SB 3.28.17

Giriraj Swami:

oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya

oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya

oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya

Reading from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Canto Three, Chapter Twenty-Eight: “Kapila’s Instructions on Devotional Service,” Text Seventeen.

TEXT 17

apīcya-darśanaṁ śaśvat
sarva-loka-namaskṛtam
santaṁ vayasi kaiśore
bhṛtyānugraha-kātaram

TRANSLATION

The Lord is eternally very beautiful, and He is worshipable by all the inhabitants of every planet. He is ever youthful and always eager to bestow His blessing upon His devotees.

PURPORT by Srila Prabhupada

The word sarva-loka-namaskṛtam means that He is worshipable by everyone on every planet. There are innumerable planets in the material world and innumerable planets in the spiritual world as well. On each planet there are innumerable inhabitants who worship the Lord, for the Lord is worshipable by all but the impersonalists. The Supreme Lord is very beautiful. The word śaśvat is significant. It is not that He appears beautiful to the devotees but is ultimately impersonal. Śaśvat means “ever existing.” That beauty is not temporary. It is ever existing — He is always youthful. In the Brahma-saṁhitā (5.33) it is also stated: advaitam acyutam anādim ananta-rūpam ādyaṁ purāṇa-puruṣaṁ nava-yauvanaṁ ca. The original person is one without a second, yet He never appears old. He always appears as ever-fresh, as a blooming youth.

The Lord’s facial expression always indicates that He is ready to show favor and benediction to the devotees; for the nondevotees, however, He is silent. As stated in Bhagavad-gītā, although He acts equally to everyone because He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead and because all living entities are His children, He is especially inclined to serve those engaged in devotional service. The same fact is confirmed here: He is always anxious to show favor to the devotees. Just as the devotees are always eager to render service unto the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the Lord is also very eager to bestow benediction upon the pure devotees.

COMMENT

So, every day, we recite the prayer to Srila Prabhupada, praṇāma mantra, nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi-pāścātya-deśa-tāriṇe, that he has come to the western world on the order of his spiritual master to deliver the western countries from impersonalism and voidism. Because impersonalism and voidism are the opposites of devotional service. In fact, there cannot be devotional service where there is impersonalism and voidism.

So here, Srila Prabhupada takes the phrase, sarva-loka-namaskṛtam, “He is worshipable by everyone on every planet” as true, except for the impersonalists. He’s worshipable by everyone on every planet, in the material world and in the spiritual world, but not by the impersonalists. So, the impersonalists are singled out. And again later in the purport, he mentions that for the devotees, He takes special care. But for the non-devotees, He is silent.

So, when we first heard the phrase nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi, we were thinking, Well, we don’t have nirviśeṣavādis and śūnyavādis in the west. They might be in India, but we don’t have them in the west. We just have ordinary people. But impersonalism is very subtle. And even though people in the west may not be officially trained in the ideas of Shankaracharya, for example, they do have impersonal ideas. And now, of course, many impersonal ideas from India have actually come to the west, and people are learning about them more directly. But even otherwise, the impersonal tendency is always there. I think practically in every religious tradition, there are personalists and impersonalists.

So, Srila Prabhupada’s specific mission was to deliver us from impersonalism. Here, I think of one person. I’m sure there were many, but I think of one person who was an impersonalist before he met Srila Prabhupada. That is myself. I was looking for spiritual life, and after a while, I realized that I needed a guru. But I couldn’t find my guru. In fact, I was sort of reminded of my own story a little by His Holiness Bhakti Charu Swami’s story yesterday. Because I would go anywhere to see a guru if I heard there was a guru, but I always found some defect with them. I could go through the list, but I always found some defect with them, and I thought, This is not my perfect master. And I even had a mental image of what my guru would be like. It was very vague, but he didn’t have hair. And I would say all the swamis and yogis from India that I saw, they all had long hair.

So, I was despairing whether I’ll actually ever find my perfect master. At the time, I was a student at Brandeis University outside Boston, and somehow, the devotees had arranged a program there. Actually, I had a professor in the department of psychology who had been to India, and he even introduced Indian concepts in one of the courses that I took in psychology. And there, for the first time, I came across these terms. He had four columns with different terms of Indian philosophy and western psychology. And the top line was dharma, artha, kāma, and moksha.

So, it turns out, I didn’t know it at the time but later, I found out, it was actually through him that the devotees arranged the program for Srila Prabhupada on campus. Well, at the time, I had a girlfriend, and she was getting sick of me running after all these swamis and yogis all the time. But that particular night that I wanted to go to Prabhupada’s lecture, she really made a scene. It was never like that before, but that particular night, she really made a scene. I mean, she was crying and whining. And she was saying, “Why can’t we be like other people? Why do we always have to be going after these swamis and yogis?” And my nature is such that I didn't want to disappoint her. And I kept wanting to agree not to go, but something inside of me kept pushing me, “You have to go.” It was overwhelming. So, finally, I said, “Okay, this will be the last one I ever go to.” [laughter] Little did I know how true that would prove to be.

So, we went to the program, and there was Srila Prabhupada, and he was so effulgent that it was actually hard for me to focus on him. There just seemed to be such a light about him. Because of the argument, I ended up being late. So, by the time we got there, they were just in the last kirtan. But it was such a powerful kirtan the walls of the auditorium were bare brick. I mean, it was just a style of architecture. And the amplified sound was reverberating off the walls. And students were getting up from the seating in the auditorium and going on the stage and dancing in a circle. And Srila Prabhupada was there, and I felt like joining them. But I looked, and it wasn’t just my girlfriend, there were a couple of my male friends. And I thought, It was already hard enough to get here. If I go up on the stage and start dancing, they’ll really think it’s too much.

So, I stayed in the audience, but I really felt like joining. And then at the end, Satsvarupa Maharaja announced if anyone was driving to Harvard Square, to Cambridge, or to Boston, to please see the devotees in the entrance area of the auditorium because they needed a lift. Because at the time, the devotees didn’t have a car in Boston. Somehow, they made some arrangement for Srila Prabhupada, but there was no arrangement for the devotees.

So, I was actually planning to go to Cambridge. And so, I went to the foyer, and the first devotee who spoke to me was Varadraj Prabhu. And he was so intoxicated by Srila Prabhupada’s association and the kirtan, he was so high. Of course, this is how I was perceiving him at the time, that was the way I saw things. And he just started saying that when Krishna showed His universal. . . I don’t know why, he just started saying, “When Krishna showed His universal form to Arjuna, it was more brilliant than millions of sons, and Arjuna’s knees were trembling, and he prayed to Krishna, ‘Please come back to Your original form.’” And he was just going on and on, I thought, Wow. 

So, I had a red Rambler station wagon, and I said, “Well, I’m going to Harvard square. You can come with me.” So, they all piled in. I don’t know how many there were, but there were just three of us in the front seat. And then in the second seat, maybe three or four. And then in the back compartment, I don’t know how many fit in there. [laughter]

So, I was driving, and my girlfriend and Janava were in the front seat. And I think all the rest were men, or maybe no, I don’t know. There might have been some ladies. And then in the back compartment, there was Satsvarupa dasa, at the time, and my best friend, Gary.

So, I was overhearing them arguing, and nirviśeṣa-śūnyavādi. So, my friend was saying, “Ultimately, everything is void.” And Satsvarupa was saying, “There is no void in the creation of God.” And they were arguing back and forth. And I was listening to them, and I thought, I have the answer, because I’ve been reading so many books, I thought, I have the answer. So, I said, “It’s not void, and it’s not not void. But to give it a name, we call it the void.” I thought that was the perfect solution, but it didn’t stop them from arguing.

So then, I started to talk to Janava, and she was really powerful. And I knew it wasn’t her power, I knew she was getting it from somewhere. So, I mentioned about my different pursuits in Zen, and so on. And she said that in Zen, the world is like images on a screen, like a movie, images on a screen, but they actually have no reality. But if you draw your consciousness back from the dancing images on the screen, you’ll see there’s a beam of light. And if you follow the beam of light back, it comes to a point. And I thought, Wow! This is the best explanation of Zen I’ve ever heard. And I’d even met Zen masters who were certified by Zen masters in Japan.

And then, she said, “But behind that point, there’s a projector. And behind the projector, there’s a person who’s running the projector.” And I thought, Wow! She perfectly understands Zen, but she goes beyond it, which no one had ever done before. And then, I mentioned Yogananda, because I read the Autobiography of a Yogi. She said, “Oh, Yogananda, he’s just a shopkeeper. If you go to his ashram in California, he’s just a shopkeeper. You want yoga, he has this in stock. Whatever you want, he keeps it in stock. And he has a statue of Mahatma Gandhi there, saying that he’s a teacher of world peace, a worker for world peace. But he wasn’t interested in world peace. He was just trying to drive the British out of India.”

So, I thought, Wow! But I knew, again, it couldn’t be her. She couldn’t speak with such authority on her own, there was something behind her. So, I thought, I have to meet the guru. So, eventually, I got the address of the temple, and I came. And it was a little hard for me to understand Srila Prabhupada’s accent. And probably, it wasn’t just the accent, it might have been the philosophy itself because I wasn’t used to it. But one thing I caught that Srila Prabhupada said, “Out of many thousands of men, one will seek perfection.” When I heard that, I thought, That’s me. [laughter]

And then, he took questions. So then, I asked the question that had been on my mind for months, or years. I said, “There’s so many swamis, and yogis, and masters, and each one recommends a different process of self-realization, and each one says that his is the best. So, how do I know which is actually the best?”

So, Srila Prabhupada replied with a question, “What is your goal? Do you want to become God, or do you want to serve God?” And that was a very intelligent question because my question was, “Which means is the best?” But a more basic question is, “Means to what end?” So, then Srila Prabhupada went on to convince me. Well, he said, “If you want to become God, that means you’re not God now. So, how can not God become God? God is always God. Krishna is always God. He’s God when He’s playing on the lap of Yasoda. He’s God when He’s on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. He’s always God. He doesn’t have to become God by yoga or meditation.”

So, he said, “You can become godly, but you cannot become God.” And then, he said, “If you want to serve God, God is in your heart and He’s ready to help you. But if you want to become God, why should God help the competition?” [laughter] So, he said, “If you sow the seed of service to God and water it with chanting, God will give the sunlight and all the conditions favorable to make it grow. But if you want to become God, you’re only cheating yourself.”

So, at that time, I had the feeling that Prabhupada knew everything about me. And I actually felt he was seeing straight through me, straight through the walls of the temple, all the way from Alston where the temple was, all the way back, back, back to Waltham, to my apartment, and he was seeing in my apartment, he was seeing into my bathroom, and onto the wall of my bathroom where I had put up this paper and I’d written in my own handwriting, very ornate letters in different colors, “YOU ARE GOD.” [laughter] Just in case I forgot, to remind myself.

So, I knew, He’s my perfect master, he knows everything about me and he has perfect knowledge and he’s my perfect master. So, he said, “So, what do you think? You want to become God, or you want to serve God?” So, I knew by then I should say I wanted to serve God, and I did, he brought me to the point. And I wanted to say I want to serve God, but I knew I couldn’t cheat him. I mean, he already saw straight through me.

So, I said, “I want to serve God. But actually, I realized I wanted to become God.” He said, “Yes.” [laughter] So then, I surrendered. I mean, within my heart, I surrendered, I offered obeisances. And I felt completely humiliated because I felt I had been exposed in front of all of these people; all of the devotees, and all of the others in the audience. I’d been exposed for wanting to become God, which seemed very abominable. [laughter]

So, I kept my head down on the floor for a long time. [laughter] Partly out of submission to Srila Prabhupada, and partly out of fear. Because I just imagined if I got up and looked around, there’d be all these people glaring at me, “You wanted to become God. You wanted to become Krishna.” [laughter] 

So, I kept my head down for a long time. But then, there was a feast that night. There may have been initiations. I know later, there were the three marriages. So, I could hear the sounds that indicated that there was distribution of prasāda. And eventually, I looked up and everyone was smiling and blissful. They weren’t glaring at me and making bad faces. And that was the first meeting.

So, I would come every night. And Prabhupada mentioned to the devotees after a few nights that I was very submissive. I shouldn’t say, but anyway, he said, “He’s very submissive and he’ll be a great help to this Krishna consciousness movement.” So, being submissive wasn’t in my list of virtues. [laughter] We were never taught in school that it’s a virtue to be submissive. It’s quite the contrary, you have to think for yourself, don’t accept anything blindly, analyze, critical thinking. And submissive, I thought that was very strange. But I knew he thought it was a good quality in me. So, that made me think, Well, okay.

So, I had a car and they didn’t have a car. I think they probably had to rent taxis, I don’t know how Prabhupada got around. But they asked me if I would like to drive Srila Prabhupada to the programs. So, I said, “Yes, I would.” And the schedule was that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he would speak in the temple. And Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, he would have an outside engagement, mainly at universities. And then on Sunday was the Sunday program at the temple.

So, I came to pick him up, and I was early. And I came to the temple, and the temple was pretty much empty. But they said that Srila Prabhupada was staying in an apartment across the street, and I could go there until it was time to leave for the program. So, I went, and there was Srila Prabhupada with a group of disciples. So, I came in, and he had his little Radha-Krishna Deities. So, I guess I sat in front of them with my back to them. So, the devotee said, “No, you can’t sit there,” so I moved. And he was having very loving exchanges with all the devotees, and I told him to go and get ready for the program.

And I was left alone in the room with him. And I had so many questions, but I felt every molecule of his body was speaking and answering all my questions. And it was such a deep experience to be alone in the room with him. And he had this beautiful sort of golden, dark complexion. And I don’t know, there was a spiritual atmosphere that pervaded the whole room. And he was putting on fresh tilak, and he put the water in the palm of his hand, and then he was rubbing the tilak, dissolving some of the tilak. And then, he applied it very carefully on his face. And then at the end, there was nothing left on his hand. I thought, He’s really perfect. He judged exactly how much water and tilak to put on his hand.

This is sort of on the side, but many years later in India, after Srila Prabhupada had left, I was invited to the marriage of our auditor in Bombay. And our auditor in Bombay was the chairman of the worldwide Sathya Sai Baba Trust. And so, the marriage was performed at Sathya Sai Baba’s ashram in Andheri, Bombay, in his presence.

So, after the ceremony, his admirers were introducing people to him. And he had his famous long sleeves, and he would go like this, and they’d hold out their eager hands, and then the ashes would fall down. And then, he would motion for one of his other admirers or servants for a handkerchief. So then, they’d bring a handkerchief and wipe off the ashes.

So, I thought, If he has the power to make ashes appear out of nowhere, why can’t he make them disappear from the palm of his hand? Why does he need somebody to come running with a handkerchief? But anyway, Srila Prabhupada made the tilak disappear, his hand was completely clean. And then, he said, “Where are you from?” And I answered. He asked very simple questions to put me at ease. But I had imagined we were going to have some very high philosophical, esoteric discussion. He was just asking these very simple questions. And that was also good, because afterwards, I thought, Well, maybe I’m not as elevated as I thought. Maybe I’m not really ready to have this high esoteric, spiritual discussion.

So then, we were going to the car. I was escorting him to the car, and this question was burning inside of me, I had to ask him. And I said, “What is it like to be with Krishna?” Because I heard from all the devotees that Srila Prabhupada is always with Krishna. I thought he said, “It’s inconceivable,” and that was the perfect answer. And I knew I couldn’t understand more than that. Although later, our godbrother Hansadutta Prabhu, who was there, he thought Prabhupada said, “That’s confidential.” But anyway, I heard inconceivable.

So, he went to the program. It was at the Harvard Divinity School. And Harvard is reputed to be the best university in the United States. And the students thought they were very smart. And after the lecture, they were shooting these questions at Srila Prabhupada. So, one said, “You keep talking about chanting, but what is chanting going to do for the people of the world? We have to help the people of the world.” And then, he started quoting the Russian revolution. So, Srila Prabhupada said, “Are the people of Russia happy?” He said, “No.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “Then what is the use? And even if it gets better for a while, it’ll get worse again.”

And then, one young man said, “You’re repeating, ‘Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna,’ just repeating. But couldn’t you just repeat anything and get the same result? Couldn’t you chant, ‘One, two, three,’ and get the same result?” And Prabhupada said, “Of course, that is not possible. But after you get tired of counting, you can try chanting.” So, everyone laughed. They thought they were smart and fast, and he was much quicker and much smarter than they were. And in the end, they were just totally in awe.

So, after the program, I was intoxicated, and I was just wandering among the students, listening to what they were talking about. And I guess some of the other devotees may have been. . . I don’t know, I lost track. And then suddenly, Jadurani comes running to me and sort of imitating Srila Prabhupada’s voice affectionately, “So, where is the driver?” I thought, Oh my gosh! I have to drive Srila Prabhupada back to the temple. So, I ran out to the car, and Srila Prabhupada and the devotees were waiting, I let them all in.

And I didn’t really know the area that well, but I made it to the program because it was light then. But on the way back, it was dark. I wasn’t quite sure, but I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t know the way, and I sort of tried to find the way. But after a while, I realized we were getting more and more lost. [laughter] So, finally, I had to sort of come out with it, “I think we’re lost.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “Is not the driver supposed to know the way?” So, I didn’t know I was the driver. I didn’t know there were drivers. I was just offering my car to take Srila Prabhupada to the program. Anyway, we were going down all these streets and nobody really knew where we were by then. But we sort of figured it out, we got back.

So, when we got back to the temple in Prabhupada’s apartment, when Srila Prabhupada got out of the car, I rushed out and came around and I said, “I’m sorry that I got us lost.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “That’s all right.” But very kindly, his voice was so full of love, and kindness, and compassion. And I thought, He’s so nice. Not only does know everything, but he’s very kind and merciful.

So, every night, I would come, and then the time came for Srila Prabhupada to leave. And I didn’t realize the significance of it. I mean, I almost assumed he would always be there. But the devotees were going to the airport, and I also accompanied them. And at the airport, after Prabhupada boarded the flight, I saw all the devotees were crying. And I thought, What’s happening? And I didn’t understand it because Prabhupada very often would quote brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā.

So, I thought, Why are they crying? So, I asked Arundhati, she used to answer a lot of my questions. So, I asked Arundhati, “Why is everyone crying? What’s happening?” Up until then, I thought everything about Krishna consciousness was perfect. I thought, Maybe this is the one thing that’s not perfect, that the spiritual master has to leave.

So, she replied, “Srila Prabhupada had said that on the absolute platform, meeting and separation are both the same. They’re both occasions for transcendental ecstasy.” I thought, Wow! That’s a perfect answer. But still, I wasn’t sure if it was practical. In theory, it sounded perfect, but I wasn’t sure if it was practical.

So, after Prabhupada left, there was some momentum from his visit. But at the same time, I sensed, I don’t know if it was true of the other devotees because they all seemed very Krishna conscious, but I felt that the momentum may be slowing down a bit after Prabhupada’s departure. So, I was wondering, Is this really true? So then, one day, we were doing hari-nāma-saṅkīrtana in front of one of the subways. And I don’t know what happened, but suddenly, I felt Srila Prabhupada’s presence. I felt that he was right there with us. And then, I thought, Yes, it is true what they said, that on the absolute platform, there’s no difference between meeting and separation. And then, I felt, “Yes, everything about Krishna consciousness is perfect.” And then, the rest is history, as they say. But that was my first encounter with Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!

Devotees: Haribol! [applause]

Giriraj Swami: Are there any questions or comments? [Unintelligible 01:01:21] Prabhu. 

Devotee: What happened to your girlfriend? [laughter]

Giriraj Swami: What happened to my girlfriend? Okay, I’ll tell you if you really want to know. So, as I mentioned, I was a psychology major at Brandeis University, and sometimes I’d go to Cambridge to attend lectures, and Harvard. So, there was some renowned psychologist or psychiatrist who had come to Harvard. And this was after I met Prabhupada. I came every day for about two weeks, and then I just moved in.

So, anyway, we had gone to this lecture. I don’t even remember who the psychologist or psychiatrist was, but my girlfriend phoned him. Somehow, she got his phone number and she telephoned him to complain about me. Well, even before then, I’d become vegetarian and almost celibate. So, she phoned him and told him what was happening with me. So, he told her, “This is not your problem. This is his problem. There’s nothing wrong with you. He’s the one that has the problem,” and she left me. She’d also talk about the Lord always being. . . It’s very interesting because that word is in the verse, anugraha—mercy. And the same word appears in the verse yasyāham anugṛhṇāmi where Lord Krishna says, “When I want to bestow special mercy on a devotee, I take away his opulences.” So, I never made the connection at the time, but He took her away, which was definitely His mercy.

And Gary, that was a big disappointment. Because my friends, there were a few of us, Gary and Paul, those were the two main. I thought we were all seekers. So, after I met Srila Prabhupada, I went back and I told him, “This is it, I found it. This is what we’ve all been looking for.” And I thought they’d all just immediately become devotees. And I brought them to the Sunday program, and I thought they’d love it. I mean, I couldn’t believe the prasāda. When I said I thought everything about Krishna consciousness was perfect, it included the prasāda. I mean, that first feast, every bite of every preparation just exploded with delicious transcendental flavors that I’d never experienced. It was not material, there’s no comparison.

So, I said, “This is it. This is what we’ve all been looking for.” And they didn’t like the feast, there’s too much sugar. They had a totally different perception of it. Well, there was one girl, she sort of became a devotee. She came and moved into the temple. She was very submissive, actually. And I think she admired me. So, she moved into the temple, she would wear a sari, and she would do devotional service. But this was all in May, and graduation was in June, and we were all in our senior year. So, she was living in the temple, she seemed to be happy, she was wearing a sari and doing service. But when it was time for graduation and her parents came, she went back to her western dress and went back home, and I never heard anything about her. And Gary and Paul, I don’t know.

But I did have another friend, he was a graduate student. We were actually very close. I had a lot of older friends. So, of all the people, he became a Buddhist, but he visited me at the Juhu temple. He came to Ceylon, to Sri Lanka, on a sort of Buddhist pilgrimage. But he also visited me in Juhu, and he came on programs, he chanted, he took prasāda. He was probably the closest. And then, there was another one, Ronnie, we were pretty good friends. He was also a year or two older than me. I don’t know how he got my phone number and phoned me once when I was visiting America. No, he phoned, I wasn’t there, but my parents kept his name and number.

So, when I visited, I phoned him and he was very interested. But he was willing to learn from me, but he wanted me to be able to learn from him too. He didn’t want it to be one-sided. And I didn’t really feel I had anything to learn from him. I sort of pretended, I went along with it a little, but within my heart, I felt, “I really have nothing to learn from you.”

And coming back to the program at Harvard Divinity School, I didn’t remember this part, but later, Ravindra Svarupa Prabhu told me that he met one of the professors of the Divinity School who had attended Prabhupada’s lecture. And apparently, he had asked Prabhupada, “You’ve come to teach us so much from your tradition. Do you think there’s anything that you can learn from us here?” And Prabhupada said, “No.” [laughter] I think the professor was a little annoyed by Prabhupada’s answer. But sometimes I think of them, not often, but I prayed to Prabhupada to be merciful to these old friends. So, I’m sure they must have gotten some benefit.

Srila Prabhupada ki jaya! Nitai Gaura premānande Haribol!

Devotee: Giriraj Swami Maharaja ki jaya!