Appearance Day of Tamal Krishna Goswami

Giriraj Swami: So, I am going to read something that I wrote. It was actually the morning that the deities in Houston were moved from their old temple to the new temple, it was not the official opening of the new temple, but it was the day when they were moved into the new temple. I will read you what I wrote, and then I will explain the significance of it in relation to Tamal Krishna Goswami.

“Last night I had the deepest, most beautiful dream about Srila Prabhupada. He had come to some large temple community in America or India for some days and was about to leave the place perhaps the next morning. I felt within me that his health was not good, and that I may never see him again, and I wanted some last instruction from him to keep within my heart, which would guide me for the rest of my life. He came out of his quarters into a large reception area where devotees were standing and waiting, and slowly made his way through them on his way out. He saw me and walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace. I also held him firmly in my arms, but I felt as if I was melting into his body. He hugged me for a very long time, maybe ten minutes, and then released me to continue on to his preaching program. I felt like a new person, completely transformed and cleansed and purified, but I still wanted some last instruction from him. He looked at me with tremendous love and compassion. ‘Srila Prabhupada! I exclaimed. ‘I just want to dedicate my life to you, my whole life.’ Then added, ‘And I am not just saying it like something devotees are supposed to say, I really mean it.’ He smiled broadly and replied, ‘I know. You are a good boy. Be good and stay good.’ ‘Only by your mercy,’ I thought. Then he turned and left.”

So, that was the dream I had before waking up, and I didn’t want to lose any of it, so I wrote down pretty much what I just read to you, and then I got ready to go to the temple. Now, that day was extremely intense and powerful spiritually. Everyone who was there felt it, and I walked into the temple room, and Nila Madhava dasa was leading kirtan, and there was a very deep, sublime mood, and everyone was focused on the deities because Radha-Nilamadhava are very big and heavy, and there was concern that They shouldn’t be inconvenienced or hurt or damaged during the move. And at the same time, everyone was completely focused on Tamal Krishna Goswami because the temple was his desire. The temple was manifest because of his desire, and it took a long time, but finally, it was ready to receive the deities. And His Holiness Ṛtadhvaja Swami was also there, and a small group of devotees. It was during the week, on Friday morning. The atmosphere was very sublime.

So, I came in, and I came to the vyāsāsana, and I offered my obeisances. And the first person I saw, of course Srila Prabhupada was there on his seat, but in a way, the first person I saw was Tamal Krishna Goswami, his picture on the steps of the vyāsāsana, and I was very much overwhelmed by the dream. It was very much in my consciousness, and I felt that Tamal Krishna Goswami was telling me that now I can go and be with Srila Prabhupada, be completely absorbed in Srila Prabhupada, which I took to mean, clearly it meant to me to be with him and to be absorbed in him and to write about him, to enter the next phase of my writing, which would be about Srila Prabhupada, meeting him in Boston, and ultimately, serving him in Juhu. And during Srila Prabhupada’s manifest presence, (and I have mentioned this even in relation to my sannyasa), that my relationship with Srila Prabhupada was direct, but at the same time, it was also through Tamal Krishna Goswami. But this time, when I experienced that Tamal Krishna Goswami was telling me that, “Now you go and be with Srila Prabhupada," that it was not so much that he was taking me to be with Srila Prabhupada, but he was telling me that, “Now you can go ahead and be with Srila Prabhupada.”

It is not that I had to approach Srila Prabhupada through him. Although it was in a way through him because it was through his instruction, but otherwise, he was just encouraging me to go and be with Srila Prabhupada. And I thought to myself that this is different because up until then, I had experienced going to Srila Prabhupada with Tamal Krishna Goswami; through Tamal Krishna Goswami or with Tamal Krishna Goswami. And then I realized, or I would say maybe it was confirmed, that when Tamal Krishna Goswami took me to Srila Prabhupada, there was no personal interest involved. It wasn’t that he wanted to be between me and Srila Prabhupada or he wanted to get the credit for taking me to Srila Prabhupada, but at the time, he was doing what I needed to have done. But now I felt he was saying that I had reached a certain stage of maturity or development or service where I should just go ahead and absorb myself in Srila Prabhupada and reciprocate with Srila Prabhupada on my own, based on his instruction and with his blessings, but just me and Srila Prabhupada. And then that reciprocation with Srila Prabhupada would come out in the form of the next books.

So, this is very much on my mind, and I am not sure exactly what it means. At the time, I just imagined that I would close myself off from the world and just absorb myself in listening to all of Prabhupada’s talks and conversations from those periods and reading all of his letters. And that will be part of it, but it was a very powerful dream, and then a very powerful instruction. So, I am not sure exactly how to execute it. With Many Moons in particular, I felt Tamal Krishna Goswami constantly prodding me to go ahead with the book and even how to proceed with the book and ultimately, to finish the book. In a way, I feel like praying to him, especially on this occasion, that he should enlighten me in how to proceed, but I am not sure if he just wants me to absorb myself in Srila Prabhupada and then get the direction from absorbing myself in Srila Prabhupada. But Tamal Krishna Goswami had the ability to enter your mind and never leave it. Even if you wanted to get him out of your mind, his presence was such that he would not allow you to get him out of your mind. [laughter]

So somehow, this experience I had with him the morning after the dream, the morning that Radha-Nilamadhava and the other deities were moved to their new temple, is constantly in my mind. But I am sure somehow or other, some revelation will take place, how actually to proceed, and then to actually begin the process. I wanted, on this occasion especially, to share something new, which I have never shared before, and I wanted to share this with Kalachandji dasa but he is still one or two days away, he is driving to Carpinteria at this very moment, and I imagined I would tell him first, but it didn’t work out that way, it worked out that I told you first. So yes, we are all constantly benefiting from Tamal Krishna Goswami’s service and Tamal Krishna Goswami’s association, either in person or through his videos or through his tapes or through his personal association, through his picture, through his samadhi. Yes, you practically can’t look anywhere in ISKCON and not see his presence one way or another. So, we are definitely grateful to him, also that he brought us together today on this auspicious and sacred occasion. Hare Krishna.

Devotees: Hare Krishna.