Giriraj Swami’s Appreciation at Tamal Krishna Goswami’s Vyasa-puja

Giriraj Swami: I’ll read something that I wrote in a little different vein and then I’ll tell one or two anecdotes.

Devotee: Thank you.

Giriraj Swami: So, this is what I wrote: Tamal Krishna Goswami has done so much service for Srila Prabhupada, I could speak for hours about it and I know that Prabhupada is pleased and proud of him. Tamal Krishna Goswami has helped me personally in so many ways as well, I could speak for hours about that too. But today I wish to discuss his amazing powerful effect on a devotee who never met him, Madan Mohan Mohini dasi. He manifested himself to her in such a potent and personal way that she has become mad after him and he has empowered her to serve him in manifold ways. She has done much to preserve his legacy and expand his glories but one of the things that has impressed me most is how she acted, especially while she was in Dallas, to reach out to gurudeva’s disciples and encourage them in their relationships with him and with each other. She seemed inspired and empowered by gurudeva to speak to each one in just the right way. And to encourage and engage them in the most appropriate way in gurudeva service, in Krishna consciousness.

From her example we can learn many significant lessons in relation to Srila gurudeva—- he is always present, he can manifest himself powerfully and personally to anyone, even someone who never met him. He can show his kindness, compassion, and care to anyone at any time, and he can empower anyone in his service in wonderful ways. So we should have full faith in him, in his presence, in his potency, and in his personal care.

I feel separation from Srila gurudeva, I miss him dearly. But I take solace and find shelter in the association of those who love and serve him, like all of you, and including those who in this life never met him.

Srila gurudeva ki jaya!

So, now for the anecdotes, there are two from Srila Prabhupada’s time. The first took place in Vrindavan when Srila Prabhupada formed the Bhaktivedanta Swami Charity Trust and he sent me to Mathura to get it registered which was quite an arduous, difficult uncongenial job. And so, I was there until late then I came back, went to Srila Prabhupada’s house in Vrindavan, left the document and went up to my room, a small room in the Krishna-Balarama guesthouse to retire for the evening. After a few minutes, I heard very hard pounding on the door and I thought this could be only one person. So I opened the door and there was Tamal Krishna gurudeva and his first words, I’ll never forget, his first words were, “Boy did you blow it.” And then he went on to say that I had registered the name wrong.

I had made it “Bhaktivedanta Charity Trust” and Srila Prabhupada said, “There can be so many Bhaktivedantas, but I’m Bhaktivedanta Swami, so it has to be Bhaktivedanta Swami Charity Trust.” And he said, “You have to go tomorrow and redo it, properly.”

Now, the reason this incident stands out in my memory is because Tamal Krishna Goswami and I were good friends, and sometimes when we are close with someone we don’t want to speak strongly to them because we don’t want to damage the relationship. So, what made me so happy about the way Tamal Krishna Goswami chided me is, it proved that of course I knew it, but still it reconfirmed that Srila Prabhupada was the center of our relationship. And then when it came to Srila Prabhupada’s service he wouldn’t compromise, or speak pleasantly for the sake of our, the smooth social interactions in our relationship. So I found that very encouraging, very encouraging.

The other incident took place late during Srila Prabhupada’s presence with us in 1977. He was staying upstairs in his quarters in Juhu and the whole idea was that no one should disturb Srila Prabhupada. So Srila Prabhupada was in his quarters, I mean not just his quarters but he was in his room, and then outside his room, there was a pair of doors that led to a library and then the library had another set of doors and then beyond that was the desk where the secretary, who was Tamal Krishna Goswami, would sit. So, there were two pairs of doors but just to take special care not to disturb Srila Prabhupada, Tamal Krishna Goswami and I went almost into the hallway, I mean he didn’t want to leave his service, didn’t want to leave his post unattended. So, we are almost outside the quarters and yeah, he embraced me affectionately and then he asked me to go to the bank to make a deposit and I thought, “I’m the temple president, I can do so many things that others cannot do, I mean so many people can make a deposit.” So, I said that to Tamal Krishna Goswami and just then Srila Prabhupada’s buzzer rang.

You might have heard Srila Prabhupada’s. . . I mean you might have heard Srila gurudeva’s buzzer upstairs in Dallas, well Srila Prabhupada was the first, he had his buzzer. And so, and when he rang the buzzer we were so happy because it was very hard to get to see Srila Prabhupada because he was not well at all, and the whole idea was not to disturb him. Sowe both ran around with great eagerness and happiness, and Srila Prabhupada began speaking; and then at a certain point he said, “If the spiritual master tells you to go to the bank and you refuse, where is the surrender?”

So, I thought, “Prabhupada could not possibly have heard our discussion,” I thought it must have been the Paramātmā; the spiritual master is the external manifestation of the Supersoul, impelling him to say that. Although our godbrother Teyjas dasa did comment that Srila Prabhupada had extraordinarily acute senses, so he thought it might have been possible that he actually heard it, but I didn’t think so at the time for sure.

And there is more to the discussion but what really stayed with me was if the spiritual master tells you to go to the bank and you refuse, where is the surrender? And I took that to mean that I shouldn’t have taken it that Tamal Krishna Goswami was asking me to go to the bank, but actually my spiritual master Srila Prabhupada was asking me to go to the bank through him, and I shouldn’t see him independent of Srila Prabhupada because he was so intimately connected with and tuned in to Srila Prabhupada.

So yeah, I’ve always had that sort of dual relationship with Tamal Krishna Goswami as a godbrother, as a friend, but also as a disciple, because of his closeness to Srila Prabhupada and Srila Prabhupada’s disciple. And I was also glad that after Srila Prabhupada left, that Gaura-purnima in 1978, Jayadvaita Swami and I took sannyasa, and Jayadvaita Swami took from Satsvarupa dasa Goswami and I took from Tamal Krishna Goswami. And Tamal Krishna Goswami commented at the ceremony that it was the end of an era because Jayadvaita Prabhu and I were senior brahmacharis. But why I mention it is that being his sannyasa disciple reinforced that mood of being a disciple, being in the position of a disciple.

And one more little thing if we have three minutes.

Devotee: Yes, Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: This goes to after Srila Prabhupada left, and there was, things seemed okay for a while with what came to be known as the zonal acharyas and then some of them started to fall down and there was a lot of chaos in the movement. And I was in that situation in South Africa and Mauritius, where the zonal acharya had been Bhagavan Prabhu and then when he fell down I had to deal with so many things. And it was going on in many other places, so I felt very isolated.

And anyway, somehow or other, I was able to get free and I came to Dallas, and I had a memorable talk with him in his bedroom. We were sitting on the floor together and he said that, “With all my association with Srila Prabhupada and with my three initiations from Srila Prabhupada, first, second, and sannyasa, I still feel the need for śikṣā-gurus in my life.” And then he listed some people who he considered to be his śikṣā-gurus. I don’t remember all the names he mentioned but he mentioned Sivarama Swami, he mentioned Bhurijana Prabhu, he even mentioned me. And that really got me thinking, because after all these senior devotees left, fell down, senior devotees in whom I had so much faith, I sort of made an internal resolution, “I’m not going to put my faith in anyone except Srila Prabhupada.”

But when he spoke like that, I started thinking because accepting someone as a śikṣā-guru, obviously means you have faith in that person. So that got me thinking. Then, the next morning after maṅgala-ārati, during the japa period, and the mood in the temple room was very intense then, I mean there were so many people there chanting japa really intently. And Srila gurudeva himself was chanting japa and devotees were sort of walking around in a circle. And suddenly I got this, what to say, inspiration in my heart or intuition in my heart, that I should accept Srila gurudeva as my śikṣā-guru.

And I wanted to tell him but I didn’t want to interrupt his japa but finally, it became too much and I approached him and I said, “I don’t want to interrupt your japa but I was thinking about what you said last night, and I want to accept you as my śikṣā-guru.” And he looked at me with his sort of knowing glance and a mild smile on his face, “all right.”

And yeah, I thanked him for inspiring me with that realization and for guiding me all along and continuing to guide me. And also for, yeah, so many arrangements and gifts, like Bhurijana Prabhu said that he gave Ṛtadhvaja Swami and me Texas, he gave Giridhari Swami the Orient and he gave Kesava Bharati dasa Goswami, Govardhana.

Devotee: Jaya!

Giriraj Swami:The ashram at Govardhana. Yeah, I mean his gifts, Kalachandji Prabhu, my editor, more than editor, but major gift from Srila gurudeva. So, yeah I’m grateful to him and to all of you. Hare Krishna.