Govardhana Retreat—Govardhana as the Lord’s Best Servant

Giriraj Swami: Hare Krishna

I would like to go back in time to Kartik of 1977. Srila Prabhupada was residing in his house at Krishna-Balarama temple in Vrindavan. He was very ill. He basically was just lying on his bed. He didn’t have the strength to move and he was hardly eating or drinking. He had no appetite and devotees, well, let us say devotees hoped against hope that he would recover, but Srila Prabhupada, himself spoke about his departure. But at the same time, he also spoke about Govardhana Hill. In the days just prior to Govardhana-puja, Srila Prabhupada announced that he would like to travel by bullock cart, from the Krishna-Balarama temple to Govardhana Hill, to participate in Govardhana-puja at Govardhana Hill itself, and to spend the night camping at Govardhana Hill.

Now, from the material point of view, Srila Prabhupada’s desire seemed very difficult to fulfill. The roads between Vrindavan and Govardhana were very rough. Even now, they are rough, but back then, they were even more rough. And Srila Prabhupada had no flesh on his body. Sometimes we hear the expression “It was just like skin and bones.” He was just like skin and bones and when Srila Prabhupada expressed his desire, Prabhupada’s followers out of love for him, became polarized. The devotees that were serving Srila Prabhupada very closely, his personal caregivers, they were opposed to the idea because they felt that Srila Prabhupada could not sustain the rigors of the journey. That even if they lined the bullock cart with mattresses, he would still be jostled along the way and it would be extremely painful for him. And they feared that he could give up his body on the way. And other disciples thought that it is not our duty to consider the merits of the spiritual master’s desire, or the spiritual master’s [Unintelligible], our duty is just to execute it. And the emotions were running very high at the time, you can imagine, because Srila Prabhupada was everything to us even if he was in such a delicate condition. But in the end, Srila Prabhupada, well I guess you could say he. . .Well, I will tell the story instead of giving my interpretation of it, I will just tell the story.

So one night just before Govardhana-puja day, Srila Prabhupada’s godbrother, Akiñcana Krishna dasa Babaji Maharaja was scheduled to come and meet Srila Prabhupada. And as I mentioned, the immediate caregivers, Tamal Krishna Goswami, Bhakti Charu Swami, Bhavananda Maharaja, Bhakti Svarupa Damodara Swami, they all felt very strongly that Prabhupada should not undertake this journey or attempt this journey. So, when Babaji Maharaja arrived, Bhakti Charu Swami explained to him, in Bengali, the situation. And meanwhile, Tamal Krishna Goswami and Bhavananda Maharaja were upstairs discussing, and at a certain point they came running down the stairs and they were in a very emotional state and Tamal Krishna Goswami said, “Srila Prabhupada, we are in so much anxiety. We have been discussing the roads to Govardhana. They are so rough and even if we line the bullock cart with mattresses, you will be jostled and it will be very painful for you. And we want you to go, but first you should get a little. . .” Actually, he didn’t even go that far, he just said what I said up until now. And then Prabhupada said, “So you want that I should not go?” “Yes.” Prabhupada, he turned to Krishna dasa Babaji Maharaja and he said, “My right hand and my left hand; how can I refuse?” And he said, “I don’t want to put you in anxiety, that is not my business.” And then he said to Babaji Maharaja, “This is love.” And then, some days later, Srila Prabhupada left.

But still, it was in our minds that Srila Prabhupada had that desire to go to Govardhana Hill at the end. And Srila Prabhupada’s guru Maharaja also had the same desire. Up until very close to the end, he was residing at Puruṣottama Kshetra in Jagannatha Puri at Chataka Parbata, which is considered a representation of Govardhana Hill and he was reciting that same prathana prayer by Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, nija-nikaöa-nivasam dehi govardhana tvam. So this was very extraordinary. Because Srila Prabhupada really kept his personal ecstasy very much to himself. He was very much in the mood of service and preaching. But at the end, somehow he manifested his heartfelt desire to go to Govardhana Hill. So it was in the minds of everyone that was Srila Prabhupada’s desire. And some days after he left, the devotees took Srila Prabhupada in his deity form. There were not so many deities of Srila Prabhupada then, because we had his personal presence. Someone had a small brass deity of Srila Prabhupada. So we thought we will fulfill Srila Prabhupada’s desire and take him on parikramā of Govardhana Hill, which they did.

And I did not know anything about Govardhana Hill. I was in Bombay. Once, I came to Vrindavan and Srila Prabhupada saw me through the window of his room in Vrindavan and he commented to his servant, “What is Giriraj doing here? Giriraj can never leave Bombay. Three days maximum, then he must go back.” I was planning to stay for four days, and when Prabhupada’s servant gave me the message I was so mortified that I said, “I am going back in two days. Too much.” So I didn’t know anything really. I had never been anywhere. So later, the devotees explained to me what we had done. And it turned out that we did half parikramā, the Puchhari side, the tail-end, and the devotees took back at Kusum Sarovar. We came by Govinda-kunda, had parikramā, and at the end we went to Radha-kunda and Shyam-kunda. He was on palanquin, the small deity, they placed him at the sungam place, the dividing section between Radha-kunda and Shyam-kunda and did kirtan. And during that kirtan, Srila Prabhupada revealed. . .It sounds like a theory when I say it that he was the deity, but at the time, he was the deity; the deity was him; there was no difference. He was fully present, fully conscious, just as we knew him to be. And that was a very profound experience and it was Srila Prabhupada mercy to us, to manifest himself that way and reassure us that he was present.

So that was the end of it. But then, a friend suggested that we should have a place at Govardhana. So Tamal Krishna Goswami and I decided we would take up the project. That is a whole other story which I won’t be able to tell in detail now. But there is a very beautiful property on the other side of Govardhana Hill near Daan Ghati and it belonged to a King, Chhatarpur, and in the end he gave us that, it was a palace, he gave us that palace. And we thought that now we can fulfill Srila Prabhupada’s desire to reside at Govardhana. And the palace belongs to the royal family, so there is a room where the king used to sit, sort of like home court, very regal room facing Govardhana Hill and, “Okay, now Srila Prabhupada can stay there.” And so in that way, we also tried to fulfill Srila Prabhupada’s desire to come to Govardhana Hill. But I think that by the Govardhana retreats, we are bringing Srila Prabhupada with us. He is here with us at every step and I believe he is pleased that we have come here to Govardhana Hill to chant and hear the glory of Krishna and to get the mercy of Govardhana Hill and the other great souls.

So I feel this is also a way of bringing Srila Prabhupada here, which was his desire. And I feel very much, that he is present with us, as we endeavor to serve him and to fulfill his desire that we develop love for Krishna.

Hare Krishna