Tamal Krishna Goswami Memorial Festival

Giriraj Swami:

Today is a most auspicious occasion, with so many wonderful devotees who are attached to Srila Tamal Krishna Goswami gathered here to hear about him, speak about him, and remember him—to learn about him and learn from him.

Yesterday—it seems so long ago—but yesterday, for different reasons, I was really struggling, and in the end I went to the beach. Eventually I got some time alone to chant, which I really needed to do. And after the first sixteen rounds I started to feel more like myself. As I was thinking about what had happened and what I have to do about it, I thought of my different dear friends who understood me in different ways—different aspects of me—and helped me in different ways. But I was thinking, “Still, somehow I had to come to this state, and there was really no one who understood all of me.” And then I thought of Krishna, “Oh, yes, that is what Srila Prabhupada always said: ‘Krishna is our best friend. He knows everything about us. He is closer to us than our jugular vein.’” That was one thing Prabhupada said that I heard when I first joined. “Yes, I should just confide in Krishna and depend on Him. Then I will never be disappointed. I will always get the right guidance, and I will be satisfied.”

Then I took a step back and thought of Tamal Krishna Goswami. I considered, “Actually, of all the people I know, he understood me the most completely, in the most different aspects and on the most different levels. There was no one who understood me like he did.” And that is guru. The guru is the external manifestation of the Supersoul, and the Supersoul understands the living entity most intimately and completely. So we miss that association. But still, in another way, it is a challenge for us now to develop our relationship with Krishna more and to take more shelter of the devotees—the assembly of the devotees—and maybe even to express to them more about ourselves so they can understand us better and help us more. And my conclusion from the whole incident was that Tamal Krishna Goswami knew exactly what he wanted and needed and that he arranged for it—and that is something we need to learn.

Listening to the different devotees speak, I had so many memories and realizations. Nrsimhananda Prabhu mentioned that Tamal Krishna Goswami could be—as was said of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu—as hard as a thunderbolt and soft as a rose. And Bhakta Carl described how he wanted to experience that other side, the sauce, and felt that others who had were more fortunate. There were many incidents when I got the sauce, and I deserved it, but there was one in particular when I felt elated. I didn’t always feel elated. In fact, this time strikes me because I did feel elated. [laughter]

It was in November of 1977, the last weeks of Srila Prabhupada’s manifest presence on earth, and Prabhupada wanted to form the Bhaktivedanta Swami Charity Trust to create good relations among the Gaudiya Vaishnavas, especially the followers of Srila Sarasvati Thakura. He wanted to invest some money in the trust so that the trust could finance the completion of different projects in Gauda-mandala-bhumi, and he specifically mentioned some projects of his godbrothers that they were unable to complete on their own. I was based in Bombay, and in Bombay I dealt with a lot of Srila Prabhupada’s financial and legal affairs. So when I was in Vrindavan he sent me with his friend Bhagatji, who was a local devotee, an experienced vanaprastha, to Mathura to register the new trust.

So we went. It was very hot, and the whole situation was very difficult. After hours and hours, we finally returned with the registered document. I brought it to Srila Prabhupada’s house and left it there, and then went to take rest, because I was exhausted. I had a very small room in the Vrindavan temple guesthouse. I felt completely drained and wanted to forget the whole experience of dealing with the Indian lawyers and courts and rickshaw drivers and the heat and everything else. So I was lying in bed, and after about ten minutes I was startled by some loud banging on my door. I thought, “Who could be banging like that?” And there was only one person. [laughter]

So I opened the door, and there was His Holiness Tamal Krishna Goswami. He was furious. He came in and said, “You have made such a blunder! Srila Prabhupada is furious. You have registered the ‘Bhaktivedanta Charitable Trust.’ That is not the name of the trust. It is the ‘Bhaktivedanta Swami Charity Trust.’ There could be so many Bhaktivedāntas, but there is only one Bhaktivedanta Swami. You blew it.” “So, what do I have to do?” “You have to go to Mathura tomorrow and redo the whole thing—right.”

Apart from feeling chastened by the correction and apprehensive about the next trip into Mathura, I felt elated. Why? Well, Tamal Krishna Goswami and I were very friendly. We had become very close friends over the years. His interest was so closely aligned to Prabhupada’s interest that I just tried to be in harmony with the two of them. In my mind, my relationship with him and my service to Srila Prabhupada went together. But this incident made it absolutely clear that the center of our relationship was Srila Prabhupada and that when it came to Prabhupada’s service, Goswami Maharaja would not compromise. He wouldn’t be nice to me in a mundane way for the sake of a mundane friendship, at the expense of Srila Prabhupada’s service. And that made me so happy—that our relationship was spiritual. It was based only on Prabhupada’s service. If I made a mistake that was detrimental to Prabhupada’s service, he would let me know in no uncertain terms—and that made me very happy. I had known it, but this incident confirmed it.

Another thing that struck me about Goswami Maharaja was, in a word, how qualified he was. And hearing the different devotees speak expanded my conception of just how qualified he was—his wide range of competence and expertise—and what being qualified actually means. I know that I can never do a fraction of what he could do, but hearing the talks and thinking about how wonderful he was, I realized that although I can’t do anything like what he did, I can learn from him how to give myself fully to the service of the spiritual master and the devotees, which he did. I may not be able to—not may not—I cannot help them the way he could. I don’t have the same capability. But what I can do is learn the spirit of giving myself to the devotees as he did, giving myself to the mission of the spiritual master as he did, even though my personal contribution will be very limited and insignificant compared to his—and realize that we are who we are. I was reminded of an instruction that I got, or felt I got, from our godbrother Sridhar Swami. He said, “Just be yourself and make your contribution.” So that is all we can do, and that will please Goswami Maharaja and Srila Prabhupada.

Another thought I had was that I always long for the day when I will be back with Srila Prabhupada and that when that fortunate opportunity does come again, I am sure  someone else whom we all know will also be there with him. Going back to Srila Prabhupada means Srila Prabhupada with his associates, with his most confidential servants, which means Tamal Krishna Goswami. So, our relationships are eternal. When Srila Prabhupada and Tamal Krishna Goswami were personally present, I always felt that I had a direct relationship with Srila Prabhupada but that at the same time my relationship with Srila Prabhupada was also through Tamal Krishna Goswami. As Baradraja Prabhu mentioned, Goswami Maharaja helped devotees to approach Srila Prabhupada. He helped me to approach Srila Prabhupada. He helped me to understand Srila Prabhupada. He helped me to understand how to better serve Srila Prabhupada and please Srila Prabhupada. And that will continue. That relationship will continue, and that is encouraging.

Our dear godbrother Bhurijana Prabhu is an intellectual and an independent, so sometimes he feels a little restless with some of the ways of the institution. Srila Prabhupada had written, “We will have another ISKCON in the spiritual sky,” and after Goswami Maharaja left, Bhurijana Prabhu commented to me, “’Another ISKCON in the spiritual world’—with Goswami Maharaja gone, that prospect has suddenly become a little more attractive.” [laughter] So, that is the essence of ISKCON: Prabhupada and Prabhupada’s mission, Prabhupada’s service. And Tamal Krishna Goswami was the most wonderful, loving extension of Srila Prabhupada’s mood of love and care, for the devotees and for the world.

Tamal Krishna Goswami was the main executor of Srila Prabhupada’s desires—certainly one of the main. In the field of practical activity, I would say the main. He embodied Prabhupada’s love and compassion and strictness and fidelity, and he also expanded Prabhupada’s mission in very practical, dynamic, innovative ways. His Holiness Ṛtadhvaja Swami often remarks that there are devotees who can be strict followers but not so creative or imaginative or ingenious and there are those who can be creative and imaginative and ingenious but not so faithful or strict, but that Tamal Krishna Goswami internally was completely surrendered to Srila Prabhupada and adherent to his core principles but at the same time, like Prabhupada, very innovative and imaginative and creative in terms of reaching out to people and offering Krishna consciousness to them in ways they could appreciate and accept. It is wonderful that we had him in our lives, because, like Srila Prabhupada, he was an extension of Krishna in the material world. He was an extension of Srila Prabhupada that we could know intimately and interact with, and he would reciprocate with us and make Krishna consciousness more real and practical and approachable—more feasible.

Another thought is that I had so many experiences with Goswami Maharaja in so many different contexts, there is hardly anything I can do now that I haven’t already done in some form or another with him, and so I can remember him. And he was always ahead of me. Shortly after he had his surgery, I had mine. So, he was able to tell me what it meant to undergo surgery and then to recover from it—in detail. And in that context he commented, “I have always stayed a few steps ahead of you.”

Ṛtadhvaja Swami: There is the picture of you and him carrying the deities.

Giriraj Swami: Maharaja is referring to a famous picture, a favorite of both Goswami Maharaja’s and mine. He liked it so much that he made copies and gave them to his friends and disciples. It was on Radhastami in Vrindavan. As Gaudiya Vaishnavas—and especially at that time, with what we were studying in Vrindavan and learning—we gave more importance to Srimati Radharani, to the service of Srimati Radharani, and we liked to see Krishna in the mood of chasing after Radharani. We didn’t want Radharani chasing after Krishna; we wanted Krishna chasing after Radharani. Of course, Krsna is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Anyway, as it happened, the temple had brought small brass deities of Radha and Krishna into the courtyard and placed them on a swing. There were various talks and cultural presentations related to Radhastami, and afterwards Goswami Maharaja and I were to carry the deities to the altar. I don’t know how I lucked out, but I got Radharani and he got Krishna [laughter]. And I was a little bit ahead, which was just the way he wanted it, and then someone clicked that photograph of the two of us, with me a little ahead, carrying Srimati Radharani. But otherwise, on a more earthly plane, he was always ahead of me, and he was always eager to share with me his experiences and the knowledge he had gained, so that it would be easier for me to follow along after him.

As an example of how all these memories can come to mind in all these different situations—it became a tradition here that on Radhastami we would have a boat festival and take our deities of Gandharvika-Giridhari for a ride on Lake Casitas in Ojai. Now we have learned better—we have the picnic at Mother Urvashi’s house—but that year we had it in a park. And after being on the boat for three hours, we needed to use the men’s room, which, it turned out, was quite far away. Internally, I was really hoping I could get there in time, while at the same time trying to look very dignified and proper [laughter]. But inside I was just hoping I could get there in time. First, we had to find an opening in the fence, just to get through, and then we found that the men’s and ladies’ rooms were way at the other end of the park. Finally, I somehow managed to get there, and then I found it was locked, apparently because it was after dark. So it was a crisis. And I didn’t know what to do. But there was only one thing to do: head for the bushes. As it was, somehow I was already feeling deep separation from Goswami Maharaja, and going in the bushes heightened it even more, because it reminded me of all the times on parikramā when we would go to the bushes together [laughter] and try to look very dignified and be inconspicuous about it. That was part of the whole rasa of going on parikramā. We were so close to each other that one wouldn’t go without the other. [laughter] If one went, the other had to go. [laughter] He wouldn’t leave me behind. [laughter] We had to go together so neither one of us would feel uncomfortable later.

So many memories. It is sad that he is not with us now—definitely sad—but we get solace in this association and in these discussions, and in the fact that he was there for us. Now he is there for the whole movement. So many devotees—Kandarpa-manjari, who is not his disciple, is an example-have dreams about him. He is active. He is still active, very active. We miss him, but he does manifest his presence. And we have each other. And I think he is very pleased that we have come together today. That was one of the main things he showed at the end—of course, kirtan, hours and hours of kirtan, but also just being together. Kirtan is the best way to be together, and his kirtans were uniting everyone. And I think that one of the great, one could almost say, lessons from his departure was how the whole ISKCON family was united as never before. Everyone who had been in Mayapur and those who came just after he left, they all were united in glorifying him. It is an example of how sometimes a Vaishnava can do more in separation than in his personal presence, although we miss it. But what he did in his departure by bringing everyone together—and not only by bringing them together, which itself was an achievement, but by bringing them together to glorify a Vaishnava, which is so important for us to learn to do and to do more often—was unique. And today’s event is yet another example of the same thing. He brought us all together. We don’t all know each other, but he gave us an occasion to actually come together and remember him and glorify him and in the process rededicate ourselves to Srila Prabhupada and his mission and strengthen our affectionate attachment for each other in Srila Prabhupada’s family.

Srila Tamal Krishna Goswami Maharaja ki jaya!
Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!
Nitai-Gaura premānande Hari-Haribol!