Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day

Giriraj Swami: So, we have gathered to observe the Disappearance Festival of His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, founder acharya of ISKCON, founder of the BBT, author of many books. In the limited time we have, I thought to discuss the last few days of Srila Prabhupada’s manifest pastimes with us. This history that I shall relate today begins about a week before Srila Prabhupada left.

Srila Prabhupada expressed a desire to go to Govardhana Hill to celebrate govardhana-pūjā with the vrajavāsīs. And he said that he wanted to travel by bullock cart and camp at Govardhana Hill. Now, Srila Prabhupada had been very ill for many months. For many months, he was confined most of the time to his bed, or at most, to moving with help within his quarters. So, the idea of his traveling by bullock cart to Govardhana Hill was quite startling and alarming to some of his disciples, especially the ones who were attending to him personally. And other disciples felt that Srila Prabhupada has expressed his desire, he has given us his instructions, and we should just follow them, it’s not our position to question his instructions, it’s not our duty to try to impose our will on him, we should just execute his will.

So, His Holiness Lokanatha Swami had, under Prabhupada’s instructions, traveled around India on a bullock cart. And so, Srila Prabhupada asked him to arrange a bullock cart, and Trivikrama Swami was asked to assist him. So, they went to Mathura, got the bullock cart, got the bullocks, and parked them in front of the temple.

Meanwhile, the personal servants; Bhakti Charu Swami, Bhakti Svarupa Damodara Swami, Tamal Krishna Goswami, Bhavananda Goswami were filled with anxiety, because they did not understand how Srila Prabhupada could make that difficult journey. And meanwhile, the other devotees; Lokanatha Swami, Hamsaduta Swami, Bharadraj Prabhu, they were very convinced about their position, that we should just facilitate what Srila Prabhupada wanted, and just follow his instructions.

So, things came to head just before the day of govardhana-pūjā. The personal servants, the devotees who felt that Srila Prabhupada would not be able to endure the journey had the idea that because they could not prevail over Srila Prabhupada, they thought maybe one of his godbrothers could. And Akincana Krishna dasa Babaji Maharaja was scheduled to come to visit Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada had said that he was a paramahamsa, he was always absorbed in chanting the holy names. So, Bhakti Caru Swami, who was also Bengali and spoke Bengali, was going to speak to him.

Meanwhile, Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhavananda Maharaja were upstairs in what was Srila Prabhupada’s bedroom, but because he was so weak, I mean, he couldn’t go up and down, so they moved his bed downstairs, and he was basically confined to bed downstairs.

So, Babaji Maharaja came and sat down. And just then, Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhavananda Maharaja came downstairs and sort of burst into the room in a very anxious state, and Srila Prabhupada knew what was on their minds. Tamal Krishna Goswami said, “Srila Prabhupada, we’ve seen the roads, and the roads to Govardhana are so bad, they’re full of potholes. And even if we put mattresses on the bullock cart, you’ll be jostled back and forth on the bullock cart, and it will be very painful for you.”

So, Srila Prabhupada said, “So, what do you want? You want that I shouldn’t go?” He knew. And then, he asked Bhavananda. Bhavananda spoke in the same way. And then, Srila Prabhupada said, “Alright. I won’t go,” and he said to Babaji Maharaja, “Just see how much they love me.” He said, “Bhavananda suffered so much in Mayapur. My right hand and my left hand—how can I refuse? So, I won’t go.”

So, they were jubilant. I think most of the devotees were very relieved and happy, but the other group was very disturbed, and they felt that Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhavananda Maharaja and the others had forced Prabhupada to change his decision, but that he really wanted to go the Govardhana but he just didn’t want to fight with them or disappoint them.

And so, govardhana-pūjā day came and went and there was some further discussion, that when Prabhupada felt better, he would travel all over India, many discussions. And then, two or three days later, he went into internal consciousness, he was not speaking. And then, on the last day, he did not speak, except the Kaviraja asked him to take something, and he said, “I have no desire,” meri koi ichha nahi hai. And those were the last words that he spoke that day. And then, at about 07:26 in the evening, he left.

But after he left, the controversy continued, and it was a very emotional time, in any case. And the feelings were running very strong on this point. One side was saying, “If we took him on the bullock cart, it would have been very painful.” It’s true, Prabhupada was basically just skin and bones. And the other side was saying, “He wanted to go, our duty was to take him, our duty was not to question his desire or his instruction.”

And I, myself, was not sure what to think, because I respected devotees on both sides of the controversy, and there was a certain logic to both arguments. I mean, because of my personal relationships with Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhakti Caru Swami and Bhakti Svarupa Damodara Swami, I tended more towards that position, but I still wasn’t really sure. I also had a lot of respect for the other devotees who were on the other side.

So, after Srila Prabhupada left, maybe two days later, I was chanting japa in his room. And behind his bed, behind his desk were some bookshelves, and the second volume of the Tenth Canto had just come out. And the BBT would make a special copy for Srila Prabhupada that had gold. So, I was just chanting japa behind his bed near the bookshelf, and my eyes fell on this new volume of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. So, I opened it up randomly, and the book opened to the Chapter, “Mother Yaśodā Binds Lord Kṛṣṇa,” which was very appropriate for the month of Damodara.

The Dāmodarāṣṭakam very beautifully and concisely describes the dāmodara-līlā. The version of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam is more expanded, more elaborate, but it’s exactly the same, and there are many verses in the Bhāgavatam that correspond almost exactly to the verses in the Dāmodarāṣṭakam. So, I opened up the book and was struck by two verses. Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Canto Ten, Chapter Nine: “Mother Yaśodā Binds Lord Kṛṣṇa,” Text Eighteen.

TEXT 18

sva-mātuḥ svinna-gātrāyā

visrasta-kabara-srajaḥ

dṛṣṭvā pariśramaṁ kṛṣṇaḥ

kṛpayāsīt sva-bandhane

TRANSLATION

Because of mother Yaśodā’s hard labor, her whole body became covered with perspiration, and the flowers and comb were falling from her hair. When child Kṛṣṇa saw His mother thus fatigued, He became merciful to her and agreed to be bound.

COMMENT

There are many important words in this verse, but our acharyas have singled out two. One is pariśrama, which means hard labor, and the other is kṛṣṇa-kṛpā, which means Krishna’s mercy. Up until then, Mother Yasoda had been unable to bind Krishna, and no matter how many ropes she joined together, the ropes would not bind Him. But finally, when Krishna saw how fatigued she had become from her hard labor, He gave His mercy to her, He became merciful to her and allowed her to bind Him. So, our acharyas comment that the two inches that the ropes were always short, one inch can be covered by the devotee’s hard labor, and the other inch can be covered by Krishna’s mercy. And when the devotee’s hard labor and Krishna’s mercy meet, Krishna is bound.

Then, the next verse.

TEXT 19

evaṁ sandarśitā hy aṅga

hariṇā bhṛtya-vaśyatā

sva-vaśenāpi kṛṣṇena

yasyedaṁ seśvaraṁ vaśe

TRANSLATION

O Mahārāja Parīkṣit, this entire universe, with its great, exalted demigods like Lord Śiva, Lord Brahmā and Lord Indra, is under the control of the Supreme Personality of Godhead. Yet the Supreme Lord has one transcendental attribute: He comes under the control of His devotees. This was now exhibited by Kṛṣṇa in this pastime.

COMMENT

I’ll read the purport by Srila Prabhupada.

PURPORT by Srila Prabhupada

This pastime of Kṛṣṇa’s is very difficult to understand, but devotees can understand it. It is therefore said, darśayaṁs tad-vidāṁ loka ātmano bhakta-vaśyatām. [ŚB 10.11.9] 

COMMENT

This is a little further ahead in the Bhāgavatam.

PURPORT (continued)

The Lord displays the transcendental attribute of coming under the control of His devotees.

By His one plenary portion as Paramātmā, the Lord controls innumerable universes, with all their demigods; yet He agrees to be controlled by a devotee. . .  A devotee can understand how powerful is unalloyed devotional service to Kṛṣṇa; it is so powerful that Kṛṣṇa can be controlled by an unalloyed devotee. This bhṛtya-vaśyatā does not mean that He is under the control of the servant; rather, He is under the control of the servant’s pure love. In Bhagavad-gītā (1.21) it is said that Kṛṣṇa became the chariot driver of Arjuna. Arjuna ordered Him, senayor ubhayor madhye rathaṁ sthāpaya me ‘cyuta: “My dear Kṛṣṇa, You have agreed to be my charioteer and to execute my orders. Place my chariot between the two armies of soldiers.” Kṛṣṇa immediately executed this order, and therefore one may argue that Kṛṣṇa also is not independent. But this is  ajñāna, ignorance. Kṛṣṇa is always fully independent; when He becomes subordinate to His devotees, this is the display of ānanda-cinmaya-rasa, the humor of transcendental qualities that increases His transcendental pleasure. Everyone worships Kṛṣṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and therefore He sometimes desires to be controlled by someone else. Such a controller can be no one else but a pure devotee.

COMMENT

So, having reached this stage of the month of Kartik and having recited the Dāmodarāṣṭakam every day, and hearing how the Lord is not conquered by devotees whose mood is filled with awe and reverence but He is conquered by devotees who are free from absorption in His majestic aspect, but who just have pure love for Him.

So, I thought that maybe Srila Prabhupada was trying to bring the disciples. . . Actually, many of the disciples were discussing that point before he left, that he was bringing us to a higher level of Krishna consciousness. And in particular, he was bringing us to the point where we could break some of those barriers of awe and reverence and express to him our hearts of feelings of love and care for him. And therefore, at that critical moment, when Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhavananda Maharaja approached him, he said to Akincana Krishna dasa Babaji Maharaja, “Just see how much they love me.”

And it was very difficult to go against Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada was very heavy. I mean, guru means heavy. He was very heavy. And up until that moment, whatever arguments the devotees gave against his going, he just totally dismissed them. So, it was not an easy thing to break through that barrier of awe and reverence. Of course, there’s always awe and reverence. It’s never like kṛṣṇa-līlā. With Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, there is affection, but there is always respect, it’s not like kṛṣṇa-līlā. But there was some parallel, and it really did seem as if Srila Prabhupada was drawing out that love from his disciples.

And Tamal Krishna Goswami then said something like, “The way you’re dealing with us, you make us so mad with love, we don’t know what to do.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “That is my duty.” [laughter] And it’s not that the other disciples were wrong, they were just acting on their realization of what they thought was the proper way to serve the spiritual master. But from what I got out of reading these verses and purports, I concluded that those disciples who were close to Srila Prabhupada and were expressing their love to him and asking him to stay and not wanting him to suffer and perhaps or likely die on the way, I took it that their love was stronger, and so Prabhupada agreed to be bound by their love.

Of course, one could say, “Well, not that their love was stronger, their controlling tendencies were stronger.” [laughter] But, I mean, that could be said maybe of one or two. [laughter] But I don’t think that could be said of Bhakti Caru Swami or Bhakti Svarupa Damodara Maharaja. And I think they were all actually united by their intense love for Srila Prabhupada. And he willingly agreed to be bound by their love, that’s how I took it. And it was just the perfect instruction for the month of Damodara.

Now, this question of binding Krishna. Of course, we have discussed in a philosophical way how to bind Krishna, how to capture Krishna. Earlier, during Srila Prabhupada’s last months, or weeks, Tamal Krishna Goswami had commented to Srila Prabhupada, “Srila Prabhupada, your disciples love you so much.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “Your love for me will be shown by how much you cooperate after I leave.” Anyone can say, “I love you,” but what is the proof? What is the evidence? What is the test that we have to pass that demonstrates that love? So, Srila Prabhupada said, “Your love for me will be shown by how much you cooperate after I leave.”

There was another little exchange in those days before Srila Prabhupada left. One of the sannyasis from the Gaudiya Matha, a disciple, one of Srila Prabhupada’s godbrothers, came and requested Srila Prabhupada to tell his disciples not to act with any personal motivation. And Srila Prabhupada, he was lying on his bed and there were disciples gathered around him in the room, and he responded, “Don’t fight. I’ve given directions in my books.”

Now, that’s also a very profound statement—a series of three statements, actually. One was, “Ask them not to act with any self-interest.” And Prabhupada translated that, “Don’t fight.” In other words, where there’s self-interest, there tends to be fighting for what one considers one’s own interest to be. And we see it all the time. I mean, the whole world is full of that type of fighting.

And then, someone may say, “Well, we’re not fighting over self-interest, we’re fighting for what you stood for, we’re fighting to execute your will, execute your desire.” So, an answer to that hypothetical question or argument, Srila Prabhupada said, “I’ve given direction in my books.” It’s not a mystery what Srila Prabhupada wanted, he’s given direction in his books. So, if we don’t have self-interest and we read his books with an open mind and open heart to understand what he wants, we will get direction from his books.

It’s amazing, the difference between reading his books without self-interest or personal motivation and reading with. Like we discussed the other day, all sorts of deviant groups trace their authority to Srila Prabhupada. After Chaitanya Mahaprabhu left, there were so many deviant sects, but they all traced their authority to Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, but they were not actually following Him. So, if we read with open minds and open hearts, really sincere about understanding what Krishna wants, what Prabhupada wants, we will get unlimited direction. But if we have some motivation, then we’ll look for something that supports what we want.

And then there’s the other category, unfortunately. I don’t know how many fall in that category, but there’s ones who don’t read the books. They just have their own sentimental ideas about what Krishna consciousness is, or some concocted ideas.

I mean, I was preoccupied with this question, this controversy. I felt I got direction from Prabhupada’s books. I was just trying to understand, I didn’t really identify with one side or the other. I felt I got the answer. I just opened to these verses, and I felt I got the answer. And now, thirty-three years later, I still think I got the answer to my particular question at that particular time.

And chanting, offenseless chanting. Satsvarupa dasa asked Srila Prabhupada, “Now you are with us, so we can take our questions to you. But after you leave, how will we get our questions answered?” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “The Holy Name of Krishna is not different from Krishna. Do you realize this fact?” So, if we understand, have faith, understand and have faith are more or less the same, if we understand or have faith that the holy name of Krishna is not different from Krishna and we chant in that mood, which automatically means without offense, if we chant in that mood, we will get our questions answered.

So, as Srila Prabhupada often said, it’s a transcendental science. It’s not a matter of imaginative ecstasy or mental speculation, it’s a science. And he gave us a scientific process. And if we follow it, we will get the results. And if we deviate on one side or the other, there will be problems. Of course, there’s always problems in the material world, but there will be different sorts of problems, more disturbing to our hearts.

So, on this occasion, we pray to Srila Prabhupada to bless us, to enlighten our hearts with transcendental knowledge, that we may get clear direction how to go forward individually, in our personal devotional service, and collectively, in our efforts to serve his mission and spread his glories and preach his message. Hare Krishna.

Devotees: Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!