Vrindavan Yatra—Talks to Devotees Visiting Govardhana

Giriraj Swami: I am very happy to be with all of you, especially at the feet of Giri Govardhana and in the company of His Holiness Niranjana Swami and His Grace Vaisesika dasa, by the mercy of and under the protection of His Divine Grace Srila Prabhupada. His Holiness Niranjana Swami suggested that I speak about Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan.

My first experience of Srila Prabhupada in Vrindavan came in 1970, late 1970 or early 1971. Srila Prabhupada was actually in Bombay, but on the train ride from Amritsar to Bombay, Srila Prabhupada asked Guru dasa, Yamuna, a devotee named Gopal, Bhakta Bruce, who is now Bhanu Swami, and me, to get down in New Delhi and see what we can do. And while we were in Delhi, Srila Prabhupada sent a letter to Guru dasa, asking him to go to Vrindavan and see if he could acquire from the Maharaja of Bharatpur a big building, in Kesi Ghata. So, Guru dasa told us that he is going to Vrindavan for two days, and he will return. But day after day passed, and there was no word from Guru dasa. In those days, there were no cell phones or computers to do email, and we just didn’t know what to do. So, Yamuna devi decided we should all go to Vrindavan and find him. So eventually, we met him, and he said, “Vrindavan is a very different kind of place. When I came here, I told the people I met that I was just going to stay here for two days, and they all just smiled and said, ‘Vrindavan will decide how long you stay and when you go. You cannot force your will upon Vrindavan. You have to do things as Vrindavan wishes.’” So, in those days, there was no real ISKCON in Vrindavan, there was no particular service. So, I took the opportunity to roam about. And towards the end of the day, I came to the Vrindavan town, and I was wandering. And when it was time to find my way back to the group, all the streets looked the same. Whatever street I went down, it looked like all the others, and I had no idea how to find my way back. So, it got late, it was dark, the moon was shining, there were stars in the sky, and I saw there were some sadhus lying down on the steps of a big temple. So, I thought, I will just lie down and spend the night. And then in the morning I managed to find my way back.

So, when we got to Bombay, I told Srila Prabhupada something that I had experienced in Vrindavan. It just felt like Krishna and Balarama and all the cowherd boys and cows were there. They were not visible to me, but they were there, enjoying their pastimes. And Srila Prabhupada said, “Yes. In your present state, you cannot see Krishna, but you can feel His presence.” And he said, “There is no loss that you couldn’t get the property because you got to experience Vrindavan.” Sometime thereafter, we got the land in Juhu, and there were many complications. We had many enemies who didn’t want us to get the land and had other ideas. And we had so many enemies, it seemed that I always had to be there because something could happen, and I didn’t know who else could deal with it if something happened. Meanwhile, different devotees were going to Vrindavan, and I was thinking, Well, how come everyone else gets to go to Vrindavan except me? Of course, I knew I had my service in Juhu and that my service to Srila Prabhupada was my first consideration, but I started to think, Maybe I am exaggerating the threat, maybe I am exaggerating my own importance. So, I booked my ticket to Vrindavan and planned to stay for four days. So, I arrived at the Krishna-Balarama temple, and about fifteen minutes later, one of Prabhupada’s servants approached me and said, “Srila Prabhupada saw you through the window of his house while you were passing by, and he said, ‘What is Giriraj doing here? Giriraj can never leave Bombay.’” So, when I got the message, I was so mortified, I immediately changed my ticket. Oh, yes, and Prabhupada said, “He can stay for three days, and that is all, and he must go back.” But I was so mortified, like, so embarrassed and humiliated that I booked my ticket back in two days.

But then, in 1977, Srila Prabhupada became very ill. And in Juhu, he discussed with the devotees what he should do. He wanted to stay in Juhu to see the temple open, but at the same time, he wanted to be in Vrindavan should the end come. So, different devotees gave different opinions. But in the end, it was concluded that Srila Prabhupada should go to Vrindavan and wait for Krishna’s decision, how long Krishna would allow him to stay. And as His Holiness Niranjana Swami mentioned, one night, while I was sleeping on the roof of the Gurukula building, in the middle of the night, one of Srila Prabhupada’s servants woke me up and said, “Srila Prabhupada wants to see you.” So, I quickly rushed to Srila Prabhupada’s room. Of course, he was lying on his bed, very, very weak, and could speak only with great difficulty, in a very quiet voice. And his condition was such we thought that any word he might utter could be his last. So he asked me, “So, after I leave, do you think this movement will go on?” And I replied, “Yes. As long as the devotees are sincere and chant Hare Krishna, follow the regulative principles, it will go on.” And then Srila Prabhupada said, “Organization; intelligence and organization.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “Is there anything else?” And I said, “No.” But I thought deeply about what Srila Prabhupada had said, and I considered that yes, of course, we have to be sincere, we have to chant our rounds and we have to follow the regulative principles. But Srila Prabhupada wanted more than that, he wanted us to spread Krishna consciousness. And to spread Krishna consciousness effectively requires organization and intelligence, not just a matter of sentiment, or feelings, or even personal practices. It requires a concerted, organized effort.

Then, a few days before Govardhana-puja, this sacred month of Kartik, Srila Prabhupada said that he would like to go to Govardhana Hill. He said, “It is Govardhana-puja, we must participate.” And he wanted to go on a bullock cart. But many of the devotees who were directly serving Srila Prabhupada felt that the ride on the bullock cart would be too difficult for Srila Prabhupada to bear in his delicate condition. And Prabhupada said he wanted to camp out and spend the night at Govardhana Hill. So, in the end, Prabhupada decided not to go. But it was in the disciples’ minds that Prabhupada wanted to go, and somehow, we should bring him. So, after Prabhupada left, a few days later, we brought a small deity of him on a parikramā to Govardhana. And at Radha-kunda, at the Sangam, the strip of land between Radha-kunda and Shyam-kunda, the devotees set up that small deity of Srila Prabhupada where there is a mound of govardhana-śilās, and offered guru-puja. And there, I guess you would say, Srila Prabhupada revealed that he was identical to the deity, or rather that the deity was he, himself. There was absolutely no difference.

So, some time passed, and devotees began to spend more time in Vrindavan, going more deeply into their spiritual practices. And Tamal Krishna Goswami got the idea that we should have a place at Govardhana. As you know, we are sitting just by the side of Srila Tamal Krishna Goswami’s samadhi. So, we got the idea that we should have a place at Govardhana, where senior devotees could come, and without any other obligations or considerations, just study, go deep into those spiritual practices, write, or whatever they felt inspired to do. And in the end, we got this place. And at a certain stage, Tamal Krishna Goswami, he requested Kesava Bharati Maharaja to look after the place and supervise the renovation of it, which he did. And then in time, he put a nice devotee named Asita Krishnadasa in charge.

So, yesterday, Asita Krishna was telling me about his realizations that have inspired him to stay here for, I think, seventeen years now, soon after we got the place. And he quoted a verse by Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, or prayer by Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, in which Raghunatha dasa prays for residents near Govardhana. And in the commentary on that verse, the author discusses why Raghunatha dasa Gosvami wanted to live at Govardhana Hill as opposed to any other place. The answer is that Govardhana Hill is hari-dāsa-varya, the best of all great souls. And it is the nature of great souls to seek the association of other great souls. And because Govardhana Hill is the greatest of all great souls, so many other great souls will come to have darshan of Govardhana Hill. And Raghunatha dasa thought, I will also get the darshan of the great souls who come for the darshan of Giri Govardhana.” And that is happening here. His Holiness Niranjana Swami, His Grace Vaisesika Prabhu, and currently or recently, His Holiness Jayadvaita Swami, His Holiness Damodara Swami, His Grace Bhurijana Prabhu, His Holiness Bharati dasa Gosvami, they have all come to stay either at this ashram, or very near the ashram to seek Krishna, and we get the chance to serve them. And we brought Srila Prabhupada here, this is the whole idea, that we could finally bring Srila Prabhupada here, and his desire to spend the night at Govardhana Hill could be fulfilled.

But I think for me, as significant as the times I came to Vrindavan and was with Srila Prabhupada were the times I didn’t come. After the first Delhi pandal when Srila Prabhupada was planning to come to Vrindavan with practically all the devotees who were in India at the time. Srila Prabhupada had received an invitation to go to Madras, but because he was going to Vrindavan, he couldn’t go personally but he wanted someone to go. And I had the conviction that if I served the desires of the spiritual master, include the desires of the spiritual master, that was the best thing I could do. That has been my conviction from very early, and it is my conviction now. And what Srila Prabhupada really wanted of all of us is that we should taste Krishna consciousness ourselves, and distribute it to others. So, spending time in Vrindavan and going deep in one’s spiritual practices is not opposed to spreading Krishna consciousness. But our chanting and hearing about Krishna and associating with advanced devotees softens our heart, awakens within our heart concern and care and compassion for others, which is manifested in the effort to give them Krishna consciousness.

Once, very early after Srila Prabhupada left, Tamal Krishna Goswami gave a class in Juhu about book distribution. And in the class, he mentioned two very big book distributors on the Radha-Damodara party. One was very strong in his spiritual practices, and one was very weak. And Tamal Krishna Goswami predicted that the one who was strong in his spiritual practices, he would continue to distribute books and be successful, and the one who was weak, wouldn’t. And it turned out to be true. The one who was weak, he was a nice devotee but he  became involved in business and isn’t very active in devotional service, not so much. And the one who was very strong in his spiritual practice is still strong in book distribution. I won’t mention the name that Tamal Krishna Goswami gave of the one who is weak, but the name of the one who is strong is His Grace Vaisesika Prabhu. So, I just urge all of you to appreciate the value of what you have received by the grace of Srila Prabhupada and the paramparā. What you have gotten, what we have gotten, is very, very precious. As Vaisesika Prabhu said, “These are the most precious jewels in the treasury of the emperor, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.” So, we should take this process very seriously, and as far as possible, stay in the association of pure devotees, advanced devotees. We all need that association.

Once, Tamal Krishna Goswami told me that he personally felt, with all of his association with Srila Prabhupada and three initiations from Srila Prabhupada including sannyasa, he still didn’t feel that his relationship with Srila Prabhupada alone was enough. He needed the association of advanced godbrothers, and he named the whole list of his godbrothers. And at the time, I was in a little different mood because some of my godbrothers in whom I placed a lot of faith had left, and within my heart I, more or less, resolved, “I am not going to put my faith in anyone else again, I am only going to put my faith in Srila Prabhupada.” So, when Tamal Krishna Goswami spoke about godbrothers and śikṣā-gurus, I listened seriously because I took whatever he said seriously, but I did have some reservations. But I did feel that I wanted more association with my godbrothers. I felt isolated in Mauritius and South Africa, and I didn’t know what to do about getting more association. And he said, “You have to go out of your way to get it.”

So, in the end, the next morning, I realized that what Tamal Krishna Goswami had said was true. We can’t do it on our own, we need śikṣā-gurus. And at the time, I thought, Well, actually, he is my śikṣā-guru, he is meant to be my śikṣā-guru. And now, so many years later, I also have my list, with His Holiness Niranjana Swami, His Grace Vaisesika Prabhu, Damodara Swami, Bhurijana Prabhu, Govinda Maharaja, Indradyumna Swami, Sivarama Swami and Kesava Bharati Maharaja. In fact, I am in such desperate need, my list is almost unlimited. I am learning from all of you, sincere and dedicated devotees. I named some of the more prominent ones. And we can use every situation to preach. Srila Prabhodandana Sarasvati has written many. . . He wrote Vṛndāvana Mahimāmṛta, The Glories of Sri Vrindavan Dham, and other very esoteric books about Radha and Krishna in Vrindavan. But in one book, Caitanya-candrāmṛta, he says viśvaṁ pūrṇa-sukhāyate, that one who has been blessed by the merciful glance of Lord Chaitanya sees the whole world as happy. So, Srila Prabhupada raised the question, “What does that mean?” We know from the Bhagavad-gītā, duḥkhālayam aśāśvatam, that the material world is a place of misery, and it is temporary. The material world means you build a house because you think it will make you happy, and then it burns down. So, how does he says viśvaṁ pūrṇa-sukhāyate, that he sees the whole world as full of happiness? And Srila Prabhupada gave the answer that he sees the whole world as full of happy opportunities to serve Krishna, full of happy opportunities to share Krishna consciousness with others. It is a matter of attitude, or orientation, or focus.

As I was singing Jaya Radha-Madhava, a fly landed on my face and was crawling all over my face, and my initial reaction was, “Why does this fly have to come and disturb me now?” But then I thought, That fly has come very close to me, and is hearing the holy name. And I thought I have to chant with more sincerity and more intensity because that living entity in that fly’s body has come into the association of devotees with the chance to hear the holy name. So, I want that fly to get the best possible experience of the kirtan that he can possibly have. That was Srila Prabhupada’s mood, we should always preach. That even if no one comes, you can preach to the four walls, or the insects and other creatures around, they will hear the vibration. So, we have been blessed by Srila Prabhupada’s mercy. All the devotees working in the Krishna consciousness movement are extensions of Srila Prabhupada’s mercy. And by Srila Prabhupada’s grace, we become connected with them, and we should keep that connection strong, and through that connection learn to relish Krishna consciousness, and to share Krishna consciousness with others. I am assuming, but it is not just a complete speculation, I did confirm with His Holiness Niranjana Swami, that most of you are from Ukraine. No? Where are the others from?

Devotee: Russia, Kazakhstan.

Giriraj Swami: Well, anyway, a lot of them are from His Holiness Niranjana Swami’s zone. And I have seen in his zone, that the devotees are very well taken care of. This is also very important point. That okay, we are introduced to Krishna consciousness, we begin to practice, and then we preach, and we bring others to Krishna consciousness. But then what happens after they come? How well do we take care of them? So, that is a very important point. Srila Prabhupada said, “It is more important to maintain a devotee than to try to make a new devotee.” And caring for the devotees means on every level; physically, emotionally, and of course, spiritually. And that is very important. And I know that His Holiness Niranjana Swami has put a lot of effort into that, and it has been successful to an extent. But like everything else, we can always do more, we can always do better.

So, what I said is true, that we want to get mercy from those who are higher than us, and we want to give mercy to those who are spiritually newer than we are, but our relationships with our fellow devotees is also very important, that we help and encourage each other. And then, everything will be beautiful and auspicious. So, like many of my plans that fail, I just had another one that failed. But I was hoping to introduce His Holiness Niranjana Swami as part of my effort to purify myself, but he said he is not going to be speaking now, he will be speaking later. So, I won’t be able to introduce him now. Of course, he needs no introduction, but we need to introduce him, but we will have to wait for that opportunity.

Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!

Srila Tamal Krishna Goswami Maharaja ki jaya!

Srila Niranjana Swami Maharaja ki jaya!

Srila Vaisesika Prabhu ki jaya!

Gaura-bhakta-vṛnda ki jaya!

Nitai-Gaura premānande