Wedding Talk

Giriraj Swami: It is a great pleasure and honor and privilege to be here on this auspicious occasion in the most holy place of Sri Vrindavan dhāma in the best association of devotees and cows and other living entities who are engaged in the service of Krishna. This wedding is very significant because it is bringing together two devotees who were born of parents who are devotees. One is Abhay Charan, his parents are from Spain, and the other is Madhileksana and her parents are from Australia. 

My good friend, His Holiness Ṛtadhvaja Swami often says about youth in ISKCON that they are born in the Hare Krishna movement but they haven’t decided to join the Hare Krishna movement. That is something that they have to decide on their own and that also will depend on what kind of experience they have of Krishna consciousness from their parents, from the temple, from the communities of devotees. So I am very pleased that this young couple has chosen to dedicate their life in service to Krishna and Prabhupada in Krishna consciousness and that will provide the most solid foundation for their lives in general and for their married life in particular.

One of the first couples to get married in Krishna consciousness was Advaita and Balai. Balai is a very good devotee. She lives in the devotee community in Los Angeles. After she and her husband had been married for some months, her husband asked Srila Prabhupada about having affectionate feelings for his wife or children, whether such feelings are appropriate for devotees. And Srila Prabhupada said that the right hand and left hand have a natural relationship through the body or through the stomach. They do not have a relationship with each other independent of the body or the stomach. So the body or the stomach is Krishna and our relationship with each other exists because of our relationship with Krishna. As the Bhāgavatam says, as Srila Prabhupada has explained that when the hand cooperates for the sake of the stomach everything works properly. Prabhupada told the story that the limbs of the body got together and they decided, “We are doing all the work.” The legs said, “We are walking,” the arms said, “We are doing all the work and the food all goes to the stomach.” So they decided to go on strike. So they went on strike and what was the result? They all became weaker and weaker and weaker. And then they decided, “We were better off when we were serving the stomach.”

So that is the natural function of the living entity and the natural function of the part and the whole; it is the natural function of the individual souls to serve the Supreme Soul. And the purpose of marriage in Krishna consciousness is to unite the husband and wife in a relationship which is based on service to Krishna in which service to Krishna is the central point and as long as that remains the central point then the relationship between husband and wife will be congenial—all relationships will be congenial.

There is an American authority on marriage, I’m not sure of his name, but he made a very profound statement. Although he has written many books about how to make a successful marriage, he did make a very insightful statement which is that marriage is not meant to make you happy but marriage, being fully and properly married, is meant to create a secure and stable environment in which you find your own happiness. So we should never be in the illusion that married life or family life will make us happy because we are the soul; we are not the body. And we can experience happiness only in relation to the soul which really means the relationship of the individual soul with the Supreme Soul. Any attempt to be happy on the basis of the body, the senses of the body or the mind which is the center of the senses, that will not make us happy. The body is like a cage and the soul is like the bird in the cage. You may decorate the cage, you may spread aromatic fragrances from oils and incense, and you may place flowers everywhere and jewels and gems, but if you don’t feed the bird, the bird will not be happy however beautifully you decorate the cage. 

So the body is like a cage and the soul is like the bird in the cage. Whatever we do to decorate the body, pamper the body, make the body comfortable, it will not satisfy us who are the soul. That nourishment for the soul comes through devotional service to the Supreme Soul. So someone might question, “Well, what is the point of even getting married if our real relationship is with Krishna?” And it is true, our real relationship is with Krishna, but the reason to get married is as that author said to create a secure—relatively, we are in the material world—but relatively secure and stable and supportive environment in which to serve Krishna. In that context the husband and wife also have natural affection for each other. Even very advanced devotees have that affection for other devotees.

Last year I visited Vaisesika Prabhu in San Jose and at the time he was facing the crisis, many of his devotees were facing the crisis of having their permits to stay in the United States taken away from them. He was saying he felt devastated with the idea that he would lose so many wonderful devotees upon whom he was practically and emotionally dependent. So I said, “Practically dependent I can understand. What do you mean by emotionally dependent?” And he said, “They have become very dear friends of mine. We support each other in our efforts in Krishna consciousness.” So that is fine. That happens naturally with Krishna in the center.

There is one verse and purport in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam that I would like to mention before concluding in which Queen Kunti prays to Lord Krishna, “Please sever my ties of affection for my family, the Vṛṣṇis and the Pandavas, and let my love flow to Krishna like the Ganges flows to the ocean without any impediment.” Srila Prabhupada raises the question in the purport that the service of devotees is within the range of devotional service and both of Kunti’s families on her father’s side—her brother was Vasudeva, the father of Krishna, and her husband was Pandu, and her sons were the Pandavas—so on both sides her family members were exalted devotees. So why is she praying, “Please sever my ties of affection for my family members?” Srila Prabhupada explains that there are two kinds of affection, affection based on bodily relation and affection based on one soul for another through the medium of the Supersoul or Supreme Soul. So Srila Prabhupada explains that when Queen Kunti prays that her ties of affection for her family members be severed she is praying that the affection that is based on the body should be severed. And then the affection that is based on the soul or the relationship of the individual souls in service to the Supreme Soul will remain.

So in conditioned life as devotees or aspiring devotees our affection for each other may have both elements—affection based on the body and affection based on the soul through the medium of the Supreme Soul—and as we progress in married life and in Krishna consciousness the relationship based on the soul will become more prominent and the relationship based on the body will be less prominent and then ultimately we hope to come to the stage in which our relationships with each other are based on the soul in relation to the Supreme Soul and we are not bewildered by the illusory designations of the body. And then we are fit to enter into the spiritual abode of Krishna, Radha and Krishna, because our life here is practice for our life with Radha and Krishna in the spiritual world. 

Srila Prabhupada gave the example that if you are in high school but you are doing college level work you could promoted to college. So we are in the material world but we are engaged in the activities of the spiritual world so we get to enter the spiritual world.

So our home, gṛhastha-āśrama, is an āśrama. Āśraya: shelter. It is a place to take shelter of Krishna and of guru. So it is an āśrama and in that āśrama we want to develop pure love for Krishna which will include love for each other and all of the human beings, all parts of Krishna.

It is very encouraging that this young couple has chosen to dedicate their lives in Krishna consciousness. Each one decided they want to marry a devotee so they can serve Krishna together and they have chosen to be married in Vrindavan which is the kingdom of God, not different from Mayapur. Both are the kingdoms of God. They are already in the kingdom of God. So we are very hopeful that they will lead a beautiful life in Krishna consciousness together. And just as their parents brought some fortunate souls into the association of devotees through childbirth and by their examples and love and care and good instructions, they inspired their children to embrace Krishna consciousness as a voluntary choice, so if it is their desire and Krishna agrees, they may also bring more souls into the family, their own personal family as devotees and the larger family of Srila Prabhupada’s followers and the largest family of Krishna and Vasudeva and ultimate complete family of Krishna.

Again, it is a great honor and privilege and pleasure to be here. I look forward to meeting you again and again and see you progressing together in gṛhastha-āśrama in devotional service and when the time comes and there are little ones, I will be happy to meet them as well and encourage them on the same beautiful path that you are treading. 

In conclusion I would request everyone to chant the holy names responsively after me: Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.

Hare Krishna.