The Mitra Program—with Mauritius Devotees

Giriraj Swami: As we discussed the Mitra program or mentor program or counselor program takes training. It is not an easy thing to become a counselor. But that training can be done best if devotees go to Bombay and meet with Sridham and Kishore and see the system in action, the counselor system that began in Chowpatty and my system which we call Mitra program as well. And we discussed that that would be best probably after December/January, after the wedding and after my visit and I will also be in Bombay maybe for ten days after I leave Mauritius. 

But in the meantime there are things that we can do just as friends, as god-brothers and godsisters, and the two main areas I thought of were just sadhana, be in touch with the devotees and just see how they are doing, getting up in the morning, chanting their rounds, attending the morning program at the temple if they are close enough or having some sort of morning program at home. Also if someone lives some distance from the temple and doesn’t go, maybe inviting other people in the same locality to attend a program with them at their own place, chant together. 

I am not exactly sure what was included in what I sent you but I think I have to send you one more transcript of the meetings that we had in Mumbai. Definitely being a mitra means extending yourself to others, making a little personal sacrifice for the sake of others. In a way we might have our own place for ourselves. It is actually very encouraging to the other devotees if they see senior devotees just like you are having morning program or chanting your rounds in the morning and invite them to join you. Of course best is if someone can do it at the temple. If not, they could join you at home.

Just befriend them. Again, even others who are not in this group can do that. It is something that we call can do for each other. It doesn’t really require any special training. 

And then other thing is grihastha issues because whether we like it or not, grihastha issues are there all the time. Somehow or other people have to deal with them. As we discussed it can mean finding a suitable match for someone who wants to get married, advising them how to conduct themselves in gṛhastha-āśrama, and all sorts of things—dealing with family members who are not devotees. 

So when you speak with Sridham and Kishore you should take advantage to ask them whatever questions you have. Some questions that come up are for example, say the wife knows that something is right but the husband disagrees, the husband does not give permission, so then what does the wife do because she wants to obey the husbands but at the same time for the sake of service she just knows that something is right and the husband is not agreeing. So Sridham and Kishore have very good insights on how to deal with all these types of questions.

Another common question is the wife is more interested in Krishna consciousness than the husband, that the husband is more interested than the wife, and then how do you deal with that. Or the wife wants to attend the programs but the husband doesn’t or vice versa. So how do you deal with that?

So Sridham and Kishore have many good insights and much good experience how to deal with these sorts of difficult situations. Or like we discussed maybe. . . of course in general it is good culturally in terms of match, it is good if boy and girl come from similar backgrounds, culture, education, wealth, and so on, and generally that is better, but sometimes there could be a good match but the parents have certain traditional ideas about who their children should marry and the parents even grandparents might think, “Oh, this other devotee isn’t from our caste or community or isn’t good enough,” and so how to deal with that.

There are so many practical questions that come up and so this is an opportunity to ask them and they have a lot of experience mainly in Bombay but they’ve also done work in London and different places. So they have good experience.

All of you basically are stable in your ashrama—you haven’t gotten divorced, your children are more or less devotees, or at least not inimical to Krishna consciousness—but even then there is probably room for improvement within your own relationships—husband and wife, parents and children. And certainly the more you can learn that would help with your own gṛhastha-āśrama the better you’ll be able to advise others and help others because that is the idea that you’ve gone through things that they haven’t gone through. So, when you go through something and deal with it successfully you learn and then you can share your experience with others. You can also learn from things that don’t work. That is why it’s good for grihasthas to advise grihasthas because they’ve gone through so much of what grihasthas go through and no one else has that exact same experience. I can give some theoretical advice as a sannyasi but I may not have the same practical experience that the grihastha has. 

And sadhana, of course it is for everyone, that is common to everyone so we want to work on our own sadhanas. Like when you have children you have to be more careful how you behave because you want to set a good example for them. So in the same way when you have people who look up to you as spiritual authorities it’s good for you too because then you have to behave, you have to be more conscious of the example you set. That is also good for you.

Then another point that came up not related specifically to this conversation but people who are not disciples of mine wanting to be invited, I really didn’t want to do something separate from the temples but I have seen that especially because our congregation is so big now, very few temples—few or many whatever it is—there are temples who are not able to take care of the devotees to the extent that I would like to see them taken care of and specifically to the extent that I am going to see my disciples taken care off. So that is why we are doing this otherwise the ideal would be if the temples did it. But one of the side effects of this is that devotees who aren’t disciples might feel left out and eventually we could include others but in the very beginning when we are just getting on our feet—we are not even really up and running. We are just beginning—we have to really keep it to a small group where there is similar focus, similar understanding. 

There is also the question of husbands and wives who don’t have the same guru but in that case the spouses who have other gurus or who aren’t initiated, they are invited if they want to come. Their spouses, they are in a different category. But we definitely don’t want to have that mood of this is an in-group or some sort of special club that, “We are inside and you are outside.” That is completely against the mood of what we are trying to develop. We want to develop the mood of servants and we also want to serve all the devotees who aren’t my disciples, who aren’t part of the system now. We also want to serve them. We want that to be part of our culture to serve Vaishnavas. We should try and encourage everyone and help them.

I am sure that many of you already have relationships where you are mentors to others. Satyabhama Mataji has her girls that she teaches and engages. She even takes them with her when she goes to England. So many are like mentors. So that will continue. We are not going to stop anything that is already going on naturally. But it is just to give you association which will be good for your spiritual lives—association with each other and with Sridham and Kishore, me perhaps more than I can give to every disciple—and to make you better servants.

I think I will let you carry on now with Sridham and Kishore. They are very nice devotees, very friendly, very easy to communicate with, very enthusiastic about their service.

Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!
Sri Sri Radha-Golokananda ki jaya!
Sri Sri Krsna-Balarama ki jaya!
Sri Jagannatha, Baladeva, Subhadra ki jaya!

Gaura-premanande hari haribol!