Nrsimha-caturdasi

Giriraj Swami:

. . . very short but beautiful explanation given by Lord Nṛsiṁhadeva to Prahlada Maharaja. This is from the scripture called Hari-bhakti-sudhodaya and it is quoted in Srila Sanatana Gosvami’s commentary to his own book Bṛhad-Bhāgavatāmṛta. So this is what Nṛsiṁhadeva says to Prahlada:

“When a devotee looks at Me without hesitation and speaks to Me affectionately, My pleasure grows with every new moment. 

“Although I am eternally free from all limitations, such behavior binds Me with ropes of love. Although I am unconquerable, My devotees can conquer Me.

“And although I am subject to no one’s control, I become their subordinate subject. I belong only to him who has shown his love for Me by giving up all affection for family and possessions, and such a devotee also belongs to Me.

“Neither he nor I has any other true friend. My desires are always automatically fulfilled, but I take various births in this world just to bestow on My devotees the satisfaction of all their desires.”

Sarvatma dasa: I have a question. Why does He say, “Without hesitation”? What type of hesitation would that be?

Giriraj Swami: When Nṛsiṁhadeva killed Hiraṇyakaśipu, all the demigods and others were afraid to approach Him because He was in such an angry mood, and only Prahlada approached Him without hesitation. So, in the same vain, it could be that it could be a fearsome appearance, so if one approached Him without hesitation and. . . 

Sarvatma dasa: Without fear.

Giriraj Swami: Yes. He ripped Hiraṇyakaśipu’s innards out of his body and He put them around His neck like a garland.

Sarvatma dasa: That may produce some hesitation.

Giriraj Swami: But it is said that the devotees when they see Nṛsiṁhadeva face speckled with drops of blood, they feel the same ecstasy that the gopīs feel when they see Krishna’s face speckled with drops of perspiration and powder raised by the hoof prints of the cows. Beautiful.

I could read a prayer by Bhaktivinoda Thakura, a short one:

“Within my sinful heart perpetually reside the six enemies headed by lust, as well as duplicity, the desire for fame, and sheer cunning. At the lotus feet of Lord Nṛsiṁha, I hope that He will mercifully purify my heart and give me the desire to serve Lord Krishna. Weeping, I will beg at the lotus feet of Lord Nṛsiṁha for the benediction of worshipping Radha and Krishna in Navadvipa, perfectly safe and free from all difficulties. When will this Lord Hari, whose terrible form strikes fear into fear itself, ever become pleased and show me His mercy?” (Sri Navadvipa Bhava Taranga)

He wrote two books about parikramā in Navadvipa and that one has more of his internal moods and prayers.

Have you ever been to India? Have you ever been to Navadvipa? Have you ever been to Nṛsiṁha Pallī? Nṛsiṁha Pallī is a place on the other side of the river from Mayapur where it is said that Lord Nṛsiṁhadeva rested after killing Hiraṇyakaśipu. He rinsed off the blood from His hands in a lake that is still there and there is a temple of Lord Nṛsiṁhadeva right there at that place called Nṛsiṁha Pallī, a very old temple. Of course Lord Nṛsiṁhadeva is everywhere, but I do imagine Bhaktivinoda Thakura praying at the feet of that Deity at Nṛsiṁha Pallī.

Sarvatma dasa: We hear the acharyas, like Bhaktivinoda Thakura, they put themselves in a position of a common living entity in order to encourage the prayer to regular living entities so they don’t develop arrogance and pride, but it is also true that he felt what he wrote, that he had that sentiment.

Giriraj Swami: Yes, he did.

Sarvatma dasa: So he felt like he was controlled by lust and cunning and desire for fame and so on. So, what hope is there for us that. . . is there a moment where one becomes so advanced that this is just like the illusion of lust and cunning and the desire for fame just like that imaginary demons that accost Vrindavan in the spiritual world, that seems they are there, but it is actually there to enhance their pastimes, not that the demons are there? So are we trying to understand that it is a similar situation that there is no such. . . there is the illusion, some kind of yoga-māyā or lesson and so on?

Giriraj Swami: You have probably heard the description of a mahā-bhāgavata that he sees that everyone is serving Krishna except himself. So, if he is not serving Krishna—he is, but in his mind he feels he is not serving Krishna—so why wouldn’t he be. It is because of the presence of these obstacles which are not actually there, but he perceives them as being there. And many times I’ve heard Srila Prabhupada speak about Krishnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami saying, “I am lower than the worm in stool,” and “I am worse than fallen Jagai and Madhai.” Prabhupada always says that he is not saying it artificially, he is not making a show, but he actually feels that way.

As far as what hope do we have, our hope is not. . . there is also the false ego that gets down on us which is of a different quality.

Sarvatma dasa: When I say I feel so fallen, which I actually feel that, but am I being truthful or it is just maya’s maneuver to pacify me so I don’t have to advance? So I made it this far, I am fallen enough, I have realized that so I am good, I am safe.

Giriraj Swami: When someone feels fallen and wants to serve Krishna, then he feels he has to try harder, he has to work harder. But he also understands he can’t be successful on his own strength; he needs mercy. That is a common factor at every stage—not at the very close stage—but he feels he needs mercy.

Do you feel you need mercy?

Sarvatma dasa: Oh yes.

Giriraj Swami: You have made it!

Sarvatma dasa: Once I heard a Vaishnava say that it is very sad if we as Vaishnavas go in front of the Deities and have nothing to pray for. It is a very sad thing.

Giriraj Swami: Well said. 

Devotee: Maharaja, I get the sense that we can appreciate our fallen nature only [?] to only make advancement [?]. There is maya, false ego—whatever you will—always trick us. And that is why I think that souls like Bhaktivinoda Thakura can speak like they speak, such exquisite sentiments that we can’t even begin to approach because they are so advanced that they can see the disparity between where the living conditioned living entities are and how exalted is that goal they are actually seeing it. I am just a conditioned soul; I don’t see that, but I know what you were saying. I need mercy to be able to gain that vision seeing myself in my condition.

Giriraj Swami: Yes. The false ego, when we come into the material world and want to compete with Krishna, the first thing we need is another identity—not servant of Krishna—and so that is the false ego. And then the mind is like the agent of the false ego and that is why the mind is so hard to control because it is like the false ego’s agent to make sure that you don’t surrender.

We really need mercy. We need the association of each other. We really need the association.

Sarvatma dasa: Speaking of mercy, the devotees have been fasting all day and tomorrow is a week day for us who work. I may humbly suggest that we move on to the next portion of the program.

Giriraj Swami: Yes, that is a good idea.