SB 3.2.20 – Srila Prabhupada Memorial Festival

Giriraj Swami: So, I will read a verse from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, Canto Three, Chapter Two, Text Twenty-three. This verse is very significant. Not only is the verse beautiful, but it also has historical significance, because when Śukadeva Gosvami came out of the womb after sixteen years, he left home immediately, and his father, Srila Vyasadeva, followed him into the forest, and when he came close enough to him, he recited two verses from Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. One describing Krishna’s beauty from the Tenth Canto, and one describing Krishna’s mercy, which is this verse.

When Śukadeva Gosvami heard these two verses, the one describing Krishna’s mercy and the one describing Krishna’s beauty, he became attracted. Although liberated, he became attracted by the transcendental qualities of Krishna, and he came back to hear Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam from his father, Vyasadeva. So, now, I will read that verse.

oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya
oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya
oṁ namo bhagavate vāsudevāya

TEXT 23

aho bakī yaṁ stana-kāla-kūṭaṁ
jighāṁsayāpāyayad apy asādhvī
lebhe gatiṁ dhātry-ucitāṁ tato ‘nyaṁ
7kaṁ vā dayāluṁ śaraṇaṁ vrajema

TRANSLATION

Alas, how shall I take shelter of one more merciful than He who granted the position of mother to a she-demon [Pūtanā] although she was unfaithful and she prepared deadly poison to be sucked from her breast?

PURPORT by Srila Prabhupada

Here is an example of the extreme mercy of the Lord, even to His enemy. It is said that a noble man accepts the good qualities of a person of doubtful character, just as one accepts nectar from a stock of poison.

COMMENT

So, the Lord is absolute, He is all good for everyone, and He is neutral toward everyone, He is always thinking of how to do good for others. So, even if one approaches Him as an enemy, He will try to do good for the person, as was the case with Putana. Although she came to kill Him by administering poison from her breast, He elevated her to the position of a nurse, like a mother in the spiritual world.

Srila Prabhupada said it is the mark of a good man that he takes the good side, not the bad side of others. He gave the example of his Guru Maharaja, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakura. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta had a disciple named Kuñja Bihari dasa, people used to call him Kuñja Babu, who, our Srila Prabhupada said, came to do business with their Guru Maharaja to profit personally from his relationship with him and from his service in the Gaudiya Math. But Srila Prabhupada said that their Guru Maharaja didn’t take Kuñja’s dark side, that he was coming to make business, but took the bright side, that he was coming to offer service.

And in Srila Prabhupada’s talk with Bob Cohen on February 28th, 1972 in Mayapur, Srila Prabhupada said, “Putana Rākṣasī, she offered Krishna poison, but Krishna is so nice that He thought, “She took Me as My mother.” So He took the poison and delivered her. Krishna does not take the bad side. A good man, he does not take the bad side, he takes only the good side. Just like one of my big god brothers, he wanted to make business with my Guru Maharaja. But my Guru Maharaja did not take the bad side. He took the good side. He thought, He has come forward to give me some service.

So, now I will continue with the purport.

PURPORT (continued)

In His babyhood, He was administered deadly poison by Pūtanā, a she-demon who tried to kill the wonderful baby. And because she was a demon, it was impossible for her to know that the Supreme Lord, even though playing the part of a baby, was no one less than the same Supreme Personality of Godhead. His value as the Supreme Lord did not diminish upon His becoming a baby to please His devotee Yaśodā. The Lord may assume the form of a baby or a shape other than that of a human being, but it doesn’t make the slightest difference; He is always the same Supreme.

Lord Kṛṣṇa accepted the motherhood of Pūtanā because she pretended to be an affectionate mother, allowing Kṛṣṇa to suck her breast. The Lord accepts the least qualification of the living entity and awards him the highest reward. That is the standard of His character. Therefore, who but the Lord can be the ultimate shelter?

COMMENT

o, this verse reminds me of Srila Prabhupada. “How shall I take shelter of one more merciful than he?” There was no one more merciful than Srila Prabhupada.

Lord Nityananda is most merciful and Srila Prabhupada manifested the same quality of mercy as Nityananda Prabhu. Once Srila Prabhupada was in Bombay, he received a phone call from the temple president of Calcutta who reported that one of Prabhupada’s earliest disciples had come to Calcutta and was smoking ganja, marijuana and asked what to do. Prabhupada told his secretary to relay his response. “Tell him that if he doesn’t stop smoking ganja, I will reject him.” Afterwards Tamal Krishna Goswami asked Srila Prabhupada, “Is it true that if he doesn’t stop smoking ganja, you’ll reject him?” Prabhupada said, “No, I cannot reject anyone. The mercy of Lord Nityananda has no limit.”

And, then maybe two years later, we were in Juhu. And Srila Prabhupada had a disciple who had fallen into bad company and who was living on Juhu beach and was doing yogic tricks. He was doing things like putting a paisa in his ear and making it come out somewhere else - different strange things to collect money. He was known as a disciple of Prabhupada and a member of ISKCON. So Tamal Krishna Goswami approached Srila Prabhupada and told him, “This is happening, and he is giving you a bad name and ISKCON a bad name. You should reject him.” And again, Srila Prabhupada replied, “I cannot reject anyone.” Tamal Krishna asked, “But, don’t you have to draw the line somewhere?” And again, Srila Prabhupada said, “The mercy of Lord Nityananda has no limits.” How shall I take shelter of one more merciful than he? Srila Prabhupada.

Another related quality of Srila Prabhupada’s is that he was always willing to give someone a chance. Around 1976, a strange fellow with a PhD came to the Juhu temple and said he wanted to join, and Srila Prabhupada invited him to stay upstairs with him. At that time there were six tenement buildings, which came with the Juhu land, and Srila Prabhupada had us build an additional floor on the top of each of those six buildings (though in the end we added an additional floor on only five of the six). In the bigger buildings each floor had two apartments, and in Srila Prabhupada’s building he had one side for himself and the other side for his personal staff. So, he let this sort of strange character stay upstairs with his personal staff next door to his own quarters. And Prabhupada was spending quite a bit of time with him. Hamsaduta Prabhu was visiting at the time, and he told Srila Prabhupada, “Prabhupada, you are just wasting your time with this man. He is never going to amount to anything.” But Prabhupada kept spending time with him. And in the end, the man left; he never did amount to anything. But when Hamsaduta mentioned that to Srila Prabhupada, “I could see that he never was going to amount to anything,” Prabhupada replied, “I wanted to give him a chance.”

Another person whom Srila Prabhupada encouraged was Dr. C. P. Patel, who would almost always accompany him on his morning walks on Juhu Beach. They had a friendly relationship, but Dr. Patel would sometimes speak like a Mayavadi. Prabhupada would accuse him, “You are a Mayavadi!” and Dr. Patel would reply, “No sir, I am a Vaishnava, a pure Vaishnava.”

One morning Dr. Patel and Srila Prabhupada had a huge argument. Dr. Patel would bring up different so-called holy men of India, and if they were not up to standard, Srila Prabhupada would criticize them. So, one morning Srila Prabhupada was criticizing one of Dr. Patel’s favorite revered so-called saints of India, and Dr. Patel and he had a huge argument. Dr. Patel raised his voice to Srila Prabhupada, and Srila Prabhupada raised his voice to Dr. Patel—they were literally shouting at each other. And Dr. Patel’s friends (he had his cronies) were trying to pull him away, saying, “Don’t upset Swamiji; he has a heart condition.” And eventually they pulled him away.

Back at Hare Krishna Land, Tamal Krishna Goswami approached Srila Prabhupada in his room and asked him, “What is Dr. Patel’s position? Is he a Vaishnava or a Mayavadi, an impersonalist?”

In response, Prabhupada told a story about a man who could speak many languages. In whatever language people addressed him, he could respond fluently. No one could figure out where the man was actually from. After much discussion, a neighbor said, “I will find out.” So, one day, when the man was preoccupied, the neighbor came up behind him and gave him a big whack. And when the man started to curse in his mother tongue, his origin was disclosed.

“Dr. Patel is like that,” Prabhupada said. “He can speak very expertly. He can sound like a devotee, sound like a Vaishnava, sound like a Mayavadi, sound like anything. But when I gave a slap where it really hurt—this so-called saintly person that he revered—his real language came out.”

So, Tamal Krishna asked, “So, why do you put up with him? He is so offensive.”

“It is our duty to engage everyone,” Prabhupada said. He wanted to give Dr. Patel a chance. And as the years passed, Dr. Patel developed great affection for Srila Prabhupada, and after Prabhupada left this world, he wrote a beautiful article for Back to Godhead about his relationship with him. The article was titled “My Life’s Most Precious Moments,” with the subtitle “A Bombay doctor wins the title ‘big fool’ and loves it,” because Prabhupada would always call Dr. Patel a mūḍha. He would say, “I am not saying—Krishna is saying: na māṁ duṣkṛtino mūḍhāḥ.” Anyone who doesn’t take shelter of Krishna is a mūḍha, fool.

So, how shall I take shelter of one more merciful than he? Srila Prabhupada had so many wonderful qualities, but his most important quality, for us especially, was his extreme mercifulness.

Srila Prabhupada had a good friend in Bombay named Bhogilal Patel. Bhogilal was elder to Srila Prabhupada by about three years, and he was extremely pious. The first devotee to meet him was Gargamuni, and when Gargamuni was explaining Srila Prabhupada’s work, Bhogilal Patel wept profuse tears of appreciation.

One day some years later, Bhogilal Patel came to meet Srila Prabhupada at Srila Prabhupada’s flat at the back of Hare Krishna Land. I had a close relationship with Seth Bhogilal, so I brought him up to meet Prabhupada. They were talking and, as is natural in a conversation, when Prabhupada was speaking, I would look at him, and when Bhogilal was speaking, I would look at him. But at one stage, while Bhogilal was speaking, I looked at Srila Prabhupada, which Prabhupada wasn’t expecting, and he was looking at me with such love and affection, like a father or a grandfather. By age, Srila Prabhupada was more like a grandfather. I was surprised that he was looking at me with so much love. But as soon as he saw me look at him, he changed his expression and became very grave and serious. I think it was some special mercy that I got a glimpse of how much love he had for us, which he didn’t usually show very openly. His love for us was manifest in his care for us and his giving us the knowledge of Krishna consciousness and engaging us in Krishna’s service.

Srila Prabhupada was very reserved about touching people, including even his disciples. In 1971 in Gorakhpur, as guests of Hanuman Prasad Poddar of Gita Press, we were staying at his large estate, Sri Krishna Niketan, which had previously been his personal residence.

Srila Prabhupada was traveling with his small Radha-Krishna Deities, and he wanted to establish an altar for Them in Sri Krishna Niketan. He wanted some foliage to decorate the altar, so he sent a couple of devotees, including me, to collect some. I went out to a thicket and was collecting branches with leaves. I wasn’t tearing them live; I was looking for branches with  leaves that had fallen. I just kept going deeper into the woods and collecting more and more foliage, and eventually I had a huge bundle, as much as I could possibly carry.

So, I was lugging the bundle up the stairs, and when I reached the temple room, Srila Prabhupada was there, and the altar was being set up. I just dropped the bundle on the floor and offered my obeisances. And while I was on the floor, Prabhupada patted me on the back. It was one of the only times—maybe the only time—that he physically touched me. I looked up, and he was smiling broadly. I didn’t know if he even needed any more foliage, but he was pleased by my effort.

So I ask you: How shall I take shelter of one more merciful than he? Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!

So, according to the schedule, we have about ten minutes left although Prabana Prabhu did say we could go over if necessary. So in the remaining time, I would like to ask our dear devotees who have joined us on zoom if they have any questions that they would like to ask or any reflections that they would like to share. If so, you can raise your physical hand or your virtual hand and speak. And, for the devotees on zoom, I request you to put on your cameras so I can see your moon-like faces, and it’s more personal if I can see your faces. Hare Krishna. So, yes, any questions or comments?

Devotee: Hare Krishna Maharaja. It’s Prabana dasa. So maybe you can continue the nectar and if somebody has the courage to ask the questions.

Giriraj Swami: Ok, coming back to Dr. Patel and his morning walks with Srila Prabhupada, after their big argument, for the first time, Dr. Patel didn’t accompany Srila Prabhupada on his walk. And Srila Prabhupada said, “Now no more discussion, we should read Kṛṣṇa book on the morning walk.” So, two or three days passed, and we did not see Dr. Patel, and then one day, Dr. Patel did come to Juhu beach separately, not with Srila Prabhupada as usual, he would accompany Srila Prabhupada. And he was walking closer to the land, and Srila Prabhupada was walking in the opposite direction closer to this seashore.

And suddenly, Dr. Patel walked over to Srila Prabhupada and touched his feet, and he said, “I don’t know, I had no intention of coming to you, but something just pulled me by force and so, I’ve come back to you.” And as I mentioned, he touched Srila Prabhupada’s feet. And then Dr. Patel explained that, “I have been taught to respect all the accredited saints of India," and Srila Prabhupada replied, “And my business is to point out who is not a saint.” [laughter] But then, Dr. Patel resumed his routine of walking with Srila Prabhupada every morning on Juhu beach.

Well, of course, I did have association with Srila Prabhupada in Boston when I first met him and surrendered, and then I, of course, had association with him in India, first traveling with him for about a year and a half, and then in Juhu when we got the Juhu land. I could describe my first meeting with Srila Prabhupada, that was nice.

During my college years I had the idea to attain perfection. I began reading spiritual books and learned that I needed a guru. I didn’t actually even have to choose the guru, he was already there. All I had to do was find him. So, whenever I heard about a guru anywhere, even a thousand miles away, I would go to meet him. One teacher I met was a Zen master, supposedly enlightened and certified by another enlightened master in Japan. I had read a book he had written called The Three Pillars of Zen, and when I heard he was holding a three-day retreat at his ashram in Rochester, New York, I went.

At the ashram, I found that the Zen master students were not very happy. But I thought, Anyway, they are just students. Let me meet the master. I saw him at one of the meditation sessions he held, in which everyone had to sit up very straight and look at the wall, concentrating on some object. The master would walk around with a stick, and if he thought any of us was falling asleep or that someone’s mind was wandering, he would hit the offender with the stick.

After one such session, in the dining hall, one of the master’s students asked him about a recent display of his anger. “Yes. It’s true,” he said, “I lost my temper, I shouldn’t have.” I started to doubt whether he was my perfect master. But because I had read that a Zen master might appear ordinary and that one might not recognize him, I thought, Maybe this is part of it. But my doubt remained.

Later he came to the Boston area, near Brandeis University where I was studying, and after his talk and demonstration, someone in the audience asked about Vedanta. “I have enough trouble keeping up with Zen,” he answered, “How do you expect me to know about Vedanta?” My previous doubt was confirmed. “He is not my perfect master.”

Then a Hatha-yogi came to Brandeis to give a lecture. He had long hair, and a beard, and flowing robes. He said that by yoga you could attain complete mastery over your bodily functions, including the movements of the bowels. You could actually command your intestines: “Ascending colon advance, transverse colon advance, descending colon advance! and finally, Rectum pass.” I was really looking for a guru, so I thought, Anyway, maybe.

After the lecture, I tried to meet the Swami, but he was leaving for the airport. I wanted to ride with him in his car, but there was no room. Instead, I rode in a car with some of his students. On the way, they discussed the various foods they missed since they had joined the ashram. So, I started to have some doubts. But then I thought, Anyway, they are just the students; the master may be on a much higher level. When we arrived at the airport, I beheld the Swami. There he was—long flowing hair, beard, draping, orange robes, a flower in his hair, a twinkle in his eye—the very picture of Indian spirituality. But then I saw him, very tightly embracing his women followers. And I knew he is not my perfect master. I have to keep looking.

Next, I heard of an “enlightened” psychology professor, who was teaching in Ohio at Antioch college, which was known as a progressive university. I wanted to meet him immediately. Ready to do anything to find my guru, I got in my car and drove the seven hundred miles. When I got there, charged with eagerness and anticipation, I searched out the professor’s office where I was greeted by his secretary. “He is playing golf,” she informed me. “Playing golf?” I asked, “I thought he was supposed to be enlightened.” “That is his Zen,” she replied. Oh no! I thought, Playing golf? He is not my perfect master.

Although I was disappointed about the professor, the Antioch campus was full of people interested in spiritual life. And while there, I spoke with some of them. Some students in the Student Union told me about a guru who had recently visited the campus. “The guru is in the heart,” he had said, “where he sits on a lotus flower. You can actually see him and speak with him.” Wow, I thought, That sounds attractive. That night I tried to really focus on my heart. And indeed, I got a definite impression that there was a divine personality there with whom I could have a sublime personal relationship, and he seemed just about to speak. I was very excited, and eager to meet Him.

Back at Brandeis my Psychology professor invited J. Krishnamurti to speak. I attended his lecture, and during a break I told my professor I wanted to meet him. “Why?” my professor asked. “I may want him as my guru,” I replied. “Oh, he doesn’t accept disciples,” my professor said. “He doesn’t even touch money!” My professor was impressed. But I wasn’t. “If he is actually able to help people,” I considered, “why should he refuse? Just to be renounced? He is not my perfect master.”

I kept searching. I already had the idea that you didn’t have to choose your guru, that he was already there. I even had a mental picture of what he looked like—and he didn’t have hair. All the swamis and yogis I had encountered had long hair and beards, so I was starting to wonder how am I ever going to meet my guru?

Then one day I saw a poster on campus, “Lecture, Bhagavad-gītā As It Is—Swami Bhaktivedanta.” My friends and I had planned to go to the movies that night, but I wanted to attend the lecture instead. When I suggested that, however, one friend, in particular, got really upset. “Why can’t you be normal like other people?” she complained. “All you want to do is see swamis and yogis.” And the argument became so intense, I decided not to go. I didn’t want to disappoint my friends, so I tried to go along with their idea. But there was something inside me that was impelling me to go to the lecture. Finally! I said, “Okay, we’ll go to the later show, but first I have to go to the lecture by the Swami. I promise, he will be the last one I ever go to.”

So, my friends reluctantly agreed, but because we had been arguing we arrived at the auditorium late and missed the lecture.

Entering the hall, I beheld an elderly Indian gentleman sitting on a cushion on the stage—Swami Bhaktivedanta. To the side, a young devotee Satsvarupa dasa sang into a microphone, and other devotees were dancing in a circle around the Swami.  Satsvarupa was singing right into the microphone, and the sound was reverberating off the bare brick walls. One by one, students from the audience were jumping onto the stage and joining in. I also felt like going up, but I knew my friends wouldn’t approve. It would have been too much. More students were jumping up, climbing on the stage, and joining the circle dancing. I kept trying to focus my eyes on the Swami, but I couldn’t; his effulgence was too great.

When the kirtan ended, one of the devotees announced that they needed a lift to Harvard Square or Boston. As my friends and I were still going to the movie and it was at Harvard Square, I invited the devotees to ride with us, and everyone piled into my station wagon. I was the driver, and also in front were two ladies. In the back seat there were three or four devotees, and in the rear compartment were, I don’t even know how many—I don’t think we could have fit anyone else.

Satsvarupa was squeezed in the rear with my best friend Gary. Because of our impersonal readings, Gary was saying that ultimately everything was void. And Satsvarupa was saying, “There is no void in the creation of God.” But my friend kept insisting; “Everything is ultimately void.” I was overhearing them from the front, and puffed up as I was, I thought, Oh how silly that they are arguing over this. I thought I had it all figured out. So I turned to the back and announced something I had read in some Zen book. “It is not void and it is not not-void, but to give it a name we call it the void.” I thought I had resolved the whole controversy but still they kept arguing.

One of the ladies in the front seat was named Jahnava. I’ve been trying to understand all the different paths and philosophies, so I asked her about Zen. “This world seems real,” she told me, “but it is illusory, like images on a movie screen. Now, if you withdraw your consciousness from the screen, you’ll see there is a beam of light.” And I thought, Wow, that’s the best explanation I’ve ever heard. “And if you keep following that beam of light back,” she continued, “you come to a point.” Wow, I thought, this is getting to the void. But then she said, “But behind that point, there is a projector, and behind the projector, there is a person.” Then I thought, This philosophy encompasses everything that Zen does, and more.

When I asked her about Yogananda, whose book Autobiography of a Yogi I had read. She dismissed him out of hand, “Oh, he is just a shopkeeper. Whatever you want he keeps it in stock. You want yoga, he will give you that. Whatever you ask for, he pulls off the shelf.” Then she said, “At his ashram in California, he has a Gandhi peace memorial. But Gandhi wasn’t a worker for world peace. He was a politician who wanted to drive the British out of India.” She just dismissed Yogananda. “He doesn’t even know who Gandhi is.”

“She is speaking with such authority,” I thought. But I sensed it could not have all been coming from her. How was it possible for a girl of only twenty or so years to have so much knowledge and speak with such authority? But she did have authority. And I knew it wasn’t coming from her. Then I considered, This must be coming from her teacher, I want to meet him.

When we got to Harvard square, I let the devotees out of the car. But, as I was about to drive away, it occurred to me that I didn’t know how to get in touch with them. How would I meet the Swami? I immediately stopped the car at the center of Harvard square, jumped out and ran after them. I caught up to one devotee Patita Pavan. He stopped, turned his head, and pointed to all the people around us. “You see these people,” he said, “they are all sleepwalkers; they don’t know what they are doing or why. They are just confirming.” His words were so intriguing and deep, I wanted to hear more. But suddenly I heard the honking of horns all around me. I had left my car in the middle of the roundabout, and the traffic at Harvard square was backed up. The honking kept getting louder. “I want to meet the Swami,” I said quickly. “Quick! Give me the address.” “Come at seven, tomorrow night,” he said. I could hardly wait.

The next evening the small storefront temple was packed with young people. At the far end, the Swami Srila Prabhupada sat on a cushion. The walls were decorated with exotic paintings, and the scent of incense filled the air. When he began speaking, I had difficulty understanding what he was saying. He had a thick Bengali accent, and I wasn’t familiar with the philosophy, but I did hear him say that out of many thousands of men, one seeks perfection. “That’s me!” I thought, “He is talking about me.” After the lecture Srila Prabhupada called for questions. Burning to ask my question, I raised my hand. “There are so many swamis and yogis, and each recommends a different process of self-realization, and each says that his is the best. So, which is actually the best?”

Srila Prabhupada’s answer was brilliant. He responded, “What is your goal?” because I was asking, “What is the means?” But in order to consider what is the best means we have to know what is the end? So, Srila Prabhupada’s response was perfect, “What is your goal? Do you want to serve God, or do you want to become God?” How brilliant, how perfect! Again, I was asking about the means but in order to determine what is the best means, we must first establish the end, the goal. “When you seek after God, God, who is situated in your heart will give you all facility. But, if you want to become God, then you’ll be cheated. You are cheating yourself. How can you become God? You are trying to become God but that means you are not God now. But God is always God. The Mayavadi philosophers says that I am God but by maya, I am thinking I am not God. So, by meditation, I shall become God. But that means He is under the punishment of maya. God has come under the influence of maya? How is that? God is great. And, if He is under the influence of maya, then maya becomes greater than God. So the idea is that as long as we continue this hallucination that ‘I am God,’ there is no question of getting the favor of God. Then you do your own business. And try to find out whether you are God or something else. As soon as I think that I am God, I am cheating myself. Who will help you? That is going on. Everyone is thinking, I am God. So, what are you thinking? You are trying to become God? What is your idea? Or you are thinking that there is no God?”

“I am thinking that there is God,” I replied. “There is God. You are thinking like that.” But I knew I couldn’t cheat Srila Prabhupada so I replied, “Yes, but I can see I was trying to become God.” “So you are trying to become God - that means you are not God. So, how you became not-God? God is so great that He never becomes not-God. So your conclusion should be that I am not that God who is great. I am a different God who sometimes becomes not-God. Therefore you are a different God from that God who is great. Is it not? That is a fact. Because you are part and parcel of God, you are a minute-God. Therefore you have the potency of becoming not-God. Just like a fire and a spark from the fire – a spark when it is in the fire, it is bright fire. But as soon as it comes out of the fire, it becomes extinguished. But the big fire never becomes extinguished. Similarly, you are not that big fire, you are that small spark. You have fallen down. Therefore, you are not God. Now you have to raise yourself again to the fire, and then you’ll again be a blazing spark. So that is the difference. That is stated in the Vedic literature. Every living entity is Brahman but the Supreme Brahman is Krishna. He never becomes not-God. We see in Krishna’s life when He was a child on the lap of His mother, He was God. So many demons He killed. He didn’t have to meditate to become God. While He was playing, He was God. And when He was fighting on the battlefield of Kurukshetra, He was God. That is God. Not that sometimes not-God, sometimes God. That is not God. God is always God in every circumstance. That is God.”

As Srila Prabhupada was speaking, I got the clear impression that he knew everything about me. That he was seeing right into me, into Waltham, into my apartment, into my bathroom, right to the wall on which I had pasted a sign that I had inscribed in beautiful ornate lettering, “You are God.” I put that there to remind me in case I forgot. So, my search was over. I offered obeisances. I found my perfect master.

The devotees put their heads on the floor and offered obeisances. I also kept my head on the floor in surrender, for a long time. I felt so glad. I had finally found my perfect master and wanted to surrender fully. At the same time I also felt ashamed and humiliated—my abominable desire to become God had been exposed - everyone there knew I had wanted to become God. After some time, I heard sounds indicating that devotees were bringing plates of food, prasāda, to their guests. Something inside prompted me to look up. I expected everyone would be glaring at me, but no. People were blissfully taking prasāda, and when they saw me get up, they simply smiled. Moments earlier, when a devotee had offered Prabhupada a large plate of prasāda, he had responded, “I am not God. I cannot eat so much.” The prasāda I was given looked like everything else in the temple— colorful, attractive, and variegated. Because of macrobiotics and other speculations, I never expected a feast. But where to begin? I picked up what must have been a cauliflower pakora, put it in my mouth, bit into it . . . and felt an explosion of taste. One by one I sampled the preparations: vada, chutney, sweet rice—every taste was new, incomparable. I thought everything was perfect: the guru, the prasāda, the chanting.

From the time Srila Prabhupada answered my question and I bowed down my head, I surrendered. From the first meeting, my whole life’s purpose became to bring people to meet Srila Prabhupada. And I was able to do that for many years. But when he passed away, I wondered, “What will be my service now?” My whole service had been to bring people to Srila Prabhupada.

Now I understand that Srila Prabhupada is always present, and that by speaking of him, hearing about him, remembering him, and most significantly, by studying his books and following his instructions, by practicing and preaching Krishna consciousness, we can experience his presence. So, I can continue doing what I was doing when Srila Prabhupada was personally present; introducing souls to him, which is what I feel most natural doing. Because I know that somehow or other, if someone comes in touch with Srila Prabhupada, his life will be successful.

Shrila Prabhupada, ki jaya!

Devotee: Thank you so much, Maharaja, it was so beautiful. Dear devotees, if anyone has any question for Maharaja, Maharaja will take them now.

Giriraj Swami: Sundari dasi has her hand raised.

Devotee: Okay.

Devotee: Hare Krishna Dear Guru Maharaja. Please accept my humble obeisances, all glories to Srila Prabhupada and your divine grace.

Giriraj Swami: Thank you.

Devotee: Hare Krishna, Guru Maharaja. Happy, happy birthday to you, and happy Radhastami. And it was so nice to hear about Srila Prabhupada from you, and it is amazing how Srila Prabhupada trained all the devotees, all the young boys from foreign countries. So, it is amazing, he is really amazing, and you, representing Srila Prabhupada and following in his footsteps and bringing fallen souls like us to Srila Prabhupada, it is amazing how you worked on me and now you are working on other devotees.

When I went to Hungary temple and I saw the devotees there, they didn't even speak English, Guru Maharaja. I was so surprised to see how they are singing all the ārati, they are following all the rules, and they are properly into Krishna consciousness, and I don’t know how Prabhupada did it, he has the power to do it. And I want to share a few things with you, Guru Maharaja.

Remember I was telling you I won’t be able to do bhakti-śāstrī, I won’t be able to learn slokas? So, in the back of my mind I wanted to do this as a service to you, I did join the course, and it has been six months since I have been in the course and I learned all the shlokas, and I passed all of them with 100 percent marks, nearly.

And one of my teacher, Guru Maharaja, he is maybe in his twenties, he reminded me of you, and all of a sudden, in my bhakti-śāstrī class he gave your example, he said, “Oh, Swami, His Holiness Giriraj Maharaja was so dedicated to his service to Prabhupada.” And someone tried to bring you down by sending a woman to you, and you said, “I have to answer to Prabhupada.” So, because you were so dedicated to your service, and you passed that test, and I was like, “Oh, that is my Guru Maharaja," and he was giving your examples.

And then, a couple of days ago, I was listening to one of the lectures from the Bhaktivedanta Manor Watford, and that young devotee gave your example as well, he said, “Oh, I am reading this book, “I’ll build your Temple” from Giriraj Maharaja." I didn’t read that yet, but he mentioned how Prabhupada trained you to get up early and have a cold shower. So, all of you boys, you were not getting up early, so Prabhupada himself got up earlier, like four o’clock, and had a bath with cold water, and everyone was like, “Okay, we need to get up early.”

So, this is how Prabhupada trained, and it is amazing how you are giving us Prabhupada by sharing his pastimes with you, enlightening us, and you have trained us like he has trained you, and thank you very much for giving us Prabhupada, and thank you very much for being a wonderful guide and guru for us, and I am sure Prabhupada is very, very proud of you. Thank you, Guru Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: Thank you for this nice appreciation. Hare Krishna.

Devotee: Thank you, Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: So, if no one has any. . .

Devotee: Sorry, Guru Maharaja, I have a question, sorry.

Giriraj Swami: Okay.

Devotee: Sorry, Guru Maharaja, I have a question.

Giriraj Swami: Yes, yes.

Devotee: Guru Maharaja, you just mentioned, like, we are Brahman, and Krishna is Supreme Brahman. So, would you, like, explain this term “Brahman," what “Brahman” means?

Giriraj Swami: Yes, brahman means spirit, ahaṁ brahmāsmi. But we are little Brahman, and Krishna is the Supreme Brahman, Para Brahman. So, yes.

Devotee: Oh, thank you, thank you. I have another question, Guru Maharaja. Can I ask?

Giriraj Swami: Alright.

Devotee: Guru Maharaja, when you said, like, last lecture I heard you said we should chant like we cry for a mother, a child cries for their mother. So, when we chant, we are saying to Krishna, “Engage us in your service," we are praying to Radharani. So, what do we pray? Our mind, my mind is not praying for that all the time. So, sometimes I have done all my rounds and I didn’t even realize I have done it but I am trying to concentrate. So, what do we pray? What mood we should have when we are chanting? And how can we improve that mood of being connected with Krishna while we are chanting?

Giriraj Swami: The main consideration when we chant is to hear the holy names. I have, facilitated many japa retreats and workshops with different devotees, His Holiness Sacinandana Swami, His Grace Ravindra Svarupa Prabhu. And Ravindra Svarupa Prabhu said that he prays to be able to hear the holy name when he chants. And Holiness Sacinandana Swami, at one of our retreats, he quoted Srila Prabhupada saying, “Just try to hear yourself chant sincerely," that is a very good instruction, “Just try to hear yourself chant sincerely.”

Devotee: Thank you, Guru Maharaja. Thank you, Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: Hare Krishna. So, Shobha Radha has her hand up.

Devotee: Hare Krishna, Guru Maharaja, please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada, all glories to your divine lotus feet. I had a question. So, you always say in all of your classes that we need to focus on each word on the mantra while we are chanting. So, before initiation, I think it was more of finishing the rounds, but now after initiation, I feel I am doing that but it takes a lot of time to finish the rounds. So, how do we then finish rounds because with work and everything it becomes difficult sometimes? Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: So, you are saying that when you try to chant attentively, it takes you longer than when you were chanting just to get them finished?

Devotee: Yes.

Giriraj Swami: Well, that is okay. Yes, the main thing is to hear, the main thing is to hear. Yes, I mean, you have to work and distribute books and do other services as well. But still, as you said, when we chant, we are actually asking for service, you said or somebody said, when we chant, we are actually asking for service. So, that chanting should be done attentively, even if it takes a little longer, and by our prayer for service, our implicit prayer for service, we will do more service, more. Although Srila Prabhupada did say in relation to chanting, that slow is not more spiritual than fast, but if you need to chant slowly to pay attention, then by all means, chant slowly, take your time.

Devotee: Thank you, Guru Maharaja. Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: Hare Krishna. Malati dasi has her hand up.

Devotee: Hare Krishna, Guru Maharaja. Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada, all glories to your divine lotus feet. I just wanted to continue Shobha Radha Mataji’s question of chanting slowly to hear your rounds. But then, I want to know, when we chant slow, then is it that we are thinking something else or we go off track and then we come back and then we understand, “Oh, there are so many minutes we are chanting one round," I just want to clear this point, Guru Maharaja.

Giriraj Swami: Well, you have to judge for yourself, because it is possible that if you are chanting slowly, you give your mind more scope to wander, and if you chant faster, then, in a way, you have to focus more. But then again, if you chant too fast, you might not be focusing and then you might need to slow down. And it might differ, sometimes you might do better chanting more quickly, and other times you might do better chanting more slowly, whatever works. Once, a disciple asked Srila Prabhupada, “How do we know if a plan is good?" And Srila Prabhupada replied, “If it was successful, it was a good plan.” [laughter]

Devotee: And, Guru Maharaja, should we keep track of the timings, like, seven to eight minutes or something like that, or should we just concentrate on each syllable?

Giriraj Swami: Well, of course, while you are chanting, you should be trying to hear each syllable, but there is no harm in keeping track of how long it is taking you to chant a round, no harm in that.

Devotee: A very small and necessary question again, sorry, Guru Maharaja. I just want to know, can we chant our next day’s round at 1:30 or Two o’clock or can we start after that? I just want to know.

Giriraj Swami: Oh, can you do your next day’s rounds at two or three in the morning?

Devotee: Two o’clock, yes.

Giriraj Swami: It is a little early, but I would say three, from three onwards you can count them for the next day.

Devotee: Thank you.

Giriraj Swami: Are there any more questions or comments?

Prabhana dasa: It doesn’t seem to be anymore.

Giriraj Swami: All right, so, thank you. Yes, very good session. Then if we are going to end, I suggest we conclude with Vaishnava praṇāma. I will say it in English, and then we can say it in Sanskrit.

Let us offer our respectful obeisances unto all the Vaishnava devotees of the Lord. They are just like desire trees and can fulfill the desires of everyone, and they are full of compassion for the fallen conditioned souls.

vāñchā-kalpa-tarubhyaś ca kṛpā-sindhubhya eva ca
patitānāṁ pāvanebhyo vaiṣṇavebhyo namo namaḥ 

Anant-koti Vaishnava vrinda ki jaya! Srila Prabhupada ki jaya!

Prabhana dasa: His Holiness Giriraj Swami Maharaja ki jaya! Thank you very much, Maharaja, for such a wonderful session. I really appreciate it, Hare Krishna.

Giriraj Swami: Thank you for organizing it. Hare Krishna.