SB 10.9.19 – Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day

Giriraj Swami: A verse which has some special significance for me, in relation to Srila Prabhupada’s disappearance. So even though the connection may not be apparent at first, there is a connection.

oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya
oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya
oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya

Reading from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam Canto Ten, Chapter Nine, “Mother Yasoda Binds Lord Krishna”

TEXT 19

evaṁ sandarśitā hy aṅga
hariṇā bhṛtya-vaśyatā
sva-vaśenāpi kṛṣṇena
yasyedaṁ seśvaraṁ vaśe

TRANSLATION

O Mahārāja Parīkṣit, this entire universe, with its great, exalted demigods like Lord Śiva, Lord Brahmā and Lord Indra, is under the control of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Yet the Supreme Lord has one transcendental attribute: He comes under the control of His devotees. This was now exhibited by Kṛṣṇa in this pastime.

PURPORT by Srila Prabhupada

This pastime of Kṛṣṇa’s is very difficult to understand, but devotees can understand it. It is therefore said, darśayaṁs tad-vidāṁ loka ātmano bhakta-vaśyatām (Bhāg. 10.11.9): the Lord displays the transcendental attribute of coming under the control of His devotees. As stated in the Brahma-saṁhitā (5.35):

eko ’py asau racayituṁ jagad-aṇḍa-koṭiṁ
yac-chaktir asti jagad-aṇḍa-cayā yad-antaḥ
aṇḍāntara-stha-paramāṇu-cayāntara-sthaṁ
govindam ādi-puruṣaṁ tam ahaṁ bhajāmi

By His one plenary portion as Paramātmā, the Lord controls innumerable universes, with all their demigods; yet He agrees to be controlled by a devotee. In the Upaniṣads it is said that the Supreme Personality of Godhead can run with more speed than the mind, but here we see that although Kṛṣṇa wanted to avoid being arrested by His mother, He was finally defeated, and mother Yaśodā captured Him. Lakṣmī-sahasra-śata-sambhrama-sevyamānam: Kṛṣṇa is served by hundreds and thousands of goddesses of fortune. Nonetheless, He steals butter like one who is poverty-stricken. Yamarāja, the controller of all living entities, fears the order of Kṛṣṇa, yet Kṛṣṇa is afraid of His mother’s stick. These contradictions cannot be understood by one who is not a devotee, but a devotee can understand how powerful is unalloyed devotional service to Kṛṣṇa; it is so powerful that Kṛṣṇa can be controlled by an unalloyed devotee. This bhṛtya-vaśyatā does not mean that He is under the control of the servant; rather, He is under the control of the servant’s pure love. In Bhagavad-gītā (1.21) it is said that Kṛṣṇa became the chariot driver of Arjuna. Arjuna ordered Him, senayor ubhayor madhye rathaṁ sthāpaya me ’cyuta: “My dear Kṛṣṇa, You have agreed to be my charioteer and to execute my orders. Place my chariot between the two armies of soldiers.” Kṛṣṇa immediately executed this order, and therefore one may argue that Kṛṣṇa also is not independent. But this is one’s ajñāna, ignorance. Kṛṣṇa is always fully independent; when He becomes subordinate to His devotees, this is a display of ānanda-cinmaya-rasa, the humor of transcendental qualities that increases His transcendental pleasure. Everyone worships Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and therefore He sometimes desires to be controlled by someone else. Such a controller can be no one else but a pure devotee.

COMMENT

We have all gathered to remember Srila Prabhupada and to express our love and appreciation for him. Srila Prabhupada said that when a Vaishnava leaves, the devotees feel both happy and sad. They feel happy because the Vaishnava has gone to Krishna, but they feel sad because they will miss the Vaishnava’s association. We also, all have the experience of sometimes feeling Srila Prabhupada’s presence even in separation, and sometimes we feel Srila Prabhupada’s separation in separation. Today, we are feeling more of the separation in separation. And I thought of one quality of Srila Prabhupada’s that struck me the most today, and that was Srila Prabhupada’s own quality of coming under the control of his devotees. Lord Krishna has unlimited transcendental attractive qualities, but the most sublime quality of Krishna is that He comes under the control of His devotees. There are so many beautiful prayers by devotees to Lord Krishna in which they express their appreciation and gratitude and love for Him, because of His quality of coming under the control of His devotees. Like Uddhava prayed to Lord Krishna that who could be a better master than you. Even though Putana came with poison smeared on her breast to kill You, still You saw the good in her that she came to serve You like a mother. And therefore while sucking out her life heir, along with her milk, You also elevated her to the position of mother in the spiritual world. So who could be a more merciful and magnanimous master? How could I ever accept anyone else as my master? And You, Lord Krishna, and the same applies to Srila Prabhupada, even though you are full and complete within yourself, and of course in the case of Srila Prabhupada in his relationship with Krishna, still you are so kind that you agree to be controlled by your devotees, or actually by your devotees’ love.

Now can we really make such a statement about Srila Prabhupada who was our spiritual master in relation to us who were his obedient servants. So, coming here today and thinking about the pastime of Lord Damodara, I also remembered Srila Prabhupada’s last pastimes in Vrindavan. Just in the last days of Srila Prabhupada’s stay with us, Srila Prabhupada expressed his desire to go to Govardhana to celebrate Govardhana-puja with the other residents of Vrindavan. And he wanted to make the journey to Govardhana in a bullock cart and spend the night camped at Govardhana Hill.

As soon as Srila Prabhupada expressed his desire, the disciples became divided in two opinions. One opinion was that Srila Prabhupada’s condition was too delicate and fragile, and that he could never make the journey, that he would definitely give up his life on the way. And the other opinion was that Srila Prabhupada is our spiritual master. We cannot understand the mind of the spiritual master, our duty is simply to obey the instructions of the spiritual master, without question, with faith.

So. Srila Prabhupada by then, was just lying on his bed. He had no power even to sit up, what to speak of move. So he just lay on his bed and as he often did throughout his time with us up until the end, he asked us for our opinions. And different devotees, different opinions. But Srila Prabhupada remained adamant that he wanted to go in a bullock cart to Govardhana Hill, and he called for His Holiness Lokanatha Swami who had experience with bullock carts and told him to arrange. I believe he spoke to His Holiness Trivikrama Swami and asked him to go perhaps to Mathura to arrange to rent the bullock cart, and then Lokanatha Swami would manage the use of the cart.

But after the discussion in Srila Prabhupada’s room, the other devotees who felt that Srila Prabhupada was too sick to travel were very upset. They were very upset and they could not tolerate the idea of Srila Prabhupada having to, in his delicate condition. . . He practically had no flesh on his body because he was just drinking a little juice every day and he had no protection for his body. And even if the devotees put mattresses in the bullock cart, still Srila Prabhupada’s condition was so delicate that he would bound to be jostled by the movement of the cart, and he would be bound to feel pain, and the devotees felt he would just leave his body. So they were just adamant from their side, and I myself was sort of confused. I didn’t really know what was the right conclusion, but I saw that the feelings were very strong on both sides. And the devotees who felt that Prabhupada was too sick to travel, were not just going to let the other devotees take Srila Prabhupada on the bullock cart.

Well, there were only one or two days before Govardhana-puja at the time, and as the day of Govardhana-puja drew closer, the devotees who were fearful for Srila Prabhupada’s health became more anxious. And finally, the day before Govardhana-puja, Srila Prabhupada’s godbrother, Akincana Krishna dasa Babaji Maharaja came to visit Srila Prabhupada, and His Holiness Bhakti Charu Swami was one of the devotees who felt that Srila Prabhupada just cannot travel. And so he can confide it to Akincana Krishna dasa Babaji Maharaja about his anxiety, and he basically wanted Babaji Maharaja to request Srila Prabhupada not to travel.

Meanwhile, Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhavananda Maharaja had been upstairs in Prabhupada’s room and they were discussing among themselves. And they were in so much anxiety, they were beside themselves, they didn’t know what to say or do. So they came down into Srila Prabhupada’s room where Bhakti Charu Swami and Akincana Krishna dasa Babaji Maharaja were already seated by Prabhupada’s bed. And they said, “Srila Prabhupada, we are in so much anxiety. We don’t know what to do. Please do not go.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “All right, I don’t want you to be in anxiety.” And then he said to Babaji Maharaja, “Just see how much they love me.” And then the devotee said, “Srila Prabhupada, the way you deal with us, you just draw the love out of us.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “That is my duty.”

So then the devotees, at least most of the devotees were elated that Srila Prabhupada had decided not to go, and then there was a great sense of relief and a great sense of hope that Srila Prabhupada will stay, he will get better, and then he can go on parikramā to Govardhana, he can do everything but first he should feel better.

Still, some of the other devotees felt that no, Srila Prabhupada wanted to go. We had come in the way of his desire. It is not our duty to come in the way of his desire. And of course, after Govardhana-puja, Srila Prabhupada gradually withdrew his consciousness, and then the last day, he didn’t manifest any external consciousness, except in the morning. The doctor came to him and asked him to take some medicine, and Prabhupada replied in Hindi something like, “Mere iccha nahi hai”—I have no desire. And then at about 7:26 in the evening, Srila Prabhupada surrounded by his loving devotees chanting Hare Krishna, left.

So, I used to sit in Srila Prabhupada’s room and chant, and even after he left, I continued to do the same thing. I would just go into his room and sit by his bed and chant. And when Srila Prabhupada was in his last weeks, this volume of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam came to him from Los Angeles, and I can’t even describe when the devotees handed the book to him. He looked at the cover; of course, these are two volumes combined, but at the time there were two separate volumes, and there was one volume that was specifically about Mother Yasoda binding Lord Krishna. Srila Prabhupada looked at the pictures with such love, it was just amazing, everyone could see it. Tamal Krishna Goswami also just exclaimed about the love that Srila Prabhupada had in his eyes when he looked at the pictures of Krishna; just overwhelmed with love. It was just so obvious the way he was looking at the pictures.

So I went into Srila Prabhupada’s room after he had left, and I was chanting, and I saw the book. I saw Srila Prabhupada’s personal copy of the book which had been put on the shelf, and somehow I felt moved to read it because I was still preoccupied within my mind. What was really the right thing? Because there were very senior devotees on both sides of the controversy, and I had great respect for all of them. Many of them had been my authorities, and I wasn’t really quite sure. So I picked up the book, and it opened to the chapter, “Mother Yasoda binds Lord Krishna,” and I read how Mother Yasoda had pursued Lord Krishna, and ultimately Lord Krishna out of His causeless mercy, allowed her to catch Him. And even after she caught Him, she wanted to bind Him with ropes. But still she couldn’t bind Him with ropes because no matter how many ropes she put together, the length of the ropes was always two fingers too short.

But eventually, we came to these verses, one of which I read just now, where Lord Krishna allowed Himself to be bound by the love of Mother Yasoda. And then I thought, That’s what happened with Srila Prabhupada. That he allowed himself to be bound by the love of the devotees, and just as Lord Krishna actually feels gratified when His devotees’ love bring Him under control, Srila Prabhupada also must have just been overpowered by the love of the devotees.

Earlier, Srila Prabhupada had given us a little hint. That was earlier, Srila Prabhupada had stopped drinking and one of Prabhupada’s servants was Upendra, and Upendra said very innocently, “Srila Prabhupada, you have to drink. If you don’t drink, you will become dehydrated, and you will die.” Then Srila Prabhupada said, “Call the GBC.” So the word went out, Srila Prabhupada wanted all the GBC members to come. And it wasn’t really limited to the GBC members, but the senior devotees, they all came. And we understood that the topic was not just whether Srila Prabhupada should drink water, but the topic was much deeper. And Srila Prabhupada himself said that when his father wanted to give up his body, he just stopped drinking water, and that was the way devotees would give up their bodies.

So Srila Prabhupada asked, “Do you think the movement will go on without me?” And Brahmananda Prabhu replied, “Oh yes Srila Prabhupada, the movement will go on.” And then Srila Prabhupada replied, “Then let me die in peace. Don’t make me suffer anymore.” So then of course, Brahmananda felt very bad. So then, one of the devotees said, “But Srila Prabhupada, you always said that you will do whatever Krishna wants you to do, and if Krishna allows you to stay, you will stay. And if Krishna wants you to go, you will go. So we are just trying to be surrendered to the will of Krishna.” And then Srila Prabhupada replied, “Krishna has given me the choice.” So that really shocked us because up until then Srila Prabhupada always said he was just depending on Krishna, whatever Krishna wanted. Prabhupada would do. So then Prabhupada said, “You all discuss and let me know.”

So then all the senior devotees left the room, we went right into the next room which was sort of the anteroom to discuss. And Kirtanananda Swami spoke very lucidly, and he said that if Krishna has given Srila Prabhupada the choice, then Srila Prabhupada now is giving us the choice. And if he is giving us the choice, then definitely we want Srila Prabhupada to stay. And then all the devotees said, “Yes, we want Srila Prabhupada to stay, of course.” And then someone said, “But all the GBC members aren’t here.” And someone else said, “Come on, what GBC member is going to vote that Prabhupada should leave?”

So the devotees were one; they were all in agreement that if Krishna was giving Prabhupada the choice, and if Prabhupada was giving us the choice, then yes, we want Prabhupada to stay. So then, the devotees went back into the room and Kirtanananda Swami, because he was the senior most and he had spoken so clearly and intelligently, he was asked to be the one to speak on behalf of the devotees. So we went into Srila Prabhupada’s room, sat down and then Kirtanananda Swami just started crying, sobbing, and he couldn’t speak, and one of the devotees was rubbing his back from behind and Prabhupada said, “So, you have discussed?” And finally Kirtanananda Swami said, “Yes Srila Prabhupada, we want you to stay.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “You have all discussed and agreed?” He said, “Yes, if Krishna has given you the choice and if you are giving us the choice, we want you to stay.” We want you to finish the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, we want so many things.” And Prabhupada was silent, and all the devotees were just filled with anxiety of love. And then Srila Prabhupada said, “All right!” Very nonchalant, “All right” then he said, “Bring me some juice.” And then Srila Prabhupada drank a little juice and then everyone was happy; Prabhupada was staying.

So what was actually happening was very subtle, and I believe that Srila Prabhupada was instructing us on different levels. And at the same time, especially in the weeks before his departure, trying to elevate us to a higher level. One level is obedience. The disciple obeys the order of the spiritual master, and I may take the liberty here and make a comparison. And therefore, the mood of the disciple can be compared to the mood of the devotees in Vaikuntha, who are fully aware of the opulence of the Lord, and to serve Him according to rules and regulations, in the mood of awe and reverence. And certainly, every disciple must have that mood to begin, otherwise he cannot make any progress. And that mood is always there, and Srila Prabhupada was teaching us. Yes, we have to be surrendered to Krishna. Whatever Krishna wants, we have to accept. If Krishna wants us to go, we go. If Krishna wants us to stay, we stay. We are surrendered to the will of Krishna.

But as we read here, there comes a point when the devotees, because of their spontaneous love for Krishna, act on the basis of pure love and they can express themselves, their love for Krishna without being overwhelmed by the majestic aspect of the Lord. But their spontaneous love just flows to Krishna, and they think and act and speak on the basis of spontaneous love. And it is such spontaneous love which goes beyond the rules and regulations and the awareness of the Lord’s majesty, that can control the Lord.

So when Srila Prabhupada said, “Krishna has given me the choice,” basically he was saying that, “Yes, I am surrendered to Krishna, and we all must be surrendered to Krishna.” But there comes a point in the relationship between the devotee and the Lord where the reciprocation between the Lord and the devotee is such that Krishna, well He gave Prabhupada the choice which means that there is a reciprocation that involves some degree of intimacy and equality.

So that was the hint there. And then when Kirtanananda Swami said with his voice completely choked and his eyes full of tears, “We want you to stay,” Srila Prabhupada replied. “That is love.” That obedience is the basis of love, but love goes beyond simply obedience according to the rules and regulations. Of course, we have to be very careful because unless one is actually pure and actually surrendered in the name of love, he will just act whimsically for personal gratification. Not to single out any particular group, but sometimes devotees would discuss with Prabhupada about Christians. When Christians say, “We love Jesus. We are fine as we are, we love Jesus.” And Prabhupada would say, “Well, what is the proof that they love Jesus?” And then in the end Prabhupada would say, “If they really love Jesus, they would obey him. Not that they do whatever they want in disobedience to his will and say they love him.”

So the basis is surrender and obedience. But still, when one is actually purified and that’s what Prabhupada wanted to draw out of us, he wanted to draw out of us our love. And then again at the end, when the devotees came down, Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhavananda Maharaja said, “Srila Prabhupada, we are in so much anxiety, we are beside ourselves, please don’t go.” And then Srila Prabhupada said, “Babaji Maharaja, see how much love they have for me.”

So I think that was the final instruction. Yes, the final instruction in one sense, was that we should give up our lives, chanting the holy names and thinking of Lord Krishna. But in another sense, the final instruction is that what Srila Prabhupada really wants is our love. And sometimes, our love may seem to express itself against the apparent will of Srila Prabhupada. Apparently, he wanted to stop drinking, and when he decided to stop, he was emphatic. And apparently, he wanted to go on the bullock cart to Govardhana Hill, and when he said he wanted to go, he really seemed determined. So it was a very difficult test for the devotees’ heartfelt love to break the barriers of awe and reverence, and obedience to the order. But in the end, Srila Prabhupada showed his most super excellent quality of coming under the control of the love of the devotees. And therefore, we feel like so many of the great devotees, not that we feel on the same level that they did, but we have the same type of sentiment that “Who could be a more magnanimous master, although You are complete within yourself and independent, but still You are so loving and kind and magnanimous, that You give yourself to Your devotees.”

And that’s what Srila Prabhupada did. Not just to one or two, or ten or twenty, but he really gave himself to all of his devotees. Some may have had more personal interaction and some may have had less, but Srila Prabhupada did give himself to all of his devotees, and he reciprocated with them in just the right way for each one. And therefore, we can never imagine accepting any other master. We can’t even think of it. We can perhaps understand that Srila Prabhupada is just manifesting the same qualities as Krishna and therefore someday, in some far distant lifetime, we might be able to see the same qualities in Krishna or in Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. But the person we knew and saw and served, well not really served, but have tried to follow the instructions of, is Srila Prabhupada. And therefore, today we do feel separation from him because there is no one in our experience like him. And I wish I had the beautiful prayers of the exalted devotees, because they would have expressed the sentiment much better. But again, who could be a better master?

Even though Putana came with poison smeared on her breasts to kill Him, still He saw the good. He only saw the good. And even though He did suck out her life at the same time as He sucked her milk, but He took it that she had become like His mother, or she had acted like His mother and therefore He elevated her to a position like mother in the spiritual world. And we know from Krishna and Yasoda, what it means for Him to accept someone as a mother. And even us, even though we are so full of poison, the poison of envy, the poison of material desires for sense gratification; we are full of so many poisons. So much poison, our only hope is that we have such a wonderful master as Srila Prabhupada, and he will suck out all the poison and just take the good. We came to offer service to him and elevate us to the position where we can continue to serve him eternally. Hare Krishna.

Devotee: I was wondering, since Srila Prabhupada wanted to go to Govardhana Hill and [Unintelligible 00:52:57]

Giriraj Swami: Well, in a general sense, yes. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura, in his last days, he would recite nija-nikata-nivasam dehi govardhana tvam. Dear Govardhana, please grant me residence near to you. But I think in the case of Srila Prabhupada, he would have rather been nowhere else but in his own quarters at his temple, Krishna-Balaram Mandir, surrounded by his disciples. And when we understood, when the doctor told us that now the time had come, the doors were open. Everyone came in; senior devotees, junior devotees, men, women. It was as if the pure love that Srila Prabhupada had in his heart for all of the disciples, which was somehow bound by the etiquette of being the acharya or being a sannyasi or being the guru, all those barriers were removed, and it was just Prabhupada’s pure love for his devotees and his devotees’ pure love for him. And I do not believe that there is any place that he would rather have been than where he was, with whom he was.

I think Srila Prabhupada was a goṣṭhyānandī; from beginning to end, he was a goṣṭhyānandī. He took pleasure out of bringing others to Krishna. Just like Srimati Radharani, She takes more pleasure when She brings other gopīs to Krishna. And yes, bhajanānandīs, they. . . there can be two aspects to the same person, but as goṣṭhyānandī, I am sure that Srila Prabhupada would not have wanted to leave in any other place or any other way; my personal opinion. Yes.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 00:56:14] disobedience, in the context of love, because we live in the world of externalities, and we shave our heads, some of us, not all of us, and our beards, and we change up but to what extent this, consciously or unconsciously, this desire to externally please the master is in contradiction, or better yet, exhibit some tension between the innermost desire to obediently disobey, even the spiritual master in order to please the same master and Sri guru and Gauranga and ultimately, Srimati Radharani?

Giriraj Swami: The spiritual master gives so many instructions. Krishna gives some of the instructions, and there is a hierarchy in instructions. When I first joined in Boston, we had the sacred throw out, where all the sacred items would be thrown out and then brought to the river. And then there was the regular throw out. So Satsvarupa Maharaja was the temple president, and he would get letters from different centers, and the envelopes would have the return address—International Society for Krishna Consciousness, and he threw all the envelopes in the same trash bin. So I said, very innocently I hope, I said, “Satsvarupa, are we supposed to put the envelopes with Krishna’s name on it in the sacred throw out and not in the regular throw out?” And Satsvarupa replied that, “If I spend all my time separating the sacred throw out from the regular throw out, I would have no time to spread Krishna consciousness.”

So, one has to give priority to the most important instructions, the most essential instructions. And the highest instruction is to love Krishna and to bring others to Krishna. And we have to be sincere enough, and intelligent enough to be able to understand if neglecting a lesser instruction is really necessary or whether it is just a matter of personal convenience, that we don’t want to bother following it. It is a big topic. Yes.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 00:59:57]

Giriraj Swami: I never even heard it. In all my. . . I guess it has been twenty-four years since and I am hearing it for the first time.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 01:00:37]

Giriraj Swami: You can ask her after the class. Srila Prabhupada ki jaya. Nitai-Gaura premānande Hari Haribol!