Talk on Sridhar Swami’s Disappearance Day

Giriraj Swami: Hare Krishna.

Devotees: Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: So, this is a wonderful assembly of Vaishnavas under the shelter of Sri Pancha-tattva, Srila Prabhupada, and the paramparā. And it was actually after one of these festivals in 2004, in those days Indradyumna Swami used to come down, and we were just getting in our car to leave and I got a phone call from Mayapur dasa from Mayapur dhāma, and he told me that Sridhar Swami had left, and so Indradyumna Swami and I decided we would stay on and then the next day, Sunday, we would have a nice memorial program for Maharaja.

One of our godbrothers has commented that Sridhar Maharaja and some other devotees, our testimony to the fact that one can come from any background, rough background, and by surrendering to Prabhupada and Chaitanya Mahaprabhu in the process of Krishna consciousness one can become very exalted. And I didn’t know that much about Sridhar Maharaja’s background until I was on a flight from California to Texas and a man came up to me seeing how I was dressed and said, “Are you a Hare Krishna?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Well, do you know John Colcleugh?” Which was Sridhar Swami’s name. I guess he was more familiar with that name. And I said, “Yes, Sridhar Swami, he was a good friend of mine.” And then he told me about Sridhar Swami’s background, that in their youth, on the weekends they would get drunk, and then they would go out and look for a fights. That was their. . .

Devotee: Pastime.

Giriraj Swami: Yes, pastime, that was their pastime on weekends.

So, this is just to give a little background to when Sridhar Swami first met the devotees in Berkeley. And there was a devotee, of course, Prabhupada’s disciple back then, who had a table with books and incense and posters. And so Sridhar Swami saw a picture maybe of Vishnu or Krishna and he asked the devotee, “Who is this?” And the devotee said, “This is God.” And Sridhar Swami, he had quite a hefty build, had little long hair in back then, he said, “Well, what would you do if I tore up this picture of God?” And the devotee said, “I think I would have to kill you.” And Sridhar Swami was so impressed, “Ok, these are my kind of people. I can fit in with them.”

So yes, he became a devotee, and my association with him was in India, in Bombay, and he remained connected to Bombay until the end really. He would always come there and spend some time and preach. So, I think I will move ahead towards the end because his consciousness at the end was so Krishna conscious that he was completely unafraid of death, and he was always jolly. We had two very prominent life members in Bombay who used to come on the weekends and they gave Maharaja the nickname the Jolly Swami, and he really was jolly. And his brother, when Maharaja’s brother actually wrote an article called The Jolly Swami and was published in a major journal in Vancouver. 

So he was sick from maybe around 2000. I think it was cirrhosis of the liver and then he was diagnosed with cancer. And one day, he was quite something, so we were both in Vrindavan and we decided to do Govardhana parikramā together, and all the while I was getting pretty sick I thought, I don’t want to disappoint Maharaja, so I was forcing myself. And Maharaja was feeling sick and he was thinking, I don’t want to disappoint Giriraj Swami, so he kept pushing on. And then pretty soon after that we were both in the hospital for treatment. He was for his liver problem and I had a heart condition. 

So, when he was in the hospital in Bombay, Tamal Krishna Goswami, I think it was Keshava Bharati Maharaja, may be Giridhari Swami, they came down to see him. And having cirrhosis of the liver and cancer he was a terminal patient, and he was very gratified that they had come down to see him especially all the way from Vrindavan. And they advised him that, “Now you should just go to Vrindavan and chant and hear.” As much as he appreciated their visit and respected them as senior godbrothers, he thought about it and he concluded, “That is not me, I want to continue, I want to live the way I am.” And so he kept travelling and preaching, practically to the very end.

So, there is one incident, he went to England and as Tukaram Prabhu said he had three desires. The first desire was to make it to Mayapur, his second desire was to see the installation of the Pancha-tattva, and his third desire was to make it until Gaura-purnima. Then he said, “And then whatever,” meaning after that whatever Krishna wants, He can do. So, Indradyumna Swami met Maharaja in London, to accompany him to India. And so devotees understanding that Maharaja was going to be leaving, they came from different places, Croatia, different places where Maharaja had disciples, to see him. And some of them didn’t have second initiation, and Maharaja was very ill, very sick. So he said, “Okay, I will give them second but all at one time.” So, he said one or two words of first line of the Gayatri and then he couldn’t remember. He asked Indradyumna Swami. And Indradyumna Swami gave a couple of words. But Indradyumna Swami himself was exhausted from travelling and jetlag, so he also could not remember.

So Sridhar Swami said, “Is there any brahman here who know the words?” You will supply the words and then Sridhar Swami will repeat the words. And then afterward Sridhar Swami began telling all these verses about the importance of the holy name, and Indradyumna Swami was astonished. “Maharaja, you couldn’t even remember the words of the Gayatri mantra but now you are rattling off all these verses from the Bhāgavatam about the holy name.” And Sridhar Swami said, “Yes, the holy name is really all we need, the Gayatri mantra can help us to be purified for chanting the holy name but the holy name is really what we need, and all we need.”

So then Maharaja came to Mayapur and he was received at the airport by Jaya Pataka Swami’s vehicle which had like a bed facility, like a bed. They brought him to Mayapur and he received a real hero’s welcome as he should have. And he made it to Mayapur and he made it to the Pancha-tattva’s installation. And out of respect for him and his condition, they offered, “You can bathe whichever deity you want.” They thought he might want Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. He said, “No, I will take Nityananda Prabhu.” And he did that, and then the next real auspicious day after Gaura-purnima was Srivasa Thakura’s disappearance day, and he left on that day.

So, I am going to read a little about some interactions with Maharaja. I could tell it, but there will be more detail, and I think it is worth catching all those details because it shows his Krishna consciousness, it shows his humility, also it shows his affection for his godbrothers which I think is very instructive. Well, this is bookmarked, I didn’t tell it but I will tell it. So, after being very sick he decided he wanted to come to America and to see me which, from a medical point of view might have been questionable but I took it he was just very kind and loving and merciful, he wanted to come, and he did. He was very sick, and on top of it he got flu on the way to Hong Kong. So one evening there was a preaching program, and I didn’t know if I should go but he said, “You go ahead.” So his servant Mayapur dasa and one devotee named Kunti, they stayed behind to see if he needed anything.

So sometimes Maharaja would, I guess you could say, take liberties with his diet. And that was one of the times when I was away, and so he wanted a veggie burger and chips or French chips. So I guess Kunti reluctantly prepared it and Mayapur reluctantly served it. And he was in very jolly mood. And the next morning, he didn’t get up. He is sick and he might have got tired, but still didn’t get up. So then it turned out he had gone into a coma which is related to his liver condition that the toxins will go to the brain and go into coma. He come out of it, there is process to come out of it. So we took him to the hospital and even on the hospital he was so good at heart, he just wanted everyone to chant. He wasn’t totally lucid in the normal sense of the term but he just wanted everyone to chant; the doctors, the nurses, the sisters, custodial staff, everyone. And then after that he would say, “I want to come back to Carpentaria and have some more of Kunti’s coma burgers.”

So because Maharaja’s diseased liver wasn’t processing different materials in the body, his body would fill with liquid and become bloated. And this might sound sort of gruesome, it really just shows how a devotee can be transcendental. Like Vaisesika Maharaja said, at one time or another we find ourselves with an alligator on our leg, and then what would you do? Take shelter. So, they would remove five to seven liters of liquid from him at a time. Anyway, after the installation of the Pancha-tattva, he had a physical setback, maybe because of the exertion and excitement in the ceremony. The situation looked grave, and in the evening he asked for devotees to come and do kirtan in his room. He didn’t know what would happen, and it looked like he was going to leave. As Maharaja lay silently on his bed, they performed kirtan, most of them crying, seeing that the end was near. Somehow a devotee managed to call a doctor, who entered the room and came to Maharaja’s bedside. And the doctor very. . . Maharaja was all bloated and the doctor started feeling around his abdomen, Maharaja was lying there with his eyes closed. As the doctor was feeling around, Maharaja opened his eyes and looked at the doctor and said, “It is a boy.” [laughter]

A few days before Gaura-purnima, Indradyumna Swami came to say farewell to Maharaja. At Maharaja’s room, he met Mayapur dasa, who told him, “Sridhar Swami is in the shower.” From inside, Sridhar Swami overheard the talk and shouted out, “Indi, is that you, Indi?” He used to call Indradyumna Swami Indi, short for Indiana Jones because Indradyumna Maharaja is such an adventurous preacher. Later Indradyumna Swami remarked what a wonderful experience it was, when someone really loves you and is proud of you, he shows you off to his friends. So in this way, Sridhar Maharaja would show off Indradyumna Swami to people who came to visit him. He would say, “This is our Indiana Jones, but he is the real thing, this one is the real thing.” So, Sridhar Maharaja called out, “Indi! Is that you out there?” “Yes, Maharaja.” “Come on in!” “But Maharaja, you are in the shower.” “So what? Come on in.” He went in, and there was Maharaja with nothing to cover him but the air and the water from the shower. Sridhar Maharaja said, “Don’t worry. We are not these bodies.” Indradyumna Swami was choked up, because he was feeling he would never see Maharaja again. This was it, saying goodbye. So he said, “Maharaja, I have come to say goodbye.” Maharaja said, “Don’t say goodbye.” Indradyumna Swami replied, “I may never see you again in this life.” Sridhar Swami responded, “Don’t you know that old song?” And he sang, “Happy trails to you, until we meet again.” 

And this maybe requires a little cultural explanation. This was I guess the theme song of The Roy Rogers Show, Roy Rogers was a cowboy, it was an old show from the 50s that we used see it when we were at that age. And so the show would end, “Happy trails to you, until we meet again.” And that was it. And that was a good conclusion, especially for Indradyumna Swami.

From article: Happy Trails, because his trails take him all over the world. Yet all of us, in our own ways, have our own trails and paths in devotional service, and Sridhar Swami wishes that they be happy until we meet again.

So, it was a coincidence perhaps that His Holiness Niranjana Swami wanted to send me a picture of Sridhar Maharaja just three days ago. And he sent me an email saying that he meditates on Sridhar Maharaja a lot, and he misses him. So, I wrote back thanking him for the picture, he wanted to know to what size I would like so it fit. And I asked him, “What is it about Sridhar Maharaja that you meditate on?” 

And he wrote back such a yes, this is very peculiar. I guess I left my cell phone somewhere. I don’t think I would have. . . 

[Kirtan started]

He wrote back a beautiful message and I will paraphrase it, he said, he thinks about. . .

Oh, it has come. When we surrender, Krishna reciprocates.

“Regarding my meditation for now because I really don’t have that much time at the moment. I honestly can’t fully explain it, he became so unbelievably dear to me in Mayapur, the way he loved his godbrothers, the way he loved me. One of my often remembered meditation on him is the time I sent message to him one evening after the GBC meeting finished for the day. I was usually in his room chanting with him and the devotees after the meetings. On this particular night, I had a terrible headache and sent message to him apologizing for not coming that evening due to the headache. While walking back to my room I began to think, Here I am not going to a nice kirtan because of some headache, and there is Sridhar Maharaja lying in his bed having kirtan with the devotees and his condition cannot even closely be compared to my little headache. I decided to turn around and go back. When I arrived in his room, his room was packed with devotees as usual, chanting. Sridhar Maharaja looked up at me, sat up in bed, and gestured to come through the crowd of devotees to come sit next to him on the bed. The devotees parted to allow me to go through. I sat on the bed, he turned to his servant Mayapur and said, “Bring me the tiger balm.” B-A-L-M. At which time he sat there using the tiger balm to massage my head. I can’t remember exactly how long he massaged but it wasn’t just a gesture, he massaged vigorously for quite some time. I cry every time I think about this as I am crying right now as I am typing this. Practically speaking, I cry every time I think about Sridhar Maharaja or talk about him. To me, he seemed selflessly a friend to me, and I felt so undeserved. Thank you for asking.”

So, these Vaishnavas are extraordinary souls. Even in this room there are so many. So we should recognize their value while they are with us and take advantage of their association. And one thing that was very important to His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja, which I think he would want me to mention, is the Mayapur Project, TOVP. And here we also have Pancha-tattva, there we also have Pancha-tattva. And yes that was really a very odd desire of his. He had great faith in Ambarish Prabhu. He thought he was the proper person to head the project and definitely the project is progressing. But as we heard in that beautiful song Vaisesika Prabhu sang about asking the Lord to take up residence in the temple of our hearts. So yes, I pray that, Srila Prabhupada will be kind enough to do so and along with him all of his wonderful devotees like His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja, and of course, with him will be his merciful Lord, the spiritual master, the paramparā, and the Pancha-tattva, and all the way back to Krishna.

And so yes, I also feel extremely blessed to be here with all of you on this occasion, to chant and really remember with all of you. And I really do feel that His Holiness Sridhar Swami Maharaja is pleased upon all of us gathered here today, and he is there to shower mercy and love upon us.

Thank you very much.

Devotees: Haribol!! Haribol!!

Giriraj Swami: HH Sridhar Swami Maharaja ki jaya!

Gaura-bhakta-vrinda ki jaya!

Gaura-premānande Haribol!!

Hare Krishna.