Pandava Sena Youth Retreat—The Good Ol’ Days

Giriraj Swami: . . . And Tamal Krishna Goswami was Srila Prabhupada’s personal secretary. I went upstairs, and Tamal Krishna Goswami had his desk in the front room and you would see him at the desk when you entered. He gave me a deposit to make in the bank and thinking that I was trying to make wise use of my time, but actually being puffed up and rebellious, I said, “I am the temple president, I have so many responsibilities, can’t you get someone else to make the deposit?” Just then, Srila Prabhupada rang his bell. We were speaking in hushed tones. Tamal Krishna Goswami desk was in the front room, and there was another room, which was like the library room or a reception room. Then there were Prabhupada’s quarters where he actually stayed and the doors to Prabhupada’s quarters were closed, and we made sure that all the doors were closed and that we were speaking in very hushed tones. We didn’t think anything when he rang the bell, except, “Wow, Srila Prabhupada is calling us. We get to be with Srila Prabhupada.”

We raised in and offered our obeisances, waiting to share some nectarean moment with Srila Prabhupada. He looked at me and said, “If the spiritual master asks you to go to the bank, and you say that you are too busy, where is the surrender?” So I thought about that, because to my mind, to Tamal Krishna Goswami, he was just a godbrother. I mean, he was certainly deserving of respect and appreciation, but I thought, He is my godbrother. We are together. He had the idea that I should go to the bank. And I have another idea. I didn’t. . . then the moment Prabhupada said, “If the spiritual master asks you to go to the bank and you refuse, where is the surrender?” From that, I got the idea that the spiritual master can speak to us through others, not just in his own localized physical form. In the humble mood of service, we can see our godbrothers or godsisters as spiritual masters or representatives of the spiritual masters and treat them, take their instructions as we would a direct instruction from the spiritual master.

There was another occasion. Srila Prabhupada had his immediate staff, who were pretty much always with him, but then others would come and be given a chance to do some service. Srila Prabhupada was there for several months, just in his quarters. One of the devotees who was given a chance to deliver the service was Nava Yogendra Swami. Not be a governor of Swabia. Every afternoon, he would bring some coconut water. Maybe some fruit, although he wasn’t digesting much then. Nava Yogendra Swami was late, and Srila Prabhupada became very angry. And Nava Yogendra Swami said, “Srila Prabhupada, sometimes you become so angry, we don’t know what to think. We don’t know what to feel.” Srila Prabhupada said, “You should feel jubilant. You should think that there are so many people loitering on the streets with no one to care from if they do something wrong. So you should feel fortunately that you have your master to look after you.”

Then another time, just at that time, there had been elections in India. Indira Gandhi, who had been the prime minister, declared a state of emergency and became like a dictator. But she, I think, thought that people liked her more than they actually did because during the emergency everyone was flattering her, bowing to her, serving her. So she removed the emergency and declared elections. In the elections, she was defeated. The Janata Party came in to the power and there was a great mood of jubilation. The new prime minister was Morarji Desai. Morarji Desai had a home in Bombay, and on his way to Delhi, he was stopping at his home in Bombay. And I had a friend who was a member of parliament and very good personality and he asked if Prabhupada would like to meet him. And Srila Prabhupada said, “Yes, he could meet him, but he should come to Juhu to meet me.” He said, “Not that I am proud that he should come to meet me, but for my meeting with him to be effective, he has to have the right mood. So if he comes to me, it will show that he has the proper mood.”

So the member of parliament set it up. Late that night, the night before the meeting was supposed to take place, the member of parliament phoned and he said that Morarji Desai’s schedule would not allow to come to Juhu but. . . So I didn’t know what to do. I thought, Well, I have to ask Srila Prabhupada, but it is so late. It was like, for us, it was the middle of the night. But I thought this was really important. I decided to just go and check and see if he was awake. I went upstairs, and everyone was asleep. There were no secretaries or servants to pass by. So I walked around to Srila Prabhupada’s far door, and I looked inside. He was sitting at his translation table. If any of you have been to Srila Prabhupada’s quarters in Juhu, there was actually, each floor had eight rooms. We made three, the space that would ordinarily have been three rooms, into one large room for Srila Prabhupada. One side was his translation table, the middle section was his darshan desk, and the right side was his prasādam area.

When Srila Prabhupada moved into his quarters, they looked unprecedented. Marble floors, chandeliers hanging from the ceilings, custom-made furniture. That is really beautiful. When Srila Prabhupada moved in, he said, “Oh, this is just like my room in Radha-Damodara. I translate in one corner, I meet people in another corner, and I take prasādam in another corner.” It was a humorous remark, but it actually showed Srila Prabhupada’s transcendental vision. As far as he was concerned, personally, it was the same. As long as he could do his service, it was adequate, not more than required. So I went upstairs, and he was at the flower table, lights were on. I still wasn’t sure. I offered obeisances, and he saw me. So I came forward, and I said, “Hope, I am not disturbing you.” And he said, “No, I can’t sleep anyway.” He said, “I was always praying to Krishna that I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. There is really no question of sex or defense. I guess I must be liberated.” I explained the situation. He said he wouldn’t go, but if the prime minister is willing, Tamal Krishna Goswami said, I can go in his place.

At the time, it was a very rare opportunity to be with him, but each opportunity had great significance and was very relished. Although Srila Prabhupada was our spiritual master and the world acharya, he reciprocated with us in such a way that he would consult us. He was independent, but at the same time, he didn’t consider himself to be independent. When it came to his body, he consulted us. He didn’t just make an independent decision. So the question became what to do. Should he stay in Bombay? It wasn’t clear exactly when temple will be ready, and otherwise, he would prefer to be in Vrindavan. Different devotees were expressing different opinions, and Prabhupada emphasized that no matter what, don’t take me to the hospital. . .