CC Madhya 19.151 – Pandava Sena Youth Retreat—Watering the Seed of Bhakti

Giriraj Swami: Good morning. We will read two verses from Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta about how one receives the seed of bhakti, and how one should become a gardener and sow that seed within one’s heart and water it by chanting and hearing about Krishna. Chanting and hearing about Krishna means in the association of devotees. So, we have all gathered on this retreat to associate with devotees. And what do devotees do when they get together? They chant and hear about Krishna. And thus, they water the creeper of devotion within their hearts. So, we will begin with Text One Fifty-one. Please repeat after me.

jaya jaya śrī-caitanya jaya nityānanda

jayādvaita-candra jaya gaura-bhakta-vṛnda

⁠Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā, Chapter Nineteen, “The Lord Instructs Śrīla Rūpa Gosvāmī,”

TEXT 151

brahmāṇḍa bhramite kona bhāgyavān jīva

guru-kṛṣṇa-prasāde pāya bhakti-latā-bīja

TRANSLATION

“According to their karma, all living entities are wandering throughout the entire universe. Some of them are being elevated to the upper planetary systems, and some are going down into the lower planetary systems. Out of many millions of wandering living entities, one who is very fortunate gets an opportunity to associate with a bona fide spiritual master by the grace of Kṛṣṇa. By the mercy of both Kṛṣṇa and the spiritual master, such a person receives the seed of the creeper of devotional service.

PURPORT by Srila Prabhupada

When we speak of brahmāṇḍa, we refer to the whole universe, or to the cluster of many millions of universes. In all the universes there are innumerable planets, and there are innumerable living entities upon those planets — in the air, on land and in the water. There are millions and trillions of living entities everywhere, and they are engaged by māyā in suffering and enjoying the results of their fruitive activity, life after life. This is the position of the materially conditioned living entities. Out of many of these living entities, one who is actually fortunate (bhāgyavān) comes in contact with a bona fide spiritual master by Kṛṣṇa’s mercy.

Kṛṣṇa is situated in everyone’s heart, and if one desires something, Kṛṣṇa fulfills one’s desire. If the living entity by chance or fortune comes in contact with the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement and wishes to associate with that movement, Kṛṣṇa, who is situated in everyone’s heart, gives him the chance to meet a bona fide spiritual master. This is called guru-kṛṣṇa-prasāda. Kṛṣṇa is prepared to bestow His mercy upon all living entities, and as soon as a living entity desires the Lord’s mercy, the Lord immediately gives him an opportunity to meet a bona fide spiritual master. Such a fortunate person is fortified by both Kṛṣṇa and the spiritual master. He is helped from within by Kṛṣṇa and from without by the spiritual master. Both are prepared to help the sincere living being become free from material bondage.

How one can become this fortunate can be seen in the life of Śrīla Nārada Muni. In his previous life he was born of a maidservant. Although he was not born into a prestigious position, his mother was fortunately engaged in rendering service to some Vaiṣṇavas. When these Vaiṣṇavas were resting during the Cāturmāsya period, the boy Nārada took the opportunity to engage in their service. Taking compassion upon the boy, the Vaiṣṇavas offered him the remnants of their food. By serving these Vaiṣṇavas and obeying their orders, the boy became the object of their sympathy, and by the Vaiṣṇavas’ unknown mercy, he gradually became a pure devotee. In the next life he was Nārada Muni, the most exalted of Vaiṣṇavas and the most important guru and ācārya of Vaiṣṇavas.

Following in the footsteps of Nārada Muni, this Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is rendering service to humanity by giving everyone a chance to come in contact with Kṛṣṇa. If one is fortunate, he becomes intimately related with this movement. Then, by the grace of Kṛṣṇa, one’s life becomes successful. Everyone has dormant kṛṣṇa-bhakti — love for Kṛṣṇa — and in the association of good devotees, that love is revealed. As stated in the Caitanya-caritāmṛta (Madhya 22.107):

nitya-siddha-kṛṣṇa-prema ‘sādhya’ kabhu naya
śravaṇādi-śuddha-citte karaye udaya

Dormant devotional service to Kṛṣṇa is within everyone. Simply by associating with devotees, hearing their good instructions and chanting the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra, dormant love for Kṛṣṇa is awakened. In this way one acquires the seed of devotional service. Guru-kṛṣṇa-prasāde pāya bhakti-latā-bīja.

COMMENT

So, this verse and purport describes pretty much everyone in this room. Somehow, by chance or good fortune, you have come in contact with the Krishna consciousness movement. Now, we may have come here for different reasons, I am sure that different participants in the room have come for different reasons, but why we have come is not as important as the fact that we are here. In the Bhagavad-gītā, Lord Krishna says catur-vidhā bhajante māṁ, that different types of people come to Him for different reasons. Some are in distress and they want relief, some are in need of something material and so they come to Him, some are just curious, or inquisitive, “What is this anyway? Let me see, let me try, let me experience,” and those who are seeking the absolute truth. But all of them are considered pious because they have come to Krishna, not everyone does.

People who are in similar situations; in distress, in want of something material, or curious, they may go elsewhere and not come to Krishna. So, those who come to Krishna, all of you, are considered pious and fortunate. But having come to Krishna, having come to the association of devotees, at every stage, one still has one’s free will, one’s minute independence to what extent one will associate with the movement, and as a corollary, to what extent one will benefit from the association. Sometimes, Srila Prabhupada would give the example of licking the outside of a jar of honey to taste the honey. Of course, if you want to know what honey tastes like, you can’t just lick the outside of the bottle, you have to go inside and taste the honey. So, it is possible that even having come so close to Krishna and Krishna consciousness, that one will still remain an outsider, someone on the outside looking in and hoping to get some taste but not really entering. So we want to enter, we want to go deep inside, and then we will get the real taste of the sweetness of Krishna consciousness.

In my own case. . .it is not generally recommended to speak about oneself, especially in such an exalted assembly, but just to illustrate what we have read, and probably everyone, every devotee in Krishna consciousness could tell his or her story because they all follow the course explained here in the scriptures. Scriptures are not some remote body of knowledge, but they are the experiences of souls who have realized Krishna consciousness, and everyone who comes to Krishna consciousness has similar realizations. Of course, one could go back earlier, but let us say when I was in high school, I always wanted to do good for others. So, I began thinking that if I became a doctor, I would be able to help others. And I became the president of the future doctors association, and I would organize field trips to hospitals. Once we even went to a psychiatric hospital. And so, that was what I was thinking, that I could do good for others by becoming a doctor. So, then I went to the university, and I found that there were many students who were physically healthy, but were still suffering. In fact, some of them were suffering more than people who were just suffering from physical ailments.

In fact, there was one student in my dormitory who I liked a lot and I was friends with him, tried to befriend him, but sometimes he would just go in his room and close the door and just lie in bed. And I would go in and try to encourage him but he didn’t respond. And then I realized that it is not so simple, that just by giving someone love, that was another idea I had in high school, that by love, (and I read a book, The Art of Loving, different books) the idea was that love is not a feeling, or not just a feeling, but it is a process. So anyway, I had the idea that by love, you could solve all problems. And I really felt I was giving him love but he couldn’t respond. So, then I thought, Well, this is a little complicated, this isn’t as simple as I thought. So, then I entered the psychology department, and I thought I can help people. I didn’t have that distinction that I have now, but from the framework of the Bhagavad-gītā, you could say I began by trying to help people on the bodily platform and then I realized that wasn’t enough, so I wanted to help them on the mental platform, psychological platform. But then, after a while of studying with the psychologists, I began to see that they were ordinary people, just like anyone else, although they had a certain type of knowledge, but they would quarrel just like ordinary people, they would fight over appointments in the department, they would fight over the budget, how the budget would be allocated, and they were just like anyone else.

I had one professor, Abraham Maslow, who was actually quite a nice person, and highly esteemed in the field. He told us that one day, he had certain symptoms like trembling and perspiring, I don’t remember all the symptoms, and he didn’t know what was happening to him. So, he phoned a colleague and described his symptoms and asked him, and the colleague said, “You are having an anxiety attack.” And professor Maslow told us that he had written chapters in books about anxiety attacks, but when he had one himself, he could not recognize it. And then I understood even more clearly that there is a difference between theoretical knowledge and realized knowledge. So, I wanted someone with real life knowledge. But one good thing about the main thrust of the department led by professor Maslow was not to study rats, (there is a certain school of psychology called behaviorists who study rats), and not to study sick people. That is another big force in psychology, the psychoanalytic school has pretty much studied diseased people. But professor Maslow wanted to study healthy people, and he found certain common characteristics among them.

So anyway, he and the others in the department, they invited many philosophers, Swamis, yogis, Masters, because they were looking for that channel to higher consciousness, to fulfill our higher needs for realization. And over the course of my search, I met many Swamis and yogis and Zen Masters and so on, but in every case, I found some defect. I thought, This is not my perfect master. And finally, I decided to go to India. My best friend from when I was growing up on the North shore of Chicago, he was also in Boston, and so, we decided we would go to India after we graduated and look for a guru. And then, about one month before the end of my senior year, one of my psychology professors arranged a program for Srila Prabhupada, right in the auditorium of the psychology department at the university. Anyway, it is a long story, you can read about it in more detail in the book called Watering the Seed. But the day after the lecture, I went to the small temple in Boston to hear Srila Prabhupada speak and see if he was the perfect master, which I was searching. And after his talk, I asked a question, it was really the question, most burning question for me, “There are so many Swamis and yogis, and each one advocates a different process of self-realization and each one says that his is the best. So, how do I know which is actually the best?” And Srila Prabhupada replied very intelligently, he asked me, “What is your goal? Do you want to become God, or do you want to serve God?”

Now, this was a most intelligent question because I am asking about the means, but he asked me, “Well, what is the end, because the different means will work towards achieving different goals?” And he said, “If you want to become God, that means that you are not God now. And how can not God become God? God is always God; He doesn’t have to become God by yoga or meditation.” And then he said, “Krishna is God when He is playing on the lap of mother Yasoda, He is God when He is speaking the Bhagavad-gītā to Arjuna on the battlefield of Kurukshetra. God is God, He is always God, He doesn’t have to become God.” And then he said, “God is in your heart and He is ready to help you, but if you want to become God, why should God help the competition?” So he said, “God is in you, you can become godly, but you cannot become God.” And then he said that, “God is there to help you, but if you want to become God, you are only cheating yourself. But if you sow the seed of service to God and water it by chanting Hare Krishna, then God will give you sunlight and water, He will give you all the other ingredients and conditions that you need to make that plant grow.

So, this example of planting the seed and watering it was given to me by Srila Prabhupada at my very first meeting with him, and I understood that he was my perfect master, he was the perfect master that I had been seeking. I felt that he knew everything about me. Actually, other than Srila Prabhupada, practically everyone I met and every book that I read about Eastern philosophy or spiritual realization was impersonal. And that was my idea, that you merge and become one with God, or you enter the void and disappear and become one with the void. So, at the end of this discussion, or exchange, Srila Prabhupada asked, “So do you want to become God, or do you want to serve God?” And by then, I understood that the idea of becoming God was not very practical. In fact, it seemed to be a very abominable desire, to want to become God, to take the place of God. And the temple room was full of people, and Prabhupada was asking me, “So? What do you think? Do you want to become God, or do you want to serve God?” And I didn’t want to say that I wanted to become God, so I said, “I want to serve God,” but I knew that I couldn’t cheat Srila Prabhupada, I knew that he knew everything.

In fact, I got the very distinct impression that he was seeing into me, seeing through me, seeing through the walls of the temple, seeing down the roads and freeways, into my apartment, and into my bathroom, and onto the wall of my bathroom where I had written in very ornate lettering with different colors, “YOU ARE GOD.” And I put that up on my bathroom wall just to remind me. So, I felt Prabhupada was looking right into my bathroom, right onto the wall, right onto my beautiful hand-inscribed sign, “YOU ARE GOD.” So, I started to say, “I want to serve God,” but actually, I realized I wanted to become God. And Prabhupada said, “Yes.” So that was it. I knew he was my perfect master; he was the one I had been looking for. And I offered obeisances as a token of surrender, and also because I was afraid to face all the other people in the room because I was sure they were thinking, Oh, he wanted to be God, he wanted to be God. So I felt if I looked around, they would all be glaring at me and frowning, “Oh, he wanted to be God, he wanted to be God.” But then I heard other sounds that indicated that food was being distributed. [laughter] So I thought, Well, maybe people won’t be thinking about me so much, they will probably be enjoying the food, they will be happy and relaxed and I can get up now and they won’t all be glaring at me. And I thought I could also try some of the food.

My first feast was an amazing experience. I saw this amazing array of different shapes, different sizes, different colors, different textures, it was like a work of art in itself. So, I looked, I didn’t know where to begin, so I took something sort of golden-colored and bit into it. And I found on the outside was this golden fried coating, and inside was this soft, I think it was a pakora, and it was like, “Wow!” These different tastes were exploding in my mouth, and chutney and all the varieties, and I was thinking, Everything about this is amazing. The chanting, the philosophy, the food, and the devotees; I love the devotees, such nice devotees. Rukmini devi was one of them, in the Boston temple. She is my older godsister, and yes, she was there. In fact, during that first encounter I had with Srila Prabhupada and the devotees, Rukmini got married. And Srila Prabhupada performed three ceremonies in one, married three couples in one ceremony. And her father came to the ceremony, and it turns out that her family was also from the North shore of Chicago, just the next suburb. I was in Glencoe, and she was in Highland Park. And then later, it turned out that His Holiness Radhanath Swami is also from Highland Park. And once, he came to visit me at my parents’ home in Glencoe, and then he wanted to take me to his old home in Highland Park. So he got in his car, and we timed it, I think nine minutes, nine minutes. [laughter] But we didn’t know each other then, because he was in the Highland Park school district, or in a different school district.

So, that was quite an experience. So, I surrendered, and I knew that I had found my perfect master and this is my path, this is the right path. Then, after a week or so, there was a flurry of activity in the temple. So, I asked the devotees, “What is happening?” And they said, “Srila Prabhupada is leaving.” I said, “Srila Prabhupada is leaving? Where is he going?” They said, “Well, Boston isn’t the only temple we have, there are other temples; we have in New York, Montreal, Los Angeles, San Francisco, about twelve or fourteen temples, and he goes from one to the other. From Boston he was going to Columbus.” “Oh, well, I didn’t know that.” So, then the devotees were going to the airport to see Srila Prabhupada off. So I asked if I could come, “Yes.” So we went, and then at the airport, I saw almost all the devotees were crying. So, then I asked one lady devotee named Arundhati, I would ask her my questions. So, I thought, Oh, this is all different from what I expected. So I asked her, and she said, “Srila Prabhupada said that on the absolute platform, meeting and separation are the same.” So, philosophically, what she said made sense, that on the absolute platform, meeting and separation are the same. And then she said, “Prabhupada said both are occasions of ecstasy.” But still, I had some doubt, that yes, theoretically, this is a perfect answer, but is it practical?

So, this one doubt was remaining in my mind, that everything about Krishna consciousness is perfect, but this might be the one imperfection, that the spiritual master has to leave. So, this was in the back of my mind. And then one day, when we were chanting in the streets, I will never forget, it was right in front of the Copley Square Subway Station. We were just chanting, I was playing the kartals, and I just felt Srila Prabhupada’s presence so vividly, it was just so tangible. And well, I started to cry. And then I thought, Yes, it is true that in the spiritual world, on the absolute platform, there is no difference between meeting and separation, they are the same, both are occasions of ecstasy. And then, I guess you could say it became my desire to introduce people to Srila Prabhupada. After a year and a half, Srila Prabhupada returned to India, and he wanted some devotees to join him. And that was also very interesting because Rukmini was the head pūjārī in Boston, and somehow, everyone was dying to go to India, and especially with Srila Prabhupada, every devotee wanted to. And somehow, I was chosen from Boston. One person from each temple got to go. And somehow, I had the feeling that Lord Jagannatha, the deity of Lord Jagannatha on the altar in Boston was sending me. And right when I was about to leave, I was in the hallway near the front entrance, and Rukmini came running up to me, and she said, “I think Lord Jagannatha is sending you to India.” And she was very close to the deities, she was the head pūjārī, so I knew that if she said Lord Jagannatha was sending me to India, it must be true.

And then so many arrangements were made, and now, I guess, well, more than forty years later, now here we are, sitting together in Hare Krishna dhāma. So, this is guru-kṛṣṇa-prasāde pāya bhakti-latā-bīja, that somehow, I didn’t know that I was looking for God because of all the impersonalism, I didn’t really know I was looking for God, I was looking for perfect happiness, I was looking for perfection, I didn’t know I was looking for God, but I thought perfection was something else, something impersonal, but I was looking for, I guess you could say, the absolute truth. And Krishna, within the heart, brought me to Srila Prabhupada, and Krishna, within the heart, gave me the intelligence to understand that yes, he was the perfect master for whom I was searching. And then Prabhupada, guru-kṛṣṇa-prasāde pāya, he began to give the instructions by which we could serve Krishna favorably and revive our eternal relationship with Krishna.

So, this is something that, like I said, I think every devotee has experienced that somehow, Krishna has brought them to the association of devotees. It may be something from the past life, Krishna may have arranged for you to take birth in a family of devotees, but it is the same principle. Somehow, from your past life, you had some desire for perfection, for Krishna. And so, Krishna arranged for you to take birth in a family of devotees. And thus, you have the association of devotees. But it is the same thing, to what extent are you actually going to go inside the bottle of honey and taste it, or to what extent are you going to look from the outside and lick the bottle from the outside. Like my friend, His Holiness Ṛtadhvaja Swami used to say, that these children of devotees are born in the Hare Krishna movement but they haven’t actually joined the Hare Krishna movement. They have to decide whether they are going to join the movement or not. And that depends on them. And that also depends on us, what kind of an experience we give them, whether it is an experience that will make them want to join.

We don’t have so much time, so I will just read the next verse.

TEXT 152

mālī hañā kare sei bīja āropaṇa

śravaṇa-kīrtana-jale karaye secana

TRANSLATION

“When a person receives the seed of devotional service, he should take care of it by becoming a gardener and sowing the seed in his heart. If he waters the seed gradually by the process of śravaṇa and kīrtana [hearing and chanting], the seed will begin to sprout.

PURPORT

To live with devotees or to live in a temple means to associate with the śravaṇa-kīrtana process.

COMMENT

So, this is also very interesting. Actually, until now, I hadn’t really seen this connection, this theme, in my life. But after staying in the Boston temple for about two and a half months, they decided, Satsvarupa and I guess the others, they decided they needed more pūjārīs. Can you believe? I was a new devotee, I had been in the temple two and a half months, and they thought that they could use another pūjārī. In those days, you could worship the deities if you had first initiation. And I believe maṅgala-ārati was at six o’clock. And that was an ungodly hour, six o’clock, you had to get up. So, Satsvarupa Maharaja recommended me to be initiated by mail. And my initiation letter came some days later, and the very first thing Srila Prabhupada said is that, “It is by great fortune that you have come to Krishna consciousness.” And he said, “There is so many living entities rotating in so many different species of life, and so many different planetary systems, but one who is fortunate by the mercy of guru and Krishna gets the seed of devotional service.” So, the same idea was repeated by Srila Prabhupada at the time of my initiation in the letter.

So, we all have our own stories, and our stories are evolving. So, I pray that you will get some real taste of Krishna consciousness and want to go deeper and deeper and really experience the ecstasy. At the end of May, there was a festival with His Holiness Indradyumna Swami in Dallas. Of course every experience is different, but the first night, he was leading kirtan, and some devotees were dancing, but not all, and even the ones who were dancing, they were dancing nicely, but they could have danced with some more enthusiasm. So, he explained that these festivals, I could say this retreat, is our special occasions for cleansing the heart. Of course it was spring, but he gave the example that all winter long. . . Well, I don’t know about Houston or Alachua, but in normal places, all winter long people keep the windows closed, they keep the doors closed because it is so cold outside. They don’t want the cold to get in the house because it is so cold. And during that season, all sorts of dust settles in the house, but you can’t really do much about it because all the doors and windows are closed all the time. So then, when spring comes and the temperatures start to rise, you can open the windows, open the doors, then you have spring cleaning because you can open up everything, throw water on the floor, sweep the water out, wash the windows, do a thorough cleaning and get all that dust and dirt out. So he said this festival or this retreat, it is like a spring cleaning; in a very short time, you can get a lot of dust and dirt out, and it is very refreshing. You get all that dirt out, everything’s nice and fresh and clean, and you feel very enlivened and enthusiastic and encouraged. So, this spring cleaning is chanting and dancing, really, really, wildly, without any restraints or inhibitions. And then it is like getting all that dust and dirt, loosening it up and getting it out.

So, I very much look forward to sharing these next days with all of you and with our wonderful facilitators, Rukmini devi dasi and Partha Sarthi dasa. She is agreeing, feeling the same. And yes, His Holiness Gunagrahi dasa Gosvami will be joining us on Saturday. So thank you very much.

Hare Krishna. [applause]