CC Antya 14 – Sri Govardhana-puja—Ecstatic Feelings of Separation

Giriraj Swami: So, we welcome you to the auspicious celebration of the performance of the Govardhana-puja, the lifting of Govardhana Hill and the humbling [Unintelligible 00:00:26] of Indra. In the evening, I will speak more about Govardhana-puja but now I will speak about Lord Chaitanya’s ecstatic feelings of separation and how they came into play with Govardhana Hill. Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya-līlā, Chapter Fourteen: “Lord Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s Feelings of Separation From Krishna,”

TEXT 1

kṛṣṇa-viccheda-vibhrāntyā

manasā vapuṣā dhiyā

yad yad vyadhatta gaurāṅgas

tal-leśaḥ kathyate ‘dhunā

TRANSLATION

I shall now describe a very small portion of the activities performed by Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu with His mind, intelligence and body when He was bewildered by strong feelings of separation from Kṛṣṇa.

TEXT 2

jaya jaya śrī-caitanya svayaṁ bhagavān

jaya jaya gauracandra bhakta-gaṇa-prāṇa

TRANSLATION

All glories to Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, the Supreme Personality of Godhead! All glories to Lord Gauracandra, the life and soul of His devotees!

TEXT 3

jaya jaya nityānanda caitanya-jīvana

jayādvaitācārya jaya gaura-priyatama

TRANSLATION

All glories to Lord Nityānanda, who is Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s very life! And all glories to Advaita Ācārya, who is extremely dear to Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu!

TEXT 4

jaya svarūpa, śrīvāsādi prabhu-bhakta-gaṇa
śakti deha’, — kari yena caitanya-varṇana

TRANSLATION

All glories to Svarūpa Dāmodara and all the other devotees, headed by Śrīvāsa Ṭhākura! Please give me the strength to describe the character of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu.

TEXT 83

raghunātha-dāsera sadā prabhu-saṅge sthiti

tāṅra mukhe śuni’ likhi kariyā pratīti

TRANSLATION

Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī lived continuously with Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. I am simply recording whatever I have heard from him. Although common men do not believe in these pastimes, I believe in them totally.

TEXT 84

eka-dina mahāprabhu samudre yāite

‘caṭaka’-parvata dekhilena ācambite

TRANSLATION

One day, while Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was going to the sea to bathe, He suddenly saw a sand dune named Caṭaka-parvata.

TEXT 85

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu mistook the sand dune for Govardhana Hill and ran toward it.

COMMENT

Now, the next verse is the verse that is written on the board so we will recite this responsively. Please repeat.

TEXT 86

hantāyam adrir abalā hari-dāsa-varyo

yad rāma-kṛṣṇa-caraṇa-sparaśa-pramodaḥ

mānaṁ tanoti saha-go-gaṇayos tayor yat

pānīya-sūyavasa-kandara-kanda-mūlaiḥ

TRANSLATION

“[Lord Caitanya said:] ‘Of all the devotees, this Govardhana Hill is the best! O my friends, this hill supplies Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma, as well as Their calves, cows and cowherd friends, with all kinds of necessities — water for drinking, very soft grass, caves, fruits, flowers and vegetables. In this way the hill offers respect to the Lord. Being touched by the lotus feet of Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma, Govardhana Hill appears very jubilant.’ ”

PURPORT by Srila Prabhupada

This is a quotation from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (10.21.18). It was spoken by the gopīs when Lord Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma entered the forest in the autumn. The gopīs spoke among themselves and glorified Kṛṣṇa and Balarāma for Their pastimes.

COMMENT

So, we will speak more extensively on this verse in the evening but right now, we are discussing the pastime of Lord Chaitanya’s mistaking Caṭaka-parvata as Govardhana Hill and reciting this verse. And, as we will see, as the pastime unfolds, this word kandara—what does kandara mean?

Devotee: Caves.

Giriraj Swami: Caves. This is very significant in the pastime that is about to unfold. And also, flowers. The Sanskrit says: kanda-mūlaiḥ but the acharyas explain that also includes fruits and flowers and various kinds of vegetables. Text Eighty-seven. Now, this is a very significant part of Krishna consciousness and the descriptions of Lord Chaitanya which are His ecstatic symptoms. And we should consider what is going on inside of Him, inside of the Lord, that would cause such extreme symptoms to be manifest. We can hardly experience anything like that kind of emotion, but yes, we can shed a tear every now and then and that tear is a sign of something that is going on inside of us. So, whatever little we are able to experience, if you multiply that by billions and trillions of times, that is what Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is experiencing internally. And, it is because of the intensity of His internal emotion, ecstatic emotion, transcendental emotion, that He manifests such extreme symptoms externally. So, whenever we hear and we are going to hear; whenever we hear about such ecstatic symptoms, we should try to consider what is going on inside of Him. Now, at the very beginning of Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Sri Krishnadasa Kavirāja Gosvami explains the purposes for Lord Chaitanya’s descent. It is right in the fifth verse, fifth and sixth verses. So, you must have heard this; I am sure you’ve heard this. So, what are the reasons for Lord Chaitanya’s descent? Why did Krishna come as Chaitanya Mahaprabhu? There are three reasons, but I will be happy if someone can say one.

Devotee: To teach us the chanting of the maha-mantra. 

Giriraj Swami: Yes, that is true. Yes. . . 

Devotee: To give everyone prema. . .

Giriraj Swami: To give everyone prema. Yes.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 00:22:18]

Giriraj Swami: Sorry. . .

Devotee: [Unintelligible 00:22:25]

Giriraj Swami: Yes, now this is coming close. Sri Sri Radha-Nilamadhava ki jaya! Yes, there are internal reasons and external reasons, and the reasons all of you gave are correct, but this particular verse refers to the internal reasons. Kalindi. . .

Kalindi: Krishna wanted to experience the love that Srimati Radharani experiences. 

Giriraj Swami: Yes, Krishna wanted to experience the love that Srimati Radharani feels in relationship, and experience the happiness that Srimati Radharani feels in Krishna’s love. So, this is going on in these pastimes: that purpose for which Chaitanya Mahaprabhu descended—to experience Srimati Radharani’s love for Krishna—that is happening now, and it is very intense. It is extremely intense. Radharani’s love for Krishna in separation, specifically, in separation. So, yes, what Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is experiencing in essence is what Srimati Radharani experiences in separation from Krishna, and it is very extreme. But, although externally it appears like misery, internally it is actually ecstasy. Externally, it appears like agony but internally it is ecstasy, and that also becomes revealed in this pastime.

TEXT 87

Reciting this verse, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu ran toward the sand dune as fast as the wind. Govinda ran after Him, but he could not approach Him.

COMMENT

Govinda is Mahaprabhu’s personal servant. 

TEXT 88

First one devotee shouted loudly, and then a tumultuous uproar arose as all the devotees stood up and began to run after the Lord.

TEXT 89

Svarūpa Dāmodara Gosvāmī, Jagadānanda Paṇḍita, Gadādhara Paṇḍita, Rāmāi, Nandāi and Śaṅkara Paṇḍita are some of the devotees who ran after Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu.

TEXT 90

Paramānanda Purī and Brahmānanda Bhāratī also went toward the beach, and Bhagavān Ācārya, who was lame, followed them very slowly.

TEXT 91

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu was running with the speed of the wind, but He suddenly became stunned in ecstasy and lost all strength to proceed further.

COMMENT

So, stambha, being stunned, is one of the symptoms of ecstatic ecstasy, I mean ecstatic love, and being stunned means that one cannot move externally. 

TEXT 92

The flesh at each of His pores erupted like pimples, and His bodily hairs, standing on end, appeared like kadamba flowers.

TEXT 93

Blood and perspiration flowed incessantly from every pore of His body, and He could not speak a word but simply produced a gargling sound within His throat.

TEXT 94

The Lord’s eyes filled and overflowed with unlimited tears, like the Ganges and Yamunā meeting in the sea.

TEXT 95

His entire body faded to the color of a white conchshell, and then He began to quiver like the waves in the ocean.

TEXT 96

While quivering in this way, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu fell down on the ground. Then Govinda approached Him.

TEXT 97

Govinda sprinkled water from a karaṅga waterpot all over the Lord’s body, and then, taking His own outer garment, he began to fan Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu.

TEXT 98

When Svarūpa Dāmodara and the other devotees reached the spot and saw the condition of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu, they began to cry.

COMMENT

So, not only are these symptoms extreme, but in the case of an ordinary person or devotee, the physical body could not bear such extreme ecstasy. In fact, it is said that the physical body cannot bear the full manifestation of the ecstatic symptoms in the stage of prema. And, Caitanya Mahaprabhu is far beyond prema. The Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu explains that after prema, there are still further developments of prema, of love: sneha, maan, raag, anuraag, bhāva, and mahā-bhāva. Mahā-bhāva can really only be experienced by Srimati Radharani and Her close associates. And, so, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is experiencing mahā-bhāva. And, even simple prema is. . . it really cannot be contained in this physical body and when one comes to that stage, one leaves the physical body, and joins the pastimes of Krishna. But, of course, Mahaprabhu’s body wasn’t physical but still. . . that He was, in part, playing like a human being. And, all the devotees loved Him as their life and soul. They looked at Him more than their very selves so seeing Him in that condition, they all began to cry.

TEXT 99

All eight kinds of transcendental transformations were visible in the Lord’s body. All the devotees were struck with wonder to see such a sight.

PURPORT

The eight ecstatic symptoms are the state of being stunned, perspiration, standing of the bodily hairs on end, faltering of the voice, trembling, fading of the body’s color, tears and devastation.

TEXT 100

The devotees loudly chanted the Hare Kṛṣṇa mantra near Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu and washed His body with cold water.

TEXT 101

After the devotees had been chanting for a long time, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu suddenly stood up and shouted, “Haribol!”

COMMENT

Say, “Haribol!”

Devotees: Haribol! Haribol!

Giriraj Swami: Haribol!

Devotees: Haribol!

Giriraj Swami: Haribol!

Devotees: Haribol!

Giriraj Swami:

TEXT 102

When Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu stood up, all the Vaiṣṇavas loudly chanted, “Hari! Hari!” in great jubilation.

COMMENT

Hari Hari!

Devotees: Hari Hari!

Giriraj Swami: Hari Hari!

Devotees: Hari Hari!

Giriraj Swami: Hari Hari!

Devotees: Hari Hari!

Giriraj Swami: In great Jubilations!

TEXT 102 (continued)

The auspicious sound filled the air in all directions.

TEXT 103

Astonished, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu stood up and began looking here and there, trying to see something. But He could not catch sight of it.

TEXT 104

When Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu saw all the Vaiṣṇavas, He returned to partial external consciousness and spoke to Svarūpa Dāmodara.

COMMENT

So, earlier, the author of Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta explained that Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu had three phases of consciousness: one is external consciousness which we all have bāhya-daśā, and then there is internal consciousness antar-daśā. In other words, when Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was stunned, and then He collapsed onto the sand, He was in internal consciousness antar-daśā. And, then when the devotees came, and they sprinkled cold water on Him and fanned Him and chanted the holy name, He came to partial external consciousness—ardha-bāhya-daśā. And, in that state, He disclosed what was going on internally. If He was in full external consciousness, He would not speak about these things. But, because He was still partially in that state of internal consciousness, and not fully aware of the external circumstances and especially the devotees, the presence of the devotees, who would be hearing what He would be saying, because He wasn’t completely conscious of that, He spoke and thus gave us an opportunity to get a glimpse of what was going on internally. 

TEXT 105

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu said, “Who has brought Me here from Govardhana Hill? I was seeing Lord Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes, but now I cannot see them.

TEXT 106

“Today I went from here to Govardhana Hill to find out if Kṛṣṇa was tending His cows there.

TEXT 107

“I saw Lord Kṛṣṇa climbing Govardhana Hill and playing His flute, surrounded on all sides by grazing cows.

TEXT 108

“Hearing the vibration of Kṛṣṇa’s flute, Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī and all Her gopī friends came there to meet Him. They were all very nicely dressed.

TEXT 109

“When Kṛṣṇa and Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī entered a cave together, the other gopīs asked Me to pick some flowers.

COMMENT

So, of course, this is a very intricate and esoteric subject but it is a special occasion and we should at least be aware of these topics. But yes, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu came to experience Srimati Radharani’s love for Krishna. But, He also, along with experiencing Her love directly, He wanted to experience the love that Her assistant gopīs feel for Krishna, for Radha and Krishna. So, at this particular stage, because He is in the mood of separation, but that separation has brought Him to meeting internally, and in that meeting, he cannot be Srimati Radharani. That would not be proper according to His mood so He is actually in the mood of an assistant servant to the gopīs. And, so they. . . and this is our philosophy, and this is our position, nāhaṁ vipro na we are not anything of this material world but gopī-bhartuḥ pada-kamalayor dāsa-dāsānudāsaḥ or servant of the servant of the servants of Krishna, the maintainer of the gopīs. So, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was actually experiencing that—internally being the servant of the servant of the servants of Krishna. And so, they asked Him or Her to collect flowers—that was His service—to collect flowers. How many devotees here collect flowers for Radha-Nilamadhava? That is what Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was asked to do by the gopīs, a very elevated service. Actually, everything we do here is very elevated. Then, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu says:

TEXT 110

“Just then, all of you made a tumultuous sound and carried Me from there to this place.

TEXT 111

“Why have you brought Me here, causing Me unnecessary pain? I had a chance to see Kṛṣṇa’s pastimes, but I could not see them.”

COMMENT

So, this is very paradoxical that externally His symptoms were very extreme, and they were unbearable for the devotees to see because we read that blood and perspiration were flowing from His pores. So, they couldn’t bear to see that because it did put like so much suffering, and you know, so much violence to the body, but internally Chaitanya Mahaprabhu was in at Govardhana in a mañjarī form and was asked to pick some flowers and then He had an opportunity to see Radha and Krishna’s pastimes and serve Them, and then His followers brought Him back. So, He is. . . Why did you do that? I had a chance to see Krishna’s pastimes but I could not see them because you all brought Me back here. 

TEXT 112

Saying this, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu began to weep. When all the Vaiṣṇavas saw the Lord’s condition, they also wept.

TEXT 113

At that time, Paramānanda Purī and Brahmānanda Bhāratī arrived. 

COMMENT

They were on the level of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s spiritual master, so He was very respectful towards them. They were senior sannyasis in Jagannatha Puri. 

TEXT 113 (continued)

Seeing them, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu became somewhat respectful.

TEXT 114

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu returned to complete external consciousness and immediately offered prayers to them.

COMMENT

Because He always followed etiquette. This is one of the principal features of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s behavior and teachings that one should follow Vaishnava etiquette, and we should know what is Vaishnava etiquette so that we can follow it. So, He saw these senior sannyasis have come, so that took Him out of His partial external consciousness and brought Him to full external consciousness, and then He began to offer them prayers.

TEXT 114 (continued)

Then these two elderly gentlemen both embraced the Lord with loving affection.

TEXT 115

Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu said to Purī Gosvāmī and Brahmānanda Bhāratī, “Why have the two of you come so far?”

PURPORT

Purī Gosvāmī replied, “Just to see Your dancing.”

TEXT 116

When He heard this, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu felt somewhat ashamed.

COMMENT

That this is like too much. It is like senior venerable Vaishnava sannyasis of Jagannatha Puri. . . Why have they come so far to see Your dancing? So, He felt very ashamed.

TEXT 116 (continued)

Then He went to bathe in the sea with all the Vaiṣṇavas.

TEXT 117

After bathing in the sea, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu returned to His residence with all the devotees. Then they all lunched on the remnants of food offered to Lord Jagannātha.

TEXT 118

Thus I have described the transcendental ecstatic emotions of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu. Even Lord Brahmā cannot describe their influence.

TEXT 119:

In his book Gaurāṅga-stava-kalpavṛkṣa, Raghunātha dāsa Gosvāmī has very vividly described Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s pastime of running toward the Caṭaka-parvata sand dune.

TEXT 120

samīpe nīlādreś caṭaka-giri-rājasya kalanād

aye goṣṭhe govardhana-giri-patiṁ lokitum itaḥ

vrajann asmīty uktvā pramada iva dhāvann avadhṛto

gaṇaiḥ svair gaurāṅgo hṛdaya udayan māṁ madayati

TRANSLATION

“Near Jagannātha Purī is a great sand dune known as Caṭaka-parvata. Seeing that hill, Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu said, ‘Oh, I shall go to the land of Vraja to see Govardhana Hill!’ Then He began running madly toward it, and all the Vaiṣṇavas ran after Him. This scene awakens in my heart and maddens me.”

PURPORT

This verse is Gaurāṅga-stava-kalpavṛkṣa 8.

COMMENT

So, Chaitanya Mahaprabhu ran madly towards Caṭaka-parvata feeling separation from Radha and Krishna and the gopīs and Vrindavan and Govardhana Hill and that scene awakens in Raghunatha dasa Gosvami’s heart and makes him mad with separation from Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu.

TEXT 121

Who can properly describe all the uncommon pastimes of Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu? They are all simply His play.

TEXT 122

I have briefly described them just to give an indication of His transcendental pastimes. Nevertheless, anyone who hears this will certainly attain the shelter of Lord Kṛṣṇa’s lotus feet.

COMMENT

So, what did I just read? This is very important. It explains the benefit of hearing what I just read.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 00:49:40]

Giriraj Swami: At least, you were in partial external consciousness. Most were in internal consciousness. All right. Yes.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 00:50:08] How to understand how Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu to be in the mood of separation? He was Krishna Himself!

Giriraj Swami: Yes, I will explain that but right now we have one more verse. We have this verse and then one more verse that I want to finish first. All right.

TEXT 122

I have briefly described them. . .

COMMENT

The uncommon pastimes of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. . .

TEXT 122 (continued)

. . . just to give an indication of His transcendental pastimes.

COMMENT

Because he can’t describe them fully. Just to give an indication, he described them. 

TEXT 122 (continued)

Nevertheless, anyone who hears this will certainly attain the shelter of Lord Kṛṣṇa’s lotus feet.

COMMENT

So, what is the benediction that Krishnadasa Kavirāja Gosvami gives to anyone who hears the description of Lord Chaitanya’s uncommon pastimes?

Devotees: [Unintelligible 00:51:38]

Giriraj Swami: He will attain the shelter of Lord Krishna’s lotus feet. yei ihā śune, pāya kṛṣṇera caraṇa.

TEXT 123

śrī-rūpa-raghunātha-pade yāra āśa

caitanya-caritāmṛta kahe kṛṣṇadāsa

TRANSLATION

Praying at the lotus feet of Śrī Rūpa and Śrī Raghunātha, always desiring their mercy, I, Kṛṣṇadāsa, narrate Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, following in their footsteps.

PURPORT

Thus end the Bhaktivedanta purports to Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya-līlā, fourteenth chapter, describing Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s transcendental ecstatic emotions and His mistaking Caṭaka-parvata for Govardhana Hill.

Devotee: How can it be [Unintelligible 00:53:04] 

Giriraj Swami: Yes, it is a very significant point that after Krishna disappeared from the rasa dance, the gopīs sang their songs in separation, and then eventually Krishna came back. And the gopis, although they were happy that Krishna came back, they were unhappy that He had left them. But, they didn’t want to accuse Him directly so very intelligently and very tactfully, they asked Him to explain a subject matter to them. And, so they asked Him about three categories of lovers: those who love others only if others love them. And, Krishna said that they are actually businessmen. They want to quid pro quo, if. . . Actually, there is a Beatles song, “if you love me, I will love you.” Yes, you scratch my back, I will scratch yours. Then, there are those who love others even if the others don’t love them in return. Krishna says they are the best. And, there are two categories – parents—and that is in the pure state of parenthood that they love their children even if their children don’t love them back. They serve their children even if their children don’t give them anything back in return. And, then devotees—they are the best. They are merciful. Like Nityananda Prabhu was merciful to Jagai and Madhai even though they tried to kill him. So, they are. . . Prahlada Maharaja, he prayed for his father even though his father tried to kill him. And, then there are those who. . . So, one is they love others only if others love them. The other is they love others even if the others don’t love them. And, the third is they don’t love others even if others love them. And so, Krishna divides that category into different subcategories. So, one category is a kṛtaghna – ungrateful. And, so the gopīs thought by asking their question that Krishna would be forced to leave Himself to the conclusion that He was ungrateful because they sacrificed everything for Him, and He didn’t reciprocate. And, then even worse there is guru drohi, those who are envious of superiors. And then, anyway. . .

So, then Krishna said that you might think that I was not reciprocating your love for Me but actually I was because your only desire is that your love for Me should increase. And, so by disappearing from your presence, your love for Me increased. Just like a poor man with great difficulty, he earns some money and then, if he loses the money, he will be thinking of it all the time. So, He gave that an example. Now, the fact is that what Krishna said was not true. Means I am not said. . . Yes, it is not true because at the gopīs level of love for Krishna, their love is always expanding naturally. Whether He separates Himself from them or not, their love is always expanding. So, then so anyway but He said, “So don’t think that I wasn’t reciprocating your love. I was always with you even when I left you, and I was watching how your love for Me was increasing by My separation.” And, there is truth to that. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. So, He was saying, “Actually, I was reciprocating, I am not ungrateful.”

But then, He ultimately said, “Actually, it is true, I cannot reciprocate your love because your love is focused exclusively on Me eka-niṣṭha. To meet Me, you left your parents or your husbands, your children. You sacrifice all your relationships for Me because you are focused only on Me eka-niṣṭha. But, I am bahu-niṣṭha. I sneak out at night. I preserve My relationship with My parents and friends. And, I give Myself to everyone, to My parents, to My friends, to My servants, to even to practicing devotees who are just trying to develop their relationship with Me. I spread My love among so many others. And, I don’t give up those relationships for you but you could give up everything for Me. So, I cannot repay you. I cannot repay you. You have defeated Me.” So, when the gopīs heard this, they thought now Krishna has defeated us because we could not admit that He defeated us, but He admitted that we defeated Him so He has defeated us, by admitting His defeat. And, but it is true that Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, I mean Krishna—He admitted He was defeated by them because of their love, the purity of their love, and the exclusive devotion they had for Him. And so, to repay His debt to them and to experience that eka-niṣṭha devotion, He, Krishna came as Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. So, in kṛṣṇa-līlā, everyone knows how the gopīs and the other residents of Vrindavan were crying for Krishna. Actually, He was also crying for that separation, but everyone knows how they were crying in separation for Him. But as Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, the world could see how Krishna, as Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, was crying from separation. So this is. . . but those words that Krishna uttered, “I cannot repay you,” those stayed with the gopīs after Krishna left Vrindavan. Those words sustained them, sustain their lives with His apparent absence.

Maharaja: Chaitanya Mahaprabhu . . .[Unintelligible 01:04:26] – Giriraj express it? 

Giriraj Swami: Yes, so Janak [Unintelligible 01:04:43] Maharaja is saying that okay, we have heard about Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s ecstatic symptoms. So, what about the ecstatic symptoms of Govardhana Hill? And so, the acharyas explain with reference to this verse that. . . because it is mentioned here. . . rāma-kṛṣṇa-caraṇa-sparaśa-pramodaḥ, that he is jubilant by the touch of the lotus feet of Krishna and Balarama. So, how does he show that jubilation, that ecstatic love? So, yes, so they described that the long grasses on Govardhana Hill are his hairs standing up in ecstasy, and the water falls of the Govardhana Hill are his ecstatic crying. And, then there are. . . sometimes it happens that drops of water seep through the stone, and that is his ecstatic perspiration. So, one symptom of ecstasy is like. . . it is in Chaitanya Mahaprabhu also that his body becomes elongated. So, when Govardhana Hill was lifted by Krishna’s lotus hand, it expanded in size to accommodate all the vrajavāsīs, so that was considered an ecstatic symptom that his body elongated.

Maharaja: When He lifted the Govardhana Hill, Krishna saw all the gopīs, gopas [Unintelligible 01:07:19]. . .but Giriraj is lifted by Krishna’s hand. He shivers. . . just like, [Unintelligible 01:07:35] 

Giriraj Swami: Yes, did you, could you all hear? He said that when Krishna lifted Govardhana Hill with His little finger of His left hand, so that caused Govardhana to feel ecstasy, and in that ecstasy He was shivering, He was trembling. But the vrajavāsīs saw that oh, that the hill is shaking and Krishna may drop the hill. So then, they all said, “Oh! We have to help Krishna hold up the hill.” Then, they were all putting up their sticks to keep the hill alive but it was actually Govardhana’s ecstasy that he was trembling. What else? What other jewels will come out of the deep mind of your Krishna consciousness? 

Maharaja: What happens to us when we go to see the Govardhana? What feeling we got? 

Giriraj Swami: Oh, Maharaja is asking what happens when we go to Govardhana Hill? What feeling do we have? Well, of course, different devotees will have different feelings depending on their mood. I mean, you can see what is Chaitanya Mahaprabhu’s feeling. But, I think every devotee who goes feels Govardhana’s presence and mercy, and they feel that. And, it is true that he is in the mood to fulfil all the desires of the devotees, who circumambulate him. And, it is said that as the devotees walk around Govardhana Hill, Govardhana is making note of all their desires. But, of course, we want to desire something that will really be of lasting benefit and truly satisfy us. I guess they feel that shakti. They feel it. What do you feel?

Maharaja: I feel [Unintelligible 01:10:50] 

Giriraj Swami: Oh, I wish we had that microphone but Janak Maharaja says that when he does, when he is on the treadmill, he does Govardhana parikramā in his mind. And, then when he comes to the Bhaktivedanta ashram which is near Daan-Ghati, he comes to the Bhaktivedanta ashram, which was acquired by Tamal Krishna Goswami and me. And, then Keshava Bharati Maharaja and Tamal Krishna Goswami asked him to take charge of it and renovate it which he did very nicely. And so then, on his parikramā on the treadmill, he comes to the Bhaktivedanta ashram, and he does jaya to Srila Prabhupada and his Guru Maharaja Tamal Krishna Goswami and to HH Kesava Bharati dasa Gosvami and to me. And, now his gurudeva’s samadhi is [Unintelligible 01:13:32] to his samadhi. And, that in turn reminds me. . . because he began by saying that his spiritual master and I took him there on parikramā. That is what he remembers about Govardhana Hill.

So, in Srila Prabhupada’s last days with us, he expressed a desire to go to Govardhana Hill, but in that time his health, well I would say, his leading disciples felt that his health would not allow him to make the journey to Govardhana Hill. And, but then after yes. . . so then Prabhupada just stayed at the Krishna-Balarama temple and then he left. But after he left, Tamal Krishna Goswami and the other leading disciples felt that they should take Srila Prabhupada up for a parikramā to Govardhana Hill. So, there was a little brass Prabhupada deity. Prabhupada deities were not common then. And, yes, so we went there and also we didn’t do full parikramā, just a half parikramā. And, I remember we ended up at Radha-kunda and they brought the deity on the sangam, near where they have the govardhana-śilās. And, I, at that moment, I felt clearly that the deity was Prabhupada, there is no difference between that deity and Prabhupada. And, then later, we got that idea to get the palace. It was a palace of the King, and get Prabhupada a permanent place of residence at Govardhana. So yes.

Maharaja: [Unintelligible 01:16:00]

Giriraj Swami: We have to get that microphone. We have it. We need to appoint someone because he said a lot of nice things, but I don’t know how many people could hear it. But, to summarize, Srila Prabhupada expressed his desire to go on parikramā to Govardhana Hill by bullock cart. And the leading disciples felt his body would not withstand it, and he could probably just die on the way. So, Tamal Krishna Goswami said that he brought the biggest govardhana-śilā to Houston so that Prabhupada on the vyāsāsana in Houston could always see the Govardhana Hill. And, then he bought the palace, the King’s palace, on the Govardhana Hill, and the King or maybe his father or grandfather, the King’s lineage was there, they were obviously great devotees of Govardhana Hill. So, they. . . the King’s asana (throne), platform just faces the Govardhana Hill. So, when the King would be so sort of sitting in court, he could see the Govardhana Hill. Now, Prabhupada’s deity is there. So, he is always at Govardhana Hill and he is always having darshan of the Govardhana Hill. All right, so thank you very much.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 01:18:30]

Giriraj Swami: I think I have run out of things. You don’t have to come up with something. Yes. Last last last. Yes. . .

Devotee: Can I ask a question? [Unintelligible 01:18:45]

Giriraj Swami: Yes, because He adopted the mood of Radharani rādhā-bhava-dyuti. Rādhā-bhāva means mood, and dyuti means the complexion. So, He took out Her mood and Her complexion. So, He was Krishna but He wasn’t in the mood of Krishna, He was in the mood of Radharani.

Devotee: So, [Unintelligible 01:19:38]

Giriraj Swami: He came especially to experience that. Sometimes, He was in the mood of Krishna. Sometimes, He was in the mood of a mañjarī, an assistant to Radharani. But, especially, He had to experience Radharani’s mood in separation. So, yes, He was Krishna but He was in Radharani’s mood of separation from Krishna.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 01:20:18]

Giriraj Swami: Yes, I mean a lot of what Chaitanya Mahaprabhu felt internally, that is what Srimati Radharani feels internally, yes. Correct. Thank you. Hare Krishna.

Srila Prabhupada ki jaya! Giri Govardhana ki jaya!

Hare Krishna