Serving My Perfect Master

Giriraj Swami: Hare Krishna. We will continue our discussions from the point where we left off last night. I had just found my perfect master Srila Prabhupada and after his stay in Boston which lasted about two weeks he departed for Columbus and Los Angeles. But I became convinced as the devotees had told me that on the absolute platform meeting and separation are the same—both are occasions of ecstasy. That is what Srila Prabhupada had told them and some days after Srila Prabhupada left Boston I did have an experience in which I felt his presence and I became convinced that, yes, what the devotees had said, what Srila Prabhupada said, could be experienced practically and that anyone could experience Srila Prabhupada’s presence at any time. And so it became my greatest desire not only then to bring people to Srila Prabhupada, but even after his physical disappearance, and in the same mood.

Eventually Srila Prabhupada decided that he wanted to return to India and he wanted the best person who could be spared from each center to come along and there were about fourteen centers then. And so sort of the number two person from each center was given the chance to go.

From London, Guru dasa and Yamuna devi and Malati and Shyamasundara, and Guru dasa knew an Indian man who worked for an airline called Brother Airline or Bosco, something like Brothers Air Corporation or something like that. They had one aircraft which was a World War II cargo carrier that they had fitted with some sort of seats. It was quite amazing. Some airport authority later commented that. . . he had some position of overseeing the aircrafts of different companies, and he said he rode on many relatively unsafe aircrafts in the course of his duty, but none of them came close to the one owned by Brothers Airline.

So it was arranged that the group from America would join up with the two couples from England in Brussels which was where the airline flew from. So then we stopped in Cairo—that was part of the route—and we arrived at a time when there was a lot of fighting in the Middle East and I think the day or the day after that the president of Egypt, Gamal Abdel Nasser, died. And there had been a lot of jets blown up in Cairo. There were actually remains of the blown up jets scattered here and there. The airport was full of soldiers with bandoliers and bullets and machine guns. It was about October 1970.

My mood of Krishna consciousness was that my mind and senses should not stray from Krishna and I didn’t even like to go out of the temple in Boston when I first joined because I thought my eyes might go to some billboard or something. And if I did have to go out I would never want to go alone. So the results of this mentality was that there were a lot of things that I didn’t see. So when we arrived at the Cairo airport—I was told this later—I was chanting japa. I would chant very intensely. If I felt lethargic or anything I would jump up and down while chanting japa. So as we were coming down the gangway, the steps from the airplane, so Yamuna devi was in front of me and she saw all these soldiers with machine guns surrounding the area where we were coming down. And they were aiming their machine guns and the machine guns were going up and down. And she was wondering, “What is happening?” Then she turned around and saw I was jumping up and down and they were following me with their machine guns. [laughter] 

Anyway so we landed and we had to wait some time while the aircraft was being refueled. Our mood was whenever we got a chance we should chant so we started doing kirtan. These armed military people were looking at us not very satisfied. But again I didn’t really notice everything that was going on, but later Nanda Kumara Prabhu who was also with us told me that he thought that this was a very volatile situation and he didn’t feel very safe. So he thought he would take a little stroll and sort of disappear behind the airplane. And then maybe fifteen minutes later he came back and he saw that the armed guards had placed their machine guns against a bus and they were holding hands with us, dancing in a circle while we were chanting Hare Krishna. Things really happened in those days like magic really. Krishna’s magic. 

So we arrived in Bombay and we were taken to a nice place by Bombay standards and Kailash Seksaria’s house and then from there Srila Prabhupada took the devotees to different places where he had been invited. But there was just one little incident there that I will mention because I feel it is instructive. One day when we were in Srila Prabhupada’s room, one of the devotees Guru dasa actually he began to praise another devotee, Dinanatha, for leading nice kirtan and then Guru dasa stopped himself and he said, “Oh, I am sorry Srila Prabhupada, your Deities are here and it says in The Nectar of Devotion that one should not praise anyone in front of the Deities.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “Krishna is already glorified, but He takes more pleasure when His devotees are glorified.” So I thought that was a very good instruction.

And then from Bombay we were to Amritsar and there was a Vedanta conference and the whole ashram where we were accommodated—it was a Vedanta ashram—was filled with Mayavadi slogans posted here and there. So the arrangement was the organizers had given us two rooms. So Srila Prabhupada was in one room and the adjoining room he gave to the two ladies who were on the party—Kausalya and Yamuna—and the men, we just slept outside in the open courtyard and it was pretty cold in Amritsar in November. Srila Prabhupada would travel with his Deities and every morning, pretty much no matter what, we would go into his room and sing the samsara prayers and he would speak a little.

He explained that the organizers didn’t really agree with his philosophy but they invited him because the devotees attracted such huge crowds and they wanted people to come to the event. They had these slogans, tattva [māsa?], ahaṁ brahmāsmi. And just then one of the ladies brought him the plate from the morning offering to the Deities and Srila Prabhupada said, “They will go on speculating for many lifetimes and never come to any conclusion,” and then he took a little piece of mahā-prasāda and popped it in his mouth and said, “But we will go back to Godhead just by eating prasāda.”

So, Srila Prabhupada had unbounded energy—it was amazing—and apart from the morning and evening programs in the pandal of the Vedanta Samelan, Prabhupada received all sorts of invitations to the temples, to homes, to gatherings, and we couldn’t keep up with him. We just couldn’t keep up with him. Guru dasa Prabhu was the senior man so he approached Srila Prabhupada and he said, “Srila Prabhupada, we can’t keep up with the schedule. We have to chant our rounds, we have to do our laundry. . .” I don’t know if he mentioned it but we all had dysenteries. That was almost a perpetual factor. So Prabhupada said, “All right, I will accept only two engagements per day.” “Okay.” But then after some days passed, Prabhupada started to accept more and one day he accepted seven invitations and Srila Prabhupada would go ahead in a car. Usually the hosts would provide a car and we would go in rickshaws. Usually he would take the women with him. He was very protective of the women and the men would go in rickshaws. And the car would go a lot faster than the rickshaws and there were so many programs that it ended up like we would just reach the one when he was leaving to go to the next. Anyway we kept chasing after him.

And then the last program was in a hall and Prabhupada was speaking in Hindi. He usually spoke in English I think for our sake of course, but then he was speaking in Hindi and something mystical happened because I didn’t know Hindi—we’d only been in India for less than two months—but I could understand what he was saying. Of course he was quoting a lot of verses that I had heard. And he was speaking quite intimately about Krishna and Vrindavan and the love of the residents of Vrindavan for Krishna and I could understand that these were devotees that he was speaking to, a devotees’ audience, and so he was opening up about Krishna and love for Krishna. 

And that ended pretty late and Prabhupada came back to the ashram and we were eventually reached. Even though it was so late, Srila Prabhupada had done seven engagements, the light in his room was still on, and I thought, “Let me just take a peak.” I sort of thought I shouldn’t be doing that but I couldn’t resist. So I sort of crouched down and crawled up to the window and peeped in and Srila Prabhupada was reclining on his asana behind his desk, low table, and he was listening to the recording of the talk he had just given and I thought, “Wow, he was speaking. Krishna was speaking or even if he was speaking Krishna was manifest through his speaking. And he was relishing associating with Krishna by hearing the talk again.”

Then from Amritsar Srila Prabhupada returned to Bombay but on the way one Indian gentleman who had been corresponding with Prabhupada came to the train station and asked if Prabhupada could leave some devotees in Delhi and so he did. He told Guru dasa and Yamuna devi they should form a party and get down so I was one of the party. And then after Prabhupada went to Bombay we spent about a month in Delhi. 

We went to Indore for the Gita-jayanti celebrations. And so much happened in each place, but I am just taking maybe one highlight from each place that I feel are informative. So, in Indore many Hindu gentlemen would come to meet Srila Prabhupada with their own ideas of spiritual life and Srila Prabhupada even complained once, “They come to the guru to see if he agrees with them and if he agrees with them he is very good and if he disagrees then they don’t like it.” 

So one group of men came—about seven of them—and Srila Prabhupada was really being very critical because the night before he’d had a program at a Gita Hall in the city and there was no picture of Krishna. Srila Prabhupada was saying, “What is this? It is the Gita Hall and there is no picture of the speaker of the Gītā, Krishna.” And so they said, “We have a dīpa lamp.” “What is this nonsense? Where in the Bhagavad-gītā does it say that you should worship a dīpa?” They said, “People have been worshiping the dīpa in India for thousands of years.” So it gradually escalated.

So they told Prabhupada that, “You should be sama-darśinaḥ.” There is a verse in Bhagavad-gītā, the last line is paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ, that a learned person sees everyone equally. So they were telling him, “You shouldn’t be so critical. You should see everyone equally.” And Prabhupada said, “Well, you are not on that platform. You are saying, ‘Swamiji is not up to the standard,’ but why are you being critical of me?” So then Prabhupada discussed the verse, vidyā-vinaya-sampanne brāhmaṇe gavi hastini śuni caiva śvapāke ca paṇḍitāḥ sama-darśinaḥ, that a learned person sees with equal vision a gentle and humble brahman, a cow, a dog, an elephant, and a dog-eater. And Srila Prabhupada said that, “That is a very high platform. Why does someone take birth as a brahman and someone take birth as a dog? It is according to their pious and sinful activities. So someone on that platform does not distinguish between pious and sinful activities, but I am not on that platform, and I see if someone is not surrendered to Krishna I tell them, ‘You should surrender to Krishna.’”

So discussing back and forth and then at one stage Prabhupada quoted something that they didn’t like and Prabhupada said, “I am not saying; the scripture is saying. I am not saying. I am just repeating what is in the scripture.” And they said, “Well, there are mistakes in the scripture.” And Prabhupada said, “Oh, now you are criticizing Vyasa. Okay, you get out! If you are going to criticize Vyasa, I cannot speak with you. You get out!” So then they sort of calmed down a little and Prabhupada had been saying, “I just repeat.” And they were saying, “Well, every acharya should make some advancement beyond what the previous acharyas have done. So what is your contribution?” Prabhupada said, “I have no contribution. I just repeat what the previous authorities have said.” It was going on like this and then somehow Hamsaduta Prabhu took the opportunity to tell the gentlemen about how Prabhupada was spreading Krishna consciousness all over the world and then they really became impressed. And their attitude changed. And then Srila Prabhupada said, “That is my sama-darśinaḥ that I see that everyone—Americans, Europeans, Asians—that everyone is eligible to take to Krishna consciousness. That is my sama-darśinaḥ and that is my contribution to the previous acharyas.” [applause]

Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!

Then from Indore we went to Surat. I mentioned this last night, on the way here, driving between Melbourne Beach and Alachua, Sesa Prabhu mentioned that Prabhupada kept on heaping responsibility on me and he was wondering how that happened. So now we will come a little to that point and then we will come to that point. So in Surat, Rsi Kumara from New York, he was the number two man from New York, so he came, he spoke to me very confidentially that Srila Prabhupada had introduced a new program called life membership and that anyone who made life members could please Srila Prabhupada very much. So he said he was going back to Bombay to make life members and he asked if I would come, so I thought, “Yes, this will please Srila Prabhupada.” 

So I left Srila Prabhupada’s association and went to Bombay. And there I learned a lot. Every day we were learning so much. But after a few days, Shyamasundara Prabhu gave me the name, he gave me a big list of names of people to approach to become life members. So the first one was S. N. Nagpal, he had a petrol chemical refinery, and I went to him and I explained everything, showed him the books, showed him Back to Godhead with pictures, and he said, “I have to consult my brother.” I said, “Okay.” So I came back and reported to Shyamasundara and he said, “What! He could have become a life member. He didn’t have to consult his brother. That was just an excuse. If I had gone I could have made him a life member.” And then he said, “You have to be intelligent enough to understand what the person’s reservations are without him telling you because they may not tell you. They probably won’t tell you, but you have to be intelligent enough to find out what their reservations are and remove them.”

Eventually I got another appointment with Mr. Nagpal and he did become a life member. And then I had a major realization one day. I was going out to meet someone in a rickshaw and as I told you I was really terrified of maya and of any interaction with the material world and I was very hesitant to go out, but that day somehow in the rickshaw I was having some pretty good chanting japa and I thought, “Wow! This is amazing!” I didn’t know that you could have good japa outside the temple in a rickshaw and I thought, “This is really great because not only am I chanting japa, which is good for me, but I am also going out to spread the mission, which is good for others.” I thought, “This is really great. You could do both at the same time.” So that was really a major change in my understanding. Then I went out a lot and somehow tried to balance the requirements of going out and meeting people and maintaining my own spiritual practices.

I will have to move ahead. Then Prabhupada came to Bombay from Surat and spent two days and then he went to Allahabad for the Ardha-kumbha-melā. We joined him there. Then we went to Gorakhpur. I guess I should speak about Gorakhpur. So Satsvarupa was the temple president in Boston and he was also the editor of Back to Godhead magazine and he was always encouraging devotees, encouraging me to write. But it took time between when you submitted an article to Back to Godhead and it was published; it would take maybe like four months. But I always had this thing about guru, that was like my whole quest to find my perfect master and so my first article was about guru. It came out in an issue that was mailed to Srila Prabhupada and reached him when we were in Gorakhpur. And Srila Prabhupada called me which was very unusual. I was a relatively new devotee compared to many of the others, but he asked to see me. And he said, “I have read your article. It was very nice. You should write. You should write as your main business. And if you like you could come with me, you can travel with me, and I will train you.” So I didn’t really know how to respond, but it definitely sounded good travelling with Srila Prabhupada and being trained by him. 

And then he said, “Do you ever think of getting married?” So I said, “No, except I see that all the GBCs are married.” Now at that time I thought like a GBC was a higher category. I didn’t really understand, but I admired them. Prabhupada said, “You will never be GBC.” [laughter] And he said, “The sex urge and all the demands of the senses are like itches and if you scratch they become worse. So it is better just to tolerate.” So he said, “Best is you remain brahmachari and after some time I will give you sannyasa.” So that was fine, that was clear.

One other little thing I had heard that Srila Prabhupada said that if you read the Kṛṣṇa book then anything that you see will remind you of Krishna. So I was reading the Kṛṣṇa book and as I mentioned I had lost some of that hesitation about going out, but I thought that would be wonderful to relate everything to Krishna. And we were staying at a beautiful, big estate, like a huge mansion that had been the personal residence of Hanuman Prasad Poddar of the Gītā Press. He was still alive and like our host, but he wasn’t living there anymore. It was a beautiful place called Sri Krishna Niketan. There were beautiful fields around, agricultural fields and then woods. And I would just look out and just remember Krishna, confirm reading the Kṛṣṇa book. It was so potent. That was where many nice things happened.

So then from Gorakhpur we went to Calcutta, then. . . so many things. . . I don’t know what to do. I just surrender. I think we will just have to move ahead. Eventually we came to Delhi for the first Delhi pandal which was a tremendous success and Prabhupada had received an invitation to go to Madras, but he was planning to take the devotees to Vrindavan from Delhi for the first pandal, but he wanted someone to go to Madras. And I had already got the idea that the secret to success in Krishna consciousness was to please the spiritual master. So no one really wanted to go; everyone wanted to go with Srila Prabhupada to Vrindavan. So I volunteered and I went. Eventually I was there with Bhavananda, Acyutananda, and [Abhakta?]. And one afternoon they were just talking about the movement in India and different ways in which it could be improved and just really discussing very broad concerns. It struck me as very important what they were saying. So maybe I asked their permission, I probably did, and I composed a letter to Srila Prabhupada synthesizing what I considered the conclusions or best points from the discussion. And Srila Prabhupada wrote back a very enthusiastic letter to me saying, “You are one of the most responsible disciples in India and very intelligent and practically no one has the ability to convince important people like you.” 

So I think that was sort of. . . Prabhupada saw a spark that he wanted to fan. He was always seeing sparks and fanning them, but I think this was a particular type of spark. . . I don’t know, I can’t speculate, no one knows the mind of the acharya, and I can say that when I was anticipating giving this talk I came to terms with something that had been burdening me ever since then. When Srila Prabhupada wrote back that letter I knew within myself that those weren’t my ideas. I was pretty much just putting together what the others had said and I actually felt it was dishonest of me to accept the credit for it, but I didn’t have the strength to actually write Srila Prabhupada and say these were not my ideas actually. So for all these years I have sort of felt that I sort of falsely accepted the credit for something that didn’t really belong to me. But as I was thinking of it, there is another side to it which I just considered yesterday and the other side is that that idea sort of presumes that Srila Prabhupada didn’t know something or didn’t understand something. And then I thought well, actually that is how Prabhupada wanted us to work cooperatively. He wasn’t thinking that one man is going to do everything. That is what he wanted that we work cooperatively. 

So, yes, most of the ideas were theirs, but somehow I took it seriously and I composed the letter and I wrote Srila Prabhupada. So I thought maybe. . . I still probably should have in all honesty admitted they weren’t my ideas, but at the same time I think Prabhupada did see something that he considered worthy and not that I am taking any credit, but I wouldn’t say that he was deluded or illusioned.

So we arranged a program for Srila Prabhupada in Madras and then from Madras he went Visakhapatnam and stopped in Calcutta and went to Mayapur. And he asked me to stay behind in Madras to wind up the activities there. So I came to Mayapur later and when I arrived there Srila Prabhupada was in the grass hut which is still there in a facsimile of it on the same spot. And I went in, it was dusk, and Srila Prabhupada was in such a grave mood. I think he was just thinking of Krishna’s mercy upon him. Now that I know more and especially since reading Sri Bhaktisiddhanta-vaibhava and understanding much more about Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura and his mission I think what contributed to Srila Prabhupada’s mood was knowing how important this was to his guru maharaja to do something in Mayapur. But he was in a very deep mood and his eyes were closed and he looked up and when he looked up he had tears in his eyes and he said, “This is all Krishna’s mercy. So much mercy from Krishna.”

So then he asked for a little report and then he said and he was sort of serious and he said, “During the British rule they had three provinces: Bombay, Calcutta, and Madras. So which do you want?” I said, “Srila Prabhupada, I will do whatever you want me to do. Just tell me what you want me to do.” And he said, “No, I want you to decide.” Now this was a very big challenge because up until then I had always just done what my authorities had told me and I had never made an important decision like that on my own. And I knew that the only way I would be able to make it was if I surrendered more. So I understood, “Srila Prabhupada wants me to surrender more because otherwise how will I get the answer.” So I was always thinking about this. And that was when Prabhupada had the cornerstone laying ceremony and he was so happy. There is a photo of him with his god-brothers that he really liked and it was a major, major event.

From Mayapur we went to Calcutta. So I was so preoccupied, “Where am I going to go? What am I going to do?” And every morning—it was like my policy to chant twelve rounds before I did anything else. I couldn’t really function if I didn’t chant my twelve rounds—so I would chant and I would pray to Radha-Govinda and I wasn’t getting any answer. And Prabhupada was going to be leaving. I didn’t want him to leave with it inconclusive. So I thought, “I could try to get him to indicate in some subtle way what he wanted me to do.” So I hatched this plan to trick Srila Prabhupada into revealing what he wanted me to do. 

So I went into his room in Calcutta—same room is there—and sat at his feet and said, “You know I have been thinking that I should go back to Madras,” and then I gave all the reasons for why I should go back to Madras. And he said, “Yes, you can do.” So then to see if there would be any difference in his reaction I said, “But then again I was thinking I should stay in Calcutta,” and then I gave all the reasons why I should stay in Calcutta. And with the exact same expression, absolutely exactly the same, he said, “Yes, you can do.” So I started to get a sinking feeling that my plan wasn’t working, but I already invested in it so I played it out and I said, “But then again I was thinking I should go to Bombay,” and then I gave all the reasons why I should go to Bombay, “Yes, you can do.” Exactly the same. I was embarrassed but at the same time I was also exhilarated that my spiritual master was so intelligent he couldn’t be fooled by some silly disciple.

But it was still an issue and I. . . but anyway one day, it was one of those things, Krishna’s mercy, one day I just got an insight that I should go to Bombay that life membership was the most important. Prabhupada said, “If you just give me three life members a day I will do everything else.” So it was the most important program, Bombay was the head office, we weren’t servicing the life members well, so I was thinking that if we take good care of them they themselves will make more members; we won’t even have to do it. But if we don’t take care of them, they will complain to others, and even if we go personally to make them members, they won’t become members because they would have heard complaints about us. So this was my thought. So I wrote Srila Prabhupada and he said, “Yes, come to Bombay immediately.” I went.

At that time the main leader, Prabhupada had actually brought him to Bombay, was Brahmananda Prabhu, but there was difficulty in Nairobi or they may have been other factors, but Prabhupada said, “There are difficulties in Nairobi,” he said to Brahmananda, “They need you back.” So there was a big question who would take charge. And I was listening. Gargamuni, maybe he thought he was the one. Different talks. And so Prabhupada called in all the men—whoever—he called everyone in and to everyone’s surprise including my own, he looked at me and said, “So, Giriraj, you will take charge?” And when he said that I winced because my idea was to come to Bombay to do life membership. I was never really a manager, but I knew our philosophy to obey the order of the spiritual master, work to please to spiritual master, but I was shaken, and I said, “Well, if that is what you want.” He said, “Yes.” And then he sort of leaned back and he started chuckling and he said, “Now all the responsibility is on you.” [laughter] And he started chuckling. And I was thinking, “Oh my god, how could he say that! Doesn’t he know how I am feeling?”

That is a long history, I am sure you know some of it, I hope everyone has read Śrīla Prabhupāda-līlāmṛta. I really feel every devotee in ISKCON should read Śrīla Prabhupāda-līlāmṛta and whatever nice books there are about Srila Prabhupada. 

And Sankara dasa was there for a while. He would cook for the Deities. He had a little garden in one of the corners. I hope he doesn’t mind my saying, but nothing was happening, nothing was growing. And so every morning on his morning walk Srila Prabhupada would pass by that little corner and week after week, month after month nothing was coming up, and sometimes Sankara dasa would come and explain and once after that Prabhupada said, “He is just bluffing. He doesn’t know what he is doing.” But then somehow after some months things started to come up. It was a flourishing little garden there in the corner and then Prabhupada was happy. We had many complexities and again you should read about them.

And then one day Srila Prabhupada came from abroad and so he came out of the car from the airport and I escorted or followed him up the stairs. I looked out the window and I saw a new. . . there was a new man wearing saffron, taking Prabhupada’s suitcases out of the trunk of the car. So I asked one of the devotees who had come with Srila Prabhupada, “Who is that?” “Oh that is Ambarisa. Alfred Ford, Henry Ford’s great grandson.” I said, “That is Ambarisa?” He was just like a humble brahmachari carrying Prabhupada’s suitcases and wearing saffron. He did have hair, but other than that he looked. . . 

So now what is Ambarisa Prabhu going to do? So I was meeting a lot of the top people in Bombay and getting a lot of support for the Juhu project and I don’t know how it was determined, but I guess I asked Prabhupada or I don’t know, he would have suggested it, but that Ambarisa Prabhu would come out with me. So, wow what a great opportunity. So I formulated a list of all—there weren’t that many because most of the big people then were quite pious—but I compiled a list of the really big people who were avoiding me. In other words, the hard nuts to crack, the most materialistic entrepreneurs. And I phoned them and I said, “Alfred Ford has come from America and would want to meet you.” And that opened a lot of doors. But I learned something from that. I thought they would change by seeing, but a lot of them, when they met him, they thought,” What is wrong with him? He could be an heir to a great fortune and he has become a Hare Krishna. What is with him?” So it didn’t work quite the way I had hoped.

But then this is another one of those confessions, I was really staunch in my mood, very staunch like I wouldn’t go to restaurants or anything, wouldn’t spend money on anything. And it was hot and humid and poor Ambarisa Prabhu would say, “Can’t we stop for a few minutes? Can’t we have a juice or something?” “No. No maya. No.” Please forgive me for being so fanatical. But once I guess I felt a little compassion or had a little glimmer of so we went in and we got some fresh fruit juice.

So poor Ambarisa Prabhu, I came into the room once and he was speaking to Srila Prabhupada and he said, “Srila Prabhupada, why does Giriraj have to go out every day and collect like this. I will just build the temple for you.” [laughter] And Prabhupada said, “No.” He wouldn’t accept that generous offer. 

And then before Ambarisa Prabhu left he had quite a serious meeting with Srila Prabhupada about his future. This is what I recall. You might have other recollections that you could also share with us. But Srila Prabhupada said that he wanted Ambarisa to work because at that time all the devotees were “full-time” devotees who lived in the temple and were fully engaged in the mission, and Srila Prabhupada said he wanted people to see that someone could be a devotee and at the same time be a responsible member of the society. And then Ambarisa Prabhu asked, “Must I work with the Ford Motor Company?” And Prabhupada said, “No, that is your choice, but you should do some work. People will see you are doing some work.” And then Ambarisa Prabhu asked, “Well, if I am working, what will I do about association?” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “If while you are working you are thinking, ‘I am doing this for Krishna,’ that will be your association.” So very important instructions.

Would you like to share anything at this stage?

Ambarisa Prabhu: No, Maharaja, like I said to you yesterday, I wanted to apologize because I was kind of a baby back in those days. You mentioned dysentery and I had dysentery and I remember we used to go out for the morning walk on Juhu Beach and I would see all the planes going back to America, flying over and everything, and I was thinking, “Oh my god, get me on one of those planes!” [laughter] And I was kind of sick. And then every morning your room was right across that little alley between the two buildings. I was staying in Prabhupada’s building. And your office was right across. And you would open your shutter and you would go, “Ambarisa Prabhu.” And I would go, “Oh!” We are going to go out and do this again. 

But, Maharaja, I take the dust of your feet because you really taught me so much and now that I am engaged in trying to help build Mayapur project your example of your laser focus on getting that temple built in Bombay is such an inspiration for me that I am very, very grateful for your association during those days. I remember them very fondly.

But one thing I will share which you didn’t mention about when we used to go to visit the hard nuts that sometimes we would get thrown out of people’s offices when they found out we wanted to make the life members. They would throw us out. So there was a lot of lessons of humility back in those days. But thank you very much, Maharaja, for your association back then. It was really wonderful. It cut my teeth. Thank you. [applause]

Giriraj Swami: I feel this story of responsibility has sort of come to a certain point. Srila Prabhupada did say that advancing in Krishna consciousness means accepting more and more responsibility for Krishna. Because accepting responsibility in a way means giving up sense gratification. It means you have to really be focused on your service.

But there was something instructive that happened in Madras not directly related to this theme, but related to the holy name, and I appreciated Kishore Krishna’s question last night about Srila Prabhupada and the holy name. So towards the end of my stay in Madras a song was playing on the radios all the time and in India then people would play their radios very loud. In fact, once Srila Prabhupada was in his room in Juhu and some body’s radio was blaring very loudly and Prabhupada said, “They want to show off they have a radio.” So I was hearing this song all the time and the refrain was Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Hare Krishna Hare Rama. So I asked a host of ours in Madras, “What is that? What does it mean?” And he said, “Well, the words mean, ‘with every breather that I take, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama.’” I thought, “Wow, that is really nice.” Later I found out that it wasn’t exactly what it meant. I don’t know if he was just being polite, but the actual translation is, “With every puff that I take, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama.” 

So, from Madras I came to Calcutta, Mayapur, and then back to Calcutta. So the movie which was titled, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Hare Krishna, was playing at a posh theatre in an affluent commercial area of Calcutta. And some America devotees had great success doing hari-nāma in front of the musical Hair. So we will just go and do hari-nāma in front of the theatre and we will distribute the books and magazines. It was like that. It was good. It was really good. One crowd would come out and then the other crowd would go in. And so after the crowd went in for the last show I thought, “Let me go in and take a look and see what this is.” 

I sort of snuck into the theatre and took a seat and it was huge screen and black inside and very loud amplification. The opening, the narrator’s voice was very resonant, deep and resonant, “For centuries India’s spiritual culture remained within the shores of India.” And it showed waves coming in from the ocean onto the beach. “But one man. . .” Then it flashed to a picture of Srila Prabhupada, huge picture of Srila Prabhupada. “But one man took India’s culture outside the shores of India.” And then was a map of India and then an arrow showing how Prabhupada took Krishna consciousness. And then it showed the London Ratha-yatra and it was so impressive on this large screen and very good recording of kirtan. And then it flashed to another kirtan at home in Juhu actually before we had the Juhu land, and Madhudvisa Prabhu was leading the kirtan, and devotees were chanting and dancing. I thought, “Wow!” And then it switched and it showed hippies—now it was actors and actresses playing the roles of hippies—smoking hashish and chanting Hare Krishna, Hare Rama. And then it turned out the whole theme of the movie was that basically Prabhupada was teaching hippies to chant Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, and at the same time they are smoking hashish and having free sex and like that—really bad. And then I walked out.

And Srila Prabhupada commented that—this is what he said—he said the government was behind this because they don’t want Krishna consciousness to flourish in India. But then he said something that was very striking and he said that, “In the long run the movie will help us because eventually people will forget the Dum Maro Dum and they will just remember the Hare Krishna, Hare Rama.” 

As I described from Calcutta I went to Bombay and at first it was really hellish. We’d always hear this music and there were a lot of street urchins in Bombay and as soon as they saw us, they would just come out from all directions and converge on us and mock us and they would go like this, “Dum Maro Dum,” they knew the whole song by heart. And “Hare Krishna, Hare Rama.” But the main thing was “Dum Maro Dum. Dum Maro Dum.” So it was really hellish. But then as time passed, maybe after six months or so, they would come out just the same, but instead mainly being Dum Maro Dum it was half and half, Dum Maro Dum, Hare Krishna, Hare Rama. And then again after another six months or maybe a year they would come out and the Dum Maro Dum had fallen away and it was just Hare Krishna, Hare Rama. Then I thought, “Yes, Srila Prabhupada knows the science.” He knew that Dum Maro Dum was a mundane vibration—they would get sick of it—and the Hare Krishna, Hare Rama was transcendental and it would always be fresh. So that is true.

Devotee (1): Maharaja, the song that you heard on the radio, was that related to the movie?

Giriraj Swami: Yes, it was the theme song of the movie. It was Devanand and he produced the film and he also played the hero.

This is something I don’t usually say, but since you are all confidential devotees, someone came to Srila Prabhupada and said, “You know who Devanand is? Do you know what he has done?” Prabhupada said, “Yes. I urinate in his face.” [laughter] But that is just between us. But yes, Prabhupada was timeless.

I will tell another one on the subject on that subject of raising funds for Juhu. So after a long struggle with many ups and downs, Srila Prabhupada finally got the land in the name of ISKCON. And then he had to raise for the project. So maybe the day after or two days after I was in his room with Dr. Patel who Srila Prabhupada would walk with every morning in Juhu Beach and there are many recordings of Srila Prabhupada’s conversations with Dr. Patel. So Srila Prabhupada was saying, “Okay, now we have to raise the funds.” And Dr. Patel said, “You have to bring the money from America.” And Prabhupada didn’t like that. He said, “Yes, I can bring the money from America, but then what is your credit?” He said, “Bombay is such a place if people wanted they could give the whole amount in one day.” Dr. Patel said, “Yes, but they don’t want.” And Prabhupada did not like it. And Dr. Patel said, “Prabhupada, I don’t want to discourage you.” And the Prabhupada said, “But you are discouraging me.”

So, in a way Prabhupada could become discouraged and he could feel anxiety. Sometimes we might have an artificial idea of what a pure devotee is, but what I understood from my association with Srila Prabhupada is that a pure devotee has all the sentiments that anyone has but it is all for Krishna. Of course internally he has his relationship with Krishna and he feels pleasure in chanting and hearing about Krishna, but he is so fully absorbed in Krishna’s mission that in relation to the mission he can feel discouraged, he can feel encouraged, he can feel anxiety. 

There was one incident that took place in Juhu. Initially I think the site supervisor and the

storekeeper were brothers-in-law and I found this out later, Prabhupada was in East Africa—Nairobi or Mombasa—and he wasn’t eating. Brahmananda Prabhu asked him, “Srila Prabhupada, why aren’t you eating?” And he said, “How can I eat when my property is being stolen?” And we did even know it, but what happened was that one of the tenants had written Srila Prabhupada that the storekeeper was taking cement and other materials from the stores and throwing it over the compound wall into the neighbor’s property—it was a whole ring—and then they were collecting the materials and selling it and making money. And Prabhupada was in Nairobi, he knew that was going on. We were in Juhu, we didn’t know what was going on.

Anyway, Prabhupada came to Bombay and he was very concerned and he was even questioning why would Saurabha who was the head of the construction, why would he allow an arrangement where the brother-in-law was the storekeeper and of the site supervisor. He was saying, “If he wants money we can pay him, but he doesn’t have to do this.” And then he said—it is very hard because what Prabhupada said was so deep, it had meaning on so many levels, it is hard to know everything that went into it—but what he said was, “I came to Krishna consciousness for a life of bliss and instead I have a life of anxiety.” “I am thinking he might have been echoing what our thoughts might have been, and he had a hand gesture, “I came to Krishna consciousness for a life of bliss, but instead I have a life of anxiety.” Of course there is truth to it.

So he had to deal with a lot of problems. There was a whole conspiracy in Juhu. The thing about the construction supplies was a small one, but there was a much bigger one about the land, the property, and everything else. And our lawyer was in the conspiracy with Mr. Nair and so after it was all done, Srila Prabhupada said, “I could not understand that Mr. So-and-so was known to be a very pious man, was not our friend.” And then I was thinking, “How is that?” And then he said, “Oh, maybe Krishna didn’t want me to know.” 

Anyway, at the end of it, when we finally got the land, there was a little celebration, set off a few feeble Indian fireworks, and had something of a feast that we could muster together. But at the end Srila Prabhupada went back to his room, and leaned back on the bolsters of his asana and said, “It was a good fight! Someone should write a book about it.”

We all have our struggles. Mayapur, it is certainly a major endeavor, and in our own ways we all have our big and small struggles, but if we keep Srila Prabhupada’s example in mind and instructions in mind, we will be successful. Successful means that we will be successful. There are different meanings to being successful, but primarily it means that Prabhupada and Krishna will be pleased. But as Krishna says at the end of Bhagavad-gītā, yatra yogesvara krsna, that, “Wherever there is Krishna, the master of all mystic powers and Arjuna, the expert bowman, there will be victory, morality, extraordinary power, and opulence.” That is pretty good too.

Thank you all very much. I am so honored and I feel so blessed to be with all of you, my first visit to Alachua, such a vibrant community, so many wonderful devotees, such a nice spirit of Krishna consciousness. I am relishing, I am really relishing every moment here. Hare Krishna. [applause]

Devotee (2): On this point of Srila Prabhupada supposedly becoming discouraged or feelings on this level, couldn’t it also be like Arjuna seemed to be discouraged on the battlefield when he saw his relatives and even his bows and arrows dropped from his hands. The way we see that is because Arjuna is an eternal associate of Krishna that he actually under yoga-māyā made him feel that way, not that he is actually a conditioned soul being overcome by different modes of nature.

Giriraj Swami: Srila Prabhupada is not a conditioned soul, but even a pure devotee who is beyond the modes of nature can feel transcendental emotions that resemble feeling discouraged or feeling anxiety. He never gave up the fight, but another time to put it the other way, when he was in Wardha—we went for this Gītā conference—and he was getting reports about book distribution and he said, “When I see all of you enthusiastic to distribute my books, my enthusiasm increases.” I think it is just spiritual personality and individuality.

Like Sai, Siddha-svarūpa, once said to Srila Prabhupada, “The thing I can’t stand about your devotees is they are always in anxiety.” And Prabhupada said, “That is their love. The gopīs were always in anxiety for Krishna.”

A bhajanānandī’s mood is different. He doesn’t really have anxiety because he is mainly absorbed in bhajana, but a goṣṭhyānandī, he accepts anxiety for the sake of the mission.

Advaita Acharya dasa: Can I make a brief comment and then one question. Number one, Maharaja, at your lotus feet where you walk the dust [we take on our heads?] to purify ourselves because my friends, Maharaja singlehandedly built [the Juhu temple]? A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami and collected astronomical amount of money for Bombay yatra. Hare Krishna Land in Juhu is a landmark and I was telling my friend that [?] put a condition and Maharaja gave a personal account that no money could come from America because no ISKCON temple will be. . . because every ISKCON temple has to be self-sustaining. So Maharaja fulfilled Hare Krishna Land and Maharaja in that context I should say that the age of Kali is so prominent and so powerful in India that this man, evil man, who brought this song, maha-mantra, but with ulterior motive, he just left his body as an orphan in England. He could not get to leave his body in India.

But the other thing I wanted to say that His Divine Grace in Vrindavan, you have a first class hospice, Bhaktivedanta Swami hospice, where Prabhupada greets when you walk in and that is [?]. Maharaja has done the project so efficiently, so quietly, and so expertly. So my friends, not only Bhaktivedanta hospice in Vrindavan, but Maharaja also has a women’s ashram in Vrindavan. Maharaja doesn’t say, much but that is why I say if we can roll in the dust of his lotus feet. . . it is fact that we may be able to do something for the mission. . . [applause]

Giriraj Swami: What is your good name?

Devotees: Advaita Acharya.

Giriraj Swami: Advaita Acharya. Well, I must tell you there is an element of truth to what you said, but singlehandedly is not accurate. It was not singlehandedly. It was definitely a team effort and it is true I was the temple president and the life membership director, but we had five teams going out. I led one team, His Holiness Sridhara Swami led another team, His Holiness Lokanath Swami led another team, and Jagad Purusa Prabhu led a team, and a Bengali devotee named Haridasa Prabhu, he led a team. 

As far as the Bhaktivedanta hospice, it is good that you brought it up because if devotees come to stage where they have to leave their body, they can go there. And I did have the idea and I got a very sizeable amount to build it, but there too it is really His Holiness Radhanath Swami and the doctors and administrators from Bhaktivedanta hospital who have combined with us and they’ve really taken the responsibility for the medical services. Many people are contributing. 

As far as the women’s ashram, Kirtan Ashram, it is there. Senior devotees go there and can stay for a while. Yamuna devi stayed there, Malati stays there. That is there. It is all Prabhupada’s mercy. Hare Krishna.

Devotee (3): Everyone who had the association of Prabhupada have the understanding and appreciation of his qualities. In your opinion and based on your association, what was the most important quality that he manifested?

Giriraj Swami: My first thought was humility and my second thought was love for Krishna. But he was an ocean of auspicious qualities. We sing it every day in the Gurv-aṣṭaka. I would say those two and the two go together: humility and love for Krishna and love for Krishna includes love for all living entities.

One interesting thing Srila Prabhupada said was that the one thing that he found very difficult being a spiritual master was having to correct disciples. He said because they are all Vaishnavas and he found it very painful to have to criticize Vaishnavas, but as their spiritual master he felt it was his duty. He was an ocean. 

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare/ Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.