, You wanted to be God, you wanted to be God, you wanted to be God.” So, I kept my head down for a long time.

Then, a feast was being served, I think maybe there were initiations that night. Anyway, a feast was being served, so I started to hear sounds that the devotees were sitting, talking amongst themselves, and getting ready to honor prasāda. So, I thought, Their attention won’t be so intensely focused on me, so it may be safe to come up from my obeisances. So, I sat up, and nobody was looking at me, maybe one or two looked at me, but they did not seem to be angry or anything.

So then, one of the devotees brought the prasāda, brought a paper plate with the prasāda. So, I started to taste the prasāda, and I never had any experience like it. I don’t know, but I think maybe the first was a cauliflower pakora. I put it in my mouth, and it just exploded with transcendental taste. I never tasted anything like that. And each preparation was unique, and I thought, This is not ordinary. Nothing was ordinary. The chanting was not ordinary, the prasāda was not ordinary, the devotees were not ordinary. And everyone was nice, nobody said anything, they seemed to be quite friendly. And then, at the end was a little ārati, and I had never seen Deities before. There were little brass Radha-Krishna Deities. Well, I didn’t know how to relate to the Deities, but still, the kirtan, the devotees, the mood, it was all very wonderful. So, I was quite satisfied that I found my spiritual master and this is where I should be.

So, the devotees had no car. I mean, they were very poor, in the beginning, they were very poor, they all had holes in their socks. I actually thought it was part of Krishna consciousness, that they took a vow of poverty. And the plates and utensils they had were old, beat up. I think whatever anyone gave them, they just used. So, they were very poor. And I had a car, so I offered that I can drive the devotees to the programs. And at every alternate night, Srila Prabhupada would speak in the temple, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. And every second night, he would have an outside program, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. And then the Sunday Feast. So, I would drive them.

Then, one night, we got back from the program very late, and I thought, It’s so late, I won’t go back to my flat. So, I spent the night with the devotees. Besides the store front where the hall was, there was a kitchen behind the hall, and then underneath was a basement, and there was a tap there. There was no real plumbing for residential purposes, but there was a tap and a sink. And the devotees had got a bath tub from a junkyard, and they had propped it on cinder blocks, and then they ran a hose from the sink into the bathtub. And I don’t know where the water went, maybe they collected it in buckets and took it out. And we would just put the hose on us with freezing cold water.

So, anyway. The first night, I slept in the temple. When I woke up, I noticed something very special. Because in the different types of yoga and meditation, which I was trying to practice before I met Srila Prabhupada, part of which was to relax all the muscles of the body. So, we would consciously try to relax the muscles. And we might relax some, but then the others wouldn’t be relaxed. But when I woke up the next morning, I noticed that every muscle in my body was completely relaxed. So, then, I kept seeing that, as Prabhupada said, “Whatever result you can achieve from any other process, you can achieve more easily and more happily in Krishna consciousness.” So then, everything was very wonderful.

But then, one day came, maybe ten days later, when Srila Prabhupada was going to leave. And so, I went with the devotees to the airport to see Srila Prabhupada off. But at the airport, I saw that almost all the devotees were crying. So then, I had some doubt that, “So far, everything about Krishna consciousness has been perfect, but maybe this is the one defect, that Srila Prabhupada wasn’t there all the time.” So, I asked one of the lady devotees, who I sometimes asked my questions to, named Arundhati, “Why are all the devotees crying?” So, she said that Srila Prabhupada had instructed them that in the absolute world, there is no difference between meeting and separation, both are transcendental ecstasy.

So, the answer sounded right, and the philosophy was perfect. But still, I had some doubt whether it was actually practical or not. So, the plane took off, and the devotees stayed, they didn’t leave. And then, they said that Srila Prabhupada had instructed them that when the spiritual master leaves, the devotees should watch the plane go into the sky until it disappears in the sky, just like the gopīs watched the chariot of Krishna when he left Vrindavan until it disappeared in the distance.

So, we all went back to the temple, and by then, I was staying in the temple. But we were going out on hari-nāma-saṅkīrtana every day for some hours, but still, there were some doubt whether it would be the same after Srila Prabhupada left. So, after two or three days, we were doing hari-nāma-saṅkīrtana, and we stopped in front of one subway station, and we were chanting. And suddenly, I started to feel as if Srila Prabhupada was there. Actually, I knew that yes, he’s definitely there, I could feel his presence and I knew he was there. And then, I realized that what the devotee had said was true, that in the absolute world, there is no difference between meeting and separation. And then, I felt convinced that yes, everything about Krishna consciousness is perfect.

So then, things went on, but after about a year and a half of preaching in America and to some extent in Europe, Srila Prabhupada decided to go back to India, and he wanted some disciples to accompany him. So, each temple president was supposed to send the best devotee to go. So, somehow, Satsvarupa chose me, and similarly, one from New York, one from Los Angeles, one from San Francisco, and we came to India. Actually, at the time, I had the feeling that Lord Jagannatha, because we had Deities of Lord Jagannatha in Boston, that Lord Jagannatha was sending me, but I didn’t say anything. But then, the day I left, before I left, the head pujari said that she had the impression that Lord Jagannatha was sending me to India.

Anyway, I came, and many years later, actually, maybe in 1978, after Srila Prabhupada left, one devotee from Nepean Sea Road [Unintelligible 01:11:25] in Bombay went to Jagannatha Puri and brought back some little Jagannatha Deities for me. And I didn’t know what to do because I never did any personal worship. But anyway, I thought, Lord Jagannatha has come, so I should keep Him on my shelf. So, I did. But I would look at Him, and He would look at me, and I kept thinking, I just can’t keep going on like this, I have to do something for Him. It seemed like He was demanding that I do something, but I couldn’t think what. Then finally. I understood, we have to do Ratha-yatra.

So, that year, we had the first Ratha-yatra in Bombay. And the festival was so wonderful that the devotees thought, Why should we stop here? We should go to other places and do it. So then, we discussed where to go, then someone suggested we could go to Pune, because Pune was a nice city and very near to Bombay. So, right then and there, right at the Ratha-yatra festival site at Chowpatty, we decided that yes, immediately, we will go to Pune and have Ratha-yatra there. So, an advanced party came, and they chose this festival site, made a route, and so on.

But at the time, Rajneesh was very famous in Pune, and he was always making very sensational statements, which the press would publish in the newspapers. And he didn’t spare anyone or anything. So, the newspapers were always anxious to get some sensational story. So, they asked him, “The Hare Krishna devotees have come here to do Ratha-yatra. What do you think of them?” So, he immediately began blaspheming, “Oh, Swami Bhaktivedanta is just misleading them, they don’t know anything, they have no knowledge.” And then they would come to our devotees and say, “Rajneesh said this. Now, what do you have to say?” And they would say what they had to say. So, every day, it was coming in the newspaper, and it was escalating.

Actually, what I said about Prabhupada didn’t come in the beginning, it came towards the end. And when he started to blaspheme Srila Prabhupada, he became ill. He became so ill that he had to stop speaking. And it was reported that his skin was burning. And he couldn’t take the heat, and he had to spend the whole day in the basement of one of the buildings to avoid the heat because he felt like he was burning. Then finally, his disciples decided that he should leave Pune because Pune was too hot, and they would go to some hill station or some place.

So, there’s also some background to this. Because actually, I don’t know how much you know about what used to happen at Rajneesh’s ashram, but many things used to happen. And when some of the men from Bombay started to come to the ashram in Pune, the ladies got very upset that their husbands were going to Rajneesh’s and enjoying. So, we started to get many complaints. I remember one very respectable lady from the Juhu scheme phoned and said that her husband was going every weekend to Pune, and their family was being spoiled, and we should try to do something. So, someone came to Srila Prabhupada and complained about Rajneesh, and Srila Prabhupada said, “Don’t worry, I will personally go to Pune and drive him out.”

So, when we were there for Ratha-yatra and we got the news that his body was burning and he was going to leave Pune to find some colder place, we thought that Srila Prabhupada fulfilled his promise. Then, they tried to sell the ashram to us. We went, but we felt that it was too contaminated, it was too polluted. And then we found that there were many legal complications and regularities, so we did not want to take it.

So, that is how by the mercy of Lord Jagannatha, I came to India, and then to Pune. And here I am now.

Devotees: Haribol!

Giriraj Swami: Jagannatha, Baladeva, Subhadra ki jaya! Srila Prabhupada ki jaya! Nitai Gaura premānande Hari Haribol! Nitai Gaura premānande Hari Haribol! Nitai Gaura premānande Hari Haribol!

Devotees: His Holiness Giriraj Swami Maharaja ki jaya!

Giriraj Swami: His holiness Radhanath Swami Maharaja ki jaya! gaura-bhakta-vṛnda ki jaya!

I would like to lead a little kirtan. Kesava Bharati Prabhu? Well, can you do it short? [laughter]

Kesava Bharati Prabhu: [Unintelligible 01:18:13]

Giriraj Swami: Yes, it’s very late, and it is Ekādaśī, we’re supposed to stay up all night.

Kesava Bharati Prabhu: Yeah, that’s true.

Giriraj Swami: But when we were in Amritsar, Nectar of Devotion had just come out. And when we were in Amritsar, Mother Jamuna asked Srila Prabhupada, “The Nectar of Devotion says that on Ekādaśī, devotees fast completely and they stay up all day and all night, chanting and hearing the glories of the Lord.” So, she asked if we should also do that, and Srila Prabhupada said, “No, we have too many other duties.”