Kishori Yatra Tour Group’s Visit

Giriraj Swami: I have been asked to speak about how I met Srila Prabhupada. I will begin the story in college, although I could begin earlier. Maybe I will begin in high school. It is more to the point. So from a young age, I had the idea of doing good for people and in high school, I had the idea that to help people, I should become a doctor. So, I became the president of something like the future doctors association. And I arranged different trips to hospitals and just different places. And then I went to college. And in college, I had one friend but in the end, it turned out that he was, I could see he was really suffering a lot, but not physically. He was suffering whatever, mentally, emotionally. So, then I thought that actually this type of mental pain could be greater than the physical pain even. So, then I became a psychology major. But seeing the, of course I had some very good professors and some very good professors, but still I felt that I needed to have some spiritual, I was looking for perfect happiness actually and I concluded that I could only find that by some spiritual process. And reading various books, I came to the conclusion I needed a guru. I couldn’t just do it on my own.

So, then my focus became to find my Guru. And I met many, in fact the university I attended near Boston invited many Swamis and yogis. So, one of them was a hatha-yogi and he was explaining how by yoga you could command your intestines. I don’t know, but anyway, you could command, what is it, “One colon advance!” and then inside, you go up and “Transverse colon advance!” then it goes across. Then next one down and then ‘Release!’ So I thought, This would be very interesting. But I wasn’t sure that this would satisfy my spiritual requirement. So, then I thought, Well, anyway, let me see, because I really wanted to find my Guru. So, he was based in New York. So, from Boston, he was flying to New York. So I thought, Let me see if I can go in the car with him and they said, “No, his car is full but you can go with some of the disciples.” Okay, so I got in the car with them and the main topic of the conversation was all the food they missed since they joined the ashram. So I thought, This doesn’t seem right, I mean they were just with their guru and all they are talking about is all the food they are missing since they have joined the ashram. But I thought anyway they are just the students, I have just got to see the master. And then at the airport he was sort of typical looking, with long flowing hair and robes and he was very, very warmly and tightly embracing a lady disciple I guess. But I thought, No, he is not my perfect master. 

So, then there was, I went to a Zen master. You have heard of Zen Buddhism? You have, so he had written a book, ‘The Three Pillars of Zen’ and he was certified as an enlightened Zen master by another certified, enlightened Zen master in Japan. So, I went to his ashram. And the students who opened the door, they didn’t seem very happy. They actually seemed quite gross. I thought anyway, they are just the students. We can’t say. So then, there, they eventually took us in a room and we all had to, sit up straight and look at the wall, and meditate on some riddles, some sort of riddle you can say. And we were supposed to be fixed in our meditation on that riddle. And then the master would go around with a stick in his hand. And if he perceived that your mind was wandering, he would hit you on the shoulder with the stick. So, I thought, I don’t know about this. So, then there was a lunch break. So, one of the students was complaining to the master about something and the master said, “Yes I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have lost my temper.” I thought, This doesn’t sound right. But then I had read in the books that an enlightened Zen (Unintelligible) soul appears ordinary, so well, maybe this is part of it. So, I wasn’t too impressed but I didn’t totally reject him. But then a little later he was a guest speaker at another university near Boston, MIT and I went and someone in the audience asked him about Vedanta and he replied, “I have enough trouble keeping up with Zen. Don’t ask me about Vedanta”. So, then I thought, He is not my perfect master.

There is another one who came to my university and one of my professors really liked him. So, anyway he gave a talk. The room was packed. And he was going to be staying on for the afternoon. So, I told my professor that I wanted to meet him and my professor asked, ‘What do you want to meet him about?’. I said well I want to see if he will be my guru. And my professor said, “Oh, he doesn’t accept disciples. He doesn’t even touch money.” I thought, it doesn’t sound right. If he can help people, why for the sake of some show of renunciation should he refuse. I thought he is not my perfect master. There were many. For the sake of time I won’t speak about all of them. But I had come to the point where I basically gave up because I was so disappointed. 

Actually the last place I went was a university in Ohio called Antioch University. And I had heard that there was a psychology professor there who was supposed to be an enlightened soul. So, I drove from Boston and I got there Friday afternoon and with great eagerness I went to the professor’s office and I met his secretary. I said, “I want to meet Professor so-and-so.” She said, “Oh he is out playing golf.” And I was like, “What? He is out playing golf?”. And she said, “That is his Ze.” And, Oh man! It doesn’t sound right. 

Anyway, I had driven all the way so I went to the student union and there they were talking about a SwamI who had recently visited. And the last three syllables of his name were ananda, but I don’t remember the rest of the name. And there is a lot of swamis whose names end in ananda. But I really heard something there that intrigued me. He said that the Guru is in your heart. The Guru is in your heart, sitting on the lotus of your heart and he can speak to you. And that was the first time I heard anything personal from any of these, the swamis or yogis or masters. I just couldn’t get that out of my mind. I was thinking, Wow! That is really amazing! But anyway, I went back. 

So, within my mind, yes, I had gotten this idea that you don’t, it is not like you choose your guru but you find Guru. Your Guru is already there, you just have to find him. And I even had a mental impression of what he looked like. And he didn’t have hair, and all other swamis had long hair. So, I was pretty hopeless. Anyway, one night, I had invited some friends to my apartment. And we were going to have dinner and go to a movie in Harvard Square. In those days they had what they called art films and then they had art houses where you would see the art films. So, we were going to see an art film at Harvard Square. And on campus, there were some posters. Bhagavad-gita As It Is—A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami. And it was that night in the auditorium of the psychology department. But by then, I was so disappointed with so many attempts that I figured it is just going to be another disappointment. So we had had our dinner and we were about to leave. And the image of that poster kept coming in my mind. And I kept getting this impulse, that I have to go to this. 

So I told my friends, I think I want to go to this lecture on campus tonight. And they were, “Oh. What is this?” We are all set, we are going to go to the movies in Harvard Square. So I was the type, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. So, okay, but then again in my heart it was so powerful. It is like, “You must go to this! You must go to this!” So, I said, “We will go to this and then after this we can go to the late show.” And again I sort of tried to go along but then it was  overwhelming. It was like something in my heart was screaming - You must go to this! So, one of the friends, a lady friend, she got really upset. And she said, “Why do you have to be going after all these swamis and yogis all the time? Why can’t you be a normal person?” And she was really upset and she was raising her voice and I raised my voice. And I said, “Okay. This will be the last one I ever go to.” 

So, we went and it was in the, as I mentioned, the auditorium of the psychology department. It turns out one of my professors had invited them. And Srila Prabhupada was on the stage. And there were devotees chanting and dancing in a circle on the stage. And because of all the sort of discussion that went on, we got there during the second kirtan. So we, took our seats. And one by one, the students were getting out of their seats and jumping up on the stage, climbing up on the stage and joining the chanting and dancing on the stage. So, I thought, I would like to do that. But I had these friends on both sides of me, and I thought, if I do that, that will probably be the end of it. I mean it will be beyond what they can tolerate. So, I just stayed in the aisle standing up sort of dancing in-place in the aisle. And then it ended. And then Satsvarupa made an announcement that, “If any devotees are going to, no, if any of the students are driving to Boston or Cambridge, please meet us in the lobby, because we need a ride.” 

So I had a station wagon, which is in modern terms SUV, not exactly. Yes, we still have? Oh, good. So, we were driving to Cambridge, the Harvard Square. So I went out to the lobby and the first devotee I met, first devotee I ever spoke to, whoever spoke to me was Baradraja. And Baradraja, he was so high on Krishna consciousness. It is like he was saying, just out of nowhere he was saying, “You know, in the Bhagavad-gītā, Krishna showed Arjuna His universal form and it was more blazing than thousands of suns. And Arjuna was quaking, shivering, and then he asked to see his four-handed form and then eventually his two-handed form and wow, it is amazing. It is amazing. So, I said, I heard you need a ride and I am driving to Harvard Square, so I can take you. So as I mentioned I had a station wagon so you could fit quite a few people in it. There is the front seat and then I guess the next seat and then there was a back compartment that held a lot of people. So I was in the front with the girl and a lady devotee named Jahnava who might live in Alachua. 

Devotee (1): Yes. She is a friend of our mother. Mother Jahnava?

Giriraj Swami: Yes, it was Jahnava. And meanwhile, my best friend at the time named Gary, he was in the back compartment with Satsvarupa and they were arguing. And Gary was saying, ultimately everything is void. And Satsvarupa was saying there is no void in the creation of God. And I had read things and I guess I was probably a little puffed up. So I turned around. I thought I really had the answer. I turned around and said, “It is not void and it is not not-void, but to give it a name we call it the void.” And that wise pronouncement had no effect whatsoever. They kept arguing as before. I thought alright. So, I really had my questions on my mind. So I started asking Jahnava. “What about Yogananda?” Because I had read his autobiography. “Oh Yogananda, he is just a shopkeeper. Whatever you want, he keeps in stock. You want Shiva, he has Shiva on stock. You want Krishna, he has Krishna on stock, you want yoga…, he is just a shopkeeper. And if you ever go to his ashram there is a shrine to Mahatma Gandhi as a worker for world peace. He wasn’t a worker for world peace. He was working for India’s political independence. He doesn’t even know who Mahatma Gandhi is.” So, wow! It is pretty strong.

So then I asked about Zen. And she said that, “This world is like images on a movie screen and so, if you withdraw your consciousness from the images you will see there is a beam of light. And if you follow that beam of light, it comes to a point. But behind that point, there is a projection, a projector and a person who is operating the projection machine.” I thought, Oh my God! This is the most brilliant explanation I have ever heard. It is the best explanation of Zen and it goes beyond Zen. So I was thinking, Wow! These people are amazing! And I thought she speaks with such knowledge and such conviction but she is just a young girl. I thought that this can’t all be coming from her. This must be coming from her Guru. So, I wanted to meet the Guru. 

So, we got to Harvard Square and I let the devotees out and I suddenly realized I didn’t know how to find them. I didn’t know where the temple was. So, I left the car and got out and I went running after the devotees. And the one I caught up to first, who was the one who was walking the slowest, was named Patita Pavana. And I think he lives in Union City somewhere near San Francisco. So I caught up to him and he was also, I mean they are all so amazing. He said, “You see all these people? They are just like sleepwalkers. They don’t know who they are. They don’t know where they are going. Just like sleepwalk.” So, I said I don’t know, I was just so entranced by them. So we were talking, then suddenly I heard all the loud honking of horns. I realized, “Oh my God I left the car in the roundabout and all the traffic is backed up in there.” So I said, “Quick! I want to come to the temple, give me the address to the temple!” They gave me the address, I got in the car. 

And then the next night I went to the temple. So Srila Prabhupada introduced a devotee, he said, something like, “We are very fortunate to have with us tonight, Sriman Hamsaduta dasa who has come from Montreal.” So he let him speak a little. Then Srila Prabhupada spoke. And because of his accent and also I wasn’t very familiar with the philosophy so I didn’t follow all of it. But at one point he said, “Out of many thousands of men, one will seek perfection.” And I thought, That is me! He is talking about me! And then in the end he asked for questions. So I asked, “There is so many swamis and yogis and masters, and each one says that his method is the best. So how do I know which is the best?” This is really the burning question and Srila Prabhupada answered very intelligently. He said, “What is your goal?” Because I was asking what is the best means. So he was saying, well what is your, what is the end, then you can decide what is the best means to reach the end. So he said, “Do you want to serve God or do you want to become God? Because if you want to become God, it means you are not God now. And how can not-God become God?” He said, “God is God. He is always God. He doesn’t have to become God by yoga or meditation.” And then he said, “Krishna is God. He is always God. He is God when He is in the lap of Mother Yasoda. He is God when He is speaking the Bhagavad-gītā. He is always God. He doesn’t have to become God.” And then he said, “If you want to serve God and you sow the seed of service to God and water it by chanting, God will give you all the fresh air and sunlight and everything that you need for the plant to grow. But if you want to become God, you are only cheating yourself. God is in your heart, He will help you but if you want to become God, you are only cheating yourself. Why should God help the competition?” And then he said, “You can become godly but you cannot become God.”

I have a distinct impression that he was seeing right through me, through the walls of the temple, across the roads, into my apartment, into my bathroom, where on the wall I had written in very ornate colored letters, in my own hand a sign that I had on the wall. And the sign said, ‘YOU ARE GOD.’ It was just to remind me in case I forgot. And I thought, he knows everything. He knows everything about me. Then he said, “So you want to become God or you want to serve God?” So I said, because by then I understood I can’t become God. So I said, “I want to serve God.” But then I knew I couldn’t really cheat him. I knew he knew everything. So I said, “I want to serve God but actually I realized I wanted to become God”. He said, “Yes!” So then I knew I had found my perfect master. And I bowed down. I put my head on the ground in obeisance. And yes, I found my perfect master. 

And then I tapped my head down for a long time, partly in surrender but also because I felt very embarrassed. I felt that I would look up and everyone would be glaring at me, ”Oh, he wanted to become God. He wanted to become God.” So I kept my head down but then I heard sounds that indicated that they were serving food. So, I thought this might be a good time to get up and so I did. And I looked around and everyone was just smiling and happy. No one was glaring at me or anything, like I was afraid. So then every night, I would come. The program was Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Prabhupada would speak in the temple, in the evening. And Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, he would go out for programs usually, especially Tuesday and Thursday usually, to a university. And then Sunday was the Sunday Feast. So one day, soon after that Srila Prabhupada gave a talk at a university in Boston, might have been Boston College. And the room had students. [Some disturbance in between] 

So at this one program, Srila Prabhupada spoke and then there were questions and answers and then there was kirtan. And the devotees were dancing in a circle. Prabhupada was on a raised platform like a dais. And most of us were chanting in the circle and then there were the students and staff. And as I was dancing in the circle, I felt this overwhelming love for all the people in the room. I just looked at them, I felt so much love. And then that feeling of love, it went beyond the walls of the classroom, throughout the neighborhood all the way to the Pacific Ocean, and then up throughout the universe. I just felt this love and I was so overwhelmed, I had never gone up to Srila Prabhupada before that but I was so overwhelmed I went up to him. And he was sitting and I said, “Swami! Swamiji,” that is what they called back then. I said, “Swamiji! This chanting is wonderful!” And he started to sort of chuckle. He wasn’t making noises. His chest was heaving and he is chuckling. And he looked at me and I knew he wasn’t laughing at me. I knew it was ecstasy. He just looked at me and said, “Thank you very much.” 

So, I mean there are so many wonderful incidents but maybe we will stop here. And one thing I could add as a comment is that, those of you who are associated with the movement from your birth or from an early age, might not know what some of us had to go through to find Srila Prabhupada, to get to Srila Prabhupada. And there is one devotee in London. His name is Ramanuja and he has a son named Varun who is now engaged to Vani. Yes, and it was the same thing with Ramanuja. I mean he really went through hell to get to Srila Prabhupada and ISKCON. And he was telling his son Varun, it is like, you don’t know what we had to go through to reach this, don’t take it for granted. 

So yes. Questions? Sure. Any questions? Comments? Yes. 

Devotee (2): [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: Well that night, the first night in the temple I surrendered. Yes, I mean I didn’t know about exactly what the process was but I surrendered. I accepted him as my perfect master, who I was searching for. And then yes, after, maybe after ten weeks, they decided they needed another pujari. In those days, you could worship the deity if you had only first initiation. So, Satsvarupa said, “You have been following and we could use another pujari.” So yes. I was initiated by mail. Srila Prabhupada was in Los Angeles and I was in Boston. That was also very interesting because we were chanting, actually outside a subway station in Boston. And suddenly I felt, I don’t know, this overwhelming feeling, like, I am not the body. Just so clear, like, I am not the body. And just some sort of relief, ecstasy. And then just a couple of days later the letter came, “I accept you as my disciple. Your name is Giriraj which is a name for Govardhana Hill.” And my family name was Teton, my last name. And there are mountains called the Teton mountains. And as far as we knew, we were the only Tetons in America or in the world. And we were, very proud of the Teton mountains. And so I read this letter - your name is Giriraj. Giriraj is the name of the Govardhana mountain. I thought Wow!. Prabhupada is so perfect, I was attached to my mountain name, he gave me a better mountain name. 

Devotee (3): Did any of your friends from college join with you?

Giriraj Swami: Did any of my friends from my college join with me? No. I mean, I was actually quite surprised because we were all searching together. And I thought well this is it. This is it, we found it, this is everything we have been looking for. I thought they would all see it the same way, but they didn’t. And I had a cousin, he was eight months younger than me. We were not just cousins but we lived in nearby suburbs and we were really close. I thought, “Oh Wow! I have to tell him about this.” He was studying at Harvard. So I invited him to the Sunday feast. And then I was, “Oh this is it, once he experiences this!” “Oh this is so sweet! How can you eat it?” It is like, I don’t know I wasn’t that fortunate or whatever. There was one girl, I thought she could join. She was a classmate at Brandeis. She liked it. She was feeling, but she is just weak. When the end of the year came and it is time to go home, she just went.

Devotee (4): [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: What did my college friends do? They did what they always did. They speculated. I mean later, years later, I came in touch with some of them. One of them actually came to visit me in Juhu. That was sort of a treat. And none of them became devotees but some appreciated what I had done. 

Devotee (5): Maharaja, you have a lot of personal association with Srila Prabhupada in Juhu, in Bombay and a lot of that time period. Did you find that some people found that Srila Prabhupada scolded them a lot? Sankha Prabhu in Alachua, he is always telling us stories where he just got scolded and others found that Srila Prabhupada was very delicate with them. [Unintelligible] that I couldn’t really handle much and Prabhupada kind of knew it. So just so you had a lot of personal interaction, how did you find him and how did he treat you or what was your sense?

Giriraj Swami: My experience of Srila Prabhupada was that he could be soft as a rose and hard as a thunderbolt. I did experience both. But he was always philosophical. Once, he sent this very heavy letter. It was soon after he put me in charge of Juhu. And then he had left and there was some, well without going into the details, but he wrote what I took to be a very heavy letter and in one sense, ‘This is the most abominable affair’ and it was like he had to deal with what seemed to be neglect of the deities and I mean, yes, my head was reeling and I was just trying to summon all my energy and control my mind with my intelligence to not be discouraged. So I wrote him, and he wrote back, something like, “It is the duty of the spiritual master to find fault with the disciples. Not that he should always be praising them.” And my only interest is that you along with all my other students should become Krishna conscious. So if you find some criticism, kindly take it in that spirit.” So, he was hard like a thunderbolt sometimes but he also, sort of, you could say, softened the blow by putting it in perspective of why he was being hard like a thunderbolt. 

And another time it was face to face. I had made a mistake and so he was correcting me. And then he could see I was becoming very sort of forlorn, and then he was saying, “I don’t want you to lament but I just want you to understand the point.” He just really, he was training us. Yes.

Devotee (6): At night when the girls go to sleep, they read [Unintelligible] and a few nights ago we read the part where Srila Prabhupada is celebrating when Mr Nair passed away. I think the girls were a little surprised and amused by it. I was wondering if you could just give a brief overview of why that was such a celebratory event.

Giriraj Swami: Well that is a very good book to read, I must say. I was before that, just before coming back here. After the Saturday Retreat, I was in the Washington DC area for two weeks and as part of the morning program where I was staying, they read that book every morning. And yes Mr. Nair, he was a big demon. Once I gave a class in Los Angeles about the demons involved with Juhu and how they were all punished by Krishna. And afterwards, Virabahu Prabhu came up to me and he said, “I never like it when devotees use the word demon and when you began using the word demon, I also didn’t like it. But after hearing the whole history I agree, he was a demon.” Yes, he was a very. . .and he, I mean, it is a whole story but he was like, if we could have, we would have. . . He was just a demon. And he was causing so much trouble to the devotees, harassing the devotees. What it was is he owned the land in Juhu. And he entered an agreement to sell it to Srila Prabhupada but he was actually a cheater and his whole plan was to take money from Prabhupada and keep the land and drive us off. So he was ready to do anything. 

Things were sort of cordial up until, I mean superficially, do you know what superficial means? On the surface. Superficially they were cordial but underneath he was a demon. But in his last meeting with Srila Prabhupada, all the superficial cordiality went away. He was so offensive and Prabhupada, he motioned for all the disciples to leave the room. And it was just Srila Prabhupada and Mr. Nair and I think one of our life member friends who had brought Mr. Nair. And we could hear the shouting from outside the room. And then we asked what happened. Mr. Nair had said, “You people are creating such a disturbance there. You should just leave.” And Prabhupada said, “Alright then, give us our money back. Give us our money back and we will leave immediately. But that you can’t do”. And then he said, “Do you think you are the proprietors of that land!” Prabhupada said, “I don’t think I am the proprietor. Krishna is the proprietor. You are not the proprietor. I am not the proprietor. Krishna is the proprietor”. He is standing right there and then he said, “I am going to break your Krishna!” Something like Hiranyakasipu. Just like Hiranyakasipu. He stormed out of the room. 

So he was a demon and maybe two months later, he died suddenly, unexpectedly. And so yes, then when Prabhupada got the message, he thanked Krishna. And we didn’t know that he died until, I mean I didn’t know until I was walking on one of the sidewalks in downtown Bombay. And there is, at least then they would have these vendors sitting on the sidewalk and they would have newspapers and magazines spread out and I was walking. I said my eyes just fell on this headline - ‘A.B. Nair is dead’, with a picture of A.B. Nair right on the front cover. And I was so happy. I really felt like dancing right there on the street. But then I would say, is this proper? We are supposed to be saintly persons or trying to become saintly, is this proper? I really wasn’t sure. And then a few days later, one of our good devotee families, who is supporting us, got a letter from Srila Prabhupada that, “I received one telephonic message through Srutakirti, that the demon Nair is dead. And if this is true, this is very good news.” And then he quoted from Prahlada Maharaja that even saintly persons, sadhus, even saintly persons take pleasure when a snake or a scorpion is killed. So then I thought, well then it is alright. I mean that is Prahlada. Who could be more saintly than Prahlada! I think that answers the question. 

Yes I was just thinking about adding one thing though, because then afterwards the devotees asked Srila Prabhupada about Nair’s whereabouts. I think they were thinking or hoping he would be burning in a special hell or something. And as I recall Prabhupada said that he would have taken birth as a human being. Because even though his intentions were bad, but somehow or other he did service. 

Devotee (7): [Unintelligible] favorite moment. . .

Giriraj Swami: Favorite moment, favorite memory being in the movement or with Srila Prabhupada? Well there is many. Hearing the song about Prabhupada crossing the Atlantic is definitely one of them. I don’t know, I mean Krishna consciousness is very dynamic. There is so many. I wouldn’t say it was my favorite memory but it is a nice one. It does show something. So anyway, when I was in Calcutta in 1971, my parents came. And really they wanted to take me back. And so, they came to Srila Prabhupada in the Calcutta temple and everyone was still there. And Prabhupada dealt very expertly but finally it came to the point where, they wanted to take me back and also I was sort of thin, and maybe a little sickly. And so my mother was very. . . she was concerned about my health. So Srila Prabhupada always used to keep a bowl or a jar of sweets on his desk. And especially being Calcutta, he had sandeśa. You know what sandeśa is? And his sister was there, Pishima. So he had Pishima, distribute the sandeśa to my parents’ hands, my mother’s hand. And then he said that this is made from cheese. It is full of protein. Because in those days people thought if you didn’t eat meat, you couldn’t get enough protein in your diet. So this is made with cheese, it is full of protein. And then he turned to me and said, “You must eat two dozen rasagullā and sandeśa every day.” 

Devotee (7): Have you kept it up?

Giriraj Swami: I am working at it, I do. I do my best. So then, my mother started to cry. She was seeing the direction it was going in. And then Srila Prabhupada said, “Let him be with me for six months,” as I think it was October. “Let him be with me for six months and when I go to America, I will bring him with me.” So I said, “Just see how intelligent Srila Prabhupada is, that, when it is winter and it is pleasant in India, he is in India. And then in the summer, when it is pleasant in America, he goes to America.” And by this point, my father was actually getting very enlivened by Srila Prabhupada. So then my father said, “Actually your master is very intelligent.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “Your son is intelligent because he has understood my strategy.” And my father said, “No actually you are very intelligent.” And then Srila Prabhupada said, “Well I guess I must be, otherwise how could I attract so many intelligent men and women like your son?” 

So after that, not immediately, but I went to Madras. I was the first ISKCON devotee to go. And they were feeding me very well there. Like idlis, chutney, sambhar. We didn’t have a temple. I was staying in different people’s homes. So I put on weight. And so then I arranged a program. Srila Prabhupada came. Very nice program, successful program. And he saw that I had gained weight. He said, “You should take a picture of yourself and send it to your mother.” And then he got that. Yes?

Devotee (7): I wanted to ask, you have been a devotee a really long time and lots of things have happened in our movement and we have grown and are developing and all these young Vaishnavas are growing up now. And I am just wondering what keeps you still inspired and motivated? What are the things that you hold to?

Giriraj Swami: Oh Prabhupada definitely! Well two things. Thinking of what he did for me and thinking of the prospect of being with him again. I know what to do, to be with him again, I have to do certain things while I am still here. So that, it is an impetus to do those things and I have a sense of what those things are. And also just seeing how people become happy when they really take to Krishna consciousness and they get just relieved of so many things, I mean, they may have reversals in life. I mean, that happens anyway. I mean, you can’t stop that. But with Krishna consciousness they are able to take those things in a much better way. So many devotees have said that, they don’t say, “Oh I came to Krishna consciousness then this happened.” Because it always happens. Inside or outside both. But they say, “If I didn’t have this philosophy, if I didn’t have this knowledge, if I didn’t have this process, I don’t know what I would have done. It has saved me.” Yes? 

Devotee (8): Along the same question, a lot of. . . I didn’t get a chance to meet Srila Prabhupada in person. But somehow we feel his presence so strongly in our lives. How can we find our service to him? How can we help them find a way to repay him for giving us the best gift?

Giriraj Swami: Yes I see a lot of bright futures here. Sort of a mystery how you sort of find your calling. But yes. Maybe you ask [devotee’s name…]. How did you find your calling?

Devotee (9): I was a teacher. I decided, I actually didn’t want to go to school at all. I hated school. Once I got older, I was sixteen. I am done, let us finish it. But everyone encouraged me to keep going so I chose teaching as a career and I was very lucky in my life that I am a disciple of Sivarama Swami and my mother is also. So my whole life I had him as a very strong presence in my life. And he really, if you know him, he gives you no option but to anchor down and just try to stay on the straight and narrow. So I was very lucky to have him guiding me. I was teaching and just something felt not quite fulfilled and then in my alma mater and we just took off and we started doing kirtan full-time as a service. We threw caution to the wind, gave it all up and now we are finding the medium ground. we are settling down and finding a, more of a balance so we are not just living out of suitcases. we are going to have a home and trying to a grounded service in Alachua. But for me, my Guru was the one who really helped me. I went to him with every question. “Can I be a teacher?” “Yes be a teacher. Teach in Gurukuls.” “Okay can I give up everything and do kirtan?”. “Yes give it all while you have it, while you have the energy, just go out and preach as much as you can.” And so whatever, “Can I buy a house?” “Sure! Just don’t get eaten by an alligator in Florida.” So for me, he is really given me a lot of shelter and instruction and if I come to him with a desire to do something like I like teaching, I like kirtan, I like Alachua, he is just very supportive and gives that advice. As long as you stay Krishna conscious and just keep trying. And he also gave me an instruction. I asked him, “What do you want me to do? How can I serve you best?” And he usually says to do books, learn an instrument, become good at this, become good at that, and he said, “I want you to have a strong marriage, Krishna conscious children, and be an example”. And I was like, that is the hardest instruction ever. Thank you so I guess. In forty years, we will see how that goes. I will let you know how it turns out.

Devotee (10) (Manorama Prabhu): [Unintelligible]

Giriraj Swami: Well what Monaram Prabhu said is something that Srila Prabhupada has said repeatedly. I know Satsvarupa Maharaja told me that he asked Srila Prabhupada that, “Now you are here so we can go to you with all our questions. But what about when you are not here?” And Srila Prabhupada said, “The holy name of Krishna and Krishna are the same. Do you realize this fact?” So that is true. Since then, I mean I have heard that early on from Satsvarupa Maharaja but since then I have come across the same principle. But I would say that is true but Krishna can also reveal His plan to us or His will for us in Prabhupada’s books, in the association of devotees, discussing with mature devotees, well-wishing devotees. It is true about the holy name. You might even reveal it in a bite of a rasagullā. You never know. I was thinking the other thing seemed a little bit remote.

Devotee (11): We have all the girls set personal goals and spiritual goals for the tour that they can complete in a reasonable, a smart goal. And she just asked if eating twenty-four milk sweets a day could be her goal. If you are making up for everybody 

Giriraj Swami: Well this is Shraddhanjali. She frequently attends Vaishnava retreats. So maybe she could share something with our group. 

Shraddhanjali: Hare Krishna. I am only three years old. I have only been initiated for three years, but I have been with the movement for a really long time. So sometimes your path can not take the normal conforming. Everybody does it that way. I think sometimes, life, you have to let it unfold organically and with a sincere heart really long to be in the association of devotees. I only met the devotees in 1989 which it is a really long time ago, ancient history. But that was something that I always longed for and I would read the books and I would read about like, you have to have a Guru. You have to live a certain way. But I had come to it as a grown-up. I mean I stand in awe of all the devotees who instantly surrender and it took me a long time. But Krishna is very kind and I knew that it was really a saving way to be. So, I have a really illustrious relative. But we live in the middle of Iowa and there is no temple. So we are just by ourselves. That was in the days before computers and the live streaming of Mayapur.tv. And so I was reading Srila Prabhupada’s books and taking every chance I could to associate with devotees and especially the Vaishnavas who I really learned from. So, I have a chronic pain condition. So I feel pain every day. So I know that without Krishna Consciousness, I wouldn’t be able to understand it or see it as mercy. I don’t know really where I am going with this except that the one thing I knew was that I always longed to be with other devotees. And I think sometimes the longing in your heart is a better guide than even your outward circumstances. If it is hard for you, if you don’t want to do stuff but to really try to keep that goal, that longing in your heart. So that was particularly my path and then Krishna rewards you amazingly. I look at my beautiful spiritual master and all the association. I am here today which is amazing in your presence. And really just to see every devotee is like, just you are a real lifesaver. that is my [..] Thank you. I am really happy here. It is a little chilly. And as a mother I think I am feeling everybody should get warmer.

Devotee (12): I was asking if Giriraj Swami could say a few concluding words to all of you about Srila Prabhupada’s mood that the children of the future hope. And in one sense, all of you will grow up and our generation and the older generation will be handing over the baton to you at some point whether Sama becomes the next bus driver for Kishori Yatra or in so many other ways you will be taking up the missionary work of Krishna consciousness in the near future. So how to encourage you to do that and boldly go where no one has gone before and preach Krishna consciousness.

Giriraj Swami: That was very inspiring. But that is true. I mean, one little anecdote, very little. That Srila Prabhupada was sitting in his garden in Los Angeles and I had been in India but I got sick and eventually Srila Prabhupada said that as long as I stay in Bombay, I won’t be able to recover. So, I should go. There was also something, there is a theme emerging here because Tamal Krishna Goswami was the GBC for India and, when I was getting ready to leave and Tamal Krishna Gosvami was in the room, Srila Prabhupada said you go to LA and Karandhara will give you sandeśa and rasagullā which he couldn’t do [Laughter]. Something like that. So when I got to LA, I was, yes, it was a big thing. I hadn’t been to America for years and it was such a big temple and big community. So Srila Prabhupada asked, in his garden he asked, “How many devotees are there here?” And I was very inquisitive. So I said, “Including the children or not including the children?” He said, “The children also count!” And in Juhu, he really was very serious about the children. But one thing he said that was very interesting was that, he gave the example of his sister and himself that they used to fly kites. And she would always pray, “Oh Govinda! Make my kite fly.” And Srila Prabhupada said that the children should be trained in such a nice way that no matter what they do in life, they will always remember Krishna. There he is given that example of the kite fight. And he was really, it is very very important. The thing about example is really important because yes, even now you are examples. And I think it is very inspiring, very inspiring.

I know in Dallas, Gandharvika, she greets people, she gives them tours, she preaches. It is not just in the future. No it could be right now. I mean apart from our wonderful singing, but really preach. Yes.

Especially Kishori’s. Yes, I mean what I am thinking now is how Srila Prabhupada said 90 percent of Krishna consciousness is association. I think that is the main thing to stay in good association. Then I think it is quite natural, people develop well and in that same association, become leaders in your office. You can try to experiment going away from the association of devotees. But it is, usually the results are not very good and then you may have to really struggle, get down on your hands and knees and crawl back and beg to be readmitted. So, I wouldn’t suggest that. 

Devotee (13): So maybe we could see the deities and do a short kirtan for them?

Giriraj Swami: Yes. Perfect, perfect.

Devotee (13): They would love to do that.

Giriraj Swami: Good. Perfect. Thank you