Meeting My Perfect Master

Giriraj Swami: All glories to the assembled devotees, all glories to the assembled devotees, all glories to the assembled devotees, all glories all glories to Sri Guru and Sri Gauranga, all glorious to Srila Prabhupada.

Hare Krishna. It is a great pleasure and privilege for me to be with you today in the place where I took birth spiritually, in Boston. I will speak something about my spiritual journey that culminated in my meeting Srila Prabhupada and surrendering to him in Boston.

READING from Watering the Seed

In my youth I aspired to attain perfect happiness, and soon I realized that such happiness could not be achieved materially but only spiritually. And, through reading spiritual books, I came to understand that to achieve spiritual perfection, I needed a guru. In fact, I read that I didn’t even have to choose the guru. He was already there; all I had to do was find him. So whenever I heard about a guru anywhere, even a thousand miles away, I would go to meet him.

One teacher I met was a Zen master, supposedly enlightened and certified by another enlightened master in Japan. I had read a book he had written, and when I heard he was holding a three-day retreat at his ashram in Rochester, New York, I went. Upon my arrival I found that his students were not very happy. But I thought, “Anyway, they are just students. Let me meet the master.”

During the retreat he held meditation sessions in which everyone had to sit up straight and look at the wall, concentrating on some object he would give us. The master walked around with a stick, and if he thought any of us was falling asleep or that someone’s mind was wandering, he would hit the offender with the stick.

COMMENT

After the session the participants would meet in their dining hall where there were wooden tables and benches, and so I sat at a table with the master and some of his students.

READING (continued)

And one of his students asked him about his recently having become angry. “Yes, it’s true,” he said. “I lost my temper; I shouldn’t have.” I started to doubt whether he was my perfect master. Still, I had read that a Zen master might appear ordinary and that one might not recognize him, so I thought, “Maybe this is part of it.” But my doubt remained. Later, he came to Boston, near Brandeis University, where I was studying and gave a talk. After his talk and demonstration, someone in the audience asked him about Vedanta. “I have enough trouble keeping up with Zen,” he answered. “How do you expect me to know about Vedanta?” My previous doubt was confirmed; “He is not my perfect master.”

Then a hatha-yogi came to Brandeis to give a lecture. He had long hair and a beard and flowing robes. He said that by yoga you could attain complete mastery over your bodily functions, including the movements of the bowels. You could actually command your intestines; “Ascending colon, advance! Transverse colon, advance! Descending colon, advance!” and finally, “Rectum, pass!” I was really looking for a guru, so I thought, “Anyway, maybe.”

After the lecture, I tried to meet the swami, but he was leaving for the airport. I wanted to ride with him in his car, but there was no room, so I rode with some of his students. On the way, they discussed the various foods they missed since they had joined the ashram. So I started to have some doubts. But then I thought, “Anyway, they are just the students; the master may be on a much higher level.”

When we arrived at the airport, I beheld the swami. There he was—long flowing hair, beard, draping orange robes, a flower in his hair, a twinkle in his eyes—the very picture of Indian spirituality. But then I saw him very tightly embracing his women disciples. And then I knew; “He is not my perfect master. I have to keep looking.”

Next I heard of an “enlightened” psychology professor who was teaching at Antioch College, in Ohio, which was known as a progressive university, and I wanted to meet him immediately. Ready to do anything to find my guru, I got in my car and drove the seven hundred miles. When I arrived, with great anticipation and eagerness I searched out the professor’s office and inquired about him from his secretary. “He is playing golf,” she informed me. “Playing golf?” I asked incredulously. “I thought he was supposed to be enlightened.” “That is his Zen,” she replied. “Oh, no!” I thought. “Playing golf? He is not my perfect master.”

Although I was disappointed about the professor, the Antioch campus was full of people interested in spiritual life, and while I was there, I spoke with some of them. Some students in the Student Union told me about a guru who had recently visited the campus. “The guru is in the heart,” he had said, “where he sits on a lotus flower. You can actually see him and speak with him.” “Wow!” I thought; “that sounds attractive.” That night I tried to really focus on my heart. And indeed, I got a definite impression that there was a divine personality there, with whom I could have a sublime, personal relationship. And he seemed just about to speak. I was very excited, and I became eager to meet him.

Back at Brandeis, one of my psychology professors invited J. Krishnamurti to speak. I attended the lecture, and during a break I told my professor that I wanted to meet Krishnamurti. “Why?” my professor asked. “I may want him as my guru,” I replied. “Oh, he doesn’t accept disciples,” my professor said. “He doesn’t even touch money.” My professor was impressed. But I wasn’t. I thought, “If he is actually able to help people, why should he refuse? Just to be renounced? He is not my perfect master.”

I kept searching. I already had the idea that you don’t have to choose your guru, that he is already there. I even had a mental picture of what he looked like—and he didn’t have hair. All the swamis and yogis I had encountered had long hair and beards, so I was beginning to despair; “How am I ever going to meet my guru?”

Then one day I saw a poster on campus; Lecture—Bhagavad-gītā As It Is—Swami Bhaktivedanta. My friends and I were supposed to go to the movies that night, but I wanted to attend the lecture instead. When I suggested that, however, one friend in particular got really upset. “Why can’t you be normal like other people?” she complained. “All you want to do is see swamis and yogis.” And the argument became so intense that I decided not to go. I didn’t want to disappoint my friends, so I tried to go along with their idea. But something inside me was impelling me to go to the lecture. Finally, I said, “Okay, let’s go to a later show. But first I have to go to the lecture by the swami. I promise, he will be the last one I ever go see.”

My friends reluctantly came along, but because we’d been arguing, we arrived at the auditorium late and missed the lecture.

Entering the auditorium, I beheld an elderly Indian gentleman—you—sitting on a cushion on stage – Swami Bhaktivedanta. To the side, a young devotee (Satsvarupa dasa) sang into a microphone, and other devotees were dancing in a circle around the guru. Satsvarupa was singing right into the microphone, and the sound was reverberating off the bare brick walls. One by one, students from the audience jumped up onto the stage and joined in. I also felt like going up, but I knew my friends wouldn’t approve; that would have been too much for them. More students were jumping up, climbing on the stage, and joining the circle, dancing. I kept trying to focus my eyes on the swami, but I couldn’t; his effulgence was too great.

COMMENT

But I stood up in my place and was swaying back and forth to the sound of the chanting.

READING (continued)

When the kirtan ended, one of the devotees announced that they needed a lift to Harvard Square or Boston. As my friends and I were still going to the movie and it was at Harvard Square, I invited the devotees to ride with us, and everyone piled into my station wagon. I was the driver, and also in front were two ladies. In the back seat were three or four devotees, and in the rear compartment were my friends and I don’t even know how many more devotee—I don’t think we could have fit anyone else.

Satsvarupa was squeezed in the rear with my best friend, Gary. Because of our impersonal readings, my friend was saying that ultimately everything was void. And Satsvarupa was saying, “There is no void in the creation of God.” But my friend kept insisting; “Everything is ultimately void.” I was overhearing them from the front, and puffed up as I was, I thought, “Oh, how silly that they are arguing over this.” I thought I had it all figured out. So, I turned to the back and announced something that I had read in some Zen book; “It is not void, and it is not not-void, but to give it a name, we call it the void.” I thought that my pronouncement had resolved the whole controversy. But still, they kept arguing.

One of the ladies up front with me was Jahnava. I had been trying to understand all the different paths and philosophies, so I asked her about Zen. “This world seems real,” she said, “but it is illusory, like images on a movie screen. Now, if you withdraw your consciousness from the screen, you will find that there is a beam of light.” I thought, “This is the best explanation I’ve ever heard, even better than the Zen books.” She continued, “And if you keep following that beam of light back, you come to a point.” I thought, “Wow, this is getting to the void.” But then she said, “But behind that point there is a projector, and behind the projector there is a person.” Then I thought, “This philosophy encompasses everything that Zen does, and more.”

Then I asked her about Yogananda – because I had read his book “Autobiography of a Yogi.” She dismissed him out of hand; “Oh, he is just a shopkeeper. Whatever you want, he keeps in stock. You want yoga, he will give you yoga. Whatever you ask for, he pulls off the shelf.” Then she said, “At his ashram in California he has a Gandhi peace memorial. But Gandhi wasn’t a worker for world peace. He was a politician who wanted to drive the British out of India.” She just dismissed him; “He doesn’t even know who Gandhi is.”

“She is speaking with authority,” I thought. But I sensed that it couldn’t all be coming from her. How was it possible for a girl of only twenty or so years to have so much knowledge and speak with such authority? But she did have authority. And I knew it wasn’t coming from her. Then I thought, “This must be coming from her teacher. I must meet him.”

When we got to Harvard Square, I let the devotees out. But as I was driving away, I realized that I didn’t know how to get in touch with them. How would I meet the guru? I stopped the car—at the center of Harvard Square—jumped out and ran after them. I caught up to one, Patita Pavana. When he stopped, he turned his head and pointed to the crowd around us. “You see these people?” he said. “They are all sleepwalkers. They don’t know what they are doing, or why. They are just conforming.” His words were so intriguing and deep; I wanted to hear more.

Suddenly I became aware of the honking of horns all around us. I’d left my car in the middle of the roundabout, and the traffic at Harvard Square was backed up. The honking kept getting louder. “I want to meet the Swami,” I said. “Quick, give me the address.” “Come at seven tomorrow night.,” he said. I could hardly wait.

The next evening when I arrived, the small storefront temple was packed with young people. Srila Prabhupada was sitting on a cushion at the far end. The walls were decorated with exotic paintings, and the aroma of incense filled the air. When he began speaking, I had difficulty understanding what he was saying. He had a thick Bengali accent, and the philosophy was new to me. But I did hear him say that out of many thousands of men, one will seek perfection. I thought, “That’s me! He is talking about me!”

After the lecture, Srila Prabhupada called for questions. Someone asked, “Since everything comes from God, or Krishna, does maya also come from Krishna?” Prabhupada replied that everything comes from Krishna, just like everything comes from the sun. The cloud also comes from the sun, although it covers our vision of the sun. But the sun is never covered by the cloud; only our vision is covered.

I was burning to ask my question. “There are so many swamis and yogis” I began, “and each recommends a different process of self-realization, and each says that his is the best. So how do I know which is actually best?”

Prabhupada responded, “What is your goal? Do you want to serve God, or do you want to become God?” How brilliant—how perfect! I was asking about the means, but to determine the best means, we must first establish the end, the goal.

Prabhupada said, “When you seek after God, God, who is situated within your heart, will give you all facility. But if you want to become God, you will be cheated; you are cheating yourself. How can you become God? You are trying to become God, and how can not God become God? God is always God.

“The Mayavadi philosopher says that ‘I am God, but by maya, I am thinking I am not God. So, by meditation I shall become God.’ But that means he is under the punishment of maya. God has come under the influence of maya? How is that? God is great, and if He is under the influence of maya, then maya becomes greater than God.

“So, the idea is that as long as we shall continue this hallucination that ‘I am God,’ there is no question of getting the favor of God. Then you do your own business and try to find yourself whether you are God or something else. As soon as I think, ‘I am God,’ I am cheating myself. Who will help you? That is going on. Everyone is thinking, ‘I am God.’

“So, what you are thinking? You are trying to become God? What is your idea? Or you are thinking there is no God?”

“I am thinking that there is God,” I replied.

“There is God? You are thinking like that?”

But I knew that I couldn’t cheat you, so I replied, “Yes. But I can see that I was trying to become God.”

“So, you are trying to become God—that means you are not God. Is it not? How you became not-God? God is so great that He never becomes not-God. So, your conclusion should be that ‘I am not that God who is great. I am a different God who sometimes becomes not-God.’ Therefore, you are a different God from that God who is great. Is it not?

“That is a fact. Because you are part and parcel of God, you are minute God; therefore, you have the potency of becoming not-God. Just like a fire and a spark of the fire; A spark, when it is in the fire, is bright fire, but as soon as it goes out of the fire, it becomes extinguished. But the big fire never becomes extinguished. Similarly, you are not that big fire; you are that small spark. You have fallen down; therefore, you are not God. Now you have to raise yourself again to the fire, and you will again be a blazing spark.

“So, that is the difference. Every living entity is Brahman, but the Supreme Brahman is Krishna. He never becomes not-God. We see in Krishna’s life, when He was a child on the lap of His mother, He was God. So many demons were killed. He didn’t have to meditate to become God. While He was playing, He was God, and when He was fighting on the Battlefield of Kurukshetra, He was God. That is God. Not that sometimes not-God, sometimes God. That is not God. God is always God, in any circumstance. That is God.”

As Srila Prabhupada was speaking, I got the clear impression that he knew everything about me; that he was seeing right into me, into Waltham where I had my apartment, into my apartment, into my bathroom, right to the wall on which I had pasted a sign I had inscribed in beautiful ornate lettering; YOU ARE GOD.

My search was over. I offered my obeisances. I had found my perfect master.

The devotees put their heads on the floor and offered obeisances. I also kept my head on the floor in surrender—for a long time. I felt so glad. I had finally found my perfect master and wanted to surrender fully. At the same time, I also felt ashamed and humiliated—my abominable desire to become God had been exposed; everyone there knew I had wanted to become God.

After some time, I heard sounds indicating that devotees were bringing plates of food, prasāda, to their guests. Something inside prompted me to look up. I expected everyone would be glaring at me, “You wanted to become God.” But no, people were blissfully taking prasāda, and when they saw me get up, they simply smiled.

Moments earlier, when a devotee had offered Prabhupada a large plate of prasāda, he had responded, “I am not God; I cannot eat so much, distribute.”

The prasāda I was given looked just like everything else in the temple—colorful, attractive, and variegated. Because of macrobiotics and other speculations, I never expected a feast. Where to begin? I picked up what must have been a cauliflower pakora, put it in my mouth, bit into it. . . and felt an explosion of taste. One by one, I sampled the preparations: bada, sweet rice—every taste new, incomparable. I thought everything was perfect: the guru, the prasāda, the chanting.

I loved the chanting. The devotees had a sign with the Hare Krishna mantra written in Indian-style lettering. During the kirtan, as I was looking at the letters on the sign, they started to move, dissolve, form, and unform themselves. These were the signs I’d been looking for, and everything indicated that this was it.

From the time Srila Prabhupada answered my question and I bowed my head, I surrendered. From that first meeting, my whole life’s purpose became to bring people to meet Srila Prabhupada. And I was able to do that in his personal presence for many years. But when he departed, I wondered, “What will be my service now?” My whole service had been to bring people to Srila Prabhupada.

Now I understand that Srila Prabhupada is present, and that by speaking of him, hearing about him, remembering him, and, most significantly, by studying his books and following his instructions, by practicing and preaching Krishna consciousness, we can experience his presence.

So, I can continue doing what I was doing when Srila Prabhupada was personally present—introducing souls to him—which is what I feel most natural doing. Because I know that somehow or other, if someone comes in touch with Srila Prabhupada, his life will be successful.

COMMENT

So, I could say so much about those early days in Boston. Eventually I will write a book about it, but the program during that period of ten days or so when Srila Prabhupada was in Boston, was that on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he would speak at the temple; and Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, he would have programs outside, usually at a university; and then Sunday would be the Sunday feast and festival.

So eventually it became time for Srila Prabhupada to leave. From Boston, he was going on to Columbus, Ohio, and then eventually on to Los Angeles. And up until then, I didn’t realize that Srila Prabhupada would leave. And then I thought maybe this is the one defect; that the spiritual master has to leave. Anyway, we all went to the airport with Srila Prabhupada, and at the airport I saw that many of the devotees, were crying. So, I asked one of the devotees named Arundhati, she was sort of a confidante back then, why are all the devotees crying. And she replied that Srila Prabhupada had instructed them that on the absolute platform, there is no difference between meeting and separation, both are occasions of ecstasy. And I thought that that sounded like a good answer, but I wasn’t completely sure it was practical.

So, Srila Prabhupada boarded the flight, and in those days they didn’t have so many security restrictions like now, so we were able to remain at the gate and we saw Srila Prabhupada disappear into the plane. And then we saw the plane take off and all the devotees were standing there looking out the window at the plane. And Arundhati said that Srila Prabhupada had told them that that when the spiritual master departs, the disciples should watch the airplane until it disappears in the distance, just like the gopīs watched Krishna’s chariot when it was leaving Vrindavan and taking Him to Mathura. They kept looking until the last bit of dust that was being raised by the chariot disappeared.

So we came back to the temple but that thought was in my mind, that Srila Prabhupada said that on the absolute platform meeting and separation are the same, both are occasions of ecstasy. But again, I was wondering, although it sounded perfect, I was wondering how practical it is. And then one day we were doing hari-nāma-saṅkīrtana in front of the Copley Square subway station, and suddenly I felt Srila Prabhupada’s presence descend upon me. It was so tangible and vivid and then, when I thought about what Arundhati had quoted that on the absolute platform there is no difference between meeting and separation, both are occasions of ecstasy. There are so many incidents.

I was fortunate in the sense that I had a car, and at that time the devotees didn’t own any motor vehicles. I got to drive Srila Prabhupada to all his programs and one of the programs that we went to was at the Harvard Divinity School. And as you can imagine, the students there were quite bright, you could say brilliant, and Srila Prabhupada, of course, was way beyond any of them. And after his lecture, when he asked for questions, many hands shot up.

One student asked that you say that by chanting Hare Krishna, all problems can be solved but in Russia, there were groups that were chanting the name of Jesus, but nothing really changed. Things only really improved when there was the Bolshevik revolution. So, Srila Prabhupada asked him, “So the people in Russia, are they happy now?” And the student had to admit, “No they are not.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “Then what was the use of such revolution?”

Then another student put his hand up and he said, “You say that by repeating the Hare Krishna mantra you get a certain result, but couldn’t you get the same result by repeating anything, like counting one two three, one two three, one two three, one two three.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “Of course that is not possible, but if you want you can try counting and when you get tired of counting, you can try chanting.” And then he and all the other students laughed. And then one student asked something like, have you seen God, something like that or are you truly happy. And Prabhupada replied, “If I tell you falsely that I have seen God or I am truly happy, will you believe me?” And the student said, “No.” And Srila Prabhupada said, “Then what is the use of such a question?”

So, one after the other he was disposing of all these smart students’ questions. And so, after the lecture, the lecture, the questions and answers and the final kirtan, I was sort of mingling with the crowd, listening to their appreciations of Srila Prabhupada. And suddenly Jadurani came running up to me and affectionately imitating Srila Prabhupada ‘s voice she said, “So where is the driver?” And I thought, “Oh my God, Srila Prabhupada is waiting for me.” So, I ran to the car, and I opened the door and I let him in, and then the devotees got in and I started to drive back to the temple.

But when I had driven to Harvard it was light, and now it was dark. And I sort of had an idea of how to get back, but as I kept going, I started to get a sinking feeling that I was lost. So, I asked the devotees, “Does anyone know how to get back to the temple?” And Srila Prabhupada, who was sitting with me in the front seat turned to me and said, “Is not the driver supposed to know the way?” So, I thought I was just being a good guy, I didn’t know I was a driver and I had duties.

Anyway, nobody was quite sure but eventually we did make it back to the temple. So, I jumped out, I opened Srila Prabhupada door and I said, “Srila Prabhupada I am sorry that I got us lost on the way back.” And he looked at me with such love and compassion and he said, “That’s all right.” And that really touched me because I had seen how he had disposed of all these brilliant students, and he could have demolished me in a moment, but he was so kind and compassionate, he forgave me. He looked with such love and compassion “That’s all right, that’s all right.” And then I thought he really is perfect. Not only is he brilliant, but he is also very kind and compassionate.

So, these are just a few memories. I could go on but maybe we will stop here, and if any of you want to ask any questions or make any comments, share any reflections, we can open the floor. You can raise your hand; your physical hand or your virtual hand, and we will discuss some more.

Hare Krishna. Srila Prabhupada, ki jaya. ISKCON Boston, ki jaya.

Devotee: If you feel shy you can also type in the chat window as well. Maharaja, maybe I can start. How many months or years you served at ISKCON Boston?

Giriraj Swami: Yes, about a year and a half. I met Srila Prabhupada, I think the end of March, in 1969 and then around October of 1970 Srila Prabhupada announced that he wanted to return to India, and he wanted the number two man from each temple to go with him. So Satsvarupa Prabhu then was the temple president in Boston, he was the number one man, and I was the number two man. I was the temple commander, treasurer, and saṅkīrtana leader, so I got to go. And I think probably everyone wanted to go. And it was very interesting because Prabhupada’s disciple, Rukmini devi dasi, she was pujari, she was married to Baradraja Prabhu and Baradraja was actually the first devotee who spoke to me in the lobby; I didn’t tell that part of the story but in the lobby of the auditorium at Brandeis University when I went to meet the devotees to give them a ride, he was the first devotee who spoke to me. And I had mentioned how down the students of the other swamis and yogis and masters were, well he was the opposite. He was so high on Krishna consciousness, and he just started saying in the Bhagavad-gītā Krishna showed His universal form to Arjuna. He was just going on and on, it was a stream of nectar. So, he was the first devotee who spoke to me personally and he was married to Rukmini. So when I was about to leave Boston for India, Rukmini came to me and in those days we didn’t have Gopi Vallabha, whose 50th anniversary we are celebrating now, because I left before They came, but we did have Jagannatha, Baladeva, and Subhadra, and she came to me as I was just about to leave and said that she had this feeling that Lord Jagannatha was sending me to India.

Devotee: Thank you Maharaja for the answer. We have few devotees in the temple hall they have a question.

Devotee: Okay, I am asking about Yogananda because so many people read his book and everything but did Prabhupada say he was an impersonalist or is he an impersonalist or can you say anything about that?

Giriraj Swami: Well, what I heard from Jahnava in the front seat of the car, was enough for me to know that he was, and I believe that what she said was coming from Srila Prabhupada because again, she spoke with such authority and such clarity that he was a shopkeeper. Whatever you wanted he would pull off the shelf and again he had a monument for Mahatma Gandhi as a world peace worker. He wasn’t a world peace worker; he was he was trying to drive the British out of India. He doesn’t even know who Mahatma Gandhi is. So yes, it’s been a long time since I read that book but I think pretty much everyone, until I met Srila Prabhupada, everyone else I had encountered was an impersonalist.

Devotee: Thank you.

Devotee: [Unintelligible 01:14:58] Mataji would like to ask question, please. Unmute yourself and ask the question please.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Maharaja. Thank you so much for these wonderful memories and your wonderful position of being able to be intimate with Srila Prabhupada and spend so much time is so exceptional, gives you a unique perspective. I was wondering how can we know that when someone is speaking to us, it is the guru who is speaking to us.

Giriraj Swami: Well Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura made a very nice statement on this topic. Because that’s a very good question; when the guru is not personally present how do we get his instructions; and it is such a beautiful quotation I will try to find the exact words. So, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura said: “My gurudeva is residing in many different personalities. If he does not reside in many different personalities, then who will protect me? Those whom my gurudeva considered close to him are my saviors but I hope I never have to see the face of such evildoing rascals as those who have criticized the lotus feet of my gurudeva, or those who have somehow supported such criticism.”

So, of course there are many times when devotees ask Srila Prabhupada that now you are with us so you can answer any questions we ask, but in the future when you are no longer with us how will we get answers to our questions? That question, other devotees also asked it but Satsvarupa Prabhu asked this question and Srila Prabhupada’s reply to Satsvarupa was that the holy name of Krishna will instruct us. And on other occasions also, Srila Prabhupada said we should consult the Holy Name. And of course we can also get answers by consulting senior devotees, experienced devotees. Our guru can manifest his will or speak through these devotees as well. Does that answer the question?

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja, that’s very helpful, thank you so much. Please give us your association again soon.

Giriraj Swami: I’d be happy to, thank you.

Devotee: We have Ashna Mohini Mataji, please unmute yourself Mataji and please ask question.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Maharaja. Please accept all respects to you, to your wonderful service. What an example of guru niṣṭhā, that faith it’s just incredible. Thank you so much. I have to agree it was probably Lord Jagannatha in Laguna Beach for that huge project in Juhu and that book is just amazing and I know that ISKCON Boston just got it just the 4–1–1 for devotees over there I heard that the book, “I’ll Build You a Temple” it’s already there to take advantage of that; what amazing realizations and thank you so much for sharing and thank you for your selfless and caring disposition always to everyone. So, the same love and compassion that Srila Prabhupada share with all of you, you are sharing with all of us. Thank you so much Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: I do think of Srila Prabhupada when I deal with devotees; how he gave so much of himself in a selfless way to help us. So yes, we should try to give people a sense of Srila Prabhupada’s care and compassion.

Devotee: Maharaja, there is a question in the chat by Shweta Prabhu. He is asking, please accept my humble obeisances. Thank you, Guru Maharaja. Did any of your friends become attracted to Srila Prabhupada and became devotee?

Giriraj Swami: My friends were all supposedly spiritual seekers. I mentioned my best friend Gary who was in the back of the station wagon with Satsvarupa, and I thought, “Wow this is it, this is what we have been looking for all these years; we finally found it.” But they didn’t see it that way, none of them really did. There was one, a lady, she was sort of interested and she was coming to programs. She was nice, she was pious, but then the end of the semester came, and she just went back to her hometown of Pittsburgh and that was the end of it. So no, none of them did.

None of them did although there was one, he didn’t become a devotee, but he actually came to Juhu and visited me. He was older than I was, but we were in the same dorm at Brandeis University, and he visited me in Juhu. So that was nice but none of them became devotees.

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja. If anyone from the temple hall would like to ask any question? Giridharan Prabhu? In the meantime, we get a question from the temple hall, I would like to ask a question. When you were in Boston did you leave the college by then and, you were already staying away from your parents, but did you take permission from them to live at ISKCON Boston by then.

Giriraj Swami: Those are good questions. So yes, when I met Srila Prabhupada and the devotees it was maybe a month or two before graduation, and I asked the devotees if I should complete my studies and get my degree. And they said yes, you should because it could be useful in the future. So, I went back to the campus, but I was so excited about Krishna consciousness, whenever I met my fellow students, I would just talk about Krishna consciousness; I wouldn’t talk about our studies. But somehow or other, it seemed that whatever answers I knew those questions came on the exams, except for one which was about evolution. And as I was writing my answer about evolution I realized, “Oh my God there is a gap here, I miss something.” But then when I got that exam paper back, I got an “A” and then I thought, “Oh my God the gap wasn’t in my understanding, the gap was in the theory itself.” So, my answer about the theory of evolution was fine. So yes, I graduated with Cum Laude. So, my parents came; I didn’t ask permission, they wouldn’t have given me permission, but they came for my graduation, and they discovered I was in the temple.

So, I remember when they came, I was in the kitchen peeling potatoes and my father said, “I spent so much money to put you through the university and you are peeling potatoes?” So yes, they were not very happy. But we would do kirtan in the park, and once, when we went to the park, my mother, she joined in the kirtan. The devotees would dance in a circle and she joined them and they did service; over the years they did service and eventually they met Srila Prabhupada. I am sure they got a lot of spiritual benefit partly because of my involvement in Krishna consciousness per se, and partly because of the service they did over the years.

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja, I appreciate that. I think there is a hand raised from the temple hall. I know they would like to skip a question but if there is anyone from the temple hall would like to ask a question now is the time please.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Maharaja. Please accept my humble obeisances. All glory to Srila Prabhupada. Just if you could please share any instances of reciprocation that the deities showed towards you when you first joined the temple or even after, just to inspire us because we all wait for that day.

Giriraj Swami: When I joined, we just had small Radha-Krishna Deities. At that stage we didn’t even have Lord Jagannatha. He came later when we moved from 95 Glenville Avenue to 40 North Beacon Street, that was a big building. In fact, that was the first building that ISKCON owned. But yes, we just had the little Radha-Krishna Deities. And in those days if you had first initiation you could do deity worship, and they needed pujaris, so Satsvarupa recommended me for initiation, Srila Prabhupada initiated me on July 5th 1969.

But for me, the strongest memory of the deity worship was the mahā-prasāda; all the food was prasāda because we offered it to the deities, but then the prasāda that was on the deity’s plate, that was called mahā-prasāda. So, I used to think that the mahā-prasāda tasted different from the regular prasāda, but I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or what, so I didn’t say anything. And then one morning we were sitting on the floor in the temple room having prasāda, and Saradiya dasi, she was one of the early devotees in Boston, Saradiya, she said to Satsvarupa, and I was sitting right next to Satsvarupa, she said to Satsvarupa, “Did you ever notice how the mahā-prasāda tastes like there is a thin sprinkling of sugar all over it?” And I thought, “Wow, so she is also tasting the difference, it’s not just my imagination.” So yes, I would say that was my earliest vivid memory of the deities’ reciprocation in the form of the mahā-prasāda.

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: Hare Krishna.

Devotee: We have Krishnan Prabhu who is raising his hands. Krishnan Prabhu, please unmute yourself and ask your question.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Maharaja. My humble obeisances to you. I have read your first book “Watering the Seed or Watering the Plant” but I haven’t read your new book yet, I hope to read it. Maharaja, my question for you was about your experience when you said everybody in the temple knew that you wanted to be God, but all the devotees were so compassionate to you and they all just smiled at you. My question to you is how can we learn to be compassionate to the people who we encounter and who are probably not close to Krishna consciousness, and who are probably just bystanders, they just don’t even know. How can we be compassionate to them? If we could get your advice, Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: Well, I think all the devotees in the temple were so happy and compassionate and kind, they were reflecting Srila Prabhupada’s mood and even though he could cut away at our false attachments and misconceptions, but at heart he is very kind and loving and compassionate. So, I think if we just think of Srila Prabhupada, we should feel compassion and of course reading Srila Prabhupada’s books will reinforce our devotional mood. And the reason I say so, is because I am thinking specifically of Prahlada Maharaja’s prayers to Lord Nṛsiṁhadeva and how compassionate he was. And when Srila Prabhupada was translating the seventh Canto of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam which includes the story of Prahlada Maharaja and Nṛsiṁhadeva and Hiranyakasipu. Prabhupada’s secretary or servant said to Srila Prabhupada that “Your mood reminds me of Prahlada Maharaja’s mood.” And Srila Prabhupada replied, “You think so?” And the disciples said “Yes.” And Prabhupada said, “I think so too.”

So yes, by reading his books, and again, I am just thinking specifically of that example of Prahlada Maharaja, you get that sense of compassion. And Prahlada Maharaja, he prayed that his father who was such a terrible demon and who tried to torture him in so many ways and tried to kill him, but still he prayed to Nṛsiṁhadeva to deliver his father. So that’s really being kind and compassionate and that was Srila Prabhupada’s mood. And so by thinking of them, by thinking of Srila Prabhupada, Prahlada Maharaja, you have so many examples in our line and in our scriptures, we should be; we should be kind and compassionate to everyone although we can avoid those who are envious.

It’s stated in Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, prema-maitrī-kṛpopekṣa yaḥ karoti sa madhyamaḥ. That the madhyam bhakta, prema, he should give his love to the Supreme Personality of Godhead; maitrī—he should make friendship with devotees; kṛpā—he should show mercy to the innocent by preaching and upekṣāḥ—he should neglect the envious. And Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura commenting on this verse says that although the devotee should neglect the envious, you shouldn’t go to preach to them because they will just become more inimical. But he said that the devotee can pray for the envious, that’s a good practice, sadachar. Like Prahlada Maharaja, he prayed for the envious, but it may not be good to try to preach to them because it can, as Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura says, it can increase the animosity on both sides.

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja.

Devotee: I would like to ask a question. When you were there at ISKCON Boston, in the initial days, how was the mood among the devotees that time? What was the vision of the devotees that time? Was there any vision there to the devotees that we should do these things, we should have a temple or we should have more devotees? Was there any kind of a plan goal for the devotees, and how was the dealing with affairs with His Holiness Satsvarupa Maharaja and with other devotees? Sorry too many questions but just wanted to know what was going on during that time.

Giriraj Swami: I met Srila Prabhupada and surrendered at 95 Glenville Avenue, and I wouldn’t say that we really had a vision as such, but we were just following Srila Prabhupada’s instructions. But the time came for us to renew the lease, and within my heart, I felt we should get a better place and a bigger place. So I was looking but we couldn’t come up with anything, and so we had to renew the lease on a Friday, and Satsvarupa, he was ready to renew the lease but again something in my heart was just pushing me that we have to get a better and bigger place. So I told Satsvarupa anyway, he won’t know until the end of the day on Friday that you didn’t renew the lease, so that will give us the weekend so let’s see if maybe we’ll come up with something over the weekend, and we did. We came up with 40 North Beacon Street, which was a big place. Again, the first property that ISKCON owned and it had been a funeral parlor. They had a, forget what you call it, but a lift for the coffins, it was for the coffins, to bring the coffin from the ground floor to the basement or vice versa, so we use to use that for the books.

So as soon as we got that building, Srila Prabhupada, he was very happy and he wanted to move the press to Boston. So, the press came to Boston and we had a whole operation in the basement and we published many books there, and Srila Prabhupada was very involved in the details of the books including the covers. I remember we published “Easy Journey to Other Planets” and Srila Prabhupada said that in one corner there should be the earth, the material world; then there should be outer space and then in the other corner there should be the spiritual world, Goloka Vrindavan. And then there should be a devotee flying through outer space on his way from the material world to the spiritual world, holding chanting beats. And Prabhupada said the beads, by the beads we go.

And when Prabhupada left after his first visit, we found a note, a handwritten note, in which he thanked Satsvarupa, Brahmananda, maybe Advaita and me. And I was still quite a new devotee, I was surprised but he left a note thanking us for arranging our own building in which we could have our own printing press.

Devotee: Maharaja, your dealings with His Holiness Satsvarupa Maharaja, how was his dealings with other devotees?

Giriraj Swami: Well, he was my hero. He was so saintly and he was the editor of Back to Godhead magazine and he wanted articles. So, because of his encouragement, I wrote an article for “Back to Godhead” about guru. But because of the delays in printing, it would be about four months between when an article was submitted and when the magazine was printed. And by the time the magazine came out I was already in India with Srila Prabhupada.

And we were in Gorakhpur staying at the residence, well it had been the residents of Hanuman Prasad Poddar of Gita Press, and the “Back to Godhead” with my article arrived, and Srila Prabhupada called me into his room; his room means it was a darshan room, and he said I have read your article in “Back to Godhead,” it’s very nice and you should take up writing as your first business. And that was that was significant then he asked, this turned out to be a sort of guidance for the rest of my life. And then he said, “Do you ever think of getting married?” And I said, “No I don’t, except that I see that the GBC’s are married.”

Now in the initial days the way Srila Prabhupada designed ISKCON, the GBC members were householders, and he envisioned them as managers. And then he gave different duties to the sannyasis to travel and visit centers and see that the spiritual programs are going well and travel to new places, I guess, new places for temples. I thought being a GBC, they were in a different category, it got maybe better or higher.

So, when Srila Prabhupada asked do you ever think of getting married I said no except when I see the GBC members are married. And Prabhupada said, “You will never be GBC.” And then he said that the demands of the body such as sex are like an itch, and if you scratch the itch the itching might temporarily subside but then it will come back worse. So he said it’s better to tolerate; and then he said not just sex but all the demands of the senses; it’s better to just tolerate. And then he said so you will remain brahmachari and after some time I will give you sannyasa.

So that was quite a momentous meeting with Srila Prabhupada when he received that BTG article that I had written under Satsvarupa Maharaja’s encouraging guidance. He was my hero for sure, he was my hero.

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja. We have couple of hands, Maharaja, but I just would like to before asking Malati devi dasi and Nikunja dasi, I would like to welcome Suman Prabhu. He is one of your devotees who joined in 1971, if I am not wrong, and he is here with us also. I do not know whether your time and his time overlapped at ISKCON Boston, but on behalf of ISKCON Boston, I would like to welcome him.

Giriraj Swami: Wonderful. I noticed him, it was very epic.

Devotee: So, I would like to request Malati devi dasi to please and mute yourself and ask the question.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Guru Maharaja. Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada, all glories to you Guru Maharaja. It’s more of a comment Maharaja, than a question; we see disciples of Srila Prabhupada, everyone had an unusual journey to reach the main point Srila Prabhupada, but we it seems, with our material eyes and ears we see the struggle how they reached Srila Prabhupada. But as I felt in my heart I just want to say Guru Maharaja that as Krishna came down into the material world with all His paraphernalia and He did all the pastimes, the same way I felt that Srila Prabhupada came down into the material world with all the associates like yourself and he performed all the pastimes, it was just we could see and that Juhu story and everything took a lot of struggle to be manifested but it was already done by all Maharaja. It is just a reflection Guru Maharaja. If you want to say something Guru Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: Yes, I have two responses from two different esteemed godbrothers; one is from His Holiness Indradyumna Swami and he feels that devotees were naturally attracted to Srila Prabhupada and decided to serve him that they were, may have been his associates. And then the other, you could say contrasting perspective, is from His Holiness Niranjana Goswami, who says that he doesn’t want to take any credit for any piety in his past or present life because he wants all the credit to go to Srila Prabhupada. So yes, there are different perspectives, and they are both nice and both from wonderful godbrothers.

Devotee: Thank you very much Guru Maharaja, that’s so beautiful. Thank you.

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja and thank you Malati Mataji. We have Nikunja Vilasini who has her hands raised. Can you unmute yourself and ask the question please?

Devotee: Hare Krishna Maharaja. Please accept my humble obeisances. I apologize my video is not turned on. I do too, have more of a comment than a question. I just want to thank you so much for you to take this opportunity to glorify Srila Prabhupada’s dearmost disciples. Thank you so much for your guidance and compassion and inspiration and care, which is truly heartfelt for me personally. I have listened to the talk that you have just given, with rapt attention and I was transported right there when you were describing all the incidents. I just really appreciate your unwavered and complete surrender and dedication to Srila Prabhupada’s mission. When you mentioned how Srila Prabhupada dealt with you and that he could have easily told you off or become heavy with you at that one point that you mentioned, you have truly adopted that mood as you were saying in your talk. You have given your time and dedication to everyone who comes to you, and many times I listen to your lectures, and you could have easily become upset or anything like that but you are so humble, and I can really feel Srila Prabhupada’s mood. So, I pray that I may become a recipient of your mercy. Thank you Maharaja and I will always feel there is a place for you when I think about my Guru Maharaja, Bhakti Charu Swami, you are always there and all the devotees and disciples that were close to Guru Maharaja, thank you so much.

Giriraj Swami: Jaya! I always keep this picture nearby, of me with His Holiness Bhakti Charu Swami Maharaja. Sometimes I keep it behind me, and sometimes I keep it in front of me so I can see it. Thank you for saying that.

Devotee: It’s the almost nine o’clock Maharaja. Last call; anyone from the temple hall would like to ask any question?

Devotee: There are no questions in the temple hall Prabhu.

Devotee: Okay, I think there are quite a few devotees who have joined online, so I would like to make a last call to all the devotees that please, if you want to ask a question, please raise your hand and ask a question.

Giriraj Swami: I had a question for Srila Prabhupada during that first visit, and I would like to share with you my question and Srila Prabhupada’s answer. It’s in the book, “Watering the Seed” that you mentioned but I found it very instructive.

So, before I met Srila Prabhupada I had the desire to serve humanity. Then from Srila Prabhupada, I heard about the importance of service to Lord Krishna. Still the question remained. “How does God’s service relate to man’s?” In May of 1969 after one week of hearing from Srila Prabhupada I got the chance to ask. Srila Prabhupada had just concluded his lecture.

sa vai puṁsāṁ paro dharmo
yato bhaktir adhokṣaje
ahaituky apratihatā
yayātmā suprasīdati

Without spiritual realization you cannot have peace of mind. If you want peace of mind, peace in the world, peace in your society, peace in your family, simply by amassing money by material advancement it will never be possible. But if you improve a little in spiritual life you will immediately become happy, so now if you have any questions you can ask.

And I asked, “You talk about service to Lord Krishna,” I began, “how does service to our fellow man come in?” “Why are you and others coming here,” Srila Prabhupada replied, “are we not rendering service.” To deliver one from the illusory material existence and bring him to Krishna consciousness is the best service. What is the meaning of service? To give relief from suffering; and Krishna consciousness gives the best relief as confirmed in the Bhāgavatam 1:2:6. The best service, the best religion, the best philosophy is that which teaches one how to serve God. As soon as one comes to serve God without any motive, immediately he becomes satisfied. yayātmā suprasīdati. 

As a five-year-old boy, Dhruva Maharaja was insulted by his stepmother, still he wanted his father’s kingdom. So, his mother advised him only God can help you. Immediately Dhruva went to the forest to find God, but when he actually saw God he said, “My Lord I do not want anything, I am fully satisfied, I came looking for some pieces of broken glass but now I have found the most valuable jewel.”

When one discovers his eternal relationship with God, he feels “I have nothing more to ask.” And to bring a man to feel I have no more demands, I am fully satisfied, is the best service. And Srila Prabhupada went on and he explained more but he convinced me that as far as my desire to serve humanity, giving them Krishna consciousness was the best service to humankind.

Devotee: Maharaja, one last question which we have in the chat window. With your kind permission, may I ask you?

Giriraj Swami: Yes.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Maharaja. This is from Arjun Anand. Please accept my humble obeisances. How do we cultivate that level of sincerity that we can overcome obstacles in our devotional path?

Giriraj Swami: Yes, who is it from?

Devotee: Arjun Anand, he is from Boston.

Giriraj Swami: Okay. Sincerity. Srila Prabhupada has given two answers about sincerity. One, that if you want to be sincere you should follow all the instructions of the spiritual master, no matter how big or small; and the other answer he gave is if you want to be sincere, you should associate with sincere devotees. So, I try to do both but I think in a way, it’s easier just to associate with sincere devotees, and of course, when you associate with sincere devotees you become more sincere and take up the instructions of the spiritual master. I am so grateful to Srila Prabhupada’s disciples, my godbrothers and godsisters; such sincere devotees, and even grand disciples, not just disciples. I couldn’t do it without them, definitely not.

Devotee: Thank you. Maharaja, there is one more hand which is raised from Akrura Prabhu and Kamala Sundari dasi.

Giriraj Swami: All right.

Devotee: Okay so please unmute yourself and ask the question.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Guru Maharaja. Hare Krishna devotees. Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada. It’s actually more of a comment but I am not sure if there is time so the host can let me know.

Devotee: Maharaja has given the time.

Devotee: So, thank you Guru Maharaja, for being here presently and bringing through the presence of Srila Bhakti Charu Swami Maharaja and Srila Prabhupada. It made me think of one incident when I was in LA California serving you and Bhakti Charu Maharaja, and we were at, I can’t remember, someone’s house. And Maharaja, I was waiting to serve the both of you, and Maharaja saw me there and he was wondering who I was. And then he asked me, “What’s your name?” And I told you my name and then he asked me “Where are you from?” And I told him Durban. And he asked me what’s my husband’s name, and I told him and he said, okay. And I was just happy to be there to serve you and him actually, I was just so happy. And then we did the serve out and I sat down and Maharaja looked at me and he said, “But what about Kamala Sundari, did she take prasāda?” And it was so touching because just with so much of love, no judgement, he was worried about me but I was happy there to serve him. I think it’s moments like these that are really such blessings, so I thank you Guru Maharaja, for bringing through these amazing realizations. Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: Thank you for sharing that beautiful incident with us. That’s so typical of His Holiness, Bhakti Charu Swami Maharaja, he is so caring, loving and caring.

Devotee: Thank you, Maharaja. Really, it was a wonderful class Maharaja. We are indebted to you for spending your valuable time with us, and I feel so overwhelmed with emotions because I never expected that you would answer my email, and you will agree to my request. Thank you, Maharaja, from the bottom of my heart, I would like to express my gratitude and especially on behalf of entire ISKCON Boston, because on this auspicious occasion of the 50th Installation Anniversary of Sri Sri Radha Gopijana-vallabha. we wanted a such a holy person, such an exalted person, to address and to be part of our festivity, and Sri Sri Radha Gopijana-vallabha has considered our request. So, thank you guru Maharaja, we really appreciate that.

I just would like to comment one thing Maharaja, I was doing some college preaching previously, and in one college somebody asked me what is surrender. I explained but I could not satisfy his question. Then again in another university the same question came somehow in the discussion, but again I could not satisfy the person. The third time in the temple, somebody asked me the question. By then, I had read your articles and also your book, and then I told them “If you want to know surrender, then please read about His Holiness Giriraj Swami, the perfect example to know what is surrender.” And I said to him, just like in google you have some keywords, and by the keywords you can find out that exact thing what you have. So in ISKCON we have some keywords. If you want to know surrender, if you want to know humility, guru niṣṭhā, and dedication then you will get only one answer; that is His Holiness Giriraj Swami Maharaja.

We are indeed grateful to you Maharaja. Heart is really overwhelming with so many emotions but thank you once again on behalf of ISKCON Boston. Indeed, we are so fortunate to have you on today’s Sunday feast talk. For this month-long series we are having so many different devotees and we are blessed to have you today. Thank you once again. Hare Krishna.

Maharaja, on August 8th we are going to have the actual day of festivity on that day where we will be having in the morning His Holiness Niranjan Swami who will be speaking at eight o’clock, followed by His Holiness Radhanath Swami, who will speak at ten o’clock and then at the prime time, at five o’clock, Maharaja, His Holiness Satsvarupa Maharaja will be speaking and then we after that we’ll be having the abhisheka ceremony at 6:30 p.m. And a day before, we are also going to have a memory sharing, a realization program nine o’clock on August 7th. So many of your godbrothers would be there also including Her Grace Rukmini Mataji who was there with you. So, she will also share something and some of the devotees will be there. So, I just wanted to brief this to all the devotees along with you.

Once again, thank you Maharaja. And I would like to also take this opportunity and thank all the devotees who have joined, to hear from Maharaja, from different places. And many of us, we do not know who you are, but yes we take this opportunity and express our gratitude for being part of this ISKCON Boston session. So we also would like to welcome you to please be part of our festivity on August 7th and August 8th, if you have the time. Thank you. Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: Can you email me that poster that has the different times and the different speakers?

Devotee: Yes, Maharaja, I will do that, definitely, I will send you. Thank you, Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: So if we are going to end now, I suggest we conclude by offering Vaishnava praṇām. Are we ending?

Devotee: Maharaja, whatever you feel. I would like to carry on this for many hours. Maharaja, it is like a Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam class right now. It’s unending, we are ready to hear your talk for hours and hours; it’s a nectarian.

Giriraj Swami: I thought we had come to the questions and answers and we had finished the questions and answers, so I thought we were ending.

Devotee: No, because I could not get an opportunity to speak in the beginning because I was really feeling ashamed to introduce the sun, and also I do not want to commit an offence by introducing such an exalted personality, so that’s why I just took this opportunity.

Giriraj Swami: It’s okay. Well I actually have another commitment now, so let me move along and it’s not too late, but it’s a little late there; 9:15. So why don’t we offer Vaishnava praṇām and then we can conclude.

Let us offer our respectful obeisances unto all the Vaishnava devotees of the Lord who are just like desire trees.

vāñchā-kalpa-tarubhyaś ca kṛpā-sindhubhya eva ca
patitānāṁ pāvanebhyo vaiṣṇavebhyo namo namaḥ

ananta-koṭi vaiṣṇava-vṛnda ki jaya!

gaura-bhakta-vṛnda ki jaya!