Palika Dasi’s Memorial Program

Giriraj Swami: My association with Pallika Mataji goes back to 1978 after Mahaprabhu dasa came to the temple and began to associate with devotees. I could relate to many things that other devotees mentioned especially to Pallika Mataji’s living in a glass house at that time. Gradually as Mahaprabhu dasa was preaching and bringing more and more people into Krishna consciousness, they would come home and although the temple was open there were still a lot of difficulties. The people who had opposed Srila Prabhupada getting the land and building the temple didn’t stop their efforts. And in fact after Prabhupada left, in a way, they increased their efforts trying to take advantage of his absence. So Mahaprabhu dasa was a lawyer and a fighter and so I would come here quite often, and Pallika Mataji, and actually Mahaprabhu dasa’s mother also. She was also amazing. I would need prasāda because usually I would have something in the morning and then I would go to the city and there was nothing. If I was in the mood to splurge I would get one of those combs of chickpeas at the Churchgate station, but if I was in a more austere mood I would skip it. So I would come here on the way back and what the others said too, she was very conscious of the time. She would be very fast and always come up with something, these rotis and dahi or something.

And there was one night in particular when the rumor was, coming from the other side, that they were going to kill me. They were waiting for me to come back from the city to kill me. So I went to Mahaprabhu dasa’ house and the same thing; the hospitality, the prasāda, but that night went especially late because they were supposed to be waiting for me and I didn’t particularly think it wise to go back to Juhu. Then finally at about 3:00 in the morning, I figured they have probably given up, but I don’t know. Within my heart, I felt I can go back, so about 3:30 I went back. But throughout all of these visits, Pallika Mataji, she never complained. Not only did she not complain, but she was always ready to serve and support. And then of course when we opened, I always called it and I guess that is the name, the (Unintelligible 00:06:30) satsang center, she was very regular. So many devotees have said so many things and it is late, I don’t want to repeat what they have said but maybe I will just skip towards the end.

I also got the message just before she left and I phoned about that time, and I heard the kirtan in the background. And then I thought the call was dropped but then I phoned back and the phone had been turned off. It wasn’t the right time in a way. And I was thinking how could this have happened because I was so determined and they were also hopeful when they began the palliative care, she seemed to be getting better. So I was very hopeful I will see her at least one last time at Bhaktivedanta Hospital. And then when she left, I just couldn’t understand. How could this have happened? But then, actually Rasbihari das, came to visit me. He had been wanting to visit me and he came to visit me, and at that stage he had been in communication with Giri Govardhana, and he said, there was a little misunderstanding. He thought he was going to catch the train the next day and I am scheduled to leave before them but I really want to be here.

So on the spot we phoned and then I felt there was a meaning to my being in Vrindavan and not in Bombay. So Giri Govardhana Prabhu arrived with the ashes, and I wasn’t sure what he or the family expected in terms of rituals. And usually devotees arranged for Mukunda Datta Prabhu who is the head pujari in Vrindavan, to do the ceremonial functions but he wasn’t available. And Giri Govardhana said, “My mother wouldn’t care for any of these things. If you just come even if it is just for five minutes that will mean more to her than any elaborate ritual.” I thought he spoke the truth which is also a testimony to her inner faith and conviction in Krishna consciousness; her going straight to the essence, not being concerned with or distracted by drills and ornaments. And what Giri Govardhana said was true. That day the sun came out, and so we went to the Yamuna; we got a boat, went out on the Yamuna and we just had kirtan. I thought she is a person of essence; she just wants the essence and the essence is the holy name.

So we are just saying the maṅgala-ācaraṇa prayers, the Pancha-tattva mantra, the Hare Krishna maha-mantra for quite some time. And in my own subjective way, I was feeling her presence and her love and her mercy, and then at a certain time I felt now we should immerse the ashes. And Giri Govardhana asked me if I would like to do it, but I felt, no. And I also felt that was coming from her, that he is the son, he should do it and he did. And we continued kirtan, saying the Nṛsiṁha prayers and it was a very fitting ceremony because it was just kirtan, it was just the basics that Srila Prabhupada had taught us. So then we took the boat back to the shore and Giri Govardhana, he was concerned about my health, he suggested if I wanted I could go back, and I said “No, I want to stay.” So he went into the Yamuna, took his bath and did his Gayatri. I did Gayatri from the shore; and he came back and it was just glorious. It was really glorious and it was very clear what a pure devotee she was, what an exalted soul she was. This is just one little part of a long story of how Krishna made so many wonderful arrangements for her.

So now we have that challenge to continue without her physical presence. By her departure she has already done so much to bring out our loving feelings and to make us more humble, and to begin to help us to carry on without her. And as Srila Prabhupada said, “Your love for me will be shown by how you cooperate after I leave.” So I think she would be pleased with all the progress that has been made. So many of the girls; I didn’t know a lot of the history but it seems that she was very instrumental in helping train them. And I guess what is left for us is to carry on her tradition, her values, her selfless service, her affectionate mood of service, and her wanting only the best for Krishna and not being satisfied with anything less.

I think that we are off to a good start. It sounds like a funny thing to say, I think we are off to a good start, but the main thing is to keep this memory alive and keep this determination strong. And that can be achieved in the same way, by my strong sadhana; getting up early, chanting attentively and constantly as far as possible, and following the regulative principle strictly, and associating with each other in this way; remembering her, remembering her values, remembering her wishes and desires and instructions. Because she is in a position to guide us and bless us. It is quite remarkable to have a family member in that position and there is no need for me to pray to her, because out of her boundless love and mercy she is already bestowing upon all of you whatever she can from her position, and it is a lot. But still we pray to her.

It is like Bob Cohen when he was speaking with Srila Prabhupada at Mayapur and that conversation was recorded in the book, Perfect Questions, Perfect Answers. He asks Srila Prabhupada, “Does Krishna hear our prayers?” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “He hears all of your thoughts whether you pray or not; he hears all of your thoughts.” So then he asked, “Then what is the use of praying?” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “Your business is to pray.” So I feel that way. It is our business to pray for her mercy, to take her blessings, take the dust from her feet, take her hand on our head, and in doing so she will just continue to give the love and mercy that she has been giving. Because spiritual life is such, it is unlimited but it is always increasing and so that will also increase too.

So I feel very honored and humbled to be here on this occasion as I was in Vrindavan, and I thank you all for being so dear to her. Each and every one of you was dear to her and I am thankful to you all for coming and gathering and remembering her and encouraging her by your service and love.

Hare Krishna