CC Adi 5.204–223 – Merciful Nityananda, Fallen Me

Giriraj Swami: So, as is the practice here in ISKCON Dallas, we shall read from Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta on Sunday morning. At present, we are reading Ādi-līlā, Chapter Five, “The Glories of Lord Nityānanda,” and we have come to Text Two Hundred and Four. In this series of verses, the author of Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami, is explaining how Lord Nityananda was merciful to him personally by instructing him to go to Vrindavan, and by blessing him in different ways in Vrindavan. Please repeat after me.

jaya jaya śrī-caitanya jaya nityānanda

jayādvaita-candra jaya gaura-bhakta-vṛnda

Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Ādi-līlā, Chapter Five,

TEXT 204

jaya jaya nityānanda-caraṇāravinda
yāṅhā haite pāinu śrī-rādhā-govinda

TRANSLATION

All glory, all glory to the lotus feet of Lord Nityānanda, by whose mercy I have attained Śrī Rādhā-Govinda!

PURPORT by Srila Prabhupada

Śrīla Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura, who is famous for his poetic composition known as Prārthanā, has lamented in one of his prayers, “When will Lord Nityānanda be merciful upon me so that I will forget all material desires?” Śrīla Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura confirms that unless one is freed from material desires to satisfy the needs of the body and senses, one cannot understand the transcendental abode of Lord Kṛṣṇa, Vṛndāvana. He also confirms that one cannot understand the loving affairs of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa without going through the direction of the six Gosvāmīs. In another verse Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura has stated that without the causeless mercy of Nityānanda Prabhu, one cannot enter into the affairs of Rādhā and Kṛṣṇa.

COMMENT

So, many of you are familiar with these beautiful prayers or songs from Prārthanā. Narottama dasa Thakura is asking, “When will Lord Nityananda be merciful to me and free me from material desires? Then I will be able to enter Sri Vrindavan dhāma.” And so, the two types of desires; material and spiritual, are incompatible. Some people try to blur the distinction between material desires and spiritual desires as a way of perpetuating their pursuit of sense gratification or mental speculation. But all of our acharyas have instructed us to accept spiritual desires but give up material desires, or put in other terms, to transfer our desires from personal sense gratification to Krishna’s pleasure.

Here in the Ādi-līlā of Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, the author gives two definitions. One of love, priti or prema, and the other of lust, or kāma. And he says that the desire to gratify one’s own senses is kāma, and the desire to gratify Krishna’s transcendental senses is priti, or prema. So, we cannot stop desire. The impersonalists; Mayavadis and Shunya-vadis, they try to deny desire, or stamp out desire, extinguish desire. But that is not possible. The living being, the individual soul, by nature, has desires. Now, we agree with the impersonalists that material desires lead to misery. And so, we agree with them that we should become free from material desires, but their approach of negation will not work. We cannot give up something for nothing. We can give up something lesser for something greater. Just like if you have a ten-dollar bill and someone says, “Give up the ten-dollar bill.” You will say, “No, why should I?” But if someone says, “If you give me your ten-dollar bill, I will give you a hundred-dollar bill,” “Well, all right, I can do that.” So, we give up the lesser thing for the greater thing, we give up sense gratification and material desires for spiritual desires and transcendental happiness. And the medium by which we can give up our material attachments and become free to serve Radha and Govinda in Vrindavan is Lord Nityananda, or the mercy of Lord Nityananda.

A vivid example of another recipient of Nityananda Prabhu’s mercy is Raghunatha dasa. Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, in his earlier days, was born in an extraordinarily wealthy family in Bengal. His father and uncle, Hiranya and Govardhana Majumdar, had a monthly income of one million two hundred thousand rupees then. Srila Prabhupada said they were like kings. And if you visit even the remains of their estate, you can imagine just how opulent they were. They had a huge estate on the banks of the Ganges. They had their own boat launch, and they were like kings. And Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, as a young lad, had the association of many great devotees. His father and uncle were Vaishnavas, and they were very generous. It is said that they were supporting the whole brahman community of the area. And their family priest was Yadunandan Acharya who was a disciple of Advaita Acharya. And they invited nāmācārya Srila Haridasa Thakura to their assembly, they would have satsaṅga and invite Haridasa Thakura. And so, Raghunatha dasa got the mercy of many great souls as a young man. But although he wanted to leave his family and join Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, he could not escape. He met Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and expressed his heartfelt desire to Him, but Mahaprabhu said, “You return home and perform your worldly duties very expertly, and in due course, by the mercy of Krishna, you will be freed from the shackles of family life.”

The turning point came when Lord Nityananda came to Panihati and celebrated the Cida-dadhi festival. That is a wonderful story, but we do not have time to recount it now. But at the end of the festival, Raghunatha dasa distributed charity to Nityananda Prabhu and His immediate associates and to all of the associates of Nityananda Prabhu. And Nityananda Prabhu blessed him, “Very soon, you will receive the mercy of Krishna, you will be freed from the shackles of family life, and you will join Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu in Puri, and He will place you under the care of Srila Svarupa Damodara Gosvami, and you will become His personal assistant.” And all that Nityananda Prabhu said came true. In a similar way, Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami received the mercy of Nityananda Prabhu, and as a result, he attained Vrindavan and the lotus feet of Radha-Govinda and so many other transcendental personalities in Vrindavan.

Now, how to get the mercy of Nityananda Prabhu? The mercy of Lord Nityananda is so crucial. How do we get it? Of course, Nityananda Prabhu is represented by the spiritual master, so in broad terms, we can say that by following the instructions of the spiritual master, who is the representative of Nityananda Prabhu, one will get the mercy of Lord Nityananda, which is certainly true. The Lord Nityananda had a specific nature, or we could say a specific desire, that we should reclaim the fallen souls. Again, there is a wonderful account in Śrī Caitanya-bhāgavata of the deliverance of Jagai and Madhai by the mercy of Nityananda Prabhu. And again, I am sure many of you know the story that Jagai and Madhai were very sinful debauchees, but in the end, they were delivered by Lord Nityananda’s mercy. And Nityananda Prabhu thought, If these two most degraded, fallen souls are delivered, then the glory of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, as the deliverer of the fallen souls, patit pavan, will be magnified. So, He wanted to increase the glories of Lord Chaitanya.

So, in one class, Srila Prabhupada said, I have mentioned it before, that in order to approach Radha and Krishna, one must get the mercy of Lord Chaitanya. And in order to get the mercy of Lord Chaitanya, one must get the mercy of Lord Nityananda. Raghunatha dasa wanted to join Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, but he was successful only when he got the mercy of Sri Nityananda Prabhu. And one can get the mercy of Nityananda Prabhu by approaching people like Jagai and Madhai, like we did yesterday, or whenever we do hari-nāma-saṅkīrtana, we do. But there are some special occasions where we can distribute a lot of mercy and get a lot of mercy, such as the Saint Patrick’s Day parade, the Halloween block party. So, these are very precious opportunities for us to confront the fallen souls with Lord Nityananda’s mercy, with the holy name, with prasāda, with transcendental literature. And that pleases Lord Nityananda immensely, and when He is pleased, He gives us His mercy. Of course, it is a gradual process, it is not that we just go out once and, “Okay, well, I approached people like Jagai and Madhai so where is the mercy?” But it has to be a sustained, deliberate effort. And gradually, as you demonstrate your sincerity in that effort, Lord Nityananda will give you His mercy more and more, until finally, our hearts are clean enough that we can approach Radha-Govinda.

TEXT 205

jagāi mādhāi haite muñi se pāpiṣṭha
purīṣera kīṭa haite muñi se laghiṣṭha

TRANSLATION

I am more sinful than Jagāi and Mādhāi and even lower than the worms in the stool.

COMMENT

Now, here Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami is expressing abject humility, deep Vaishnava humility. That is also a qualification for receiving Lord Nityananda’s mercy, to be humble. When one is humble, he is a candidate for the Lord’s mercy. If one is proud of one’s material qualifications, or achievements, or birth, or whatever, he will not be open to Lord Nityananda’s mercy. Again, as Narottama dasa Thakura sings in his song, Nitai Pada Kamala—bṛthā janma, that if one does not establish a relationship with Lord Nityananda his life is useless, and his vidyā-kule knowledge and birth and good family or community is all useless, in fact, they are impediments. So here, Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami is glorifying Nityananda Prabhu as extremely merciful because He delivered someone as extremely low, in Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami’s estimation, as himself.

TEXT 206

mora nāma śune yei tāra puṇya kṣaya
mora nāma laya yei tāra pāpa haya

TRANSLATION

Anyone who hears my name loses the results of his pious activities. Anyone who utters my name becomes sinful.

COMMENT

Now, this is deep humility, which we cannot imitate. But that is the humility of a true Vaishnava. Narottama dasa Thakura also sings Patita Pavana patita-pāvana-hetu tava avatāra mo sama patita prabhu nā pāibe āra. He prays to Lord Chaitanya and Lord Nityananda, “You are known as Patita Pavana, the deliverer of the fallen, and no one is more fallen than me. So, you should save me first.” Now, this is how true Vaishnavas think and feel. But it will not help us to artificially adopt. Well, it could help, I mean, as Prabhupada said, “Imitation of a good thing can also be good.” So, if we act in a humble way, we can develop the qualities of humility. In the early days of ISKCON, Gargamuni dasa, one of the first devotees to join Srila Prabhupada, saw that the devotees were bowing down in the temple. And he told Srila Prabhupada that in his heart, he doesn’t really feel like bowing down, but should he do it anyway? And Srila Prabhupada said, “Yes, if you practice bowing down, the feeling will follow.” Once, I asked His Holiness Radhanath Swami about his humility, and he said it was a matter of practice, that in the beginning he had to practice acting as a humble servant, and then eventually, by practice, it became natural.

But the mind is so crooked, and maya is so tricky, that we can become proud of our humility. We can do some humble service and become proud, “Oh, I am so qualified, I have this academic qualification, I have this job, but I am still doing menial service.” Then what is that? It is just another manifestation of pride. Once, a disciple approached Srila Prabhupada and said, “Srila Prabhupada, I am the most fallen.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “You are not the most anything.” Because he knew it was artificial, it was just a pretense, so Prabhupada just saw through it, cut through it.

TEXT 207

emana nirghṛṇa more kebā kṛpā kare
eka nityānanda vinu jagat bhitare

TRANSLATION

Who in this world but Nityānanda could show His mercy to such an abominable person as me?

TEXT 208

preme matta nityānanda kṛpā-avatāra
uttama, adhama, kichu nā kare vicāra

TRANSLATION

Because He is intoxicated by ecstatic love and is an incarnation of mercy, He does not distinguish between the good and the bad.

TEXT 209

ye āge paḍaye, tāre karaye nistāra
ataeva nistārilā mo-hena durācāra

TRANSLATION

He delivers all those who fall down before Him. Therefore He has delivered such a sinful and fallen person as me.

COMMENT

So this is the secret of success, to fall down before Nityananda Prabhu, which is possible when one is humble. Otherwise, we will think, “Well, why should I fall down before Nityananda Prabhu? What do I need from Him so great as I am?”

TEXT 210

mo-pāpiṣṭhe ānilena śrī-vṛndāvana
mo-hena adhame dilā śrī-rūpa-caraṇa

TRANSLATION

Although I am sinful and I am the most fallen, He has conferred upon me the lotus feet of Śrī Rūpa Gosvāmī.

COMMENT

Of course, Rupa Gosvami is the leader of the Six Gosvamis, and by the mercy of Srila Rupa Gosvami, one can understand the confidential pastimes of Radha and Govinda and enter into their confidential service.

TEXT 211

śrī-madana-gopāla-śrī-govinda-daraśana
kahibāra yogya nahe e-saba kathana

TRANSLATION

I am not fit to speak all these confidential words about my visiting Lord Madana Gopāla and Lord Govinda.

TEXT 212

vṛndāvana-purandara śrī-madana-gopāla
rāsa-vilāsī sākṣāt vrajendra-kumāra

TRANSLATION

Lord Madana Gopāla, the chief Deity of Vṛndāvana, is the enjoyer of the rāsa dance and is directly the son of the King of Vraja.

TEXT 213

śrī-rādhā-lalitā-saṅge rāsa-vilāsa
manmatha-manmatha-rūpe yāṅhāra prakāśa

TRANSLATION

He enjoys the rāsa dance with Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī, Śrī Lalitā and others. He manifests Himself as the Cupid of Cupids.

TEXT 214

tāsām āvirabhūc chauriḥ
smayamāna-mukhāmbujaḥ
pītāmbara-dharaḥ sragvī
sākṣān manmatha-manmathaḥ

TRANSLATION

“Wearing yellow garments and decorated with a flower garland, Lord Kṛṣṇa, appearing among the gopīs with His smiling lotus face, looked directly like the charmer of the heart of Cupid.”

PURPORT

This is a quotation from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.32.2).

COMMENT

Now, the striking fact in these last verses is that Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami is not distinguishing between the deity of Krishna and Krishna Himself, he is seeing the deity as Krishna Himself, as more enchanting than Cupid, as the enjoyer of the rasa dance. And that also comes by purification and by humility. Humility comes when we no longer identify with the body, we are proud only in relation to the body and mind. Otherwise, we have nothing to be proud of. So, pride comes with false identification with the body, or you could say, with the material concept of life. And in the material concept of life, one sees the deity as a stone, or metal, or wood. And that is actually an offensive mentality. But anyone who identifies with the body is bound to commit offenses. There is one verse, that one who sees the deity as made of stone, or metal, or wood, one who sees the spiritual master as an ordinary man, one who sees a Vaishnava as belonging to a particular community, yasya vā nārakī saḥ: He has a hellish mentality, or sometimes Srila Prabhupada says he is a resident of hell. So, all of these mistakes are committed in body consciousness. We think, “I am the body, the body is real. And the deity, it is just stone. Why should I bow down before the deity? The deity is just stone. The spiritual master is just an ordinary human being, just like everyone else. He also has a body made of flesh and bones. Why should I bow down to him? He is just an ordinary man.”

And then, to think of Vaishnavas in terms of the body, one can actually feel superior, “Oh, these are mlechchha Vaishnavas or yavana Vaishnavas, I am a brahman Vaishnava, Indian Vaishnava.” So, these are all anarthas, and they have to be purified. And again, we purify them by the process of chanting and hearing and serving the deities, serving the devotees and preaching. Preaching means chanting and hearing but in a way that others also hear, that others also benefit. So, because Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami was purified in heart, and the recipient of Lord Nityananda’s mercy, he received the mercy of the deities in Vrindavan, but he wasn’t seeing Them as deities, as if They were different from the Lord, he was seeing Madan Gopal or Madan Mohan as manmataha, the same Krishna as described in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam.

TEXT 215

sva-mādhurye lokera mana kare ākarṣaṇa
dui pāśe rādhā lalitā karena sevana

TRANSLATION

With Rādhā and Lalitā serving Him on His two sides, He attracts the hearts of all by His own sweetness.

COMMENT

So, this deity was moved, like many of the original deities in Vrindavan was moved from Vrindavan to escape the mogul tyrants’ attacks. So he is now in Karauli. And Madan Mohan, that name Madan—Cupid, and Mohan—who attracts even Cupid, He also helps us become free of material desires because the basic material desire, the strongest material desire, based on the body, is sex attraction or Cupid. Cupid is synonymous with sex attraction, or Cupid is the demigod in charge of such material attraction. So, Madan Mohan is so attractive that He attracts even Cupid. So, if we become attracted by Madan Mohan, we will lose any attraction we have for the mundane Cupid. And this deity is like that; on one side is Srimati Radharani, and on the other side is Sri Lalita devi. But how did Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami get that mercy?

TEXT 216

nityānanda-dayā more tāṅre dekhāila
śrī-rādhā-madana-mohane prabhu kari’ dila

TRANSLATION

The mercy of Lord Nityānanda showed me Śrī Madana-mohana and gave me Śrī Madana-mohana as my Lord and master.

COMMENT

If you think, “Well, anyone can see Madan Mohan, just buy a ticket and go to India, go to Vrindavan.” But that seeing a stone statue is not seeing Madan Mohan. But by the mercy of Nityananda Prabhu, one can actually see Madan Mohan. And seeing Madan Mohan means being attracted to Him as the enchanter of Cupid, which means losing all other mundane attraction.

TEXT 217

mo-adhame dila śrī-govinda daraśana
kahibāra kathā nahe akathya-kathana

TRANSLATION

He granted to one as low as me the sight of Lord Govinda. Words cannot describe this, nor is it fit to be disclosed.

COMMENT

Now, there is an injunction that a devotee or Vaishnava should not disclose his personal bhajana. The reason is that if we tell others about our personal spiritual practices, they may be impressed, and we may become proud. That is why, in general, devotees don’t disclose their vrata, Kartik vrata or other vratas. Otherwise, “Oh, you are chanting so many rounds, oh, wow, you are really great.” “Yes, I actually come to think of it, I am. How many people are chanting that many rounds?” And then again, everything goes to hell. So in general, one does not disclose his personal spiritual practice, or special mercy that he has received, because again, it can become a sort of advertisement, “Oh, I got Nityananda’s mercy and you haven’t. I see the deity as Krishna, you still see the deity as stone.” And then the other reason we don’t disclose confidential facts is that non-devotees may misunderstand and think that we are just sentimental, that it is all in our mind, it is all in our imagination. And for that reason also, some things are kept confidential. So, Srila Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami is saying that these things are not fit to disclose because they are so personal and confidential. On the one hand, if he discloses them, people might think that he is great, and that would be a disturbance to him, or non-believers, faithless people, they might think he is just speaking nonsense, that he is imagining the whole thing and it has no tangible reality outside of his mind. But he is disclosing it nonetheless because he wants to proclaim the mercy of Lord Nityananda to the world, and he is saying, “Lord Nityananda’s mercy is so great that He has bestowed it even on one as fallen as me,” and he can say that with true conviction and realization. Not that it is true, but that is the way he sees himself and it is not artificial and it can’t be changed by praise or glorification. But otherwise, we do have to be careful. Now, he is discussing the darshan of Govinda Ji.

TEXT 218–219

vṛndāvane yoga-pīṭhe kalpa-taru-vane
ratna-maṇḍapa, tāhe ratna-siṁhāsane
śrī-govinda vasiyāchena vrajendra-nandana
mādhurya prakāśi’ karena jagat Mohana

TRANSLATION

On an altar made of gems in the principal temple of Vṛndāvana, amidst a forest of desire trees, Lord Govinda, the son of the King of Vraja, sits upon a throne of gems and manifests His full glory and sweetness, thus enchanting the entire world.

TEXT 220

vāma-pārśve śrī-rādhikā sakhī-gaṇa-saṅge
rāsādika-līlā prabhu kare kata raṅge

TRANSLATION

By His left side is Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī and Her personal friends. With them Lord Govinda enjoys the rāsa-līlā and many other pastimes.

TEXT 221

yāṅra dhyāna nija-loke kare padmāsana
aṣṭādaśākṣara-mantre kare upāsana

TRANSLATION

Lord Brahmā, sitting on his lotus seat in his own abode, always meditates on Him and worships Him with the mantra consisting of eighteen syllables.

PURPORT

In his own planet, Lord Brahmā, with the inhabitants of that planet, worships the form of Lord Govinda.

COMMENT

Govindam ādi-puruṣaṁ tam ahaṁ bhajāmi.

PURPORT (continued)

Kṛṣṇa, by the mantra of eighteen syllables, klīṁ kṛṣṇāya govindāya gopī-jana-vallabhāya svāhā. Those who are initiated by a bona fide spiritual master and who chant the Gāyatrī mantra three times a day know this aṣṭādaśākṣara (eighteen-syllable) mantra. The inhabitants of Brahmaloka and the planets below Brahmaloka worship Lord Govinda by meditating with this mantra.

COMMENT

So, it is said that these three names of the Lord mentioned in the mantra; Krishna—refers to Madan Mohan, Govinda—refers to Govinda, and Gopijana-Vallabha—refers to Gopinatha, these are the three principal deities of Vrindavan, and They help us in three different ways. Madan Mohan is the deity for sambandha-jñāna, He helps us establish our relationship with Krishna. He specifically was the deity of Srila Sanatana Gosvami. And Govinda helps us act in our relationship, abhidheya, He was the deity of Srila Rupa Gosvami. And then Gopinatha, He is worshipped and served on the platform of prema, which is prayojana, the ultimate goal.

PURPORT (continued)

There is no difference between meditating and chanting, but in the present age meditation is not possible on this planet.

COMMENT

In other words, it may be possible in Brahmaloka, but not here. So, we should not imitate.

PURPORT (continued)

Therefore loud chanting of a mantra like the mahā-mantra, Hare Kṛṣṇa, with soft chanting of the aṣṭādaśākṣara, the mantra of eighteen syllables, is recommended.

Lord Brahmā lives in the highest planetary system, known as Brahmaloka or Satyaloka. In every planet there is a predominating deity. As the predominating deity in Satyaloka is Lord Brahmā, so in the heavenly planets Indra is the predominating deity, and on the sun, the sun-god, Vivasvān, is the predominating deity. The inhabitants and predominating deities of every planet are all recommended to worship Govinda either by meditation or by chanting.

COMMENT

There is quite an elaborate discussion about meditating and chanting in Śrī Bṛhad-bhāgavatāmṛta, or between smaraṇam and kīrtanam. And the conclusion is that kīrtanam is even better than smaraṇam. And certainly, for us it is better and more practical.

TEXT 222

caudda-bhuvane yāṅra sabe kare dhyāna
vaikuṇṭhādi-pure yāṅra līlā-guṇa gāna

TRANSLATION

Everyone in the fourteen worlds meditates upon Him, and all the denizens of Vaikuṇṭha sing of His qualities and pastimes.

TEXT 223

yāṅra mādhurīte kare lakṣmī ākarṣaṇa
rūpa-gosāñi kariyāchena se-rūpa varṇana

TRANSLATION

The goddess of fortune is attracted by His sweetness, which Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī has described in this way:

COMMENT

I will just read one or two more verses.

PURPORT

Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī, in his Laghu-bhāgavatāmṛta, has quoted from the Padma Purāṇa, where it is stated that Lakṣmī-devī, the goddess of fortune, after seeing the attractive features of Lord Kṛṣṇa, was attracted to Him, and to get the favor of Lord Kṛṣṇa she engaged herself in meditation. When asked by Kṛṣṇa why she engaged in meditation with austerity, Lakṣmī-devī answered, “I want to be one of Your associates like the gopīs in Vṛndāvana.” Hearing this, Lord Śrī Kṛṣṇa replied that it was quite impossible. Lakṣmī-devī then said that she wanted to remain just like a golden line on the chest of the Lord. The Lord granted the request, and since then Lakṣmī has always been situated on the chest of Lord Kṛṣṇa as a golden line. The austerity and meditation of Lakṣmī-devī are also mentioned in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.16.36), where the Nāga-patnīs, the wives of the serpent Kāliya, in the course of their prayers to Kṛṣṇa, said that the goddess of fortune, Lakṣmī, also wanted His association as a gopī and desired the dust of His lotus feet.

COMMENT

 So, these statements are very attractive and inspiring, but they can also be challenging because from the mundane perspective, and we are all steeped in it, especially in the Western world, and of course, the Western approach is spreading almost everywhere, that skeptical mind doubts. Is this real or are these just stories? And it is especially prominent in academic circles, and unfortunately, all the more so in the academic study of religion. And to enter the academic study of religion is very risky. Unless someone is very strong and powerful and convinced and loyal like Tamal Krishna Goswami, it can be very risky.

Tamal Krishna Goswami became good friends, his, I guess, undergraduate advisor, Lani Cleaver, it turned out that Lani Cleaver was a demon. He had been aspiring to be a priest, and when he underwent the academic critical study of religion, he lost his faith. Demon means, yes, he dressed in a suit and tie but he was a demon. And he actually told Tamal Krishna Goswami, “Just as my faith. . .” But now he is seeing it not as faith, but as illusion, sentiment, faith and sentiment. “Just as I was freed from my illusions by the critical study of religion, I am determined to break your faith, free you from the same illusion.” So, how many people can withstand that type of attack? And he has a PhD, he is your professor, he is your mentor. And that sort of skeptical, critical deconstructionist approach is everywhere, the whole atmosphere is filled with it. So, it is hard to hear these statements without some doubt coming in one’s mind, “Is this real? Are these just stories?” Anyway, we are taking it on the authority of Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami that they are real. And we have been blessed in ISKCON with devotees who have had realization of the absolute reality of Krishna consciousness.

Now I think of Mother Kirtida right in the community here. Of course, it does come back to faith. A skeptical person could doubt even what I am going to say, but she saw in her room Krishna and Balarama. Mother Kirtida, why would she. . .? Anyway. So, if you have faith in her words, which I do, well then okay, they are real, it is not just in the mind, they are real. And how did she come to the stage where she could experience that reality? She came to that stage by following the same practices that we are being advised to follow, nothing extraordinary. Of course, she took the instructions to heart. She had great faith in her spiritual master, in the process of Krishna consciousness, in the senior devotees, in Srila Prabhupada, and she really was a selfless servant, but she didn’t accept any practices that are not available to us. And in fact, she followed the same process that we are all meant to be following. But because she did it wholeheartedly, without reservation, as a selfless servant, she was able to see the deity the way Krishnadasa Kaviraja is speaking.

One day, I actually got a phone call from her when she was close to the end. In fact, initially, the person on the line was Tamal Krishna Goswami, he was acting. I answered the phone, “Goswami Maharaja?” “Mother Kirtida would like to speak with you.” He was acting as her secretary. And Mother Kirtida had just seen a photograph of my deities, Gandharva Giridhari, two govardhana-śilās and she was in ecstasy. And she wasn’t seeing deities or a picture of deities, she was seeing Radha and Krishna, and she was in ecstasy. And she said, “I am seeing the deities, and they are so beautiful, and now I know why you don’t want to leave Carpinteria, you have everything there.” And the way the śilās are shaped, Radharani, it is just the way They are. His Holiness Indradyumna Swami helped me with Them. Anyway, too many interesting stories to tell in one class time. But yes, he placed these two śilās next to each other, and there were a number of maybe six śilās that we were considering, and he just had the idea, placed the two next to each other and he said, “Who did these look like?” And it was obvious they were Radha and Krishna.

So, when one of the devotees brought a photograph of these deities to Mother Kirtida, one of them said, “Oh, look, it is like Srimati Radharani is melting into Krishna.” And Mother Kirtida said, “Not melting into Krishna, She is melted.” She was seeing Krishna; she wasn’t seeing śilās. And a photo of śilās is even one more step removed, she wasn’t seeing a photo of śilās, she wasn’t seeing śilās, she was seeing Radha and Krishna. And that was achieved by selfless service and following the same instructions and process that we have all been given. Hare Krishna.

Well, when I look at that clock, which is set according to daylight saving, I think, “Oh my God, it is almost 10:00.” But when I look at my watch, “No, it is almost nine, that is not so late.” Well, I did want to finish these two verses because. . . Oh no, I was thinking that. . . No, I will leave these for the next fortunate soul who gets to read it. All right, thank you very much, Hare Krishna. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.